Stan could only remember a few times that he and Kyle had fought. Each time, they made up quickly. Stan hated fighting with Kyle, and until they made up, he would always get scared that they wouldn't survive their argument. The last time they fought was early middle school. After that incident, Stan swore to himself that he would never get into a fight with Kyle again. He didn't want to risk losing his best friend, especially over some petty argument.

But this time was different. Kyle had left South Park and come back a completely different person. He was suddenly popular. Even Wendy made a comment about how cool Kyle had gotten. Kyle had started a personal war against South Park, and in a way, against everything South Park stood for. Stan loved South Park the way it was, and didn't understand why Kyle felt the way he did. To make matters worse, Stan didn't know who his best friend was anymore.

And now that Kyle was out of the closet? Stan was confused. He was angry. He was disgusted.

He was terrified.

"Go. I can't look at you right now."

Stan could barely keep himself from running up his steps, his stomach lurching. He knew he shouldn't have pushed Kyle away. He knew that Kyle wasn't a threat. But Stan was terrified. Since Kyle had come back, Stan had been unable to look at his best friend the same way again. His red hair made his eyes look like mesmerizing green emeralds. His pants were the perfect fit to not show off too much or too little. His boost of confidence made him more charming.

Stan slammed his bedroom door and sat heavily on his bed. He felt sick. He didn't want to think of his friend that way. He wasn't gay. He loved Wendy. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. But… he loved Kyle too. He had shared deep secrets with both of them. He wanted each of them in his life. He didn't want to ever pick one over the other.

When he heard Kyle leave, he let out a shaky sigh of relief. He couldn't deal with this now. He just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be.

He flipped open his phone, and found Wendy in his address book. He nervously grabbed at his comforter and he bounced slightly on the bed, waiting impatiently for her to pick up.

"Hey Stan!" Her voice calmed him some.

"Hey Wendy, can I come over?"

"Sure… Is something wrong? You sound upset."

"I'll tell you when I get there. I'll be there soon."

"Ok, love you."

"Love you too."

He flipped his phone shut. He got up from his bed and looked out the window to make sure that Kyle was gone. He then quickly headed back down the stairs and out the back door, making his way quickly towards Wendy's house. The entire way, Stan replayed the incident over and over in his head, and each time, he felt a familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach.

There was no doubt about it. Stan was confused about his own feelings. He was angry at Kyle for making him feel this way, but also at himself. He was disgusted with the way his eyes automatically roamed over his best friend's body.

He was terrified that he was in the closet.

-.-.-.-.-.

"Ok, what the hell is wrong with you?"

They were sitting at the coffee shop. Stan had gone over to Wendy's, and together they decided to go sit somewhere to talk. Stan hadn't said a word about his incident with Kyle yet, and Wendy had held back her questioning. However, she was never an incredibly patient person.

Stan didn't really know how much he wanted to tell her. He certainly didn't want to talk to her about his sudden attraction to his best friend, mostly because he knew that it would upset her. He didn't want to jeopardize his relationship with Wendy. However, he knew he had to tell her about the fight. She would find out eventually anyway.

"I… was hanging out with Kyle. He and I… got into a fight."

Wendy nodded thoughtfully, staying quiet so that he could continue.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. Today at lunch, he made a comment about not being interested in dating any girls. This afternoon, I directly asked him if he was gay. He said he was. I… got kind of upset. I mean, he's known for a while, and didn't tell me. Plus, I asked something I didn't really want to know the answer to."

"What was that?" she asked quietly, her voice gentle.

"I asked him if he was attracted to me, and he gave me a copout answer. I could tell that he was." Stan swallowed, glancing up at his girlfriend to gage her reaction. She didn't seem upset, so he continued. "He asked me if I was mad, and I told him I didn't know… then…. He was really nervous and started rambling. I just got so… mad."

Wendy continued to nod encouragingly.

"I… I don't know. I don't know who the fuck he is anymore! I mean, he went off to camp, basically wrote me off for over a month, and then comes back, expecting me to understand! He's completely different. It's like he turned his back on South Park… on me. Like being friends with me wasn't good enough. He was miserable before he left, and then suddenly at the camp he's happier. He was happier at the camp than he was here with us. I… I don't know how he could be my best friend and still feel that way."

Stan huffed in frustration, taking a sip of his coffee. It felt good to finally talk about his feelings with someone else. He normally didn't talk about his feelings too much, even with Wendy. However, now that it was off his chest, he felt like he could think more clearly than he did before.

Wendy waited a moment to make sure he was done. Then, she smiled warmly at him. "Stan?"

"Yeah?" Stan raised his eyes to look back at her.

"I'm glad that you decided to share this with me."

He smiled weakly at her, nodding. "You're a wonderful listener."

"Thanks." She sighed. "Do you want to know what I think?"

"Sure. I could use some advice."

"I think you should be telling Kyle all of this."

Stan shook his head, putting his coffee mug down sharply on the table.

"You know I'm right."

"Kyle and I don't talk like that."

"Well, you should start. Kyle can be a good listener too, you know."

"Guys… don't talk like that, Wendy. That's a girl thing."

"Kyle and I had a wonderful conversation last year, actually. He is very capable of talking about his feelings, and I KNOW that he would be more than happy to discuss yours with you. You guys are best friends."

Stan scrunched his nose. "What did you guys talk about?"

Wendy laughed softly, tucking a strand of her long hair behind her ear. "Many things. It was nothing bad, Stan, but I don't feel comfortable talking about it. However, it made me realize more than ever that Kyle is a wonderful person. He cares a lot for you, and I know you care about him too."

Stan didn't want to think about how much he cared for Kyle.

"Besides," she continued, "who cares if he's gay, or that he finds you attractive? Most people in the school find you attractive, Stan. I'm sure that nothing will come out of it. It's not like he's going to suddenly start hitting on you, or try to rape you when you're alone."

"I-I know that…"

"It's not like I don't sympathize with you. I can understand how you can feel betrayed by his attitude and feel uncomfortable with the knowledge that he finds you attractive. Your feelings are just, Stan, and you have every right to feel that way. It's not like you can control what you feel. But, I still think that you should talk to Kyle about this. You'll resolve all these feelings much more quickly, and you can go back to being best friends again."

Stan stared at his girlfriend, his chest tightening. "Wendy?"

"Yeah?"

"You're the best."

She smiled. "I know," she replied in a teasing tone. She leaned forward and Stan pecked her softly on the lips.

-.-.-.-.-.

But no matter how encouraging Wendy was, it was still hard for Stan to imagine approaching Kyle. He had a lot of things to work out on his own. Plus, he was never one who enjoyed conflict, especially when it involved Kyle. He didn't know how to bring up the issues, nor did he really know what he would say.

When he returned to his house that night, his parents yelled at him to not leave his video games running.

"Seriously, Stanley, I thought you knew better!" his mother, Sharon, chastised.

"Sorry, Mom," he mumbled. "I forgot it was on. I'll be more careful next time."

"It's ok, hon."

"Where were you?" his father asked.

"I went to the coffee shop with Wendy."

They chatted idly as they prepared to sit down for supper. Stan didn't have much of an appetite, but forced the food into his mouth anyway. He excused himself quickly after he finished eating, so that he could try to figure out exactly how to talk to Kyle the next morning.

Unfortunately, he didn't figure anything out at all. The only thing he gained was a night of restless sleep and a sudden need to run to the toilet whenever he thought too hard. The next morning, he contemplated faking illness so that he could skip school, but knew that sitting in bed all day wouldn't help the situation.

He walked slowly to the bus stop. He was happy when he saw that Kenny was the first and only one there.

"Hey Kenny," he greeted, falling into his usual place.

"Hey Stan," Kenny replied, glancing at him knowingly. Stan shifted.

"What?"

"I know about your fight with Kyle yesterday."

"Oh."

"You guys aren't going to fight long, are you? I mean, the last time you fought you didn't talk for almost an entire month, and that was just annoying as hell."

Stan shrugged, not really knowing the answer. Kenny sighed.

"Well, if you need to vent, I'm here. You know I'll never pick sides."

"Thanks, Kenny," Stan smiled, honestly feeling comforted by Kenny's support.

Cartman joined them next, falling into his usual place between the two. "What's up, Fags?"

Stan glared at him.

"Not much," Kenny replied cheerfully.

"Why do you have to be so annoying? And what's with that outfit?"

"The girls love it, Cartman. Don't you think my ass looks damn hot?" Kenny shook his ass in Cartman's direction, and the larger boy made a sound of disgust.

Stan studied Kenny's shaking butt thoughtfully. He didn't feel any sort of attraction to Kenny at all, and that wasn't because Kenny was lacking in looks. The girls obviously loved him, and Stan could objectively see that Kenny was an attractive guy. However, the thought of sleeping with Kenny, or seeing him in any sort of sexual situation at all, made Stan feel sick, and not in the way he felt sick around Kyle.

Kenny and Cartman continued to bicker as they waited for the bus. Stan remained quiet, wondering when Kyle would show up. His friend finally came a few minutes before the bus was scheduled to arrive. He ran up, his hair a slight mess and his cheeks flushed.

"Shit!" he breathed, "Glad I made it."

"Hey Kyle!" Kenny greeted.

"Jew."

"Hey guys," Kyle smiled. His smile faltered when he looked at Stan. "H-hey Stan."

Stan felt sick. He didn't know what to say to Kyle. He knew that he should at the very least apologize. It wasn't like they had to talk about what happened. But he knew that if he told Kyle he was sorry, things would eventually smooth over. He also knew that both of them would feel better about the whole incident.

However, for some reason, Stan was at a loss for words. He knew what he needed to say, but for some reason, all he could choke out of his throat was a simple "Hey."