AN: So, You guys might kill me for this, but I'm willing to take the risk for good story-telling.

Once again, I thank you for all of your reviews. If I had more times on my hands, I would reply to you all, but I can't do it. So, I just want you to know that I always read what you have to say and I appreciate all of you that take the time.

As you get to the end of this, you are going to either 1)Scream 2)Track me down and chase me with pitch-forks and fire or 3) Curse and stop reading my fics.

Before you do any of the a fore mentioned things, I WILL have a chapter up VERY soon. I know what has to happen and what I want to happen but I needed to stop where I stopped because I needed a fresh start for the next chapter.

I hope you Enjoy :)

Don't own 'em.

For the third time in four days, Kate Beckett woke up with Rick Castle staring at her.

"Mmm… Castle, that's creepy." She murmured groggily.

He smiled at her from the chair that he placed next to her bed. He knew her brain would catch up any second and she would, once again, be on the offensive. For now, he was content to be by her.

"I live to be creepy." He smiled. "I'm Richard Castle: Master of the Macabre."

"Hmm…" she grunted and rolled over towards him. She winced when her stitches pulled and the pain seemed to bring her cognitive abilities back.

"I'm going to kill, Lanie." She groaned, "What the hell are you doing here, Castle?"

"Beckett-sitting."

"Get out, Castle."

"No."

"Castle…" She warned.

"I'm not leaving." He replied stubbornly, "Not now, Not Ever."

"Oh, Come ON." She rolled over onto her back and looked towards the ceiling. "I'm not having this conversation with you now, Castle. I'm not feeling up to it."

"Tough."

"Castle, GET OUT." She raised her voice.

"No, Beckett."

"I'm not messing around, Rick." She growled, "LEAVE."

"I'm not leaving, Kate." He sighed. "You don't want me to follow you anymore? Fine, but I'm not going to leave you."

"What?" She asked, slightly taken back.

"That's what you're afraid of, isn't it?" He asked, "Me leaving you?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Castle, and I'm not afraid." She seethed at him, sitting against the headboard.

"Listen to me, Beckett." He started, "If you listen to me and consider what I have to say and you still want me to go, I will. All I ask is that you listen to what I have to say."

She stared at him for a second. She studied his face and found nothing but seriousness and emotion. She had a hard time denying him anything lately and she decided to give him his say.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?

"No, I'm not."

"Fine," She relented, "but if I still want you to go, you'll go?"

"Yes." He nodded, deadly serious.

"Okay, Castle." She sighed, sitting up and looking at him.

"Really?" He asked, surprised.

"Don't make me change my mind..."

"Right… I just thought it would be harder than that."

"You can thank the Vicodin later, don't test my patience."

"Right… Okay." He paused for a moment while looking at her. This was the moment that would make or break him.

"You need to understand why I was so mad at you these last few days." He sat forward to be closer to her. "So, I'm going to start from the beginning and I don't want you to say anything until I'm done."

"Okay" She agreed hesitantly.

"When I first met you, it was about the chase." He admitted, "I wanted to follow you around because I wanted you and I couldn't have you. You were going to be my greatest conquest."

"You're not doing too well on not pissing me off, Castle." Beckett cut him off.

"Hey, no interrupting." He clipped back. "After a little while of observing you, it wasn't about the chase anymore. It was about the story; why you were the person you were. After that, it evolved into a muse. I took your story and I made it my book and my vision and it was the most fun I've ever had writing a novel; it still is."

He paused and looked at her confused expression.

"Why are you telling me this, Castle?"

"I'm getting there" He promised. "Somewhere along the line it stopped being about the books all together and started to be about you. It started as a simple need to help you find your mother's killer because I could see how it hurt you. Then it became about bringing some humor into your job so that I could see you smile every once in a while… Then something extraordinary happened. My need to follow you professionally disappeared. I didn't need it anymore. I wanted it. I wanted to spend as much time around you as humanly possible. At this point I knew you; I knew you would never let me in unless you had to, so I stuck with the job."

He paused again and looked away for a moment. This was the hard part. This is what was going to send her running.

"I told myself that it was because you needed a friend and it went on like that for a while… until Demming." He sighed. "It physically hurt me to see you with him and that's when I realized that I was looking for more from our relationship than just friendship."

"Castle…" she whispered.

"Not yet." He commanded. "I ran away and tried to get over you with the worst woman I could have chosen. We weren't ever supposed to be together and we forced it twice." He admitted. "I missed you every day that summer."

"Rick,"

"Not yet, Kate." He looked at her and shook his head. "When I came back to the precinct, to you, it felt like home again, and I was happy to feel that way, even if it was for a couple of hours a day."

He paused and looked at his shoes for a moment. He didn't want to recall this part of his tale, but he had to make her see. He had to make her feel what he did.

"When you got shot, all I could think of was the stuff I didn't say; the stuff I never did with you." He admitted. "I held you for the first time that could have been our last and it won't leave me. I dream about that moment every night."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you shouldn't be sorry. None of it was your fault, and it was unfair of me to say that you gave up trying." He apologized. "You were doing what you always do; making sure the people you care about are put before yourself. It's one of the many things I love about you."

"Rick…" She gasped.

"I know. I know, Kate." He admitted. "I wasn't supposed love you, it wasn't ever my plan, but I fell in love with you hard."

She sat in stunned silence, looking at his concerned face. She didn't know what to say; she didn't know what to do. She blinked at him and opened her mouth a few times to speak before thinking better of it and closing it. She must have been a sight to see, sitting there with saucer-sized eyes. She did the only thing she could think of.

"Kate, say something." He begged, reaching over and grabbing her hand.

"I…" she stuttered. "I… would like you to leave now."

"What?" He gasped, dropping her hand.

"I need to think about this, Castle." She explained, "and I can't have you here for that."

"Beckett, please." He pleaded, "I'll take it all back if you want me to! You can forget I ever said it, I don't care, just don't shut me out, please."

"Castle, I can't just un-hear words."

"Yes! Yes you can!" He was getting frantic. "Please, Beckett, Don't kick me out. I need to be here. I need to be with you."

"That's the problem, Castle." She sighed. "I don't need you to be here with me."

He looked crest-fallen and heart-broken. She hated the look on his face, and she hated herself so much because she put it there. She was beginning to feel a sob build up within her from her lies. She needed to get him to leave, and quickly.

"Castle, go home." She choked out.

He got to his feet and looked down at her blinking furiously. His eyes were misty but he allowed one last look into her face before he would turn around and leave for good. She was beautiful. Her facial features were even and strong and he wanted to memorize her face forever. When his gaze reached her eyes, he didn't recognize the look she was giving him. It wasn't the anger he expected to see. It was something softer; more like pain. Then, it hit him like a ton of bricks; Kate Beckett was an excellent liar.

"You're lying." He stated, looking at her with disbelief.

"No, Castle, I'm not." She tried. It was getting harder and harder to breathe normally. Between the pain from her wound and the burn of unshed tears and panic, she was about to lose it. She couldn't lose it in front of Castle. She needed to escape and get away from him

She slipped out of the other side of the bed and stood unsteadily. She swayed at the sudden movements and he went to move towards her.

"No, Castle." She held up a hand. She walked past him with him staring at her and she turned before she reached the threshold of the bathroom.

"When I get out, I expect you to be gone." She declared.

Before he could answer, the door slammed and conversation ceased. Castle was at a loss. He didn't know how to proceed from here, but he knew it had to be extremely carefully. He sat on the bed and waited. There was no way he was leaving her now. He was going to get through her walls. He had to, or he might lose her forever.

Kate Beckett was screwed if he didn't leave. She was emotionally drained and physically exhausted; two qualities that assured her that she would not last long against his advances. She fled to the safety of Lanie's guest bathroom, hoping for a moment or two of clarity. She paced back and forth for a few minutes before everything caught up with her.

Instead, she got a moment or two of sheer panic attack. Her heart sped up and her breathing painfully increased its tempo. She managed to catch herself as she began to fall by letting her body slide down the glass of the shower doors.

She could feel the blood drain from her face as the throbbing in her side became unbearable. Her fast breathing became gasps that let no oxygen in and tears were leaking from her eyes. Her vision began to swim and be laden with dark spots. She was in trouble. She needed to find her voice. She needed help. She let out the only noise she could, a strangled "Castle…" before her vision went completely black.

CLICK ITTTT :)

MORE SOON, I SWEAR!

Don't kill me.