Chapter 19

Dear Melisende,

I hear that you have finally found our Commander and that you are both now in Denerim. First, I would like to say that I miss you but that I am also very cross with you for going off on an adventure without me. I do understand, though. You are a loyal friend and that is one of the many things I love about you.

Now, the hard part. When I returned to the Keep, everything was upside down. Anders did his best to keep order, but rumors of our Commander abandoning Amaranthine abounded. Faced without a hero to lead them, many soldiers and recruits lost heart and deserted while others simply stopped caring.

I've already gotten ahead of myself. Forgive me. I hope this letter will not be too confusing to follow, for there is no time to rewrite it.

I suppose the rumors must have reached the Chantry and the Circle of Magi long before other parts, for one day a Templar named Rolan came to Vigil's Keep, demanding to join the Wardens. I was not there at the time, so this is just second hand hearsay on my part, relayed to me mostly by Oghren. In any case, Anders was suspicious, believing Rolan was there only to keep an eye on him, an apostate in the eyes of the Chantry. It was thanks to Tristan and King Alistair that Anders was conscripted into the Grey Wardens, or so I'm told. I was not there when that happened either. With Tristan absent, the Chantry probably thought it a good time to send one of their own over. Anders couldn't exactly refuse Rolan, and much to his dismay, Rolan survived the Joining.

Rolan had followed Anders around on a few expeditions by the time I returned. Then one day, there were reports of a small group of darkspawn on the plains. Anders himself went to check it out, along with Justice and a few Grey Warden recruits, Rolan included. Might I say now that I am glad that I did not go along, because I surely would be dead, for what happened, forgive me Melisende, but the details are too gruesome to write down. I would rather tell you in person. Nobody knows exactly what transpired, I only know what they told me – all the Wardens dead, except for Anders, who is missing. The strange thing is, there were Templars there too, and all of them were also dead.

We, who know Anders best, are all worried for him. I can't help but think, with his great love of freedom, well, could Anders have been responsible for the massacre? It is a little hard to fathom our comedian friend being capable of such a thing, but if Justice had anything to do with it as well… I just don't know what to think. As for Justice, he is a spirit, is he not? I am surprised he did not take a new body… Kristoff's was getting to be rather decayed and disgusting. So, what happened to Justice is as great a mystery as what happened to Anders.

And so the Keep erupted into further chaos, leaderless and with countless rumors floating about. We (we being I, Sigrun, Velanna, and Oghren – when he was not drunk) did our best to keep order, to reassure the other Grey Wardens that the massacre was out of the ordinary, that nothing like that would happen again.

And then the Orlesian Warden came. Clotilde Caron is her name. She came seeking an audience with Tristan. However, seeing the chaotic order of Ferelden's Wardens, hearing of the massacre on the plains, she took it upon herself to impose her will upon us all, taking control over the Keep. She even went so far as to declare Anders a fugitive. An error, I am sure, if there ever were one. I swear if Tristan does not return soon, she will make herself Commander. I would not normally speak ill of a lady, but, for Andraste's sake, you both need to return home, and soon! She is driving everyone crazy.

Now, I have gone on long enough. By the way, if you hear of Fergus being attacked by bandits, it is true, but lucky for him, I was there. He is fine. Sammy is fine as well, but he whines incessantly about missing his sword lessons.

Please, come home soon.

-Nathaniel.

…

Dear Nathaniel,

I was so glad to receive a letter from you, but I must admit, it was nothing I ever expected. Anders is gone, declared a fugitive, really? Anders is a good friend. He is a good man, I cannot believe him capable of what he is accused of. Those poor Warden recruits, too. I even sort of feel sorry for the Templars, as odd as it was for them to be there. As for Justice, I don't know much about these things, but Tristan suggested that perhaps Justice found his way back to the Fade. I can only hope that whatever happened to Justice, he has found some measure of peace.

Anders gone. I still cannot believe it. I smell another adventure. Yes, yes. I can see you frowning at me now. Do not fret. I am coming straight home, with, you will be happy to know, our beloved Commander. He is our Commander. No Orlesian witch can take that away from him.

I apologize for such a short letter, after the lengthy one you wrote, but I must prepare to leave. I will see you soon. I eagerly anticipate our reunion.

-Melisende.

…

Brenna,

I never liked writing letters. I never liked writing anything at all. I avoided it at all costs. Words – meaningful words – don't come easily to me, whether through my hand guiding the pen or through my mouth. But this one time, I've made an exception, for you.

I must admit, when I first saw you again all those months ago, you annoyed me. I can see you pouting right now, but please, keep reading. I don't want this effort to go to naught. I was still angry with you for stealing from me, both my innocence and an object of great meaning. Yes, I am man enough to admit that I felt used, horribly, but pleasurably, used, if that makes sense? Anyway, you surprised me. You offered me a place to spend the night, out of the cold. You treated me with kindness I did not deserve. I was a jerk and you knew it.

Then we met again, unexpectedly, in Gwaren. We had fun, didn't we? But you knew I wasn't myself. You hovered over me with your concern and I brushed you off countless times. You saved my life and I still managed to mistreat you.

Brenna, you amaze me. You had every reason to hate me that horrible day at the Dalish camp. Instead, you helped me realize how foolish I was being. Yes, a lot of things went wrong because of me, but a lot of it, too, was out of my hands. You helped me to see that I also did a lot of good, and that I could make amends for the wrongs.

And then we were parted. I never got the chance to truly apologize to you. To speak of our connection – because Brenna, we do have one. If things had been different from the start, we might have grown up together, known each other our whole lives. As it is, I already feel like I've known you forever.

I could go on and on about us, apologizing to you for everything, but I'd rather do that in person. So please, come to Vigil's Keep whenever you can. It could always use another merchant. And I would welcome having another friend around me.

Er, my hand is tiring quickly, but no doubt you are wondering what happened with Siofra. One evening, not long after we arrived in Denerim, I came to her room, to check on her and I ran straight into a man. He was cloaked and as he fell back, his hood fell. When I think back on his face now, I realize that I have seen him before, when I was a child. Anyway, to my surprise, Siofra called out for me. She had awakened. The man left as soon as I turned my back. The man had healed her, had cast a spell on Ronan so that he did not remember him entering the room. Nobody noticed him entering or leaving the palace, except for me. His identity, his motives are gnawing at me, but for now, all that matters is that Siofra is alright.

I have included a letter here dictated to me by Siofra to Silas. I hope all is going well with the clan and that you have been welcomed there. I don't know when Siofra and Ronan will return to their clan, but Alistair has offered them to stay through the winter.

I have droned on long enough. It seems the Keep has suffered in my absence. Just another consequence of my foolish wandering. But, I will not dwell on that. I will make amends. I am heading to the Keep very soon. Please come when you can.

-Tristan.