So here is the second chapter. I hope you enjoy it, and let me know what you think. Love it/Like it/Loathe it.
Thanks DiivaLover for taking the time to review.
Broken.
_
In these times of doing what you're told,
You keep these feelings, no one knows,
What ever happened to the young man's heart,
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart.
-Shinedown 45.
Chapter Two
John's POV
Hearing the crowd cheer my name as the hand hits the canvas for the third time, is the best feeling you can experience. Knowing not only that you have won the match, but that thousands of people wanted you to win, makes everything you go through in and out the ring worth while.
"Your winner and new WWE Champion, John Cena!" Just when I think it can't get any better Justin Roberts hands me the belt, and the crowd crank it up another notch. I don't think this smiles going to fade anytime soon.
A chorus of "Well done John!" and "'Grats man!" greeted me as I walked backstage, which I replied with my signature smile, still stuck on my face. I know I've won it before but it's ever so good to have it once again. Conformation that the company has faith in you, and when it's such a big company you can't help but feel good. One thing that would make this whole thing better though; a shower.
I know I'm stinking up the place, and no one likes a smelly champ. Nope, time to seek one out. You would think being in this business people would understand this need, but someone always insists on stopping you to talk, either completely oblivious to the not so pleasant odour or just plain dumb. Seriously you can run a raffle to see who it's going to be, that used to be somewhat of a practical joke between friends, but either way the unlucky winner to stop me to day is...
"Hey John! Great match out there, you looked amazing." Ding, Ding, Ding. We have a winner. Candice Michelle, please come down and claim your prize! See it never fails.
"Thanks." Grunting my reply I keep walking, hoping to shorten this encounter. Which doesn't seem to be working, as she bounds closer to me.
"We should go out and grab some food and cocktails! Celebrate your nice new belt! It's like you're seventh time holding or something isn't it?" Fourth I corrected in my head. She flashed me a smile hoping to convince me to go with her, slowly intertwining her arm with mine. Candice could never be called subtle, big bundle of pink stuff. Not that that's always a bad thing, just sometimes she gets rather caught up in the right now, and it's not until later that she realises. Time and a place kind of moment.
"Not tonight Candice. I'm worn out; the match kind of took it out of me. Plus I am in dire need of a shower. Which I know with you standing this close to me you can't disagree with." Twisting the truth slightly and throwing in the fact I defiantly smell to the same sentence would discourage her, she must understand that right? Being a Diva is physically demanding at the end of the day. They have to put up with the same stuff, even if it somewhat less frequent given what they are made to do now. But just like me, no one likes to be around a Diva that's just left the ring.
"Hmpfh!" was the odd response that she gave, guess my idea wasn't a hit with her, "You should come out. Gosh you WWE men have become right bores lately! It's like someone died and the memo only got passed on to you lot. None of you ever want to come out with us Divas anymore!" She was right to a certain extent, some of the guys that I'm closer to have all distanced themselves from that partying scene. Guess we're all just appreciating what we have far more than we did before. Seeing something change so abruptly, and the hole it leaves kind of shocks anyone into changing. So if that means spending a extra hour or two on the phone to someone important rather than going out and getting totally wasted, it's an easy decision. As important as my career is to me now, when I get to that point in my life where I cant do this anymore, I don't want to only have the memories of my time. I want to make sure that I have someone to spend my time with, and make new memories with so I don't have to only be about the past. By being able to make time for friends and family, I'm I guess in a way securing my future gold.
"I'm sorry Candice, but I really am worn out. And the way your nose is still wrinkled confirms I need a shower. But, I see your point and we'll have to sort something out. So we can all go out and have a night out. We do need to let our hair down." I flashed her, my pearly whites as I untangled her arm from mine.
"Fine! But I'm holding you to that one Cena! You will not be getting out of it." With that she spun on her heels and marched towards the Divas locker room. Well at least that's over and done with, and I guess with enough of the right people it would be a good night. And it would be a good thing for us to do together. It had been a long time since we had gone out, and had a relaxed evening with everyone there.
Finally, I'm on my own. There really isn't anything better after a match than being able to unwind on your own, enjoying the moment and getting that well deserved shower. As I neared my changing room I heard voices coming from the corridor.
"They've missed you." The voice belonged to one of the bosses, Stephanie McMahon. It's a rare sight to see her outside the office during a show, especially when her husband has a match. She was walking with a woman, who didn't look very familiar. Maybe a new diva, we seemed to need an injection of new blood, to get the crowd going once again.
The other woman giggled as she walked her eyes on Stephanie the whole time, they seemed unaware that anyone else would be in the corridor. Her brunette hair cascades in pools down her back, which seemed to have random blue and green clumps throughout. A blue sports jersey that I didn't recognise as a NFL team and loose fitting jeans completed her look, she seemed effortless and comfortable. The way the sports jersey hung loosely off her shoulders, seemed to hint at tattoo barley visible beneath her hair.
"I missed them too Steph, Paul too." Her voice sing-songed through the halls, "Oh and you too honey! It's been such a long time." The sudden seriousness in her tone, stopped me in my tracks. It was familiar, one I had not heard in a long time, especially not sounding so, I guess, happy? The accent gave her away instantly. So different and hard to pin point, when you first meet her you spend ages wondering where she could be from. She's simply not like everyone else, everything about her is just that bit different, that bit more than
you'd expect.
"Rayne?" Her name rolled of my tongue before I had time to stop it. Causing both women to turn and look in my direction. And there she stood, piercing grey eyes boring in to mine.
"John."
Jeff's POV
It's another town on the trail, another place to bow to the fans, thank them for all the support they've given us over the years. They are what keep me going lately. That was well needed when I got here. This place holds so many memories, some which are perfect others heart wrenching. All which have shaped me into the man I am now. It's all helped to produce the; I guess character I have, the Rainbow Haired warrior. Not just Jeffrey Nero Hardy. Failure and heartbreaker.
A part of me wondered if she would still be here, or whether she moved somewhere else. I mean it's more or less her home, so I hope things would be good enough for her to still stay on here. But she was always the little fire cracker, so you never knew with her. A smile flits across my lips as I reminisce over the past. Yet the harsh reality makes it ever so hard to keep that smile for long.
"How you feeling today? You took a bit of a bump last night..." Steel steps and my lower back still don't mesh to well together, I hadn't thought about it all day up until now. Darn Hunter asking questions.
"Fine I think. It hadn't crossed my mind till you just mentioned it. So thanks I guess." The look he gave me, told me he knew that I was only telling the half truth. The thing with knowing the bosses husband so well, guess that's what you get when your other half's are or were best friends. I'm not quite sure if they still had contact with each other, or if Steph was left in the dark about this all just like me. It's one of those things I don't to ask, to have it rubbed in that they knew and couldn't tell me, or that they know what she's doing in her life. If she's happy, found someone, if she regrets her decision. These are all things that I don't want answers to. I don't want to have to try and hold it together even more than I am now. There's only so much pressure one person can take, before they fall apart. And I'm trying everything to keep it together, to stay here, to make amends.
"You think? I find that hard to believe." At least he was trying to avoid the topic and add some humour to it. He's one of them guys that will try to lighten the mood no matter what, since he can more or less get away with anything.
"Why yes actually I do it quite a lot, you should try it!" I shot back, causing a smile to appear on both out faces. "Nah I'm fine, just well you already know. Just gonna take some getting used to still..." running my hand through my hair, I sighed. I don't know if I want a response to that or not. But at least with Hunter, he seems to care. Unlike some people who don't seem to understand, he's been there when I needed to vent or just give me a pep talk. Something that not even Matt has been able to bring himself to do. It's not just me it affected, it sent a shock wave through many people. Everyone seems to have an idea on it, an opinion. Some simply like to think they do so they can keep themselves updated in to WWE gossip. Stick there two cents into something that they have no comprehension of. Regardless of how many times you let them know that it has nothing to do with them, that this is something that they can't understand because they have never had to go through it. That regardless of how often they ask if things are ok, that it doesn't just get ok. This gapping hole, bubbling over with pain, loathing and despair refuses to close. Unable to put a band aid on it, I'm left drowning in these emotions with no one to save me. She was everything, she kept me afloat, she kept me alive, she held me so close that her heartbeat is etched into my memory. And I let that go, how do you get past that?
"Well I'm not going to stand here and preach to you about how you should be doing things. I've never been in the position that you are in now. So..." the speech was cut short by The Ace of Spades blasting from his coat pocket. "It's Steph, I'll be right back." I smiled as he walked out the room closing the door behind him.
Personalised ringtones suck, especially when the song you want to here doesn't play. It's disheartening waiting and hoping to hear that one song, that one thing that is the essence of that person, which you whack on your phone so you can answer it within two rings. You make sure you can hear it, just because you want to hear from them.
"I don't mean to sound like I'm prying, but don't pin your hopes on finding her here ok? She went for a reason, so don't expect anything." Randy, who'd been leaning against a wall, sauntered towards me. Looking at me knowing exactly what I wanted to do; he has this weird little thing that as handy as it could be, doesn't half piss you off.
"Just, don't! I don't need this from you, from any one. I've managed to have a whole conversation with Hunter without him bringing this up. So I don't know why you choose to or why it's any of your business that holding on to the thought that it might be possible, does enough to keep me going. It stops me crumbling, when I just don't have the strength left." I breathe in deeply, trying desperately to hold back the fluid that line my eyes. As Randy moves over towards the seat I'm propped up against.
"I get that Jeff, I do. I just don't want to see you get any lower. I'm scared; we're all scared that we will lose you. You're barely the same man you were before. Granted you can still fool the crowds, but not us!" he sighs, rubbing his temples bracing himself for what he thinks he's about to receive. This is a guy who seems to enjoy not treading lightly around anyone feelings, kicking up the dirt and dragging his feet over it. Just because he can. If it doesn't sit well with the Orton it's not worthy. He can barely say a word to me for days, then as soon as he sees a little opening, he's snaking his way in. Yeah he really does play up to that snake connotation the commentators have given him, even off screen.
"What don't you get? I asked you not to say anything! Fuck sake Randy, it's nothing to do with you. If I want to hold on to some hope then I will. I'm sorry that all I have! You wouldn't expect me to tell you to just roll over and get on with it if it was you. Would you?" Growling at him seems almost natural nowadays, he might think he's helping but only manages to hinder. I need to wallow; I need to deal with things, my own way. Not in a way everyone else deems acceptable.
Yet he still sits there with that smug look on his face. Thinking to himself, that never going to happen my wife my children aren't going anywhere. I'm not the sad pathetic bastard that pushed the love of my life away. How right he actually is, everything is down to me. Go ahead; carry on rubbing salt in to the wounds.
"Fine Randy, I'm sorry I must have forgotten that you were always right! The oh-so Godly Orton! So you sit there with that stupid look on your face for as long as you please. Talk among yourselves about me, to your hearts content. I hope that that makes you feel like you are good mates, because you sure as hell aren't! I hope you can feel like this one day, and feel how good it is when the people you base your life around desert you. Make you feel like an insignificant fool. I hope you hurt like this!"
They can cry themselves to sleep, and then have to act the big man. Because the fans can't see you with actually emotions, they can't see you hurting. God they love to know that your single, hoping they all can get a piece of you, get pregnant and have their fucking claim to fame! I swear if I could drop this fucking tag just so I have a clean break and go through this like everyone gets to. I would, with out a doubt. No more pretending, I wish I could be me.
"Jeff? Jeff, what are you doing?" I glared at him as I walked across the room, heading towards the door. Maybe time away from them would do me good. "Jeff! Answer me!" See and now he's angry. Shame! Let the perfect one get agitated. I hate how agitated they all make me, for people who claim to be friends they are such inconsiderate pricks!
"I don't have to tell you my every movement you know. Randy you are not in control of my life. So just stay the fuck away from me." I pushed the doors open, stepping out into the empty hallway. Guess Hunters call was really important then. Heading down the corridor I shove the door heading out onto the cold streets of Birmingham, ignoring Randy's calls from the hall. It's just me and where ever I want to go now. I plunged my hands in to my pocket and walked straight, knowing exactly where I was heading.
I figure I could do what I want around here, I know it well enough not too get lost. But I'm somewhat unknown enough to do so. Good job I left my beanie in my pocket, I can hide the hair. Flicking the lid, I pull a Marlboro out placing it between my lips as I flick the lighter. Inhaling the smoke, lifting the weight of the worlds of my shoulders.