Last sacrifice Chapter 5

Abe's words, together with Dimitri's haunted my mind while I could do nothing else than just wait.

And wait.

And wait.

I got sick of it pretty soon, to be honest with you, and started the push-ups again.

I liked those sort of secret, silent trainings of mine. They gave me peace and space to really think about everything.

I hadn't been training my punches and kicks, though I probably needed that the most. I thought that would draw a bit too much attention…

I thought about all kinds of stuff. And sometimes, I'd really, completely dream off, and I'd imagine how my life should've been. How my life would've been without that freaking Strigoi named Nathan, who had ripped the love of my life away and destroyed his soul, all together with my, our future.

I'd never let my mind linger too much on that though, because thinking of it only made my heart ache more for Dimitri. Not really something I wanted to happen.

But still, it was an intriguing idea…

The day went by with not much happening beside for the guardians who brought me my food and Lissa who kept calling me in her head, to please, please, let her in.

I tried to ignore her as best as I could but her pleadings got louder and louder and secretly, I wanted nothing more than just give her a hug, see her face to make sure she was completely alright, even if that meant it had to be trough the bars.

I was on the verge of letting her in, but anytime I'd get up and started to call out to the guards to get Lissa and let her in, I'd think 'better' of it.

That's what I told myself, at least…

That night, when I tried my best to strengthen up for the next day by sleeping, I kept waking up from nightmares.

I forgot what they were about as soon as I opened my eyes, but their fear remained and kept haunting me.

I also remembered a few of the faces I had seen, which worried me only more.

Because most of the faces were dead people or Strigoi. Some familiar, some unknown.

I even saw Mason.

One of the nightmares was especially about him and though I didn't remember what happened, I woke up crying and calling out for him.

I saw some of the guards look at me sympathetically, because they knew I wasn't guilty, but couldn't do anything about it.

Still, I was glad that there were a few people who believed me. It felt good to know that a few of them knew the truth.

When Abe came to visit me that day, I could about imagine what he saw.

No more strong, tough, badass guardian Rose Hathaway. I was broken. And I didn't even know why.

Maybe it was because my life just didn't seem able to have a happy end.

That could be it. My life always seemed to get a turn to the good and then it would get worse than I ever imagined.

I could imagine what he saw when he came in because I knew that I was bleary eyed and that there were deep circles under my eyes.

"Rosemarie?" he asked as he rushed over to my cell.

I refused to get up from my sitting position on the bed.

"Rosemarie, what happened? Did they hurt you?" Abe shot a murderous glare at the guards who remained stoic.

"No, Zmey. They didn't." I knew that the smile I plastered across my face was so fake, I doubted you could even call it a smile.

"Ow, and I think that you should know that whoever calls me Rosemarie, won't be able to do it again after I'm finished with them." My threat wasn't a threat at all. I just… said it.

Completely opposite to what it had been at the academy. Even teachers barely called me Rosemarie back then.

Abe stayed some more to explain some details of tonight to me without wanting the guardians to hear.

My thoughts drifted of soon though, trying to remember more of my nightmares. Abe didn't really like me not paying attention.

After he called me for the about 20th time and that it was my escape we were discussing here, I told him I just couldn't concentrate and that I'd just go with it tonight.

He seemed to like me not knowing anything about it and said his goodbye.

When he left I saw him freeze at the door in shock and stare at someone who was talking to the guard there.

The guard had weird, almost hypnotic expression over him and suddenly I was aware of the familiar buzz in the bond.

I cursed.

Lissa was using compulsion to get in!

I could see Abe halfway through the door and how he was talking in on her.

Through the bond I tried to calm her down too, though I knew that wouldn't help out either.

Fucking one way bond!

Gosh, I really had everything against me nowadays! Even this!

I heard Lissa yell at Abe, and even without the bond I heard the pain in it.

With a shock I remembered that she didn't know about tonight, and she thought I would most likely be sentenced to death tomorrow for something I didn't do.

I also knew that this was my last chance to talk to her for… I didn't even know how long…

"Wait!" I called out before even realizing it myself.

"Liss, stop it! You can come! I'll let you in!"

The guards at my door stared at me in disbelief and I sort of could imagine why.

All the time I had been locked up here, I had pleaded them, not to let her in. no matter what the circumstances were.

Once, I told them why. I told them I didn't want her to see me like this, locked up and devastated. And now, when I was so much worse, I begged her to come.

Did I mention 'Irony Of Life' to you already?

I did? Well, then again, here you have it!

I saw Abe turn to me at the top of the stairs and stare down at me, his eyes seemed to ask if I was sure about this.

The truth was… I wasn't sure, so instead of trusting my voice, I just nodded once.

Abe then in his turn nodded to Lissa and stepped aside so she could pass.

I saw her almost fly down the stairs and over to me.

As soon as she reached my cell, she pressed herself up against the bars and tried to give me a hug through them.

Strangely, she sort of succeeded and I held her as close as I possibly could.

If I thougt I had a breakdown earlier, then I'd better consider it twice in comparison to Liss.

She fell down on her knees and sobbed uncontrollably in my arms. Well, as far as you could cal it 'in my arms' with the bars between us.

I tried to calm her down but noticed that I was crying too. Ow, great.

"Hey, Liss! Stop it!" I said, trying to smile through the tears "I promised myself I wasn't going to have a pitty-party!"

I thought it would cheer her up, and in some way it did, but she also looked at me at those words and I felt through the bond how terrible she thought I looked.

"Well, I wasn't completely joking about the spa thing…" I said with a weak smile. "Sorry about the snapping then, though."

No problem. You had every right to… she told me and I saw in her head that she visited him and made Dimitri confess what he told me in the church.

I flinched at his words again,not able to help myself.

They were worse then a real knife stabbing around in my heart, I realised now. Because with a knife, you could only damage a heart once, but his words kept hurting me. Piercing my heart without leaving visble marks, but leaving so much worse.

I couldn't help but notice the bitter edge her memories had. Well, Maybe bitter was a bit too kind word for it. And I watched intimidated as I saw the conversation as an instant replay…

Images of me longing for Dimitri haunted Lissa's mind. She remembered how I looked when I said goodbye to her at the gate of the academy, setting off on a mission I wasn't even sure if I would survive, just to free Dimitri. How I looked when I returned, convinced I had done my job and killed him, but also knowing that there might had been another solution. That I could have saved him…

And then when I got the letter. My face that went from wondering to terrified. Yeah, I remembered that. That had been one hell of a surprise…

Lissa reached a door, the one to Dimitri's room apparently. (Rose! Stop feeling jealous that she knew where it is and you don't!) She knocked, well banged with her fist on it until Dimitri came rushing to open it. I was overwhelmed by the sudden rush of anger directed at Dimitri that I felt through Lissa.

"Princess?" Dimitri sounded sleepy and I suddenly realized it was in the middle of the night.

"Let me in, Dimitri. We need to talk." And she came in, not bothering to wait for him to answer.

"What is it, princess?" he looked not as surprised as he should've.

Lissa turned, suddenly fuming.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about! What happened to rose?" tears of anger streamed down her face.

Dimitri turned his head away. "I think we both know that she got locked up for something she didn't do."

Lissa walked up to him and pushed him in the chest. Dimitri barely staggered.

"You know that's not what I meant! She chased after you for so long, Dimitri! First to free you from being Strigoi and then for your love. But you know what? one day, she became tired of chasing you! That's not something rose does easily! She loved you! But I can tell you, now she stopped chasing, you wish she never would! She will get over you, and you'll curse yourself for letting her! You had her, Dimitri! And when she has moved on, you wish that you would have let her catch you!" she fell to the ground, sobbing in her hands because of my heartache.

That's how she sat there, sobbing, with no words from Dimitri to contradict hers. My heart ached for Liss. She was so scared to lose me, because she knew she couldn't survive without me. Not just because of the darkness that spirit brought with it, but because, even with the bond aside, we were bound so tightly. Neither of us could stand the thought of having to live without the other.

And then, the silence got broken. By Dimitri.

"She has moved on. She seems happy enough when she's around Ivashkov, doesn't she?" his voice was flat, not a hint of emotion in it to betray how he felt.

But I could guess.

He just didn't care. He couldn't even bring up the nerve to pretend being happy for me that I found someone else.

Lissa's head shot up in surprise too at the lack of feelings in his voice, but for a complete different reason.

She thought he still loved me.

I sighed. She, the aura seeing of all people, should know better than that…

Then, ironically enough she spoke the next, o so true words:

"Do you really think she forgot what you two had? I saw her aura around you! A love like that just doesn't fade! It can't!"

"BUT IT HAS!" Dimitri yelled in a sudden outburst, but then continued in a whisper.

"Don't you see that? It's over, Lissa. Accept that." He took a deep breath and looked away from her. For just a second I thought I saw a flash of my Dimitri. The one who loved me and kicked Jesse's ass when he caught me with him. The one who was jealous of any guy who could be with me without a problem.

"Rose did…"

I couldn't take it anymore and pulled out of Liss's head but she still tried to convince me that Dimitri still was in love with me.

I took a deep breath to compose myself and looked her straight in the eye.

"Liss, stop it. He doesn't love me anymore!" she tried to cut me off but I put a hand up to stop her

"No, he made it clear. He moved on, so that's what I did too. I gave up on him, as he did on me." I stared past Lissa, remembering every second painfully clear and I felt like I was there again, facing Dimitri, as he told me that there was no 'us'anymore.

"Rose. Please stop. Please stay away." He was working hard to stay calm.

I shot up, now as angry and frustrated as him. I had a feeling if I stayed, we'd both snap. In an undertone, I murmured, "This isn't over. I won't give up on you."

"I've given up on you," he said back, voice also soft.

"Love fades. Mine has."

I shuddered again at the coolness in his voice.

He told me something different once, and somehow it seemed easier to believe that he lied back then too, than to believe that what we had was lost. Kind of pathetic, I know…

Lissa sighed once. I'm getting you out of here, no matter what they say tomorrow! I promise Rose!

My eyes flew open and I pulled back from our hug.

"Like hell you will!" I whispered fiercely.

But… she started and I cut her off again.

"Liss! No! you're staying out of this!"

No matter how much I tried to convince her that I'd be fine, that it would work out, she just didn't listen. I soon realized that I had to tell her, Well, a bit about the plan.

"Liss." I called softly, but she kept on rambling about that she owed me, she had to free me.

"Liss!" I called again, but no response. I rolled my eyes, took a deep breath and then shouted:

"LISSA!" the guards flinched and moved a bit closer but backed off as soon as they saw it was just to get her attention. These guys knew me and I recognized one of them as one of the guardians that had been with Dimitri that day in the cafeteria.

Lissa stared at me with open mouth.

"What?" she hissed, a bit pissed off.

I looked meaningful in her eyes. "I'll be alright. I won't have to go on trial. Trust me…" I let my voice trail of.

"What are you talking about? Your trial is…" she cut herself of when she saw my pointed look at someone behind her. I knew what she saw when she turned her head slightly.

Abe was standing at the stairs and had about the same look on his face as the guards. Like he seemed to see everything, and nothing at the same time.

When Liss turned back again I said it again.

"I won't have to go on trial, Liss."

Her eyes grew big as realization hit her. She nodded, more to herself then to me.

Is there anything I can do? I started to say that she couldn't, but then thought of something.

"Yes, there is one thing you can do…" Liss's eyes lit up with anticipation, but it disappeared as quick as it came at my next words.

"Stay as far away from this as you can!"

A/N: PLEASE READ! Pfew, that was on hell of a chapter to write, but I wanted to post it before I went on holidays with the family. I hope you like it. I think this one turned out better than the last. Tell me if you think so too, and what your favorite chapter I thus far. This one is the longest too. 8 pages on word! LOL, RET!