A/N- Update! This chapter kicked my ass. Didn't like anything I wrote down. This is probably the millionth time I've tried, so I hope you like it lovelies.

Also thanks to my first friend I ever made on this god forsaken site Chynnadoll36. Without her this fic would probably be a no go.

Read on!

EPOV

Work, it was all I seemed to care about these days. I just needed to see her she was like a drug to me. I needed and craved her. I probably shouldn't have wanted to see her this badly. This infatuation had gone too far. I hated myself every time I had to remind myself that I loved Bella every time I looked into Tanya's eyes. I was repulsed with myself. I hated looking in the mirror and seeing a confused man in the reflection.

Yet I couldn't stop it. Like a drug. You wanted to quit so badly, but you can't. It grabs a hold of you and doesn't want to let go. I sure as hell wanted to quit Tanya. No matter how much I tried to avoid her I always found myself wandering closer to her. She just made me feel different. Alive. She made me feel like I was a teenager again.

The countless banter we would have about the stupidest things. Like the weather. It seems like it could be such a boring conversation. Not with Tanya. She made everything exciting.

When she threw herself at me at dinner almost a month ago I hated her. How dare she come into my home and try to seduce me while my wife was in the kitchen. The next day at work I avoided her like the plague. It wasn't until she bumped into me at the end of the day that I decided to have some type of interaction with her. We ended up getting coffee and talking for two hours. Bella wasn't pleased. That was the first lie I told Bella our whole relationship. And it wouldn't be the last. I told her I went and got coffee with my friend Paul. I felt horrid, but I couldn't stop. I knew if I wanted to keep seeing Tanya I would have to lie to Bella more frequently.

Bet you can't come to understand how can a man do this to the women he loves? The answer is simple; lust. One of the seven deadly sins and deadly it was. Lust. It's funny how it can ruin relationships. Just because you want something doesn't mean you have to take it. Forbidden fruit is said to taste sweeter, but often it spoils faster.

Lust, lust that's all it is.

That's what I'd been telling myself for the last month. It seemed like I was beginning to like her more and more. She was like that candy I couldn't have as a child, but I would sneak it anyway.

I noticed we were getting more touchy feely with each other. In conversations she would touch my thigh if we were sitting next to each other. Or if we were across from one another she would touch my hands. I would find myself tucking hair behind her ear. Just simple touches I know soon would become not so simple touches.

Just by thinking about her I would instantly get hard. Thinking about her sexy body, full breasts and luscious lips nearly made mecum in my pants. She was truly perfection. I was obsessed with way she looked.

Secretly I found myself wishing I had met her first.

Bella and I hadn't had sex since the day I met Tanya. I couldn't in fear I would say the wrong name on accident. She had tried on multiple occasions to initiate sex, but I would come up with some lame excuse not to. It normally consisted of me telling some lie being exhausted from work. The truth was Tanya was the star in my fantasies and I knew I would be wishing it was her writhing underneath me instead of my wife.

In almost every fantasy I would cum when I thought of her eyes. They were so full of life and passion. They were the prettiest shade of blue. They rivaled Bella's chocolate brown eyes that used to be my favorite color.

Blue was clouding my thoughts. Blonde hair was what I wanted to see splayed across my chest in the mornings. This was all surreal. Two months ago I was completely satisfied with my life. I had the perfect wife. The perfect house. Perfect job. Everything was perfect til she had to come and ruin it all.

The saying goes it's a thin line between love and hate. I wonder what they would say abouthate and lust because that was what I'd felt for this woman. I hated her because of the obvious reason and I also lusted for her in the most obvious reason. Any man would lust after her. Married or not. I lusted for her and I was married.

But often I found myself wishing I weren't married. Just so I could have a few sexcapades with her. It was sick to think I would throw away my marriage for a few good fucks, but I found myself wanting it more and more each day. It was a crazy craving.

I craved her like I used to crave cigarettes. I find myself lying in bed just thinking about what the next day would bring. Days off really sucked. I found myself withdrawing with each day I didn't see her.

I was dreading my vacation with Bella that was coming up in the next month. Now I wished I would have just settled with what Bella had wanted in the first place. Us just staying home together, and bonding. If I would have agreed to that I could have met up with Tanya at least twice during my two week long vacay. Once a week. It would satisfy this thirst long enough.

If only I would have met her sooner.

I was pulled out of my reverie by the buzzing of my phone.

Meet me for dinner at my place tonight.

Xoxo-Tanya.

I replied with:

Sure thing. I'll tell Bella that I'm going with Paul. You'll be the death of me. I swear.

Edward.

I felt a reply almost instantly.

Sorry: / but I need my Edward too,

xoxo-Tanya

She needed me. That right there made my heart and cock swell.

I replied with something simple.

Can't wait to see you.

Edward.

I never got a reply.

A/N 2- This Edward will probably be one of the easiest Edwards to hate. Bear with me though. He will redeem himself. I swear. He's a good guy.

A review or two would be nice.

-Ash.