So welcome to the forth instalment of Poetry In Motion. I hope you enjoy it again, and I'm sorry again that its on the short side.
I have to say thanks to Sonib89 & Kaycee-x for reviewing, it's nice to know there are people are out there. That goes to all you that have added this story to your alert list, it makes me rather squealy when I get the emails letting me know you've added this. So erm yeah, thank you all!
Disclaimer: I do not own the WWE or any of it's affiliates or the wrestlers. They all belong to the WWE and themselves. I'm simply borrowing them and using them to make stuff up. The OC is all mine. No copyright infringement is intended.
Thanks!
"If I could write you a song,
and make you fall in love,
I would already have you up under my arm.
I used to pull all my tricks,
I hope that you like this."
Cooler than me- Mike Posner
Chapter 4
Jeff's POV
It hadn't taken long to walk here, I'd visited this place more times than I can count on my fingers. Both with and without her. It had been the simplicity of the place that originally captured my interest, a place that you can just go to and not be bothered while you sit and watch the world move on around you. A bench and some grass, situated in the middle of the urban cityscape. That is all this place consists of, nothing fancy. And yet sitting her, you feel more at peace than in so many other places.
I don't know if this place actually helps or if it just serves to rub salt in the wound. It goes to show, that just because you achieve the dream you've always wanted, it doesn't mean you'll be happy.
I remember sitting in school, thinking of how great it must be to have this kick ass lifestyle. Where you can go out and express yourself how ever you wanted, entertain people, make them happy. Do so much for myself and for everyone else. But having all these aspirations and achievements have only gone as far as to make the performer happy, not the Jeff Hardy underneath the paint. Not the guy that sits alone desperately seeking the love that he lost. Trying to piece back this puzzle known as life, only to realizer that there are pieces missing, and that no amount of forcing can make things fit together.
Love is meant to be a conqueror of everything. It's meant to get you through the hardest times of your life, fuck if that's so then where is it now? Where is it when I need it? Why has my love gone?
"Fuck." I've succeeded once again, in allowing the tears to build up; that's the price you pay for thinking. Maybe the guys are right, maybe I should give up, move on. I can't physically be this miserable all the time; it wears me down so much. I don't want it, I don't want to be a burden to people. I know I shouldn't be the way I am with people. But they all seem to think it's so easy, that you can just pick yourself up and move on. They to make it better, try and show you that there are still people there. But it's just not fair that the love of your life can just walk right out on you.
When someone has been such an important part of your life for ten years, it's so very hard to just erase them voluntarily. Giving up everything for a memory, trading in the the feelings reserved only for them for a newer model, letting go. No one can help with that.
"So I put out my hand and I asked for some help,
We tore down the walls that I had built around myself, I was struck by the light, and I fell to the ground.
Is there anybody out there?
Can you pull me from this ocean of despair?
Drowning in pain, breaking down again,
Looking for a lifeline..."
Maybe I shouldn't be so rude to everyone around me; they may not completely understand exactly what it feels like. But I shouldn't punish them for my actions; they will only end up avoiding me, hating me, detesting my company. I've already began to isolate myself from people, because I chose this path I chose to put everything before her. Not thinking she'd ever leave, it should have been apparent really. I mean she stopped attending the shows; she withdrew from her friends, I can't even remember the last time she smiled when I was around. That's the worst of it, I can remember years and years of smiles previous but then they stop. It's like a black cloud hovering in my memory, covering everything I want to see. Maybe it's my punishment?
Sinking into the near by bench, my thoughts wash over me. Taking me to that other, where everything is good. The distant past.
"Fuck!" Note to self- do not go out of the house ever again. Not even if accompanied by a responsible adult, drinking that much is never a good idea. I have no idea why I even bother It happens a lot now, people recognises me when I'm out and they buy a few, then once I've had a few I want a few more, and before I know it it's shots and looking at the floor.
At least I'm not some famed musician, who has to run from the groupies every time they step foot outside my home. After all running is good for me, it would cut some time of my workout if I was to do it more often. Eugh! Thinking about running is a big no-no when I feel like this, my head is throbbing, and I have nothing up here to stop it. That means I have to go downstairs.
Shuffling out my room, I tied my hair up; least the dirty blonde mop can't cause me any trouble if it's out the way. I'll have to do something with it one day. But right now all I need is some water and pills, then sleep. Alot of sleep.
Walking into the kitchen I grabbed a glass filling it to the brim with cold water, and downed it, before refilling it and grabbing a the bottle of pills that were conveniently left on the side. Guess Matt noticed that I'm not quite up to par at the moment, would have been better if he'd of left them outside my door though, save me a trip. Stupid big brothers. Heading out of the kitchen, the volume sky-rocketed. Matt and my father's laughter filled my head reverberating inside. Certainly not a good feeling. Scowling towards there voices, another voice floats through the tones of my family. Someone I'd never heard before, someone female, suddenly sleep didn't seem the most important part of my day.
"We've told you already sweetie, it's no problem." My dad's voice boomed, "We're more than happy to help out. Isn't that right Matthew?" The tone of his voice, screamed for Matt to answer and be helpful. Guess he has ideas for her and Matt. "Yeah, it's not a problem. Couldn't have you wondering around." As they both walked in my dad held the door open for our guest.
"Thank you. I can't believe my car died. I've not even had it half a year." The voice belonged to a raven haired woman. There is something about her, her accent nothing like I've heard before, I mean what else could it be?
"New cars never stand up to it nowadays." Once again our dad spoke as; Matt just stood there and stared at the raven haired beauty in living room.
"Hopefully it will be sorted soon, and then I can be out of your hair." She flashed my dad a smile that sent my heart in to overdrive. I couldn't be that hung over still could I? I mean she wasn't even smiling at me . It was only then that I realised I only had my sports shorts on, I haven't even been introduced to the woman and I'm already in next to nothing around her. Wow I sound like a girl.
"Like I've said, it's not a worry." She nodded her head, before looking in my direction. "Oh sorry, this is my youngest son Jeffrey. Jeffrey this is Rain. Did I pronounce it right?" He looked between the newly named woman and me.
"More or less... It's nice to meet you Jeff?" I nodded, I only get called Jeffrey when I'm in trouble or with the whole formal thing. Not really my kind of thing. I like that she presumed it would I like Jeff, that's quite ballsy for someone who's just met you. She had walked across the room in the time it had taken me to put the glass of water down. Her hand extended and read to shake. Again the formality of it all is really not my kind of thing, but I willingly took and shook, smiling like a fool the whole time.
"I'm Rayne. Your dad and brother have been awesome. My car died down the road from here." I nodded my head as she spoke, "And your dad's came to my rescue." Her accent is so interesting; she's defiantly not from around here. Her whole look screams uniqueness, I couldn't help but admire her shes simply stunning. She must be about the same age as me her face fresh and her eyes accentuated by the makeup that she had applied. Grey eyes, now that was something I've never seen before, I wonder if they're contacts.
"He can be pretty handy at times." I chuckled as the memories of him fixing all the random crap we picked up whilst growing up flashed through my head. "So you're not from round here then?"
"Great work on figuring that one out Einstein!" Matt interjected, I guess he could see that I think there could be something between the two of us, and given that he helped 'save' her he probably called dibs already. Tearing my scowl for him, I looked back at Rayne, who didn't seem all that impressed by his interruption. Flashing a lop sided grin, made her smile again. Wow, maybe I should walk around with very little on every time I meet a woman. Has to be the reason she smiled back.
"Is it that obvious?" She looked slightly embarrassed that she hadn't been able to fool anyone, "maybe I should work on not killing my cars then no one would notice." She laughed, running her hand through her hair.
"It's the accent... It's hard to pinpoint..."
"Is it that bad? I thought It'd faded." She asked, embarrassment flashing across her face. The look, it felt like someone hit me, I just wanted to wrap my arms around her. That it something I couldn't do. Could I? No, that would be far to inappropriate.
"Not at all, it's for lack of a better word..." I moved slightly, so not to speak too loudly. "Sexy and rather intriguing." It came out just above a whisper. Light pink flushed her face as the word pooled from my mouth. "I hope you don't mind me saying that." I smiled at her once again, before returning to pick up my water. I noticed the look upon my families face as I moved. Matt looked pissed, where as my dad. He seemed somewhat smug, like a plan set into action.
"No, not at all. Thank you." I nodded at her, walking back to the stairs.
"I need sleep, so I'll be leaving you to it. It was nice meeting you." And with that I headed up stairs, to the safety of my room. Standing that close to her had a rather unexpected result. Maybe a cold shower first will make things better. Although I really do need some sleep, it might calm me down, but it will certainly wake me up.
"Rayne." Even her name sounds good as it rolls of my tongue. This woman, who I've known a whole of ten minutes, seems perfect. She's got to be about five eleven, not too much shorter than me. But from what I saw she had rock boots on which would give her a couple of inches. Her jeans hung loosely on her hips, showing the bottom of her stomach a tiny bit of red lace had been showing on her left side. She had a plain black top on that seemed to fit her perfectly; emphasising her chest in just the right way. Not flashing everything or leaving little to the imagination. The jacket she wore was a red and black patch cropped thing, which further accentuated her figure. Her raven hair flowed down her back. Everything about her seemed ideal; she was exactly what I wanted. I was infatuated and I barely knew her. She is the type of woman I could fall for proper.
I grunted as I buried my head in the pillow. Hoping that I'd get the opportunity to get to know everything about her. Or at least have some very interesting dreams.
It was that quick, that was the day my world started turning. From then on I went out of my way to impress her, to get to know her, to make her mine. Much to the chagrin of Matt. I'd been right in thinking he had 'called dibs', but hey the heart wants what it wants, and hers chose me.
Maybe I should go find Matt, he should be done with the taping, and I could do with the company. Sitting here and reminiscing isn't helping, regardless of how good the memories are.
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