It's so hard to describe what your thinking at such an important moment in time. This was not what I was imagining in my head for a reunion. I'm sitting next to my mum who's crying because she is drunk and has just told my dad of my existence. My dad is about to serve me a drink. Wait, my dad is a bar tender, oh my life.
Baze suddenly interrupts my trail of thought, 'sorry about this, can you excuse me?' he doesn't wait for my reply as he goes to Cate who is still hyperventilating 'what do you mean we have a kid? I asked you to get rid of it!' now that makes me feel a lot better. So my dad didn't want me. Its like my whole world is crashing down. Why didn't she just get rid of it? I didn't want to go though. I needed to find out. I gotta know why I'm in existence if no-one wants me. Then I can go back to Tasha and Bug and they can go 'I told you so' and it'll all be okay again.
'How could I just "get rid of it". Its not like I would ever want to get rid of a child. I was sixteen, I didn't want to get rid of a child. She was... She is my child. Why did I give her away when it's killed me ever since? I did it for her, I wanted her to have a better life, but look where it's got me? I've tried to carry on, but I can't. I need her, I need to say I'm sorry. I need to be her mom.' cate couldn't carry on. It was heartbreaking. She wants me, even if my Dad doesn't. I really didn't know what to say. What to do. What to think. My mom wants me.
Baze ignores her and he turns his attention to me, 'Sorry about her, she seems in such a mess right now. I haven't even seen her since high school. Anyway, you don't look like you come from around here, what do you want to drink?'
'Seems a bit early so I'll have a coke' I reply. He goes and gets a can and then I realise a flaw - I don't have any money with me. I wait till he comes back and he says 'no, this ones on me as an apology'. He seems such a gentleman. A gentleman who doesn't want a kid. Mind you, who would want a kid at my age. I can understand that, but I don't know, does he still want me. I have to try and make more conversation with him.
'So, your names Baze. What a... Weird name,' I say whilst sipping my drink. There was almost an eery atmosphere, but I still wasn't ready to leave. It was almost like I wasn't allowed to go until I said who I am. I wasn't ready. There was so much tension in this room. Cate wasn't speaking any longer, she was just staring into space, almost praying. Possibly just getting through her head what had happened.
'Yeah, nickname. Names Nathaniel, see why I have a nickname,' I nod, agreeing with him Didn't catch yours though,' Baze replys. You can tell that he's just making conversation because of Cate's behaviour, but I made my announcement.
'Oh yeah. Sorry. Um. I'm um. Well I'm Lux, Lux Cassidy,' and Cate's head pops up and Baze goes white. I can't believe I've just said it. It was too early, or too late. It was the wrong time. I knew it. Cate turns around, puts her hands on my face, staring. Her breath is full of alcohol. She's drunk. I don't want drunk mother. I've had enough of those in my lifetime. So many foster mothers who were drunk, not to mention drunken fathers. That's the reason I left to find Cate and Baze in the first place.
'You mean... You mean, you're her. My baby?' cate says. Her eyes locking into mine. I pull away from her. It's too much. I run. I run out of the bar. I can't do it. I can only do what I do best: run. I see the eyes from my parents staring at the back of my head. But I run.
Please review? Tell me how bad the chapter was please. Just watched latest episode of season 2, oh my god! I cried. LUX! Please review! If I don't update again, have a very merry Christmas. You deserve it! You can have some cyber cookies from me :)