i don't own the song used

Monday

"Hey budddy", Admetus said and sat down beside Asp that was lounging in the sun. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine", Asp said calmly. "I'm used to this life a bit at least."

"Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Of course I am, you doubt me?"

"No, not at all. It's just…" He trailed off. Asp opened his eyes and looked up.

"It's just what", he asked.

"Well you see… uhm… look", Admetus turned towards him. "You don't have it in you to be a stray."

"I can fight if I must, I can hunt better than most housecats and I have thick fur" Asp growled. "What more is there to be able to do?"

"Can you swim?"

Asp stared at him. "Cats can't swim!" He yelled.

"Strays can", Admetus said. "Look there's two types of cats out there those who seize the days and those who are scared."

"What?"

Admetus grabbed his arm and pulled Asp up a junk pile that was overlooking the clearing.

"Okay", Asp asked annoyed. "What are we doing here?"

"We are doing a socital catasification."

"Don't you mean social classification?"

"Same same but different."

"Right…"

"Right as rain."

Asp glared at him. "Have I told you you're crazy?"

"That's the first time today", Ad went own. "Now focus!" Asp rolled his eyes and looked down at the Jellicles in the clearing. He saw Jenny, Jelly, Skimble and Gus talk by TSE 1. Alonzo was talking to Exotica, Tantomile and Coricopat. The tom kittens were playing while the queen kits were fawning over Tugger. The other queens of the tribe were sitting together on the tire gossiping about something. And Jerrie and Teazer was watching Mistofelees practicing a trick. Bustopher Jones arrived then too so almost everyone was there now and Munkustrap was on the pile across of them keeping an eye out for anything dangerous.

"See that", Admetus said and pointed to queens that were gossiping. "That's the queen elite of this yard."

"Queen elite", Asp asked.

"Yeah. Demeter, Bomba and Cassandra, Victoria is in that group too even though she's still a kitten. They are aka the hottest queens in the yard."

"You agree to that?"

"Well… not really I have my eyes on someone else. Now See the older cats talking with Bustopher Jones?"

"Yes…"

"They're the wise elders that we all love and respect."

"Right."

"Right as rain."

"Will you stop that?"

"No. Anyway Tugger is the playboy no doubt in that and those queen kits are his fan club. The tom kits are the innocent fun-loving bunch, though Plato is outgrowing it. Now Munkustrap and Alonzo are the protecting type. Then we have the magician and notorious thieves, the mystical twins and the mysterious queen."

"Admetus", Asp groaned. "This doesn't make sense!"

"Huh?"

"Before you said… and I quote: 'Look there's two types of cats out there those who seize the days and those who are scared'."

"I said… well I meant that there are two teams in our yard and it all comes of one thing!"

Asp looked at him feeling like his best friend was an idiot. But when Admetus didn't stop look at him he groaned.

"Okay", he said. "What is it?"

"Something you just lost", Admetus said with a grin.

Asp touched his neck where the collar had used to been.

"Exactly", Admetus went on oblivious to his friend's sadness. "You see there are different classes among the housecats too. Bustopher Jones, Cassandra, Mistofelees, Quaxo and Victoria are one kind and the rest is the other." Asp didn't answer. "But the street cats/alley cats/strays/savages are all one big family."

Asp looked at the groups and noticed something.

"Tugger acts like he belongs to the finer group", he said softly.

"AHA!" Admetus exclaimed. "I knew you'd catch on! You see Tugger tries to act like an aristocat."

"A what", Asp asked tiredly.

"But Asp my dear", Ad said in fake horror. "You don't know?"

"No."

Admetus jumped down the pile pulling Asp with him and when they hit the ground Admetus started singing:

Which pet's address
Is the finest in Paris?
Which pet possess
The longest pedigree?
Which pets get to sleep
On velvet mats?
Naturalment! The aristocats! - Everyone was looking at him oddly and Ad ran up to Cassandra who now stood beside Victoria. He put his arms around their shoulders.

Ad: Which pets are blessed
With the fairest forms and faces?
Which pets know best
All the gentle social graces?
Which pets live
On cream and loving pats?
Naturalment! The aristocats! – Cassandra pushed him away in an annoyed huff and tried to make her sleek fur even sleeker. Ad then walked up to Bustopher and sang to him:

They show aristocratic bearing
When they're seen
Upon an airing
And aristocratic flair
In what they do
And what they say!

Aristocats are never found
In alleyways or hanging around
The garbage cans where
Common kitties play, oh no - Bustopher chuckled and Ad walked over to Misto and Quaxo.

Ad: Which pets are known
To never show their claws? – "Only magic", Quaxo said innocently and Misto bopped him on the head.
Which pets are prone
To hardly any flaws?
To which pets do the others
Tip their hats?
Naturalment! The aristocats!

They show aristocratic bearing
When they're seen
Upon an airing
And aristocratic flair
In what they do
And what they say!

Aristocats are never found
In alleyways or hanging around
The garbage cans where
Common kitties play, oh no

Naturalment! Naturalment!
Oh, naturalment!
The Aristocats! - Ad had since Bustopher pulled Asp around the clearing while singing and had now pulled him on top of the tire. He grinned at Asp.

"So?" he asked. "Do you get it?"

"No", Asp growled.

"B-but I explained it like-"

"Like an idiot!" Asp yelled at him. "You think you know everything that happens around you but this might come as a surprise to you." He was now in Ad's face. "But. You. DON'T!" With each word he prodded Ad in the chest. When he was done he jumped off of the tire and stalked away from the clearing leaving confused and worried cats behind him.

TBC