The World Hates Me
XXXXXXX
Finally the night is over. Aaron hardly spoke two words to me the whole night and I ignored Freddie. It was just weird. So basically I just sat there pretending to listen to Carly and the conversations, but I really just wanted everyone to leave. Now it's just me and Carly in her room.
"And he is so sweet and funny." I tune back into Carly ranting about Aaron. "I think he may actually like me. I couldn't tell at first, but I think the more we hang out… I don't know, maybe something could happen."
"Yeah" I respond. She sits on the bed by me.
"Okay what's going on in that brain of yours?" She asks.
"Nothing" I say.
"Sam, you have barely spoken all night." She says, "I know you better than that."
"Freddie just…. We…. Urrrgghhh…. Freddie and I got in a fight, kind of." I say.
"You two are always fighting." She says.
"I know" I say.
"If it's bugging you so much just talk to him. You two always work it out." She says.
"Yeah, I know we do." I say. Carly smiles and walks into her bathroom.
"But what if we don't?" I say to her through the bathroom door.
"I have never seen you so upset over a fight with Freddie before." She says back.
"You're right." I say, "What's wrong with me?" I hear Carly laugh. "I'm going to go find a snack, want anything?"
"I'm good." She says. I get up from the bed, I was about to leave the room when I heard Carly ask if I was still here.
"Yeah, what's up?" I say.
"I never did thank you for everything." She says.
"Everything?" I ask.
"With Aaron. I probably never would have had the guts to talk to him before you met him and starting inviting him over." She says.
"Yeah, no problem" I say. She doesn't catch the unhappiness in my voice when I say that. "You two must really be getting along. I mean if you talk about what happened and tell him about my mom not calling me and what not."
"What?" Carly says, "I never told Aaron your mom hasn't called you. Why would I do that?" Wait, what do you mean Carly never told him? That's what he said…..
"But I thought you mentioned it to him last night." I say.
"No. I would never tell someone that. That's your personal life Sam." She says. Carly never told him. I walk out of her bedroom. I'm not even hungry anymore. I need some air. I take the elevator down to the kitchen floor. What? I'm not walking down those stairs no matter how few there are. I walk and open the door. I almost jump a little when I open it because low and behold, Freddie Benson is standing there; hand in the air ready to knock.
"Oh hey" He says softly.
"Hey" I say. I step out in the hall and close the door behind me. "What are you doing?"
"I needed to tell you something." He says.
"What?"
"I apologized to Aaron. I don't think he will ignore you anymore." He says.
"Oh thanks" I say. He looks so upset or hurt… I don't know.
"Well, I'm sorry for everything." He says and turns back to his door. "Goodnight Sam." And with that he walks into his apartment, leaving me in the hall. I feel terrible. When did this get turned around on me? Why am I the one that gets left feeling bad? I have to apologize to him. I never should have yelled at him like that. God, this boy is going to be the death of me. I'm about to knock on his door when my phone rings.
"Yeah?" I answer the phone.
"Sam, where did you go? I came down to the kitchen and you weren't there. I'm in the studio now and you aren't here either. Where are you?" Carly asks on the other end.
"Oh sorry. I needed to get some air. I'm coming back in now." I say and walk back into her apartment.
"Okay. You going to sleep in my room tonight?" She asks. I know the question sounds weird, but I've been sleeping on the couch since I got back.
"Ummmm… yeah. I'll be right up." I say.
"I'll put in a movie." Carly says and hangs up. You gotta love your best friend.
XXXXXX
"Oops" I say and Carly bursts out laughing. We are making pancakes and I just tried to flip mine by tossing it in the pan. You know when you throw a pancake in the air and then catch it back in the pan, it looks easy, but as my pancake on the ground can tell you… it's not. We are both laughing now and having a good time. There is music playing and we really are acting like kids.
"My turn!" Carly says. She grabs the pan and starts her pancake.
"Morning guys." Spencer says, walking out from his room.
"Morning Spence." Carly says.
"Well, aren't you two having a fun time." He says.
"Yup, you want pancakes?" Carly asks. Just then Spencer steps on my pancake.
"Not if it looks like this one." He jokes and peels the smushed pancake off his foot. I laugh.
"I'll make some eggs too." Spencer says. There is a knock on the door and Freddie walks in.
"Good morning" He says.
"Hey" Carly says.
"Want some eggs?" Spencer asks.
"Sure" Freddie answers.
"So you kids have plans for today?" Spencer asks.
"I'm just going to be lazy and not move from that couch." I say.
"I invited Aaron over to work on that project for science class." Carly says.
"I didn't know that." I say.
"Yeah, I invited him last night."
"No, that we had a science project." I say. Everyone laughs.
XXXXXXX
"Hey Aaron." Carly says, letting him in the apartment.
"Hey." He says. I'm watching TV on the couch and Freddie is on the computer.
"I'm gonna go. My mom needs me to clean." Freddie says and walks past Carly and Aaron and out the door. Random… he has to be avoiding Aaron. That's really awkward.
"Well okay. Bye." Carly says. "Want something to drink?" She asks Aaron.
"Sure" He says. Carly walks into the kitchen. Aaron walks up to me.
"Hey Sam" He says.
"Hey" I say.
"So I just wanted to say that I shouldn't have gone off on you like I did last night." He says.
"It's okay" I say.
"No, it wasn't fair." He says. He takes a step closer to me and whispers in my ear, "And I like you Sam. I really like you." Okay, this honestly sent a shiver down my spine. He walks into the kitchen and starts talking to Carly. That was just too creepy. I turn my attention back to the TV….
"Sam, we are going to go work in the studio" Carly says. I look up and realize 30 minutes have passed.
"Yeah, okay." I say and they walk up the stairs. I sit and flip through channels for a bit then go to the fridge to get some juice. I'm on my way back to the couch when I see Aaron's backpack by the table. He probably needs that, right? I set down my juice and grab the backpack. Of course it's not zipped and all these papers fall out on the floor.
"Urrrgghh" I groan and kneel down and start gathering the papers. Something catches my eye; I grab the piece of paper. It has my name on it, my full name and my mom's name and Melanie's. What is this? I look at another piece. It's a list. A list of all my favorite bands and movies, all in Aaron's handwriting. I shuffle through the papers. Every piece is either a review of my top movies, or lists of songs from my favorite bands, or MMA fighters. My heart is racing as I look from paper to paper. I find a handwritten list… a list of me? It has what I was wearing each day, how I did my hair, and every conversation between Aaron and I. I'm going to be sick. Next, I see this printed out list of numbers… what is this? There are dates and times and…. Phone numbers? Wait, that's Carly's number and there is Freddie's too. Hold on that's my house number with the date and time next to it… I called my house at that exact time. These are the phone calls I made! Oh…my…. God… these are my phone records. This is how he knew my mom never called me! I shove all the papers back into the backpack and stand up. What do I do? I can't breathe. I run out of Carly's apartment and pound on Freddie's door. As soon as he opens it, I walk in and shut the door.
"Whoa there." He says, "What's going on?"
"You were right." I say.
"What?"
"About Aaron. You were right." I say. My mind is spinning and I think Freddie can tell, I can read it on his face.
"What happened?" He asks.
"His backpack is filled with papers about me. My favorite bands, movies, food. There are lists of what I wore each day and our conversations. My address, phone number, my full name, my family's names! And a copy of my phone record, which is how he found out my mom hasn't called me." I'm out of breath, "I'm freaking out, Freddie." I'm pacing back and forth. I can't have this right now… does someone in the world hate me? Is that it? The whole world must be against me.
"Sam. Sam, calm down." Freddie says, "it's okay."
"No it's not Freddie! It is so far from okay." I snap at him. Crap…. I'm going to cry. I can feel it. No, no, don't you dare cry Sam! I'm just so freaked and frustrated. All my emotions are going nuts.
"Just breathe Sam. You are not helping yourself by freaking out. It will be okay." He says. Tears are filling up in my eyes. Crap. Just hold them in…. too late. Tears start streaming down my face. Freddie brings me into a hug. Then I stop holding back the tears. And yes this is now the second time I have cried in front of Freddie.
"I can't do this" I sob.
"I'll take care of this. I can go get some of the papers and tell Spencer and my mom, we can get a restraining order or something. It will be okay." He says holding me.
"Okay." I say. I wipe my eyes and look at him. "I'm sorry"
"I know" He says, "We should go get the papers and you can stay here until Aaron leaves, and then we will tell Carly." I just nod and try to gather myself. Freddie and I walk out his door and into Carly's apartment.
"It's right by the kitchen tab_" I stop midsentence and look, the bag is gone. Freddie and I exchange worried glances. You have to be kidding me.