Then

We had gotten there a little to late, we always have gotten there a little too late when it came to the Winchester boys, always just a little too late. We were supposed to stop Mary Winchester from dying and Sam getting the demon blood inside of him, but we were too late, we were supposed to stop Sam from getting hurt in the physic war so that Dean would not sell his soul, we were too late once again, we were supposed to stop Dean from getting sent to hell, but guess what happened there too? Too late once again. So I was sent to retrieve Dean out of hell, even with Vicky trying to get into my head and trying to let me let her take my place, I did it.

It was not a very happy thing to do, I had gotten hurt doing the job that I was supposed to do, but I did it like God had commanded from me. When I got back Vicky nearly screamed when she saw that I was hurt and started to run around looking for something patch me up with, then it was going to kill me, which it wasn't. She was not very happy that I had gotten hurt and kept saying that I should have let her go instead of me, saying that she could have handled it. I did not understand then why she was so concerned about all of my marks of my body, all of the stabs and the slight pain that I was in, I mean I could have just healed myself, but she did it for me.

Vicky has not allowed me out of her eye sight since then, she is always at my side or standing in the darkness watching over the boys while I speak to the both of them. I can tell most of the time that she wished that I was in her place and she was in mine. I do not understand why she would want to put herself in the way of harm, just for me, or why I would do the same to protect her. Sometimes I wish that I could tell her all the emotions that I fell that I should not for her.

Now

Vicky and I had stayed in our little spot on the beach all night, we stayed there until the sun started to bleed out all around us. Vicky did not say a lot, anyone could tell that she was thinking intensely hard about something, something that she would not tell a soul about. I though about all the different things that had happened over the night, it was hard to get off of my mind for more then a few moments before it would slam right back into my brain all over again. That's when I started listen to the voices in my head. . . the voices of angels. They were all talking about different things, I didn't pay much attention until something about the boys came up.

" Yes, Dean is out of the house, going to a bar to relax himself and the Ruby is coming into their town. Sam knows where to met her at and has been waiting there since Dean left. Sam will never get over the addiction, until it is too late. He will always have an addiction." One said.

" There is nothing that we can do about it though, it's a terrible thing but there is still nothing that we or his angels can do about it. . ." Another said. They went on and on and I pulled Vicky up and took her straight back to the motel room that Sam and Dean were supposed to be in, neither were there, no sulfur to be found anywhere. There was no sign of where Sam had gone to and I knew that the angel's had been speaking the truth, Sam was with Ruby, most likely draining her of all the blood that she could give him.

" Dammit!" Was all that I could say. I did not know if I was supposed to be feeling this way or not, but I was extremely angry with myself and with Sam.

Castiel said something that there was a demon with Sam, the one that has been tricking him into things for the longest time now, Ruby. Dean would never admit it, but before he found out that Sam was drinking demon's blood, he liked Ruby and almost in a way respected her too. Dean had even saved Ruby from being sent back to hell from another angel, he wanted Ruby to be alive because back then, but still thought that she was fighting a good fight with them. But that day has pasted and along with it comes something new, Lilith has been set free and all of the seals but one have been broken.

We were waiting to see what was going to happen next, mostly waiting for our next order from Father about the boys, but everything was off by now, everything was so bad that we could not think about Lilith and everything that she was doing. I mean Dean had to bring Sam to a safe room inside of one of their fellow hunter friends safe room to make sure that Ruby did not barge in and give Sam and more of her blood. We were waiting as Sam was detoxed from all the demon blood and he consumed after we had finally found him. We had to wait days for Sam to get it all out of his system, there was quite a lot of screaming and Sam sounded like he was truly suffering. I could not feel any more sorry for Dean, it was his baby brother and the only family that he had left in there screaming and trying to stay alive from the demon blood, but still it sounded like Sam was in there dying.

Dean and I finally got our time to talk together, it took awhile and he needed a drink, he needed a drink. So I went out with him, I didn't want him to be alone right now and I really didn't want to be listening to Sam's screams for much longer. It was a very quite car ride to the nearest liquor store, because there was not a bar to be found around here and it seemed like I was never going to get to talk this the amazing Dean Winchester that Castiel talks so much about. But finally after he had gotten his alcohol and we had driven off into some field in the middle of no where, that's when we started to talk.

" I would ask if you wanted some, but I mean with you being an angel I doubt that you drink." He said as he looked over, bottle still in hand.

" You would be correct." I smiled as he turned up the radio to some song that I had never heard of before in my life, which was a very long time may I remind you. " I am sorry about your brother Dean." I said not looking him in the eye for a second so that I would not see what they were trying to tell me.

" I just didn't think that Sammy would ever do that, ya know? I thought that he would know better then to do something that would pretty much be making him exactly like a demon." He sighed as he took another drink from the bottle. " He isn't the same anymore." He then took a very long drink of the alcohol, not even really thinking of the words that he had just said.

" Neither are you Dean." I said, trying to remind him of his past self, the one that he was before he went to hell. He had been very different.

" What do you mean? I'm the same guy that I have always been. . ." He knew that he was not the same guy, he could tell it himself. I knew from Sam that he was not the same person, he never would be the same person again. I guess that Hell must really change a person in some ways.

" Dean, before you went to hell you were a different person since you have. . . well since you have arrived back from the trip we will say. You're a different person and you know it, something happened when you where there that changed you and I doubt that you will ever go back to being that person."

I wasn't trying to make him change back into the old Dean, no we needed him to be this way so that he can help us fight off Lilith and make sure that the whole end of the world thing, Lucifer being set free and all of humanity being destroyed does not happen. I just wanted him to really know, deep down inside that he has changed, for him to know that one day he could go back to being the old Dean. The Dean that can hunt anything, anywhere he wanted to with Sam even. One day I will make sure that Dean can be someone else, but today he has to be a warrior for God, just like me.

" You know what, maybe I am different, maybe I'm some kind of different thing all together from the person that I used to be. But what the hell gives you the right to tell me that I am different, I mean what do you think you are? Some kind of therapist that can help me get back to my old ways? Well here's something for you, I don't want your help." He was angry, shit, I didn't mean for it to go this way.

" No Dean, I do not want to help you or be your little therapist. I just want you to know that you have changed, to know that you are a different person and this will come to be a great need for when we go to fight Lilith." Was all that I said and it seemed to calm Dean down, just a little. " With you being like this and Sam being off the demon blood and with some help from Castiel and myself, I have no doubt in the world that we will be able to fight her off and we will be able to stop everything from happening." I smiled as I said that. " To make sure that Lucifer does not end this world if he gets set free." I sighed, and remembered all over again everything from nights gone past, how when I was not with Cas how must I was thinking about Lucifer and everything that he had said to me.

" Trust me Vic, he will not get out of his hole in the ground." Dean said as we started driving back to Bobby the hunter's house, to check up on Sam and make sure that everyone was still pretty much alive.

There was no sign anywhere of any demons being in the area of Sam, nothing saying that we were going to get attacked. Most likely because this was Bobby's territory and all of those stupid little demons have heart of the great Bobby Singer before. Cas and I thought that it would be just fine and Sam was let out of the safe room and he was just fine, I mean he was hungry and was in some desperate need for a shower, but other then the basic needs, he was demon blood free. There was nothing saying that Sam would want to go back into the blood thing as long as no one showed blood around him that had been tainted or was demon blood. So with the Sam and Dean went back to doing what they do best, hunting and well stealing money from people being playing this game of pool. . .

Castiel and I made sure that we were not too far away from wherever Sam and Dean were going, always making sure that the area was cleared and there was no sign of Ruby to be found. We really did not want Sam to get back into all the demon blood again, it would be the worst thing the in world for Sam to get back into that because Lilith could and most likely would use that against us if we do find her and we try to kill her with the boy there. It made me think again about Lucifer.

We had grown up together, yes grown up together. I was one of father's first girls that he had really created from scratch, well I was the first besides Anna, but Anna was created as an adult, to watch over the four of us pretty much. Lucifer and I were inseparable, we were best friend of all time and we were pretty much like brother and sister. We were best friends and we were always getting into a lot of trouble together. Micheal always told me that we should be better kids, being the older brother and all he knew what he was talking about.

Father always had a soft spot for me, I do not know what it was about me that made me so happy, but when I was a kid he would always have time to listen to what I was saying, or if the boys were having too much fun with each other then he would have time to stop from doing whatever he had been doing and he would come and play with me for just a little bit before one of the boys would come in and ask if I wanted to go and play. Father would always make sure that the boys were not hurting me and that I was always okay.

Gabriel was the one that always played pranks on us, he would like to put water buckets over doors and wait for us to come in and get drenched with water. One time he did that to me and I punched him so hard and he nearly fell off of his bed where he had been laughing. I was soaked and I went to Micheal and cried and then he went over and punched Gabriel. But he liked to use magic against us also, he liked to send us into different worlds and make us find each other, it was like a show to him watching us scatter and try to find each other once again. He would always bring us back after an hour or so, because Micheal would threaten to tell Father about this and he would actually believe that Micheal would, even though Micheal never really would.

Micheal was always the big brother, the one who would tell one to shut up and would protect all of us before himself. He would make sure that if it was dark and we were on earth, he would risk his own life to find us and bring us back to heaven before Father found out. I remember this one time I nearly fell off of heaven and landed on earth, but before I could fall all the way off, Micheal had run as fast as he could and caught me. I was afraid that I was going to die if I had fallen because I was still learning how to fly and I was not very good at it. He held me into his arms and made sure that I was okay for a few minutes before asking if I was going insane or if I was already out of my mind for getting that close to the edge. Micheal was the one that if Gabriel was being mean to me, he would punch him and make me feel better and make me smile.

Then it was Lucifer, he was my big brother as well as all of the other boys, but sometimes I felt like he was my little brother, the one that was the same age as me. He is the first thing I remember from my life because he was the one that taught me how to fly and how to do all kind of things to fend off Gabriel, he was the one that I really had fun with in heaven. We did all kinds of things like flying together and racing to one cloud and black. When we were little he promised that we would be together like this, happy and carefree forever. He wanted to make sure that we were both happy and never separated from one another. But everything has to change.

" Vicky?" Castiel said as I had been resting myself in the shadows of a poll. I must have really zoned out because Castiel was shaking me around, his hands on my shoulders very tightly. His eyes were showing that he was worried about me.

" Yes Cas?" I said trying to act like there had been nothing wrong since the beginning.

" Are you alright, you were not answering what I called to you. I thought that you had been hurt." I smiled as I thought of this, he had been worried about me.

" I am fine Cas. I was just thinking that is all." I smiled.

" You have been thinking a lot. I love the little face that you make when you are thinking really hard, but then again I love everything about you." He blushed a little as he looked to the ground, I felt my face flush from his words.

" Everything huh?" I was trying to push him, just to see what he would say.

" Yes, from you personality to your beautiful eyes." He blushed been more.

" What are you trying to say Castiel?" I said, not really knowing what I was going to get for an answer.

" Well. . . uhh." He took a deep breath. " I love you Vicky." I took there in shock trying to think to say back to him,