I Feel Betrayed
Part 4
by Trycee
Timeline: Season 8 between episodes after Dead Alive, starting from Three Words and ending before Vienen when Mulder makes a simple statement of acknowledgement of the baby.
Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Files, it is owned by Chris Carter. This is written for fun not profit.
I stood up from the table and walked over to the door again, my hand poised on the knob but her cries stopped me from entering. Once again I had caused Scully pain and I wasn't sure how I would fix it this time. Instead of barging back in, I decided to give her some space and so I opened the spare room door. It was still filled with a bed I'd slept in on more than one occasion, I knew there had to be a few things of mine stored away there like clothes...I looked around and sure enough I found a few of my t-shirts on the bed as if she'd slept there recently. Maybe this was where she took her naps, I knew that pregnant women often took naps but beyond that, I didn't know much. I looked into the closest, there were a few baby items but not many, not even a crib that needed to be assembled. I knew that she nor her mother could lift something like that. Maybe the reason she hadn't bought one was because I hadn't been there to help her, I thought guiltily. If I could change the past I would, Scully, I thought to myself. But I will be here for you and the baby.
I spotted something in the bag and I could see from the receipt that it was bought recently since I returned from the dead. It was a tiny baby bib with the words, "Mommy's Angel and Daddy's Headache" on it. I touched it and smiled as a few stray tears fell down my face. I looked at it one last time and then put it away. I turned to look back at the room and I knew what I would be working on. It was my duty as the DAD. I left the words sink in a little further...I was going to be a DAD and that seemed so unreal. I always wanted to be...It was always my fantasy to have Scully bare my child but it was something that had been shot down over two years ago and I had resigned myself to never thinking about it again. But now, our little miracle was gonna happen in less than two months...Whoa.
I closed the door back and returned to the table. I got online and messaged the boys that I needed to tweak Plan B. They replied that they'd already figured that and had already started working on Plan B. I needed to make sure Scully and the baby were well cared for and that the baby was added to all of my plans. An hour had gone by and I was engrossed in pregnancy information when I heard the bedroom door open and Scully came out and was startled when she saw me sitting at the table. "Mulder!", she said, with a jump. "I told you to get out."
I could tell from her voice that she was tired and that she had cried herself to sleep and had just woken up. I stood up and grabbed for her hand but she snatched it away and gave me a cold stare. I knew I deserved it.
"Scully, we need to talk...and I'm not leaving until we do!"
Her shoulders sunk down a little and she grabbed an apple out of the fridge along with a bottle of water and then sat down across from me leaving an empty chair in between us. I sat back down as well and stared over to her trying to figure out what I wanted to say. "Scully, I'm so sorry...I...", I said, looking at her with desperation in my eyes. "I wish you could understand from my point of view...It felt like a day had passed for me, Scully...nothing more...Like some bad special effects version of the Time Machine..."
Great, I'm using old movies to convey my feelings to the one woman in the world I can't live without. Scully raises an eyebrow but she says nothing so I continue. "I knew it wasn't love, Scully...I knew you still loved me...but I thought maybe since you lost me, you tried IVF again or you were taken advantage of in your time of need or...It happens, you know. Grief...there's statistics that show that there are men that take advantage of women at funerals..."
She looks at me coldly. "So now you think I was so distraught that I fell for someone's affections towards me?", she said with her mouth gaped open.
I'm sinking fast. "NO, no...", I said, twisting my mouth. The more I tried to explain the more I was shooting myself in the foot. "Look...I'm sorry, Scully...I don't think you'll ever know how much! I woke up to you thinking that nothing had changed and then to find you pregnant and that I had been gone for six months...I was just...I...didn't think it could be mine...and I was wrong for that."
She was all cried out, I could tell. Her eyes were puffy and she had a distant look in her eyes.
"How can I explain what it was like?", I sighed.
"I think I understand a little," she said in a small voice.
"You do?", I said, surprised.
"Yes," she nodded. "I was abducted too, Mulder...I was gone for three months too, as you know. When I came back I was heavier, with larger breasts..."
"I remember!", I said a little too eagerly.
She frowned at me and I silently cursed myself again. SHUT UP MULDER!
"Then when I found out Emily was mine," she said, looking down at her hands resting on the table. "It was like I was in a dream world for a very long time after that."
I nodded. "That's exactly how I felt...I'll take the blame for it all, Scully, everything! But to be fair...you didn't tell me either...Its been three days..."
She looked up at me surprised and then her eyes darted down. "I know now I should have just told you but when you said you were happy for me and that you didn't know where you fit in," she said, glancing back up at me. "I thought it was my mistake to think you would want to be in the baby's life."
"Not just the baby's life," I said.
We sat in silence for a few moments and then she said something so quietly I almost couldn't hear her. "I need time, Mulder," she said. "My feelings...I'm still hurt..."
I nodded again. I was good at that, hurting her. I needed to change the subject and fast. "I noticed there wasn't much as far as baby things..."
She looked up at me and then leaned back in her seat. "I'm having a baby shower soon...My mother's ideal."
"I'll take care of the room...I'll take the bed down and paint it and buy the crib...Just pick it out and I'll take care of the rest..."
She looked at me hard. "You don't have any money right now, Mulder...You had all of your money given to me...Don't worry I haven't touched it."
"Why not?", I said. "It was meant for you...You are my benefactor, Scully."
"I'll return it to you," she said, twirling the apple around on the table.
"No," I said, shaking my head. "Scully...You and the baby are my responsibility...I'm gonna take care of you."
I could see the hurt still registered in her eyes. I continued trying to reach her, let her know that I would be there, I would. "I've already put Plan B into place...The guys are working on it."
"Plan B?"
"My parents left me quite a sum, Scully. I broke the money up to be issued to you in increments."
Her blue eyes bulged for a second but then it dissipated. "That's not..."
"Yes it is," I said firmly. "I know your hurt right now, Scully, and this may be your baby right now but once its born it's our baby...You understand?"
She looked at me and our eyes locked and she knew then that I would not relent on this. She nodded her head and looked down.
"What did you say about who the father is at work?", I was curious.
She looked up and a slight smile graced her lips for a split second. "I didn't say...but I'm pretty sure with all the rumors..."
"The ones that ended up being true!", I smiled.
"Yeah," she said, keeping her eyes glued to her hands. "I'm sure Skinner knows but he never asked me..."
"What about this Agent Doggett?"
She glanced up at me and I saw the hurt return to her eyes. "He never asked...he only asked why I didn't tell him I was pregnant...I wanted to keep it a secret for as long as possible...I still want some things kept a secret."
"Like what?"
Scully looked at me then. "I'm afraid if they find out that I am pregnant by my partner that they'll use it against us."
"Scully, they've had bets on us for years before we even knew we liked each other, let alone that we were in love with each other..."
"Mulder, we were partners...They're already trying to push you out of the X-Files and if they find out that your the father, they could take me off of it as well...and right now I'm the only one that is connected to it and dedicated to it the way you were..."
I knew it to be true but I didn't think her interest in the X-Files would last longer than just a few weeks, not after the baby came. "So, you want me to pretend I'm not the dad?"
She could see the hurt in my eyes, I felt crushed but I knew she was the one still working on the X-Files and I needed her to be there if we were ever to get any answers. She was now my only link.
"We know the truth," she said, quietly.
'Yeah we do...", I said, looking down.
"Just for a little while," she said, her eyes swollen and sad. "It's no one elses business, Mulder, but our own."
"I can do that," I sighed. "But not forever, Scully."
"Okay," she said quietly. "I think the baby's hungry...", she said, leaving the apple on the table and glancing into the fridge. "I've been craving lasagna and pizza," she said, glancing over to me.
"The pizza is just like me...", I smiled and looked over to her.
She was standing by the fridge and I stood up and tried to hold her in my arms but she was rigid and resisted at first but then I felt her relax in my arms for a split second. Her stomach was hard and I could feel a slight kick against my side and then she pulled away. "I need time, Mulder...", she said, with a tear in her eye.
"Okay," I said, backing up. "What do you think were having, Scully?"
I saw a bright sparkle in her eye at my mentioning of 'we'.
"It feels like a boy to me," she said with a slight smile creeping into the corners of her mouth. "But, I won't know for sure...until..."
"Right...", I nodded. "You want me to go pick up the food?", I said, trying very hard as hard as I could at this point.
"That's okay," she said, as she picked up the phone. "I'm craving lasagna...besides, I can't let Franco miss an opportunity to hit on me..."
I knew it was a joke, a sly Scully-joke but I just looked at her for a few minutes. She looked up at me innocently but she saw I didn't take it the way she intended but I quickly smiled down at her. "You are beautiful," I said.
She didn't smile instead she picked up the phone and dialed the number. She ordered enough for us both, I noticed, along with salad and bread sticks. I didn't like the way she was laughing with Franco...Who the hell was this Franco guy anyway? I'm sure I'd find out the minute the food was brought back. When she hung up the phone, she noticed I was still standing as if my feet were stuck in place to the floor. "You...You want me to run you up to..."
"The Italian deli up the street," she said. "No, I'll catch a cab...it's not a problem..."
"But my car is right outside..."
"No...its a quick trip," she said, putting her coat on and grabbing for her purse.
She came back to the table and gathered the house keys. She looked at the front door and then to the back door in the kitchen.
"You need help with the stairs?", I said, trying to be helpful.
"No," she shrugged.
"Would the side door be easier?", I said, already heading to open it but I noticed she didn't follow me.
"I haven't used that door since my dad died," she said, looking up at me.
I nodded and then saw her turn towards the front door. "I'm having a little trouble with the steps," she said quietly.
"I can help you, Scully..."
"No," she said, shaking her head. "I'll take the side door in the lobby. No steps...", she smiled quickly. "I'll be back in a second...", she said, walking out and not looking back.
I sat back down and sat there a moment thinking back over to what had just happened between us. I knew I needed to fix this. I understood her reasons for us keeping my identity as the father a secret but it still hurt a little. But then again, she was dealing with this for six months without me and so I just needed to tow the line. I sat back at the table and not five minutes later, she came back in a little startled, looking upset.
"Scully, what are you doing back? Did something just happen?", I ask.
She looks at me and I see a tear in her eye and she fidgets for a second. "I'm, um... I'm not exactly sure I should tell you, Mulder."
I know then that its information. She somehow just got information. "Scully, if you know something that can get us moving forward again, you need to tell me."
I see her eyes are watery and her face is flushed as if she's afraid for me. She just stands there a moment and I approach her. "Tell me, Scully!", I demand. "
Agent Doggett...", she began. "He knows the code...Three words...Fight the Future."
"Well good, let's go," I say, reaching for my coat.
"Mulder!", she says and I stop in my tracks. "They could kill you," she says quietly. "Or put you in prison...Do you think this is the right thing to do, right now?", she says, touching her stomach.
I'm torn...I was just given some vital information but I know she is afraid, afraid that she just got me back and then I'll put myself in danger leaving her alone again to raise the baby. "Come with me," I tell her, looking down into her moist eyes.
"No," she says, shaking her head.
"Please...", I beg. "I'll have the Gunmen get me in and this way your not sitting here worrying about me..."
I know she'll worry anyway but I don't mention it. "Please Scully..."
"We have a child to think of," she said, closing her eyes.
"I won't do anything stupid, Scully...And I won't pull you into anything else I promise...but I really could use your help..."
I'm relentless, Scully knows this. And as cocky as it sounds, Scully has never refused me though there are times she should have. But I know I was being selfish, but I just needed her with me...I needed her near. She nodded her head and I called the guys telling them to 'lace up' and they knew exactly what that meant. While I was on the phone, I didn't notice that Scully was on her cell phone as well calling Skinner. We walked out and I drove us to a spot where we met up with the Gunmen. Our destination was Crystal City, Virginia for the FSC Building, the Federal Statistics Center, to break in and see what was the secret the government would kill for.
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