A/N: Be My Master is from Edward's point of view but almost every review from the last chapter mentioned something about the threat Bella made to Esme. This chapter explains the reasons behind Esme's actions. Enjoy!

Esme & Bella's Lunch Outtake

Esme POV

As I drove to the Four Seasons to meet Bella for lunch I couldn't stop myself from thinking back to the beginning and how I let myself get drawn into a situation I can not find my way out of.

When Edward told us in Chicago that he was leaving Tanya I thought finally, now I can get rid of her. Yes I had paid her off to keep her from having an abortion but I never expected Edward to marry her and that is where my troubles really began, her mother. Walking into the church for the rehearsal I had no idea Carmen Denali would turn out to be Carmen Rosser, one of two people who knew all my dirty secrets. It didn't take her or her daughter long to figure out I didn't want those secrets to come out and I succumb to their blackmail. When Edward explained how miserable he had been I felt incredibly guilty, I had agreed to their payments on the condition Tanya stay with him and make him happy. That is how I justified it to myself.

Even after Edward starting divorcing her I kept up the payments until he found out about them. I called Carmen and told her that Edward had found out and they would be stopping now. She tried to force me to have Edward take Tanya back but I knew he wouldn't, he was seeing someone else and he was much happier without Tanya. She would call every few months to see if I knew who he was seeing but he wouldn't tell us the information just that she was young and the kids didn't even know he was dating.

It was Thanksgiving after the divorce was final that Tanya went to his house hoping to see who she was. She didn't get in but did question why Chief Swan was there and that was when she began to look at Bella as the woman he was with now. Carmen wanted to meet her so I invited them to Chicago for Christmas. I told Carmen she was on her own as far as a way to meet her. She was upset when they came to the house to see the kids and couldn't even catch a glimpse of her, Edward had ushered her upstairs before they arrived. Carmen tried pumping information out of Ethan and Emily but they were tight lipped and refused to mention Bella at all. Their loyalty surprised me and I decided to dig deeper in to her reasons for being with Edward. I no longer thought this was the fling I originally had.

When Bella joined me on the sun porch for breakfast I was honest in my confusion over her reasons for being with Edward. I saw his reasons, she was young, beautiful, intelligent and seemed to compliment him in ways Tanya never had. But why was she with him, I mean she is young, beautiful and intelligent didn't she want someone her own age? How would she deal with it when he was 50 and she was 30? Was it money? The Cullen name? I never expected her reaction or Edward's. Later when Carlisle confronted me after speaking with Edward I stuck to my story about being curious and not meaning to offend anyone. I couldn't tell him Carmen was essentially blackmailing me, he has no idea I had even met her before the wedding.

I came out of my thoughts as I pulled up to the hotel and cringed when the last time I was here flashed in my mind. Thank god I hadn't slipped to Carmen this time and told her about the meeting. I was surprised when I was told Bella reserved a room and ordered room service, I shouldn't have been. She didn't want a repeat of the last meeting anymore than I did. As I rode the elevator and walked to the room I had no idea what to say to her. The truth is I don't understand their relationship, at least from her perspective, why be with a man that much older if not for the security he offers but I could see how good she was for Edward and the kids. I was shocked to learn all those things about Tanya and it made me sick to think I had contributed to Edward's misery for so many years but I could not see any way out of the situation I was in.

Carmen was desperate for me to get rid of Bella so Tanya could try to win him back. She refused to believe it couldn't be done, I knew it couldn't. Bella was not going to go away quietly they were married for heaven's sake. I didn't think it was Tanya pushing this anymore Carmen was the driving force, but why? This was my last chance and I realized it. I had to make things right with Bella, she was the only reason Edward and the kids were still seeing me. I had to make things right with her before she told Edward to write me off for good. I wasn't a fool I recognized that she made Edward and the kids very happy and yes I wanted them happy but could I give them that and keep intact the world I had created for myself. I took a deep breath before I knocked on the door.

"Good afternoon Esme, please come in. I reserved the room so we could have some privacy today. They just delivered lunch so let's sit down. Shall we?" Bella was always so polite and civil to me in spite of all the awful things I had done and said to her. As we ate in silence I couldn't help but admire her. If I was honest with myself I liked Bella and the man Edward became after meeting her. He came out of his shell and was happy again instead of just existing. That is one reason it would be months in between my outbursts concerning Bella. I would put Carmen off as long as I could until she threatened to tell Edward or Carlisle about our shared past herself. Then I would place all my anger at the situation on Bella and lash out at her unjustly. I had to fix this that is why I was here. I had been so caught up in my thoughts I hadn't realized we finished eating until Bella spoke.

"Esme we have to find a way pass these problems. What will it take to get to the point where we can be around each other without alienating Edward and the kids? I am his wife and I will not go away because you wish it." Bella asked.

"I understand that Bella but there is so much at stake for me here. I have to be sure I do what is best for everyone involved?" Especially myself and the life I have built, I thought. "I was shocked by what was revealed about Tanya the last time we were here but she wants him back Bella. Don't you see how much easier things would be if they were together again? She is accepted in his world and has promised to be a better wife this time."

"A better wife? A better wife than last time or a better wife than me?" She asked angrily. "It would only take the effort of keeping her legs closed to be a better than last time and she will never be a better wife to Edward than me. I love him and he loves me. If you would stop this vendetta you have against me I would be accepted in his world also." She stood from the table and walked to the window before continuing. "I am not stupid Esme, this is about something else. What is this really about?"

"I have explained to you several times Bella I don't understand your reasons behind this. I mean really what do get out this besides ridicule and a man almost 20 years older than you? He could be so much more with Tan..." The venom in her voice when she cut me off let me know I had gone too far. She would stop making the effort to force Edward to communicate with me.

"He was miserable with her! He does not love her or want her back! I know you love him and want him happy and I know you know he wasn't EVER happy with her. I am calling you out on your bullshit Esme. Whatever your problem is I think it has very little to do with me and more to do with you. When I sat down and thought about what your 'reasons' could be I realized you don't really have any. They never change as if you can't think of a better argument and you argue half heartedly about them."

"Bella I don't ulterior motives here." I said as she laughed. It was a dark laugh, one that said she clearly wasn't falling for my ruse.

"You don't have ulterior motives? Really? I think you do. I think for whatever reason you are trying safe your own ass. Who pays a woman to stay with her son? That should have made it obvious exactly what Tanya thinks of Edward. Then you have the nerve to call me the gold digger. First Edward and I thought it was about the amount of control you have always had in his life and the fact that you lost most of that when I came along. But something about that argument just didn't ring true for me. If that had been the case you would have tried to interfere much more than you have."

"Bella that is not the case here. I know you are young and new to marriage but..."

"Edward and I have been together for over 5 years Esme." She said with a look that put me in my place. "I may be new to marriage but I guarantee that I know Edward better than Tanya could ever hope to and better than you do at the moment. I will not let you make my age an issue especially since I feel I have been the more mature in the relationship I currently have with you." She walked to the desk and picked up a manila envelope.

"Bella I want us to be able to come to terms..." She laughed bitterly again as she slapped the envelope down in front of me.

"I am so glad we finally see eye to eye Esme. These are my terms. You will get over whatever animosity you have towards me. You will invite me into your home with a smile on your face and be pleasant, not only civil but pleasant to me whenever Edward and the kids are around us. You will not be invited into my home until I feel you are being more genuine with your feelings. I will tell Edward we have come to an agreement to try and you will call me being humble and apologetic about your treatment of me. He needs to hear that from you not because he needs your acceptance of us, trust me he doesn't need that, but because it is what he expects from his mother. To admit when she has made a mistake." I was angry now, how dare her speak to me like this.

"Or what Bella? What is it you think you can do to me?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Or I will use what is in the packet I sat in front of you." She said calmly as she walked back to the table and sat.

"What exactly do you think is in here that will change my mind?" I ask, confused as I picked it up but didn't open it. Bella laughed.

"Why all the dirty little secrets you are trying to keep hidden of course." I tried to cut in but she kept talking over me. "My father maybe Chief of Police in a small town but he is still Chief. He knows how to investigate, run background checks and has the connections to dig into someone's background and that is what he did. He gave me this when they were visiting and told me it would shut you up and good. I hate that it came to this Esme. I am going to go and you give me a call when you are ready to accept my terms."

I sat in shock as she left and stared at the packet. No she couldn't have found out. Most of those records were sealed. It had not occurred to me that with whom her father was he would be able to unseal the records. No she couldn't know as much as she thought and I gingerly opened the envelope. As I looked at each document the tears started to flow, he had it all. I looked over things I never thought I would see again, birth certificate, orphanage records, my juvenile record, marriage certificate, death certificates, arrests, identity papers and Carlisle, my salvation. Charlie had uncovered most of it and as hard as I tried to be mad at him for this I had no one but myself to blame. I had pushed him into protecting his daughter and he had a done a thorough job of it. I gathered all the papers up and made my way out of the hotel. The entire ride home I thought over the last five years and given my treatment of Bella I was sure she had shown the package to Edward.

It was obvious Edward was seeing someone who made him happy. I was concerned about her age and how she would handle the kids but I was glad he was finally happy. When the incident with Emily happened I saw for myself that she was good for them and could handle the things that happen with kids. A call from Carmen put a damper on all my good will towards Bella and prompted the visit to Forks for Thanksgiving.

When they returned from England married is when I realized my time was limited. Outside I was angry that Edward had done that without telling me and that I had not been able to get rid of Bella. Inside I was awed by the way she loved him and could not be turned from a life with him, he deserved to be loved that way.

My mind spun through the other times with Bella, her graduation, the dinners in Chicago, The Cafe and the last dinner before today and how horrible I had been to her. For the first time I was actually ashamed of my actions, seeing the evidence drove home the point I was to blame for my predicament not Bella. Carlisle and I had been in counseling together and I had counseling on my own, it was only my counselor I was completely honest with. She had warned me someday it would all come down around me and apparently that day had arrived.

I pulled in the garage and immediately went to my office to call Carmen. This was over. Bella had all the evidence she needed to blow my family apart, I had nothing to lose at this point by denying her. I locked my office and placed the phone call that would probably destroy my perfectly sculpted life.

"Carmen, its Esme. I have just come from lunch with Bella. Her father looked into me and she knows everything. I'm done Carmen I will no longer allow you to blackmail me into making my son miserable."

"You will do as I say Esme. I doubt her father found out everything. You will do as I say or I will tell every little detail and then we will see if your precious Carlisle sticks by you." She spat over the phone.

"Then I will tell him myself but this is over. I have never understood why you pushed so hard. Tanya doesn't want Edward and remember I have dirt on you also. I am sure Eleazar would love to hear about your past also." She laughed at me.

"I told Eleazar almost everything soon after we married. The only thing he doesn't know is that he wasn't my first choice, Carlisle Cullen was and you took him from me. When I realized who got Tanya pregnant was when I saw my opportunity to make you pay for taking him from me."

"We lost touch long before I even met Carlisle. I had no idea you loved him. How could I have known? All of this was to get at me?" I asked, pleading for answers.

"Yes, you left me behind. You have no idea how bad things got after you left and now you are paying for that decision." She shouted.

"I was young and part of a group living on the streets. I did what I had to do to survive. Yes I saw my way out and I took it. But my time with Charles was a nightmare. I went back and tried to find all of you but you were gone."

"You didn't do enough. After him you conned some old lady into believing you were her long lost niece and never looked back. What bothered me the most seeing you again was you actually believed the life you created for yourself was real. I know where you come from Esme and you looked down on my Tanya for getting pregnant until you realized who her mother is. I know you aren't any better than us and decided to remind you of that fact. Good luck getting your sanctimonious husband or dry as dirt son to look at you the same way now."

"You fucking bitch stay away from..." I started yelling at her then I noticed the dial tone, she hung up on me. I laid my head down on the desk and cried for all the wrong choices I had made in my life. When I came out of the office Carlisle was waiting for me and I didn't know what to tell him so I said nothing and went to our room. I knew he called Edward and prayed he hadn't gotten any answers out of him. Carlisle had been so patient with me, he hadn't necessarily taken my side but he told me he understood and I had a right to my feelings, no matter how off base he thought they were. What was I going to say to the man I had been married to for 40 years now?

That night I asked for time. Time to come to terms with what happened at lunch, time to talk to my counselor and time to gather my thoughts so I could tell him everything. I promised to tell him everything and he gave me the time I needed. I saw my counselor three times a week and together we worked out the best way to tell him. Three weeks after my lunch with Bella we sat in my counselor's office while I prepared to tell my husband, that I loved so much that I had lied to him for over 40 years.

"Carlisle I am ready to tell you everything, why I feel the way I do about Bella, why I push Tanya at Edward, everything." I had been looking at my hands and I finally looked at his face, I could tell he wasn't sure he wanted to know anymore. I had taken the coward's way out and we were sitting in my counselor's office. I needed someone there as a buffer. "It started a long time ago and I need you to just listen until I have finished. Please?" He nodded and I closed my eyes as I began to speak.

I explained how I was an orphan in Boston and placed in a group home. "The couple that ran it used us as slave labor, as I got older and began to develop I ran from the home because the couple did nothing to keep the boys away from us. On the streets is were I meet Carmen Rosser and she took me back to the abandon house a group of them stayed in. That was when I was Susan Moon. We spent our days on the streets committing petty crimes, panhandling, theft and some prostitution. Nights were spent trying to stay warm and away from the cops, sometimes we did and sometimes we didn't. I had been with them about a year when I was caught by a man trying to pick his pocket. Charles was very nice to me, offered to get me off the streets, clean me up and give me a place to live as long as I agreed to be his wife." I glanced up at Carlisle and he looked as if he was in shock, not knowing what to say I continued on.

"We lied about my age, I was really 16 not 18 so we could marry. Charles was 28 at the time. Things were fine for awhile and I moved on and tried to forget Carmen and my life on the streets then Charles lost his job and I found out I was pregnant. He started beating me and with the hopes of making a new life I fled Boston. He caught up with me in Chicago, beat me so bad I miscarried and left me in an alley to die. My 18th birthday was spent in a hospital recovering. There an elderly woman claimed I was her lost niece, Esme Platt. I denied it at first but she kept producing pictures and talking about the life Esme led before she ran from her parents and in an act of self preservation I told her I was starting to remember things and maybe I was Esme." I noticed Carlisle move to the window and refuse to look at me.

"How does this play into what is happening now?" Carlisle asked softly.

"When Edward came to us with Tanya being pregnant I was shocked but happy. He was out of college and the time seemed right for him to start a family. He was going to marry her and he seemed to really want the baby. When he came to us saying Tanya wasn't sure she wanted to have it and he didn't know how to stop her was when I thought of paying her like a surrogate. I went to her with the intention of a one time payment, she got her money, Edward got the baby and everyone was happy. But Edward proposed to her and she latched onto that and saw a way to get even more money from me. I had no idea who her mother was until the night before the wedding at the rehearsal. I was shocked to see Carmen walk in." I looked to Carlisle; he hadn't moved from the window or turned to look at me.

"Over the years Carmen and I developed a friendship again and I paid Tanya to stay with Edward and keep him happy. I thought he was happy until he told us otherwise and I had no idea Carmen was behind Tanya's idea for the payments until I stopped them. Over the last five years Carmen has come to me at different times demanding that I either get information on Edward or break up he and Bella. If I refused I was threatened with exposure of my past, so I did what was demanded of me in order to keep the bubble I had built of my life intact." That got his attention and Carlisle spun around to confront me.

"So you sold out our son and his happiness to keep your lies from coming out?" The loathing in his voice was evident.

"No!" I shouted. "Yes," I whispered. "I don't know. I truly do not understand the reasons he and Bella are together. They are such an unlikely pair and..."

"Why they are together shouldn't matter Esme. They make each other unbelievably happy. That is what should matter to you. The fact that you don't understand it is your problem not theirs." He looked at me with disgust before turning back to the window. "Why tell me this now? You worked so hard to keep your secrets, why now?"

"The last lunch I had with Bella, she produced a package that has the proof of everything I just told you in it. Her father checked into my background, I'm not sure why but she knows almost everything now. I came home that day and called Carmen telling her I was done with it and her. She laughed. Once she found out who Tanya was marrying she has been pulling the strings the whole time. She feels I just walked away from Boston and left her behind. She is jealous that I married you and is resentful of the fact that I left the street girl behind me and started to believe I was the society girl I portray. She saw an opportunity to inflict damage on me and my family and she took it. I am taking back control of my life and knew I had to tell you before she did." He laughed bitterly.

"So this hate towards Bella, is it how you feel or how Carmen forced you to act?" He asked.

"A little of both. As I said I don't understand but I do recognize how happy they all are as a family. I also admire her for sticking by Edward through all of this. I never expected him to pick her over me and that tells me how very much he loves her." I finished on a whisper.

"Is there anything else I need to know or have you covered everything?" He asked still looking out the window.

"I don't understand. I am sure you have questions that I..."

"I ask if there was anything else. Have I heard most of it or is there still something major I need to hear about?" This time he turned as he asked and the look in his eyes bothered me. It was as if he was pulling away from everything.

"No I have told you all of it. I will go into detail concerning any portion of it that you like but my hope is we can get past this, eventually." He nodded and started walking towards the door. "Carlisle don't leave we need to talk about this, walking away won't solve anything." He stopped when he reached the door but didn't look at me.

"You have known about this for over 40 years. I have known for one hour; forgive me if I need time to process everything. But I will tell you what I am thinking right now. Had you told me this when we first married or when Tanya first became pregnant I would have overlooked everything and forgiven you immediately. I am not a shallow man. I understand that people do what they must to survive in this world and I definitely would have been moved by a young girl taking what she thought was her one chance of getting out and happiness." He sighed deeply and looked at me. "What I don't know if I can ever forgive you for is making my son's life miserable. I understand you didn't know when he was with Tanya but Bella has brought nothing but joy to his and those kids' lives and I know you saw that. That is were I draw the line Esme, you intentionally went out of your way to protect yourself by attempting to take from Edward one of the people he loves most in this world. I think that may be an unforgiveable sin with me. IF Edward and Bella forgive you I may but I am on their side. They deserve every ounce of happiness they can find in life and Bella never deserved the way you treated her. You do realize every accusation you threw at her is true of Tanya and Carmen. I am going to pack a bag at the house and then leave. I don't know where I will be staying but I will call in a few days. I suggest you talk to Edward and tell him this story."

"But Edward knows, I am surprised he hasn't called already to yell at me about this. I mean surely Bella has shown him..." He shook he head and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"This is what I am saying Esme, you know nothing about Bella. Yes her father gave her the information but I am willing to bet every cent I have in the bank she never opened that envelope." I gasped in surprise. "She would feel it is your place to disclose the information, not hers. Even after the way you have treated her, she still would not stoop to the level you have."

"But Edward..."

"Oh I am sure she told Edward about the package but if Bella doesn't want to know what is in it I am not sure he would open it, at least right away. Surely you realize she is the reason he still sees you after the way you treat her. If he forgives you after learning the truth you will owe that forgiveness to Bella. And you will tell him the truth. You have zero chance of my forgiveness until you do. Do not try to contact me, I will let you know when I am ready to talk." I watched as he walked out the door. I never expected him to just walk out. I turned to my counselor in surprise.

"What did you expect to have happen Esme? You have had many chances to rectify this situation over the years and didn't. No one's forgiveness is unlimited. Your time is up today. Think about what Carlisle has said and we will discuss that and telling Edward on Wednesday."

As I drove home I thought about what Carlisle had said before he walked out, if I wanted Edward to understand I needed Bella to understand first and I had no idea how to make that happen. But I had to start with her.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters.

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