Last sacrifice § Chapter 1
I was going crazy in here! I got up and started walking up and down my cell again while rubbing my face in my hands.
It had been 5 days since I got convicted and all the time I had been locked up in this damned place. Lissa had only once visited, three days ago. She had tried hard to convince them to let her in and eventually she got an idea to get her in. She said she used her 'winning personality'.
Yeah. Right.
My head spun from the lack of food, so I carefully sat down, the cell twisting in every direction it shouldn't.
My stomach rumbled in protest again. I hadn't eaten anything since Lissa last came, cause that was the last time they let Mikhail be on duty. He was the one who tried to get food to me as often as possible, but when they noticed, he almost got locked up himself and he wasn't allowed to guard me anymore.
Suddenly I heard muffled voices at the top of the stairs that lead down to my cell block and jumped up. A dozen of guardians came down and I froze as I saw who was being dragged down between them and thrown in the cell opposite of me.
Dimitri.
I stumbled back to the wall till I hit it with my back and I slid down to the ground.
No way! What… how… why was he here? This just couldn't be true! Life couldn't be that cruel! Right?
What was he doing here? I stared at him while all those question's raced through my mind.
In his cell Dimitri collapsed into a weak huddle of clothes. He looked like he had been attacked by a pack of wolves, or, and that's probably a bit more logic, guardians.
His lip was bleeding and he had a cut above his left eye. I had never seen him this…messed up! Not even during our field experience when he fought on a daily bases. He even had a black eye!
And though I was confused by his presence and appearance, I still felt, deep down, my heart ache at the sight of my Dimitri. Well, he no longer was my Dimitri, but he looked so much like him.
I wanted to get back at whoever did this for hurting him, my feelings that I tried so hard to bury in the deepest hole in my mind getting out again. I wanted to…
I called myself to a halt. Don't do it Rose, don't do it! You can't attack them now anyway and besides, why would you? Dimitri doesn't love you anymore, remember?
That stung. A lot.
More than it should have, considering I swore to myself I was over and done with him.
Can I lie or what? Even to myself…
As soon as the guardians moved away, leaving only two more behind to guard us, Dimitri cradled to his feet. He crawled over to the bars of his cell and his eyes lit up when they found mine.
He stared at me in awe, like he just had seen the thing that made him forget everything else in the world. I turned my head away from him, not able to look in his eyes without remembering how he used to look at me. Before…you know, thattime…
"Roza…" he croaked. He was sounding even worse then he looked, but that wasn't what brought tears to my eyes.
It was that name. That fucking nickname he gave me.
Memories washed over me. How he used to laugh during our practices and then sigh when I had been my impulsive self again. "Oh, Roza…" he'd sigh and that was all it needed to make my whole freaking day…
But then you had something that is called 'The Irony of life'.
No matter how much I used to love it, ho complete and beloved it used to make feel, now, the only feeling I got from it was one of pain, and loss.
Love fades, mine has. I flinched again.
And now he was looking at me with such relieve in his (still beautiful) eyes that it seemed like he hadn't told me to move on, give up on him because he gave up on me. That he never told me he didn't love me anymore.
More talking at the top of the stairs and I only then realized that Lissa was coming down. My own emotions had been so out of control that I hadn't realized she was this near, probably trying to get to me again.
"Princess, she asked us to let no one visit her except her lawyer. And he can only come if it's really needed."
Lissa sighed defeated. Then her eyes lit up as a plan formed in her head. I groaned.
Damn me for making Lissa look too much like me! I almost started banging my head against the wall but decided that wouldn't do anything good anyway. I would just ignore them completely. Yes, that would help!
Alright, maybe I'm not as good at lying as I thought…
"Well, then I want to see Dimitri, he hasn't ordered me away has he?" she asked, a sly smile spreading on her face. She was enjoying being smarter than me for once. Let's hope it stays with this one time, I told myself.
The guardian sighed and let Lissa pass.
As soon as she came into sight I felt something flood into me, my mood swinging from desperate and heartbroken, to angry and insulted. Well, saying that I was pissed would be an understatement.
I refused to look at her and turned my back to the bars.
Lissa called me in her head.
Rose? Rose, come on! Please let me talk to you! I just want to make sure you're alright! That they're treating you well…
A harsh laugh escaped my lips.
The guards had taken some distance from Dimitri and Lissa to give them privacy so they couldn't hear the next words that escaped my lips, even though I had sworn I wouldn't talk to them.
"What? Do you really think they'd threat the murderer of their queen like in a freaking spa?" I hissed sarcastically.
So, I was in a bitchy mood, sue me!
Lissa flinched at my words and I felt how much I hurt her through the bond. Immediately I felt so sorry, I wanted to get up and give her a hug through the bars, but as soon as those feelings registered with me, they got pushed away by the hatred that had come out of nowhere and I had to restrain myself of punching something, it being a wall, a person, or myself.
Dimitri had heard me too and through the bond I heard how he asked Lissa if I could hear her.
What a stupid question! Even for a rotten bastard for who I had risked everything to save him and then got dumped by.
Lissa nodded as an answer and then she got an idea.
I was too shocked to react as she practically pulled me into her head and so it felt like Dimitris next words almost seemed to be really spoken to me.
Which made it all that much worse…
"Rose? Rose, I beg you… listen to me." His voice sounded so pained…
"We want to help you! We're going to get you out of here, but you have to let us come to you… I…I want to tell you Rose… what you mean to me. I need to speak to you, Rose. Please… please, Roza."
I stiffened.
He didn't just say that!
That swirling feeling that mastered me always when he said my name like that was paired with something else now…
Hate.
Hate for the love I felt for him though he rejected me so many times.
Hate for the fact that now! NOW! He wanted to speak me!
When I tried so many times and he wouldn't even look at me.
That's exactly what I told him.
I sprang up and pressed myself up against the bars.
"OW SHUT UP! Stop it with that fucking Roza! NOW you want to talk?" I hissed fiercely but when Dimitri and Lissa flinched this time, I didn't care.
"You know, not that long ago, I'd kill to hear those words! But not anymore! You made it more than clear Dimitri! What we had, if we ever had something, is gone! For good!"
Who the hell did he think he was?
I was Rosemarie Hathaway, for fucks sake!
Did he expect me to come back to him immediately when he called or what? like I was a freaking puppy? Then he didn't know half as much of me as I thought he did!
"Roza I…" he started but I wouldn't let him finish.
Instead of the blazing hatred my voice had sounded like earlier it now turned cold.
As cold as my heart when I thought about Dimitri.
"My name… is Rosemarie Hathaway, Mr. Belikov. Rose is for friends, and for people like you… it's Miss Hathaway."
Last sacrifice § chapter 2
After that, Lissa finally left. Her shoulders slumped and I knew I had hurt her.
Suddenly I knew what my bad mood must have caused. Lissa used compulsion to get past the first few groups of guardians and she must've asked a lot of herself, and I bet she had been training again, because that darkness didn't come out of nowhere. When she walked in I had automatically taken it from her.
Well, maybe this would finally keep her away.
She was the heir for the throne, though she didn't know it yet, and the council wouldn't ease down with letting her take it when she was hanging out with the suspect of the murder of the last queen.
I sat down; too dizzy to stand any longer and aware of the worried stare that came from Dimitri.
His eyes never left me which started to get on my nerves but every time I'd try to turn my head to him so I could give him one of my infamous death glares my head started spinning so badly I barely could make it stop.
Even if I didn't move, my head started spinning now and my sight faded and I saw black spots.
Okay, I'm not one who complains easily, but this was getting really bad.
I don't think I had ever felt this crappy. No hangover after a night partying was anything compared to this (and I'd had pretty bad hangovers!). All I wanted was to lie down and never having to wake up again. Lately, I had been begging for sleep in my head more often because when I was asleep, it was the only time I couldn't worry about what was about to happen.
I thought about the letter that Queen Bit… Queen Tatiana (see, I'm learning!) had given me, about Lissa's half sibling, about how I was going to get out of here without Lissa getting involved, about Abe 's words which still ringed through my head, about Adrian and of course, as the inevitable… I thought about Dimitri.
Always Dimitri. Always the bastard which I hated and loved at the same time. Yes, hated.
Love fades, mine has.
The words pierced and stabbed around in my heart again.
My headache got even worse than it already was and again, the room moved in ways that shouldn't be possible.
I closed my eyes, trying to make sense of everything, but it just wouldn't work.
I curled myself up in a ball on the bed, almost exactly like Dimitri had, and tried to stop the spinning and just get my head silent enough to sleep. But I couldn't.
I think I probably sat there for hours but then, eventually, I slid into happy unconsciousness. Thanking whoever gave me that peace of mind…
I woke up from someone leaning over me and calling my name frantically.
I didn't want to wake up, my dream had been too beautiful.
It was me and Dimitri in the cabin, he still loved me and all those months of me being out to kill him never happened.
He was guarding someone else at court, I was guarding Lissa and we were in love.
So, so in love…
"Rose! Rose, wake up! Little Dhampir, please!"
That voice. I knew it.
I loved it… it seemed to care about me so much.
I struggled hard, and finally managed to open my eyes.
It was Adrian. Of course, I should've recognized the nickname…
He leaned over me, a few guardians in the background, and there was a tray of food beside him, with what looked like extremely dry bread, with a glass of water.
When he noticed I had my eyes opened he pulled me into a hug which I gladly returned.
Though it was hard to admit when my heart still longed for Dimitri, I missed Adrian like crazy, and sighed happily into his shoulder, trying to ignore the stare I felt burning from the cell opposite to mine.
"You scared living hell out of me, Little Dhampir. Don't do that again, I won't be able to take it without you, you know…" Adrian whispered in my hair.
I pulled him even tighter to me, just to have him close to me.
Yes, I didn't feel the heartbreaking longing for him as I felt for Dimitri, but I loved him nonetheless.
He had never hurt me like Dimitri did. And I never really had given him a chance though he had been always so…understanding.
Not at all like somemen here.
"Sorry, I promise I won't." I whispered, well croaked back.
Adrian pulled back slightly to look me in the eyes, and then down my body. Not in a creepy, lustful way, he seemed to examine me. And by the look on his face, he didn't like what he saw.
"Sweet, Little, Dhampir…" he sighed "What have they done to you?"
I tried to pull off a smile, according to Adrian's face I failed miserably, and said:
"Better ask what they haven'tdone. You know I'm not good at going without food. I'm a big eater."
"Yeah, I know." Was the only response I got and he helped me sit up against the wall.
He barked a few orders to the guards who had come along into my cell.
"YOU! Get her some realfood. And something to drink. You! Go to Princess Dragomir and ask for some clothes for Rose. But also tell her she can't come down here."
The guardians rejected.
"Mr. Ivashkov, we cannot leave you alone with the suspect. She'll…"
A harsh laugh from Adrian cut them off.
"Ow, for god's sake! Does she really look to you like she is even capable of standing? She is starving and dehydrated! Now GO and do what I told you. There are at least 12 other guardians here, so don't worry." He said harshly.
Everything started spinning again and I tried to blink my sight straight.
Adrian noticed immediately and he put a hand on my forehead.
"Dammit, little Dhampir. You're hot."
In a weak attempt to joke it off, I said: "I know. Thanks for embracing it."
The corner of his mouth twitched in to a faint sad smile.
He carefully helped me up and carried me over to my 'bed'.
When he sat me down again, I immediately leaned back against the wall. Ugh, stop spinning!
Finally, the guardians returned and I saw they had a tray of food with them. Real food.
Thank god! Meat!
Adrian supported me as I dug in and I was aware that Dimitri was still looking at us intensely.
What he fuck was wrong with that guy?
First, he loves me. Then, he tries to kill me. (Don't think that I blame him for that, he wasn't him back then. I just mentioned it because it would add some drama, and I really needed that right now!) After that, he basically tells me to fuck off and now, he stares at Adrian's arm that was draped around me like he wanted to rip it off!
That guy had some serious issues!
Once I finished my meal, I leaned into Adrian.
"How did you get in? I thought I asked them to keep you away…" I said sleepily.
"Well… I kind of said that I…" he hesitated like he didn't want to continue.
"Get it out, Ivashkov." I said, trying to get my old bravado back in my voice. Keyword-trying.
"Forgive me, Little Dhampir. I had no other choice then tell them I wanted to see the murderer of my aunt. I knew there would be no other way to get in…" his voice trailed off and I heard the shame in it.
"Adrian… I don't mind. I get it. But how did you find out I was unconscious?"
"Well, that was thanks to Belikov." Adrian said, sounding bitter at saying Dimitri's name.
"He needed to see you, he told us. But considering they wouldn't just let him in, he kept getting himself into trouble. Starting fights and stuff, until they finally arrested him. He apparently had been calling out to the guards for quite a while that that something was wrong with you, but they wouldn't believe him. When I came in I saw quickly enough something really was wrong and I convinced them that you needed help. NOW."
I stared up at him and tried to do the cool one eyebrow thing.
"Convinced?" I said skeptically.
Adrian just smiled.
"I was lucky a friend of yours, Mikhail, was on guard. When I got in you barely had a pulse so I told them to get something to drink and eat and get you a doctor. The doctor gave you a shot with something and left, saying he'd come check on you later and that he had to leave because a royal had gottena flue." His voice turned bitter at the end again.
I turned his face towards me.
"Thank you, Adrian. You saved my life."
"At your service, Little Dhampir. Always. But… as much as I don't want to say it… you should thank Belikov too." He said.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I opened them again to stare at Dimitri through the bars.
I nodded once as thanks.
It was the way many guardians thanked each other for something and Dimitri seemed slightly hurt over me being so stiff about it, but he returned the nod anyway, and I saw a glint in his eyes of emotions I couldn't figure out because before I could read them he had already pulled up his 'guardian mask'.
I sighed again.
We needed to talk, and then I couldn't get my love for him get in the way.
I was with Adrian now, or at least, I thought so, but I needed to figure things out between me and Dimitri first.
The one thing I wondered was…how I was going to talk to him before… before anything happened…