Expectations of Approval
Chapter Twenty-six: Hapless
Fred has been standing outsides his brother Bill's room for two hours with the wall as his only support. Anne has been waiting with him, she has calmed down a good deal from how she had been before. Though she has not said anything since she had put Oliver's death on Fred's conscious.
She is sitting on a very randomly placed bench close to Bills room. Minutes ago a janitor had come out of Bill's room to tell them they could go in again but not to go passed the marker they had just set up, for their own safety.
So far Fred as counted 35 healer and 10 janitors since Percy and the mob of healers left. It is a busy place, the research center.
Fred doesn't want to go into Bill's room. He doesn't understand what's happening. He also can't get Percy's angry voice and face out of his head.
"I'm sorry" Anne says from her spot on the bench. Fred looks over at her.
"You over reacted"
Anne looks over at Fred. "No, you deserved what you got, just not the last part . . . "
She looks forward then. "But if something happens to Oliver it's not your fault, it was an accident. It's no ones fault. After all you were just angry with Percy not Oliver and Oliver, well he wont stand for it. He's very protective of Percy. I've always known that practically all of Hogwarts knows that too,"
She faces Fred and smiles sadly, as her curly hair tumbles down around her face, she looks pale and very tired. To Fred she looks like a heroine from a tragic fairly tale.
They both look away.
"You know, Oliver and I have been friends for around 8 years, for those 8 years I have loved him, but for around 7 years I had been in love with him. He has been the center of my life for so long . . . but that's not why you deserved any of that. It's just why I blamed you" Anne tells Fred as she continues to look forward, at room 2446.
Fred looks down at his shoes and bits his lip. She senses his movements and shakes her head. "Don't mean to make you feel guilty, I just felt like telling you . . . there is more you know, and that actually matters"
Fred nods his understanding.
Anne continues "Until now I would have never let anyone else near him willingly. I know it's not my choice but I've had a hard time accepting it. That's why I . . . I mean if it had to be anyone else but me, I couldn't have let it be anyone but Percy"
At that Fred pulls away from the wall and stares down at Anne. Anne chuckles and continues, ignoring Fred's obvious but unvoiced question. "You want to know why? It's not because he's so book smart, gorgeous, or a great actor and still a bad liar but because no one could need and want Oliver as desperately as Percy does. I can trust Percy that much. I mean his so flawed, weak, moronic and self-destructive. Such a mess but still his very kind, determined and so unflinchingly loyal. I can't tell you how many times Percy had to defend your- his family from Oliver. It caused so many fights, I've lost count-"
"Wait, why would Percy need to defend us from Oliver?"
Annes shrugs "As people he adored you all, but he also hated everyone of you. He still hates you. But really I think it's more jealousy, a resentment, because Percy is so obedient- dependent on pleasing your parents, no pleasing your whole family and the extremes Percy would go to keep you all safe and happy made him feel insignificant to Percy. He really is so desperate . . . but your family just doesn't notice or care. You treated him like carp and he would still defend you. It would- it does drive Oliver wild" Anne laughs without humor. "You know the only reason he's a healer is because Oliver forced Percy to give his dream job a shot. And I? I had my parent's secretly pay for all his expenses because he would not even think of asking y-his parents to waist any more money on him. Because Fred and George are always up to something, and Ginny she just starting Hogwarts. Oliver told me that the reason Percy even started to healing was to be able to heal his younger brothers, the ones that are always getting into trouble or hurt"
Anne's voice is harsh and her breathing irregular. She stops talking to steady herself, Fred doesn't say anything, just bites his lips. He looks forward towards his brother's room, 2445.
"Do you have any idea how prefect they look together?" Anne shakes her head, a rueful look in her eyes. "So when I saw them together, I was more than just insanely jealous. So jealous, I was always getting in their way just because together they looked too perfectly made for each other it hurt. Because I knew, I know I could never get between them" Anne's voice cracks.
Fred looks at Anne then. She's sitting on the bench, legs to her chest, with her arms wrapped around her knees, dark chocolate curls covering her face and exposing her trembling narrow shoulders. Fred lifts his hand to grab Anne's shoulder but she sobs and he lets his hand fall. Instead Fred sits down next to her. She looks at him then, her checks red, eyes watery, but in not too long she schools her features, she calms.
"At the start of this year, my last year at Hogwarts, I decided I'd step aside, not get in their way and let things happen as they would. I had just gotten so tried of myself, started to feel like a real bitch. Because I really was such a bitch, but your brothers are a handful . . . because the next thing I know Percy goes of gallivanting, well not really. You cant call shutting yourself off from the world to research a cure gallivanting. No, he just disappears from Oliver's life, too busy trying to save Bill to write to Oliver or return to Hogwarts, refusing to."
Anne begins to tremble. Fred hesitates for a moment but then puts an arm around Anne's shoulders. She stops trembling, stiffening at his closeness. For a while neither moves, then Anne relaxes into Fred laying her head on his shoulder.
"I really wanted to beat some senses into him, but he wont listen to me, too much bad history you see. . . " Anne buries her head into the crock of Fred's neck. He can feel her breath on his skin, he can also feel her tears. "Today, today I would bring Oliver here so her could tell Percy how he feels about him. I didn't do it to redeem myself, but because if I didn't they'd never move forward, even though they both love each other, they're both so helpless. . . no, so hapless. Yes, Percy really is hapless"
"He isn't like that Anne"
"He is, you just haven't noticed yet, you will." Anne shakes her head, and moves to look up at Fred. "Really a jumble of flaws that look good, but nowhere near perfect and that's what made him so charming to everyone at Hogwarts. I know it wasn't because of Oliver, all he wanted to do was monopolize Percy, and I wanted to make him look bad. It wasn't because of us."
Fred stares at Anne. She looks away. "I really am sorry for saying that, about Oliver dying, It was an accident"
Fred looks away, and nodes. "Yeah, I know you over reacted with, beating me up"
Anne glares at Fred. "I didn't you deserved that-"
"No, Oliver's going to be fine. He isn't going to die. Sure he'll look freaky for a while but-"
Anne slaps Fred up side the head. "I can't believe it,You have no idea how serious this is." Anne sighs. "So you don't even know just how much danger Percy puts himself in everyday by working here?"
Fred just stare, dazed.
"Fred, Bill was really lucky, more than that. Saying he was lucky is a hugh and gross understatement. It's a miracle his still alive. He is the second, of all of the pure blood wizards that have been infect to develop traits, those things you said that make him look like a freak are what's keeping him alive. Don't think it's a family thing either, the first pure blood wizard lost his sister to this virus, about 2 years ago. It works fast Fred, the girl Bill was brought in with, his coworker, she was a pure blood. She died late october, after your infected and no traits appear it's a matter of months"
"But it was only water and Oliver isn't a pure blood" Fred tells her.
"No, but his blood isn't that diluted either. For people like him, it's still more likely that he won't develop traits" Anne says out loud, but she isn't talking to Fred anymore, just to herself. "Even the half bloods, like Hiiro, Bill's old janitor who died last month because he couldn't develop traits after Bill accidently infected him. No one knew his water could do that then. That it could happen like that. Now only muggles can be janitors here . . ."
Fred stares at Anne as she mumbles all of this to herself, her eyes water and she buries her head in her knees again. Fred's head is spinning, not able to process everything, not able to accept it. Percy's angry face and voice flood his mind and now he understands why Percy had been like that. And Bill . . . words and reaction, because it's happened before and it's only been a month since . . . Hiiro the janitor . . .
"Shite, Merlin!Fucking . . . I'm sorry Fred." Anne says when she realizes what she just did. She warps her arms around him. "Just remember it's not your fault, it's not your fault"
Fred buries his face in Anne's hair and lets out a sob.
A/n: Yay, I made it on time, and it's pretty long, just like I promised. R?R!