This one is very short I 're going going going to the ending. So enjoy pieces)
A month without Helga had passed uncovering broken pieces of Arnold's attitudes. Now he was a guy living in a little town who had forgotten his umbrella, the guy who doesn't see any silver lining upon iron clouds.
The day Helga left town Arnold returned home with her little diary in his pocket. It was a bit of a struggle to read it at first, because Helga's words hurt Arnold's pure naive heart like a high pitched voice would scratch his eardrums. Every page was full of rage and anger, it revolted Arnold, it made him want to throw the diary away, but he continued reading, as if making up for his offense. Closer to the end of the diary he however realized that something inside of him begins to see the world within her eyes. Just a little, tiny piece of understanding - and she didn't seem that revolting anymore. Things she wrote were not only her complaints and exaggerations. They were her truth. They were her world, the real world.
Helga's diary once opened a door to another side of living, and even though he really wanted never to see the imperfect and cruel side of things, now he couldn't deny that this vision was the only truth left for him to cling to.
Carla and him broke up 3 weeks ago. Needless to say why and how, and he'd never thought of her since. He was too overwhelmed by the smashing tide of new sights and realities.
Life slowly faded before his eyes. Without his optimism Arnold lost all that had made him unique. He'd never been so lost before, because unlike many other teenagers he had pretty peaceful teens, full of joy and safety, and he had no idea how to deal with things without looking on a bright side which he happened not to see now.
But Helga sure had an idea.
Every night over and over again words from her diary ran through his mind. They had destroyed his world, and still Arnold felt that this was the right thing to happen to him. He felt some strange joy when killing an old day-dreaming self with Helga's simple and heartbreaking reality. He was driving himself to the edge, falling lower than low, knowing at the same time that this desperation is the only true thing he has now.
Although there was some other true thing he tried not to think of this days.
Helga herself.
He knew she'd been living with this for so many years. And unlike him she would fight anyway. He thought that for Helga no victory ever mattered. Good old Helga would fight just not to let someone take over.
How much power she has...He's never like that - this ear-tearing truth voice. Unlike him, she was always the one and only Helga G. It's amazing how he'd never seen the actual HER, and seen only details. But now he could see it all at once.
He was knocked down, breathless, by the whole Helga.
Evil.
Eyes sparkling with anger. Furious, angular, loud, nasty, sarcastic, rough,abrupt,so bitter,poignant, so sober, and so true. The real someone. Individual. Self-sufficient. Whole. So Helga. Amazing, from this new angle.
All his world seemed to him one-dimensional now, like a pretty picture in a gray office. But she was the flesh and blood.
He remembered how passion would sometimes burn in her eyes though she tried to put it off so no one would have an idea.
How many fights have you stood on a defensive, girl? - thought he.
It wasn't like a crush like with Lila and Carla and many more.
It was..like a craving, a starvation, a vital need.
No butterflies in a stomach, no tension, no cheesy dreams.
She was just the answer he needed to survive in the whole new universe.
She was in the middle of something that felt like a thunder. she was the eye of the storm.
So day after day he tried to figure what to tell her, how to tell, where to find her, should or shouldn't he do it..He gave up thinking about the future. He didn't see the point. Everything seemed just rotten, stinking and fake. He had almost completely turned into a vegetable when Gerald interfered.
"Hey man, I see this whole thing is killin' ya. I never thought I would do this, but..it feels like i have to. Some time ago I called Phoebe to tell her I'd come to visit her, you know our usual stuff, but she suddenly began making some stupid excuses. You know her, she can't lie properly. She agreed to do anything only to keep me away from her flat. So it made me think...that Helga might actually be at Phoebe's"
He didn't need any other words. Two days after he stood in front of Phoebe's door. He didn't actually know why and what, the only thing he repeated in mind was "I came to apologize, I came to apologize, I came to apologize".
She was surprised to see him, he was heartbroken when, invited to come inside, he saw no one else there.
"Phoebe, listen...I..I know it might sound crazy but I thought Helga was here. You know, her parents actually told some rubbish about her being accepted to some university in Alaska and so on, and no one seem to worry about her...Well, still I am worried and...It is obvious the whole thing is a lie and she ran away because of the things I and others had said and...yes, yes I know she isn't a baby, she's a smart girl and she must have found a very good solution, some safe place..So this is why I'm here, I really thought that she'd come to you..."
Disappointed and powerless Arnold collapsed to the sofa.
"This whole situation is driving me crazy, Phoebe. I used to be so calm and so good with anything that comes to me, but now everything is so ruined...I believed in things which never existed, and my dumbness hurt Helga so hard.."
He raised his eyes suddenly, looking at Phoebe's face.
"Ooh, sorry, what am I doing here? Came to your flat, now moaning at your sofa..I'm so sorry!"
He jumped up and hurried to the door.
"Ok, nice seeing you, if you see Helga tell her that I'm sorry. Sure she wont believe it, oh crap, anyway. Bye, Phoebe"
"Arnold wait"
"What's it, Phoebe?"
"I want to show you something"