The final chapter! I am so sorry I noticed that the site have eaten many letters, Gosh, I'll re-upload whole thing when you guys read this song/poem is written by me.

It was late in the evening when Arnold reached Phoebe's house, and now, when he was following her, the street was jet black, as clouds covered the moon, and chilly. He was too absorbed to notice anything around him, still the atmosphere was giving him goose bumps. Or was it just fear of facing that thing again?

Some sound was getting louder. He couldn't figure out what it was yet, but Phoebe was obviously leading him right to it. After a while he realized that they're going to a club where some band was playing live. Arnold was puzzled even more to see that Phoebe, who previously was just going before him saying no word, now stopped and turned to him.

-Guess, I have to tell you before you see it.
-Tell me what?
-About her.

Phoebe looked concerned when she began:
She came to me that night, and she was...Well, I really expected her to be furious, shouting, or crying hysterically, you know, she's always been so emotional...but she was just cold and she avoided to look at me and was silent most of the time. This made me think what I don't really know this new Helga, you know, all those years since we used to be really close...I didn't quite know what to do. She just sat in the kitchen, then she slept, then she sat on a floor and stared to the floor. That's it. She said no word about you, she wasn't writing anything, she was just...being.
I was so scared and I didn't know what to do and how to behave and it was so hard to be like that,really,really hard and besides, I really had to go, I couldn't spent the rest of me life with her,so I went to university the other morning, yes, -now Phoebe was now talking faster and faster-yes, it was a bit selfish, but after all, it all turned out great, so who's gonna blame me? You know,this guys whom I helped a lot, they're kinda musicians, and hey were playing that night and I thought - that's maybe a good idea to cheer Helga up,as she likes music so much, I know I was pathetic, but anyway, she wasn't saying a word so I just grabbed her hand and took her there, we came earlier and she saw the guys jemming and I don't know how it happened but she just started murmuring something under her breath, when it got louder, I thought she's getting crazy at first, but then realized she just sang in tune, just because she was so sad, and a song was sad, and so she just stood and stood and sang to this music, and then Will spotted this and came closer and...Gosh, this is just to long, just come and see.

She looked a little scared, and guilty, and proud at the same time. -What is this supposed to mea...-He suddenly felt like something bumped into his rushed to his heart, then to his head so he could hear its hum in his ears.

-I made one bubble blower

I was nine, I was sad

Then I made a big covey

I gave it a message to send

This was too sudden. He was OK with the fact that Helga was in a band, it was about some distant Helga, Helga from school who was always somewhere in the shadow. All that information didn't touch him at all as if he didn't come here to raise information about the girl. He wasn't though OK with the fact that a familiar but unexpectedly rough and strong voice would fill all of the space around him, everything and everywhere with the presence of that girl in a diary, of real Helga, so solid and depressed. It was overwhelming, almost like his guts were torn inside out, but he couldn't go away. They finally got in.

-They should've told you I was there

I told them to and made them fly

To one I thought that would take care

But saw them burning in the sky

She was there - her hair blond again, clear blue eyes unfocused, movements slow and was absolutely conquered by her memories, and it seemed that the audience was absolutely conquered by her. There were only about 50 people, but it seemed they already knew the song and the girl,and came here to see that again.

-There's no bubble anymore

there's no you, and almost no me

Unlike so many times before

I know I'm alone against the dim

There's no sense but I still am

Those things you've never seen me be

There's the truth I owe to them

I'm not a girl of your sweet dream

This Sharp and cold words were, as it appeared, the last for tonight's gig. Phoebe looked at Arnold obviously waiting for his cries, apologies, shocked expressions or irritated comments. But he said no word. He didn't want to talk to Phoebe, at this point, her very presence was driving him mad because she was here, and she didn't understand, though she was a friend, all this years...Why was she here and not Helga? Where did that girl go again? Why is she always running away from him when he needs to figure all those things out?
He left Phoebe at mid-sentence, still frustrated and without an idea there he was going. He went through a hall and saw a changing room door. He knew whom he'd find there the moment before he actually opened the door.

The too stood in silence just like that day in a playground for ages, as it seemed. Neither of them could think of something to say, and what a word should it be, after all that had been said before.
Then Helga made a strange movement, as if she wanted to run for one second but then had made herself stay still. Arnold 's heart dropped. But before he could actually say a word, Helga turned her back at him and began examining the table in front of her.
-That's such a stupid song, wonder why don't they just get rid of me, -said she in a low voice, still not looking at him. They were silent for some more minutes.
-You came here...-began the girl after a while, thinking that it's better to go straight to the thing so that it at least would be fast, whatever it could be.
You just cropped up, somehow, after all that mess, I thought it's all over and clear, but you're here, for some reason. What's that?

Another pause emerged.
- I have no idea - said Arnold finally.

Helga turned and looked at his face. That it was quite a challenge, but curiosity took over wasn't sure how to behave in this situation, so she just stared at him, waiting for any continuation.

-Helga, look, the only thing which is clear, which I know is the right thing to do is to say how sorry I am. Though I don't actually know why I am so sorry. I mean, that day when we...eeeerr...had an argument, I thought about it a lot and...I had all the reasons inside of my head, reasons to hate you, reasons to say all this words, reasons not to feel guilty, but anyway I did, I do feel sorry and it is driving me so mad that I actually came here to find you.

-That's dumb, - said Helga simply, - but continue, I believe you have some...phycological stuff to say, you always do.

Arnold smirked. -I know you're going to be mad at me, but once I came into your house and...well, it was no one there and I felt kinda stressed somehow and.. and I hand arond for a while, I went to your room, but you weren't there, and I felt very down, and then..then I found your diary.

Helga sighted loudly.
- Look, I'm sorry, I told you, just let me finish the whole thing, I'm not going to tease you for it or anything - said Arnold fast. This little thing...God, I wish you knew how much I hated it. It was like a man dieing from a horrible disease whom I can't help who creeps the hell out of me but whom I should look after. This little pink book - Arnold took it away from his pocket and threw at a table near which Helga stood - made me a maniac, made me nothing in my girlfriend's eyes, completely destroyed my life and now...Now - I want the answers. How come you always destroy me, Helga?

He finally raised his eyes from the floor and looked at her face

-So this is why you came? To humiliate me and say what an awful creature I am once again? There's no need,I don't care. But what ..what was the point in making excuses then? - Helga frowned and put on a dull expression to hide emotions. "Come that may" said her face.
Arnold smiled at her sad and puzzled face.
-I don't mean..that this was any bad destruction, Helga..Even you don't know how much power you posses...You know what? It's so hard to explain, but ...I was vain and naive and dull, and you weren't. You never were. So I guess I needed some Helga - he finished, still smiling

-I don't understand - she said quietly

-Me too - he snorted,
I just wanted to tell you...It was such a dull life without seeing those things you see, when life has not only its bright side...You know, since I read your little book everything is like...more real.

-Still no idea what you're talking about -this time Helga sounded impatiently

-Ok. I'll try to make it clear. I read your diary, and after a while I realized what an animal I've been, and I actually come to the understanding of some really interesting features your mind possesses. I'm like a newborn, Helga. You showed me this totally different world of yours, and now I know that ...that some people aren't that they seem as they have only one side, always, whatever they do, whatever games they play...You're not plastic, and now I realize that this is so vital..So I came here because I need it, I need...

-To talk to me?-Helga looked shocked

-Yeah, like not only now, but like...from time to time...you know...every day...like I'd call you and you'd tell me how did those girl tease you again and what do you think about those clouds and things...you know, like...sharing?

-Kinda psychologist thing or what? - Helga began laughing

-More like...a friend...you know -Arnold blushed

-Gotcha -laughed Helga- A friend! No, no, I got your idea - grinned she when he tried to explain something - i'm OK with the scheme. And she gave him a sly glance - so talk to me!