Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Taylor Swift's songs.
Note: OMGLEE, thanks for the amazing reviews! They made my morning! I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this one. Please keep reading and reviewing!
"Does anyone have anything to contribute to our domestic violence awareness week?" Mr. Schuester asked, addressing the group. They all looked at each other, none of them wanting to be the first ones to go. "Anyone?" Mr. Schue asked.
Rachel stood up. "I have something, Mr. Schuester."
"Awesome! Well, take it away, Rachel."
Rachel handed the sheet music to Brad, their pianist. She sighed and turned to face the kids. "I've chosen a classic song by the great Taylor Swift to express this week's theme," she began. "And I'd like to dedicate this song to someone. He knows who he is…well, at least, I hope he knows who he is," she said, hanging her head. She took another breath before nodding to the band, who started to play.
I took a chance, I took a shot
And you might think I'm bulletproof, but I'm not
You took a swing, I took it hard
And down here from the ground I see who you are
The Glee kids looked around the room at each other. They, so far, did not know who Rachel was singing this about. Jesse, they deduced. But wasn't Rachel over Jesse? The only other person she'd been linked to was Finn…oh, well, and Puck. Puck crossed his arms, showing off his guns, while Finn looked nervously at Quinn.
I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you love me then you cut me down
And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around
Jesse, the club decided. This song must be about Jesse. They could tell by the look on Rachel's face and the passion behind her voice. Kurt twiddled with his fingers. Maybe this awareness week was a bad idea, he thought. Maybe I shouldn't have lied to Mr. Schuester when I said why I chose Love the Way You Lie. Maybe I'm getting in over my head here…maybe…maybe…
And here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me why…
Mr. Schuester smiled slightly. Now he understood why this song pertained to this week's theme. He'd never heard the song before, not being that big of a Taylor Swift fan (although, he couldn't help to think, she's a much better role model than Britney Spears). But the more Rachel sang, the more he was enjoying this.
You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day
Well, I get so confused and frustrated
Forget what I'm trying to say, oh
Rachel was beginning to pick up more steam, looking at each of the kids in turn, giving an exceptionally burning glare at Finn. He recoiled in response to the fire burning behind her eyes, expecting them to smolder and burn into his soul. Okay, he thought. Maybe this song isn't about Jesse like I thought.
I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I got no one to believe in
You tell me that you want me, then push me around
And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around
They were all looking at Finn now, even Mr. Schuester. They now knew who this song was dedicated to, and why Rachel was giving Finn a death glare, the one she had patented (and had made a trademark symbol), after every line that she was singing.
Here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me why…
Finn had half a mind to tell Rachel exactly "why", but he couldn't just interrupt her song. He knew that if he did, she would only end up screaming at him, and probably storming out of the club for the eighty-sixth time since it started. And with Sectionals on the rise, they really couldn't afford to lose her.
Why...do you have to make me feel small
So you can feel whole inside
Why...do you have to put down my dreams
So you're the only thing on my mind
Kurt rolled his eyes slightly, pulling at a loose thread on his bag, gently tugging it free. He distracted himself by smoothing out an imaginary crease in his shirt. Mercedes leaned over and whispered to him. "You okay?" He nodded, then tilted his head towards Rachel, indicating that they should be listening to her.
I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you want me then cut me down
I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I've got no one to believe in
You ask me for my love then you push me around
Finn started fidgeting uncomfortably. He definitely wasn't ready for the talk he knew he'd be having with Rachel after this. She knew very well that he broke up with her not because of Quinn, or because of Santana, but because she'd cheated on him with Puck.
Here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me why
Why, tell me why
I take a step back; let you go
I told you I'm not bulletproof
Now you know
The club applauded, and Rachel bowed. She walked up to Finn and looked him directly in the eye. "Tell me why," she said in a low, scary voice.
"Not now, Rach," Finn hissed.
She stomped over to her seat, leaving the other kids with confused looks on their faces. Kurt hummed to himself, examining the latest blister on his finger. Mercedes leaned over again. "Hey, boo, what'd you do to yourself?" She asked, taking his hand in hers.
"Ah, burned myself when I was getting the toast out of the toaster this morning," Kurt said. Mercedes gave a sympathetic wince. "I'll be fine," he said, off her look.
That night
Kurt ended up downloading the song Rachel sang onto his iPod when he got home from school. He spent most of the afternoon and the evening alternating listening to that and Love the Way You Lie. He softly hummed along to the song, tapping his foot in the air as he lay back on his bed. "Told you I'm not bulletproof, now you know," he sang to himself, pushing back his sleeve as he did. He admired the patterns the burn marks made on his arms. Some of them had left funny shapes. One, Kurt thought, looked like a lopsided cow. Another looked like a lamp.
Kurt climbed out of bed, making sure the door was locked before lighting a candle. He struck the match, watching it ignite. He stared at the flames hungrily for a moment before lowering it to the candle. He quickly pressed "repeat" on Tell Me Why, and held the candle tightly in his hands. He moaned softly as he stared into the bright flames. Just do it, just do it, his mind said. He pressed the flames to his forearm, quickly and expertly. He sighed in relief at the warm, burning pain he felt. "Yes," he whispered. After several moments, he took the candle away. The burn that he'd left behind, the burn that the flames had etched into his arm, had left the shape of a question mark. Kurt chuckled at the irony of it all. "Tell me why," he sang quietly.
The flames, again.