Hi All! Once again I own nothing that you will read below, just appreciation for all the reviews I have received as well as the imagination that lead me to using characters from the wonderful show Sanctuary for my own personal amusement. Major thanks to my beta Ari for her wonderful talent as well as to a fellow Helen/John shipper over on the forum at gateworld. Thank you so much aerilon452, your help was much appreciated!
Helen stood silently staring into space, lost in the void that was left by John. She was snapped back to reality by Will's voice.
"Magnus." Will tried, gently placing his hand on Helen's arm. The dead look on her face scared him more that he thought possible.
"I need to be alone Will." She didn't look at him as she stepped away from him and left the lab, leaving the others to deal with the aftermath of the attack. They stared after her as she disappeared around the corner, not quite believing what they saw.
Helen knew that it was only a matter of time until they started talking about her and she wanted to be as far away as possible before she broke down. She passed Kate in the hall without acknowledgment; there was a haunted look on her face as she walked through the abnormal enclosures. As she got farther away she heard them start talking in low voices.
Helen made her way to the Nubbin enclosure with the intention of grabbing one of the little furballs and taking it with her to her room. She stood at the viewing window for a moment and watched the creatures ambling around, her mind going back to the day Ashley had said that she was going to keep one as a pet. Shaking away the memory she quickly entered her security code and walked into the freezing room, a humorless smile crossed her face when all of the nubbins went into camouflage mode. She slowly squatted down and held out her hand, waiting for one of them to decide to investigate. Once she had picked up the tiny Nubbin she exited the enclosure, locking the door behind her and gently placing the creature in a containment unit for transport to her room.
It wasn't until she was curled up on her bed with the Nubbin snuggling up to her chest that she let go. Tears poured down her cheeks and soaked her pillow as she mentally relived their last moments together, the emotions she had kept bottled up inside for over a hundred years hitting her full force. She was alone in the world, Ashley was gone and so was John.
She didn't know how long she stayed like that; her only sign of how much time had passed was the changing sunlight as it filtered in through the curtains. After what felt like hours she heard a gentle knock on her door, the slight shuffling sound outside gave her a clue as to who it was. She gently picked up the now sleeping Nubbin and placed it on her pillow, her heart aching as it continued its slumber as if nothing was wrong with the world. She walked over to the door and opened it to find the Big Guy holding a tray, his concern evident in the amount of food on the plate.
"You need to eat something." He growled.
Helen stepped back and allowed him to enter; he was the only one she would ever allow to see her like this. He set the tray on her bedside table and grunted at the sleeping Nubbin on her pillow before leaving the room, pulling the door closed behind him with a gentle click. The tea's scent filled the room and gave Helen a small amount of comfort. Moments later Helen was curled up on the other side of her bed with the teacup in hand, taking a sip every now and then as she tried to force herself to care about how much damage the abnormal had done to her Sanctuary. It didn't seem to matter anymore.
Days passed before she was able to let the Big Guy take the Nubbin back to its habitat, she didn't want to be alone but it wasn't fair to the creature to keep it isolated from its family. She didn't leave her room until the fifth day after John's departure when the sound of will arguing with the Big Guy outside her door forced her to get out of bed.
She opened the door and Will stared at her for a moment. She was in a long nightgown and her hair was a mass of tangled curls around her shoulders. He quickly realized that he was gawking and forced himself to look away as he entered the room. Once he regained his composure he turned to face her as she closed the door behind them. Helen walked over to the chair she had placed facing the window and sat down, not caring if Will joined her or not. The sound of another chair scraping along the carpet told her that she was in for an intervention.
"Magnus, what happened wasn't your fault."
She took a deep breath and interrupted Will before he could carry on.
"I know that Will. It doesn't change the fact that it happened." Helen refused to meet his eyes, turning her gaze to the sunrise outside her window instead. "I know things have been difficult and I really appreciate you all giving me some time."
Will waited for her to continue and sighed when he realized that was all he was going to get out of her. He leaned forward and tried to get her to look at him, his hand gentle as he placed it on her arm.
"You mourning Druitt alone isn't going to do yourself or anyone else any good." He told her. "You know that we're all here for you if you ever need to talk, all you have to do is ask." Seeing his efforts were doing nothing he left her alone to her thoughts, closing the door behind him as he went.
Hours later when Henry walked into her study he nearly jumped when he saw that Helen was sitting at her desk working on new reports. The dark circles under her eyes were the only indication of her grief.
"Henry, thank you for getting everything taken care of so quickly, I trust there were no problems with getting the security systems reset."
Henry stared at Helen for a moment before starting himself out of it.
"Yeah, no problem!" He said enthusiastically, a tight smile on his face as he tried not to show how worried he had been. "I hate to be the one to tell you that we're going to have a pretty high energy bill this month. That thing sucked juice like nothing I've ever seen before."
The corners of Helen's mouth twitched.
"That's to be expected. Thank you Henry."
Henry knew he had been dismissed and grabbed one of the many acquisition reports on the corner of her desk before he made his exit. He knew it was going to take time, but he had faith that soon enough Helen was going to bounce back.
The rest of the morning passed quickly until Helen called everyone into her study for a meeting. After learning about some new residents and discussing a few reports Helen made an announcement.
"I know that you all were expecting me to stay here for the next few days but I've decided to follow up on reports of a nest of Luduan in China."
"Luduan?" Will's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to think of where he had heard that name before. Helen stood up and handed each of them a file before starting to explain.
"According to Chinese mythology, a Luduan was a small creature that could detect the truth. It was said that in the Qing Dynasty the Qianlong Emperor surrounded his throne with them in order to properly subdue his subjects. These Abnormals are very rare; I've only ever encountered two of them due to their incredibly short life span. A nest of them has been unheard of."
"You're going after a bunch of furry little lie detectors?"
Helen's smile didn't quite reach her eyes as she nodded.
"I've already filed my flight plan; I trust that you all will be able to handle things here for a few days?"
They all nodded and tried to smile reassuringly at Helen as they got to their feet to go carry out their various tasks. Helen waited for everyone to exit the room before calling the Big Guy back, waiting until he had closed the door behind him and was standing next to her desk before telling him why she had asked him to stay.
"You know me well enough by now to know that I have no intention of going to China."
He nodded at her words and bared his teeth, not liking where this was headed.
"I've received reports of animal attacks in the Bruce Peninsula National Park in Ontario. Several tourists have died in recent days and all the evidence suggests that a Wendigo has taken up residence near the Grotto."
"It's too dangerous." He growled at her. He had almost died the last time they had tried to deal with a Wendigo and he knew that she was in no shape to take one on by herself.
Helen quickly stepped around her desk to stand in front of him, her eyes pleading with him to understand.
"You of all people can understand why I need to do this."
He grimaced at her before nodding in understanding.
"When will you leave?"
Helen took a deep breath before looking down at her shoes.
"In a little over an hour."
They stared at each other for a moment before Helen impulsively took a step closer and wrapped her arms around him in a quick hug. The probability of her not surviving was far too great not to show some form of her appreciation. He stiffened in her embrace and she pulled back, a sad smile on her face as she went about setting things up for her absence.
When her plane landed four hours later Helen had no problems getting to the park, her contact had been very specific about the location and she was able to get there before the sun went down. She quickly set up a perimeter in a large clearing near the cliff, experience told her that the creature would be out as soon as night fell and a woman on her own would make an appetizing target. A normal case would call for tranquilizer darts, but when facing a Wendigo, extermination would be her only course of action.
There was only one thing that Helen hadn't counted on, and that was the sudden downpour of a summer rainstorm. Visibility was poor and the frequent thunder claps would mask any sound the creature would make in its approach. She stood with her back to a tree, her eyes searching the clearing for any movement as she waited for the coming attack. She wasn't disappointed, a few moments later the creature stepped out of the tree line, dragging its sharp claws on the ground and making a chilling clicking noise in its throat as it advanced on her.
Helen snapped into action and rapidly fired three at the creature before it was on her. The Wendigo roared in anger and grabbed her, twisting her arm until she dropped the weapon before throwing her out into the clearing. She landed hard and rolled a few feet through the mud, tempted to just stay down and let the creature have her. She dug her fingers into the ground and waited for the death blow.
"Mom, get up!"
Ashley's voice came from all around her and Helen quickly looked up, half expecting to see her daughter standing in front of her. Lightning lit up the clearing and she saw was the Wendigo slowly stalking towards her.
"Mom!"
"I can't." She cried as she closed her eyes. "I'm sorry."
"You have to!"
Something in her daughter's voice forced her to get a grip and fight back. She quickly got to her feet and scrambled to her gun, spinning around and taking the safety off in one smooth motion. Her knuckles turned white as the Wendigo came to a stop less than five feet away, its teeth bared and claws at the ready to tear her apart.
"What are you waiting for?" Helen screamed, brandishing her gun at the creature. "Come and get me!"
The creature snarled at her and she pulled the trigger once, the bullet digging deep into the Wendigo's chest before it swiped the gun out of her hand. She cried out in pain as it split open the back of her hand and took a step back only to run into a tree trunk. She pressed back into it while applying pressure to the cuts and tried to formulate another plan in her mind, her eyes on the Wendigo as it moved in for another swipe. There was no way out, it was over.
"I'm sorry Ashley." She whispered before she closed her eyes and waited for the blinding pain, the heavy rain fall and her labored breathing were the only sounds in the clearing. A sort of peace filled her as she took what she thought would be her last breath, but the sudden sound of someone teleporting into the clearing jolted her from her inner reflection. Her eyes snapped open and focused on a face she never thought she would see again.
He was standing behind the Wendigo, the sudden sound of his appearance drew the creature's attention from her to its new advisory and the creature turned around to face him. Lightning flashed again and it lit up the murderous look on his face, there was no way he was going to let the creature have her.
John struck quickly, launching himself towards the creature and teleported to its other side to land a devastating blow to its unprotected back. The Wendigo roared in pain and anger as it swiped its claws at him only to catch empty air as John teleported away. There was a flash of silver as John appeared at the creatures' side, growling dangerously as he buried his knife deep into it. The Wendigo snarled and spun, catching him in the chest with its closed fist and knocking him on his back. It reached for the knife still stuck in its side and threw it away before pouncing on the spot John had previously occupied.
Helen watched as John appeared on top of the creature, his hands going around its head to deliver a savage twist that broke its neck. The now dead creature fell to the ground with John on top of it and he looked up from the corpse to Helen with the same murderous look on his face. Less than an instant later she felt strong arms wrap around her and the world spun around them.
They landed in the empty Grotto, thunder echoing into its dark depths as lightning flashed through the sky. For a moment Helen hung disoriented in his arms, her fingertips digging into his biceps as she tried to regain her sense of ground. John looked down into her eyes and saw the anger in them. Without warning she ripped herself out of his arms and slapped him, swaying slightly as she fought the dizziness that accompanied teleportation.
"How could you do that to me?" she sobbed, angry tears spilled down her cheeks as she raised her hand to do it again. John growled and caught her arm in mid swing, using her momentum and instability to jerk her body into his.
"You only get one." He snarled, slamming her back into the wall of the cave. "What the hell were you thinking?"
Fury flashed through him and the creature inside of him screamed in anger. He had to struggle not to give in to its desire to punish her. He involuntarily tightened his grip on her arm and Helen let out a sob; without warning she reached up and wrapped her free hand around the back of his neck before dragging his lips down to hers.
It was like kissing lightning, the adrenalin from the fight and the feel of her tongue sliding along his arousing him in a way he hadn't experienced in over a hundred years. He let go of her arm and reached down to grab the back of her thighs, jerking her up until she was in the perfect position to feel what she had done to him. She pulled her head back and gasped as he ground into her, making a strangled noise in the back of her throat as he swallow the sound with another bruising kiss. Soon it wasn't enough, both his and the creatures need to have her overrode all thought; he quickly reached down to get rid of the clothing separating them and groaned as he entered her, her grip tightened painfully on his shoulders as he started to move.
There was no gentleness in the action as he slammed his hips into hers; the rough rock digging into her back forced her to arch into him with each jerk of his hips, taking him deeper and deeper until she could feel his harsh thrusts in her soul. Hot tears rolled down to her neck and John hungrily lapped them up, his tongue dancing on her skin as he raced towards completion. All he could concentrate on was the feel of her fingernails digging into his shoulders and the sound of skin on skin. He leaned down and harshly bit her neck, marking her as his for the world to see. The fury inside of him dissipated slowly as he took her against the cave wall until an almost silent whimper snapped his focus back to Helen.
All of his animalistic urges left him and he froze as he realized what the beast inside of him had made him do. His heart nearly stopped as Helen trembled in his arms, her head buried in his shoulder and her tears hot against his damp skin. Shame filled him and he moved to pull away, stopped only by Helen's wavering plea.
"Don't stop." John couldn't believe his ears. Helen raised her head and met his gaze; he stared into her eyes for what seemed like an eternity before she took a deep shuddering breath. "Please. Don't stop."
His heart tightened in his chest as her words sunk in. He slowly slid his hands up from her thighs to give her better support as she locked her ankles behind his back and rocked her hips against his.
Helen knew it was wrong but she didn't care. The feel of his flesh gliding along hers had awakened the part of her that she had buried the day she had found out he had become a killer. She moaned as John started trailing kisses from the mark on her neck up to her ear, taking a sharp breath as he gently nibbled on the lobe before his lips found their way to hers. The tenderness in his kiss forced her to remember the reason why she had loved him in the first place. No one had ever made her feel the way that John did. She gasped into his mouth as he slowly started moving again, ecstasy coursing through her veins as he took them higher with each stroke.
Helen reached her peak first, crying out as she dug her fingernails into him and buried her face in his shoulder. She closed her eyes and a quiet keening sound escaped her lips as he kept rocking his hips. John held out for as long as he could while she broke apart in his arms, keeping his movements at a slow and torturous rate until he couldn't hold back anymore. The feel of him coming inside her set Helen off again and she sunk her teeth into his shoulder, whimpering in the aftershocks of their coupling.
They stood like that for several moments before he gently pulled out and set her on her feet, he took a few steps back and started to fix his clothes, keeping his eyes on the ground as she did the same. Helen quickly pulled up her pants and tried to do them up, her hands trembling as she fumbled with the now useless button; John had literally ripped her clothes of.
After they were dressed they stared at each other for a moment before John opened his arms to her. She quickly closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his torso, fresh tears filling her eyes as he held her tightly in his arms.
"I thought you were dead." She said, her voice stronger than it had been since he had brought them to the cave. John buried his face in her hair and pressed a kiss to her temple
"I'm sorry." He whispered, pulling back and leading her over to the cave wall again. Together they sunk to the ground and John pulled Helen into his lap, the beast inside of him strangely silent as he held her in his arms.
Helen gently reached out and slid her hand into his, twining their fingers together before bringing them to her lips. She gently kissed his bruised knuckles before lowering their joined hands into her lap, her thumb gently stroking his as she leaned back into his chest.
Helen's breathing soon evened out and she fell asleep in his arms, her head resting against his and her heartbeat steady against his chest. He kissed her temple again and leaned his head back to rest against the wall; lowering his gaze to their hands he tried to imagine what life would have been like if he had never been taken over by the monster inside of him.
They would have gotten married sooner than he had anticipated; the fact that Helen was carrying his child would have demanded it. He smiled at the thought of Ashley in the 1800's, finding it hard to believe that their tough as nails daughter would have fit in well into that timeframe. As if she could sense his train of thought, Helen shifted against him slightly and a sad but peaceful smile crossed her face.
Hours passed as he held her in his arms and he spent the time memorizing each line of her face and picking out the features that she had passed on to their daughter. The shape of her eyes and the slight dimples when she smiled came to mind but what really struck him were Helen's hands. Ashley had inherited her mother's long slender fingers, capable of saving so many lives as well as taking them if needed. Ashley had been a lot like her mother, strong, independent, lovable, and beautiful.
Helen tightened her grip on his hand and sighed, snuggling deeper into his shoulder as if to try and distract him from the thoughts in his mind. It seemed to John as if she hadn't had a moment's worth of sleep since he had teleported out of her lab almost a week before. Her reaction to his death was more than enough to make him wonder how he could have let the beast get the better of him. All he had ever wanted was right here in his arms and pain filled him as he realized what his next step would be; he had no choice but to let her go. He couldn't control the beast any more than she could control her impulse to save every creature or human she met.
Helen stirred in his arms and opened her eyes, a light sheen of tears shimmering in them as she met his gaze.
"It wasn't a dream." She whispered in awe, letting go of his hand to gently touch his cheek. John leaned into her caress, his eyes not leaving hers as he pressed a kiss to her wrist.
"How did you know I needed you?" She asked.
"I can't explain it." He said, running his hand up her back to her neck. "A voice inside of me told me that I had to get to you."
He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and breathing in her scent. She raised her head and gently pressed her lips to his, breaking away after less than a moment of contact and then burying her face in his chest. They held each other tightly for a few more moments before John pulled them both to their feet, dreading what he had to do next. Helen seemed to sense his intent and tears immediately started to pour down her cheeks
"You can't leave me." She begged him, her whole body shaking with each sob.
"I can't stay... it's not safe." He whispered, pulling her into his arms and gently stroking her hair until she could breathe without sobbing. "I promise I will not leave this life without you." He vowed.
He kissed her one last time, pouring all of his feelings into it before teleporting out of the cave. Helen stood in silence for a moment before her legs gave out from underneath her. She landed painfully on her knees and buried her face in her hands, her whole body shuddering as she gave into her tears.
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