(416): I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mum.

"Meet the Parents"

Scorpius only had a vague recollection of the past twenty four hours. He also knew only two things about his current whereabouts: that somebody had dreadful taste in music, and that the house smelt of raspberries.

Racking his brains, as he lay in the big double bed with his feet by the headboard, he tried to deduce his location. The last thing he remembered was clutching Rose's ankle in a drunken embrace as she Disapparated from somewhere large, bright and friendly – Albus Potter's house? That could mean he was at the Weasley household. There were both ups and downs to this discovery, because he'd received mixed receptions from this particular branch of the red headed family tree when entering their daughter's friend group. For example:

Con – Ronald Weasley, Rose's father, had a completely irrational dislike of him.

Pro – her mother, Hermione Weasley, was a keen philanthropist, a superior witch to most, and a very good conversationalist on topics he actually enjoyed discussing.

Con – Hugo liked to wear eye-liner, and (he assumed from the din next door) liked to listen to dreadful bands at full volume.

Pro – Rose still had his jacket, a pair of his sneakers, and one of his Quidditch gloves, which he could now steal back.

Of course, this was all only relevant should he be at Rose's house. Otherwise he had no idea where he was or what he was going to do when he wandered downstairs and ran into the house's inhabitants.

At least he was still dressed.

Smoothing the clothes as best he could, Scorpius Malfoy checked himself in the mirror before determinedly heading down to the kitchen, following the smell of raspberry muffins.

"Good morning Scorpius." Hermione said casually, sounding completely unsurprised at his presence in her house. "How's your head? There's Sober-Up above the oven if you want some."

"No, thanks." He answered, taken aback by her nonchalant comment. "I'm fine."

"That's good. Rosie often has a raging headache the next day." She pulled the oven open and prodded one of the delicious looking muffins, checking if it was ready. Deciding it was, she tugged them out and deposited them all on a cooling rack. "You'll be glad to know Ron isn't home. He would've had a fit coming home to see you in our bed."

She smirked at him when he blanched.

"Your… bed?"

"Don't worry, young Malfoy. I was at the Potters' last night, so it wasn't a problem." She placated him, patting him lightly on the shoulder as she passed him to sit at the table. "It might have given Ron a shock though, if he'd gotten home earlier than planned." She grinned evilly, sharing a conspiratorial look with the blond.

Scorpius' face went several shades paler just thinking about that chance.

"Anyway," Hermione continued, "speaking of the Potters, how much do you remember of last night?"

Scorpius guiltily looked over at her, grimacing as he replied, "Not a lot."

"Well, don't be surprised if Ginny is friendlier towards you next time you see he-"

"Oh my God! I seduced Harry Potter's WIFE?" Scorpius cried out in panicked voice, his hands flying to his face.

Hermione shot him an exasperated glare. "No! Of course not! You had a long chat, is all…"

"Praise Merlin." He murmured, sinking into a chair with obvious relief.

"After the three quarter of an hour shower you decided to take after eating most of the garlic bread."

"Wow…" Scorpius mumbled, unable to say anything else. "Wow. I'm going to stick to Butterbeer next time."

Any further comments were stalled by Rose's staggered entrance that began with a thump as she blindly swayed into the kitchen via the door frame, hands clamped over her eyes, groaning and bemoaning all and sundry as she dug out the Sober-Up from the cupboard.

With a big gulp she swallowed it, grimaced at the taste before employing a choice curse word, and then took a look around her, freezing as she realised her mother was standing right in front of her. With Scorpius.

"Morning." She said warily, smiling guiltily.

"Yes, good morning, Rose." Hermione replied. "I think I'll choose to ignore your language this once – last night was quite the party."

With an amused look at Scorpius she went to occupy herself in another room. Rose's eyes followed her out.

"What was that?" The red head asked, rounding on her friend in confusion bordering panic. "She- she just left it at that? She didn't even – what is going on? Did you-with-mum?" Her eyes were wide, and Scorpius realised suddenly what she meant by the garbled sentence.

"NO!" He denied vehemently, waving his arms as if to ward off the accusation. "I didn't do anything like that, I swear!"

"Oh, thank Merlin." She seemed to shrink with the relief. "What did she mean, about last night being 'quite the party'? What did you tell her about Al's?"

"I told nothing, she told me," Scorpius explained. "I apparently took a forty-five minute shower, and became best friends with his mum."

The snort that Rose deigned to give was about as ladylike as a tractor. Scorpius frowned in disdain. He hated when other people snorted. It was so vulgar.

"You're making a habit of this, you know." Rose commented idly, trying not to laugh in his face. "First, Mum, then Oliver Wood, now Ginny Potter. You've got a whole arsenal of friends in high places these days."

"Quiet, you." Scorpius roused half-heartedly. He couldn't really deny it though; he was slowly getting on first name terms with all his friend's parents. It wasn't his fault people loved him.

Rose smirked, and Scorpius thought she might well have known exactly what he'd just been thinking.