If Eric was the best at anything, it was at lying. God, he was a good liar. He was especially good at lying to himself.
Eric told himself that he didn't care about anyone. He had learned early in life that he had to look out for himself, and never rely on anyone else. People were just pawns in the game of life that he tried to use to his advantage. Whenever he became aware that he was getting too attached to a particular person, he would do something to push them away. Eric would rather hurt others than to get hurt himself. What did it matter, anyway? They could all die for all he cared. At least, that was what he told himself.
Although he had tried as hard as possible, he still knew if Stan or Kenny suddenly disappeared from his life, he would be at least remotely upset. He had spent too much time with them to not feel the loss. And Kyle… well, he hated that good for nothing Jew, but he had gotten used to their rivalry. His greatest desire was to best the other boy, to get him to surrender, to finally beat him into submission. Whenever Kyle wasn't there, Eric felt as if a void was left in his place. South Park didn't feel right without Kyle there. No one fought back like Kyle did. Eric respected this, even though he hated everything Kyle stood for.
And if someone hurt Kyle? Well… he would kill the son of a bitch.
But it wasn't like he cared for the kike. Eric knew that if Kyle had the chance, he'd backstab him without a second thought. There was no love between them. It was just his job to hurt Kyle.
Yes, Eric Cartman was good at lying. He even had himself completely fooled.
"Morning."
Cartman almost jumped when he heard the foreign voice. His head snapped to look at Kenny, gaping. He hadn't heard Kenny's un-muffled voice since elementary school, and it had certainly changed since then.
Stan was also gaping at Kenny, bewildered. "Shit, not you too!"
Kenny shrugged, grinning at both of them cheekily. He was wearing a basic pair of jeans. He still had a quilted jacket, but it didn't have a hood on it, and it was chocolate brown instead of orange. His blonde hair was deliberately messy on the top of his head.
Stan groaned. "What the hell is going on with you guys?"
"Nothing," Kenny replied. "Just wanted to do something different, is all."
"You look like a fag." Not true at all.
Kenny shot a grin over in Cartman's direction. "Like what you see?"
"Definitely not."
"Whatever, Cartman, you know it's all for you."
Cartman took an exaggerated step away from his friend, crossing his arms over his chest. "Stay away; otherwise I'll catch your fag germs." He took a second to contemplate his next statement. "You've spent way too much time with Kyle, and now look at you – you're infected."
"Fuck you Fatass! You know that I don't have germs. What are you, seven?" The familiar angry look crossed over Kyle's face. Oh, how he loved it when he got mad.
"Oh, Kahl, how naïve you are. Of course you can spread germs. I've been avoiding your Jew germs for years."
"Sometimes it amazes me how stupid you are." Yes, keep going.
"I hope you're aware of the scientific fact that the only thing that spreads quicker than Jew germs is fag germs."
"Why don't you ever shut up?"
"Because it annoys you so."
"You're such a prick."
Cartman laughed. "You're just jealous that I have better comebacks than you."
"You do not."
"Do too!"
"Shit!" Kenny exclaimed. "You guys are so much louder when you aren't muffled by a thick hood!"
Cartman was annoyed that his exchange was interrupted. Kyle shook his head, huffing and looking away. The bus suddenly screeched up, right on time. Kyle quickly led the way into the bus, keeping a distance between himself and Cartman. Cartman took the opportunity to punch Kenny in the arm.
"Ow, what the fuck was that for?"
"You're a dick."
Even though Cartman could feel Kenny's stare, he ignored him, boarding the bus after Stan.
-.-.-.-.-.
"What crawled up his ass?" Cartman asked as he chewed thoughtfully, eyeing Stan from across the lunch table. He could tell Kyle was glaring at him without even looking.
"Shut up, Fatass. Nothing is wrong with him."
"He looks constipated."
"He's not constipated."
"I don't know… He certainly looks constipated. Is it possible to be constipated for an entire week?"
"Dude!" Stan growled. "I'm right here!"
Cartman chuckled, but scowled when he saw the hurt look on Kyle's face.
"I'm sorry… Stan, seriously, if anything is wrong, you know you can tell me, right?"
"Yeah, I know," was the mumbled reply.
God sometimes he hated those two.
"Hey guys!" Kenny sat down enthusiastically next to Cartman. "Shit, you have no idea how much attention I've been getting! At first, I was all quiet, because, seriously, I haven' t been without my hood for so long, but all these girls were staring at me, so finally I said hi to one of them, that girl over there, see, and we were totally flirting! And then not a couple seconds later, I said hi to another girl in the hallway, a SENIOR, and she fucking gave me her number!" He shoved his palm in Kyle's face to show him the messy writing. "This is the most awesome thing that's ever happened to me!"
"Whoa," Kyle laughed, shoving Kenny's hand away from his face. "Slow down, dude. Take a breath once in a while."
"I seriously can't thank you enough, Kyle! I'm so going to get me some pussy tonight…" Kenny blinked, noticing Stan. "Stan, you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine…"
Cartman continued to eat, ignoring his friends for the time being. Stan was being an emo pussy, and Kenny was being way too enthusiastic over his new set of clothes. Kyle, well… he had to admit, Kyle's change was certainly… distracting. He let his mind wander, and briefly imagined what it would be like if he had done what Kyle and Kenny had. He frowned. Although Kyle and Kenny were receiving tons of attention, Cartman knew that no one would ever treat him differently, no matter how big a change he made.
For a moment, Cartman felt jealous of his friends.
"Hey, Fatass."
"Ay! Don't call me fat, you poor sack of shit!"
Kenny grinned at him, which only caused Cartman to scowl further. "Daydreaming about Kyle and his tight jeans?"
"What?" Kyle and Cartman squawked in unison.
"Sick, Kenny," Cartman spat, scowling down at his food. "You ruined my appetite."
Kyle glared at Cartman, but didn't say anything. Kenny grinned between the two of them, and Cartman resisted the urge to hit the bastard square in the nose.
-.-.-.-.-.
A couple of days passed, and not much changed. The other kids at South Park High School seemed to be getting a little bit used to Kyle at this point, but were still freaking out over Kenny. Cartman figured Kyle was helping the poor guy out, seeing as it looked like all of his clothes were staying clean and his hair was washed every day. Kenny obviously loved all the attention. Seeing two of his best friends suddenly popular made Eric feel pissed off. He didn't blame Kenny for jumping at the opportunity, but Kyle… Kyle barely cared about the popularity. He could have a million friends at that school. Why wasn't he taking advantage of that?
Cartman certainly didn't understand it, and he usually understood Kyle's motivations. He scowled to himself as he walked down the sidewalk. It was finally Friday afternoon. Stan had some sort of sports thing (Cartman never paid attention to his schedule), and Kenny was off socializing with some other people from school. He didn't know what the Jew was doing, but that didn't matter. They never hung out together, unless someone else was there with them. Cartman figured that he would just crash on his couch and watch movies all night. He was actually quite annoyed that Kenny had ditched him. The two of them usually did something on Friday nights after school. Cartman tried to silently convince himself that he preferred spending this Friday night alone.
When he went into the video store, however, he was met with a familiar set of green eyes. The other boy was standing in front of the rental counter. Cartman felt his stomach drop. They stared at each other for a moment, both shocked.
Cartman recovered quickly. "What are you doing here, Jew? Renting gay porn?"
Kyle glared, snapping out of his shock. "No," he ground out, "I work here."
"Say what?" Cartman's eyes quickly swept over Kyle's chest, just then spotting the name tag that clearly read "Kyle" and "Associate in Training."
"This afternoon is my first shift."
Cartman kept staring. "But… you're in high school," he said dumbly.
Kyle sighed. "So? It's not like its illegal or anything." He leaned casually on the front counter.
Cartman glanced around. "Are you alone?"
Kyle laughed. "No, but my manager is in the office. I don't know… this place is super laid back. He showed me how to use the cash register and then just left me out here. He said that if I had any questions, that I should get him." He shrugged.
"Wow."
"Yeah, I know."
"No, I mean, wow, I can't believe he trusts a Jew to handle the money."
"Shut up, Cartman," Kyle growled low in his throat. "You know damn well that stereotype isn't true."
"Just keep telling yourself that, Kyle. Just keep telling yourself that."
Kyle shot him a dirty look. "Whatever."
"Giving up so easily? Pussy."
"Shut…!" Kyle's voice had risen, but he seemed to realize this and lowered his voice, "…up, Fatass."
"Ha! I'm a paying customer, so you can't talk to me like that." Cartman smirked, crossing his arms over his chest.
Kyle glared at him. Cartman felt like he had won.
"So what are YOU doing here?"
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going to rent a movie."
"But it's Friday night… don't you have plans?"
"With who?" Cartman immediately regretted it after he said it, since it hinted at his pathetic social life. He mentally kicked himself as he quickly added, "No one is worth spending time with in this stupid town."
A knowing look crossed over Kyle's face. "Kenny ditched you, didn't he?"
"N-no way! I totally ditched him. I don't want to waste…"
"Cut the crap Cartman." Kyle sighed, shaking his head and looking away. "Some things never change," he muttered.
"Hey! You think you're so cool, now that you've supposedly 'changed?' You're still just as lame as you always were."
"So what if I am? I don't give a crap about that." Cartman was stunned. He wasn't expecting such a cop-out answer. "Anyway," Kyle continued, "it seems to me that you like me like me better now than a few months ago."
"What?"
"You heard me." Kyle cocked his head, studying him thoughtfully. "You like arguing with me."
They stared at each other; Cartman, with his mouth hanging open in surprise, and Kyle, eying the other with a pensive look. Cartman was truly taken aback for a moment. Like? Arguing? With HIM?
After a moment, he quickly retorted, "Quite the opposite. I'd rather you have not come back from that camp at all."
Kyle shook his head. "Why do you always have to be so stubborn?"
"Why do you have to be so Jewish?"
"Why do you have to be so fat?" There we go.
"Why do you have to have such a bitchy mom?"
"Why do you have to have such a slutty mom?"
"Fuck you, Jew! My mom isn't a slut!"
"Oh, yeah? Then why…-"
Suddenly, they heard a sound, and Kyle's manager came out of the backroom. Kyle and Cartman's heads snapped in the older man's direction, and he looked up from the clipboard he was looking at.
"Oh, Kyle? Is everything all right? I thought I heard shouting."
"N-no, sir. This is my friend from school, and we were just, um, talking about a movie," Kyle quickly explained.
"Smooth, really smooth," Cartman muttered under his breath so that only Kyle could hear. The red-head shot him a dirty glare before returning his gaze to his manager.
"Oh, well, that's good. Well, your shift is almost over. Why don't you go home for the night, so that you and your friend can spend some time together?"
Cartman made it look like he was about to protest, and Kyle hurried to say, "ThankssirI'llseeyoutomorrowlet'sgoCartman!" He grabbed Cartman's arm, and Eric tensed at the sudden touch. Kyle dragged him out of the store.
"Hey! Don't touch me with your stupid-"
"-Jew germs, I know, I know! For fucks sake, Cartman, why do you have to be so goddamn predictable?" Kyle let go of his arm as if it were on fire. Cartman glared at his enemy, ready for another show down. Kyle continued his rant. "Every time I try to say something nice, you throw it in my face. Every time someone ditches you, you say that you prefer it that way. Every FUCKING time I try to have a serious conversation with you, you turn it into… into a…" Kyle looked pissed, "Into a joke! Why can't you, for once in your life, actually say what you fucking FEEL!"
"Feelings are f-"
"-for girls, yeah I know." Kyle growled, and Cartman briefly wondered when his voice had lowered that much.
"Hey!"
"What?"
"Stop finishing m-"
"-your sentences?"
"S-"
"Stop it?"
"You g-"
"-good for nothing Jew?"
Cartman opened his mouth open and shut silently, not knowing what to say. Kyle waited patiently.
"F-"
"-fuck off?"
"ARGH!" Oh god, he wanted to punch him SO badly. "Why do you have to be so fucking annoying?"
"And why can't you just drop this whole 'I'm an asshole' act?"
"I'm not an asshole, and this isn't an act."
"Right, and I'm fucking Christian."
"I hate you."
"Why don't you just TRY being nice once in a while?"
"Why don't you get your big, filthy Jew nose out of my business?"
"No."
"You always do this! You're so fucking nosy."
"I'm not nosy."
"Yes, you are. You always try to 'fix' everything. Well, there's nothing to fix!"
"I beg to differ."
"This is who I am!"
"No. It's not. You're just scared to let anyone in."
"It's not like that at all." Cartman could feel himself start to panic. The Jew had become so calm, so collected. It was as if he knew everything. Cartman's palms were sweaty, and he noticed that he was panting slightly. He tried to gain his composure. He felt threatened. Kyle had the upper hand, and both of them knew it. He took a shaky breath in, trying to calm down. Kyle didn't give him long to recover.
"You know, if you-"
"Shut up."
"-would just let-"
"Shut up."
"-me be your-"
"SHUT UP YOU FUCKING KIKE!" Cartman snapped. He couldn't take it anymore. Kyle was about to destroy everything. He built up these walls for a reason. He lunged at the other boy, and both of them fell to the ground.
Kyle gave a sharp cry as they landed sharply, Cartman on top of him. Cartman quickly straightened himself up, straddling Kyle, and starting swinging at him blindly. Kyle's hands quickly flew up to protect his face.
"You stupid no good rotten filthy dirty low life ginger red-headed ugly stupid JEW!" Cartman yelled, his eyes tightly closes, his palms clenched, and his nerves practically shot. He kept his eyes shut as tightly as possible, mostly to hold the tears of frustration back.
Kyle didn't fight back. He simply let Cartman wail on him.