Disclaimer: I do not own Wizards of Waverly Place or Camp Rock or Hayley Williams.
PLEASE READ: There are a number of reasons this chapter took me a while:
1. My computer crashed. It has been a process to get everything sorted. I'm very lucky not to have lost anything, but it was still difficult reinstalling my programs and basically I just got very pissed off.
2. The weekend my computer crashed, I was going to start writing a novel I hope to get published. I haven't started yet because of the issue, but I plan to shortly. Please understand that it is my dream to be a published author. I am not abandoning this story, I am simply multiwriting. Like multitasking only with writing.
3. The thing with Demi has gotten me depressed and in a funk. Yes, I've heard what's going on. No, I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say that Demi means a lot to me, more than some of you could ever know and her hurting hurts me. I don't need to hear your thoughts on the subject. In fact, I'd rather not think about it. So if you review, please don't say anything about her being in rehab.
4. MOST IMPORTANTLY, school is crazy! I need to keep my grades up to keep my scholarship and I have so much to do. Sorry. School comes first.
That is all. Read on now.
"And then Jeremy told me that he liked my skirt," Harper said giddily. She'd arrived that Monday afternoon as soon as school let out. It was now four in the afternoon, and she was still recounting the story of her date with Jeremy from Spanish (or was it science?) for Alex.
"You told me that part already!" Alex groaned. She was currently lying on her back on her bed, her feet near her pillow and her head hanging off the edge, the tips of her hair brushing the floor.
"Oh." Harper's brows drew together. "Well did I tell you that he opened the door to the restaurant for me?"
"Three times!" Alex shot her friend a glare. She loved her, she really did, but sometimes Harper couldn't take the hint that she was getting annoying.
"He looked so cute, too! He was wearing this blue shirt that just made his eyes pop, and-"
"Harper!" Alex yelled, interrupting yet another detailed description of 'how cute' Jeremy looked the other night. "You've also told me this several times." She sat up, color rising in her cheeks. "And each time, I feel stupid because I don't get it. I don't see what you see, or understand what makes him so special. I know when a guy is cute, but I can't pinpoint a specific trait that makes him so. And sometimes, it's really upsetting because I have no clue what you're talking about and it makes me feel like a moron."
"I'm sorry, Alex," Harper said bashfully. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, you know. Your brain just isn't wired that way. You can't help it. You can tell me all the things you like about Hayley Williams if it'll make you feel better." She placed a comforting hand on Alex's shoulder.
Alex shrugged it off agitatedly. She really didn't feel like being patronized right now. "Can we just talk about something else, please?"
"Okay, Alex. What do you want to talk about?"
"I came out to Mitchie," Alex said. This is what she had been wanting to talk about since she'd invited Harper over the night before. But as soon as she walked in the door, she wouldn't stop yapping about her date. Meanwhile, Alex had to hear the story multiple times while this weighed heavily on her mind.
"About time!" Harper smiled. "How'd she take it?"
"Really well." Alex sighed. "The wizard thing, though…Not so much."
"You told her you're a wizard?" Harper's eyes went scarily wide. "You've known her for a month!"
"I know, Harper…"
"We've been friends since kindergarten, and you just told me recently!" Harper stood, talking animatedly with her hands. Harper rarely got mad, but when she did, you could practically see the steam coming out of her ears. This was one of those times. "Are you replacing me with her or something?"
"Of course not, Harper!" Alex exclaimed.
"Do you trust her more because you're attracted to her?"
"No!" Alex shook her head. "I didn't want to tell her!"
"But you did!" Harper pointed her finger in Alex's face. "You're picking her over me. You're letting her come between us. I can feel it!"
"Harper, you're being ridiculous!" Alex yelled. "Just calm down! I didn't mean to tell her, okay? It was an accident!"
"How? How do you accidentally tell someone your deepest, darkest secret?"
"Well, I blurted out the gay thing to my parents without realizing I did it." She shook her head and waved off her comment with her hands. "But that's not what happened here. Just sit down−calmly−and I'll tell you."
Harper eyed her friend warily, not sure whether or not to believe Alex. In the end, she did sit back down, but not nearly as close to Alex as she had been before.
"Thank you." Alex let out the breath she'd been holding. "Okay, we were in here, sitting on this bed." She pointed to the mattress beneath her bottom. "I'd just told her I'm a lesbian, and she was cool with it. We were settling down like we were going to hang out, and then I tried to get comfortable by kicking my boots off. I forgot that I keep my wand there sometimes, though, since I hadn't had it for a while." She paused to make sure Harper was still listening. She was. And she didn't look mad anymore. That was good. "It fell out of my boot, she saw it, and picked it up. When I tried to take it, I wasn't in control of my emotions, so the contact made sparks fly from the tip."
"Oh God." Harper gasped. "What did she do?"
"Screamed," Alex said simply. "Then she freaked out and asked what the hell was going on. I tried to come up with a believable story, but how do you explain something like that without magic?"
"She took it badly, I'm guessing?" Harper cocked her head to the side.
"Oh yeah!" Alex nodded, her eyes wide to make her point. "Big time! She practically ran from here."
"I'm hoping you went after her."
"Of course I did." Alex smirked. "Would you expect anything less of me?"
"Well, it involved moving…" Harper trailed off.
"Harper, I'm not that lazy!" Alex frowned at her friend.
"Whatever you say." She patted Alex's hand. "Did you guys make up?"
"Yes," Alex said, still pouting slightly about the 'lazy' comment. "Everything's great now."
"Did she confess her undying love for you?" Harper smiled slyly.
Alex groaned. "No, Harper." She stood from her bed, going over to sit behind her drum set that she had been neglecting for way too long. She took the sticks in her hand, loving how smooth they felt against her palm.
"Did you confess your undying love for her?" Harper stood also and went to stand beside the drum kit, hoping Alex wouldn't start playing. It was terribly hard to have a conversation when Alex was banging away at those things.
"Harper, I don't love her!" Alex snapped. She was getting tired of this. "She's just my friend."
"That you're attracted to!" Harper crossed her arms over her chest and smiled at Alex knowingly.
"Yeah, so what if I am?" Alex twirled one of the sticks in her fingers, trying to pretend this conversation was no big deal, that it was boring her, when really, she was on edge. "I'm attracted to a lot of girls. Doesn't mean I love all of them." She lifted her drumsticks, ready to strike.
Harper caught her hands before she could start playing. "Alex, this is me you're talking to, here," Harper said gently, her eyes soft and kind. "You may be lying to yourself, but you can't lie to me."
"I'm not lying," Alex said in a bored tone, looking up at Harper. "So when I went sleep at her house, she slept in my arms. Yeah, we cuddled all night long. Big deal. Okay, maybe sometimes she makes me catch a breath or stop breathing completely when I look at her. And possibly, when we embraced on that bench the other day, I didn't want to let go. And so what if I kissed her forehead? It's not like my lips burned for hours after."
Harper gave her a sad look. "Alex…"
"Okay, so maybe they did!" Alex yanked her hands from Harper's grasp and stood up from her drum stool. She threw her sticks against the wall, making a racket. She went and stood in the center of the room, her back towards Harper and her shoulders sagging. Silent tears started to slide down her face.
"Alex…" Harper said again, approaching her friend slowly.
"You're right, Harper," Alex said. She tried to swallow the sob she could feel fighting its way up. "I am falling in love with Mitchie."
Her sentence hung in the air for a few seconds, the silence deafening. All Alex could do was let the tears fall. She hated herself for that. She hated letting people see her cry.
Out of the corner of her eye, she sensed movement. She glanced over to the door and noticed that it had been left slightly ajar. She wiped her face hastily and sighed in frustration. Harper must have forgotten to close it when she came in. Alex rushed over and opened it a little more, sticking her head out. The hallway was empty. She figured it must have just been Max or Justin going downstairs, or maybe even just her imagination. She just hoped if it was Justin that he hadn't heard what she'd said about Mitchie. The last thing she needed right now was him freaking out and trying to separate them.
She shut the door and turned back to Harper. They stared at each other. Alex could see herself reflected in Harper's eyes, the sadness obvious.
Harper crossed the short distance between them and gathered Alex into a hug.
"This is killing you, isn't it?" Harper asked, stroking Alex's hair gently.
"Yes," Alex said, giving Harper a good squeeze before pulling away. She took a step back to give them both some personal space, letting out another sigh. "What am I supposed to do? I'm trying my best not to fall for her, but I just can't help it. Everything she does is super fucking cute."
"Maybe you're supposed to fall for her, Alex."
"And why would that be?" Alex wiped her still-damp face with her shirtsleeve.
"Because maybe you're destined to be together." Harper gave her a small smile.
"Don't start that again!" Alex rolled her eyes. "I told you, she doesn't like girls! If she did, I'm fairly certain she would have told me when I came out to her."
"But what if she likes you, but is just too afraid to tell you?" Harper persisted. "Did you give her any reason to believe you didn't have feelings for her?"
Alex shrugged. "I told her I wasn't going to make a move on her."
"Well there ya go!" Harper threw her hands in the air. "For all you know, she could have had feelings for you too, but been too afraid to tell you because she thought you didn't like her."
"Harper, no." Alex shook her head. "You're doing that thing where you talk crazy again."
"I'm not crazy!"
"Tell that to the three guys who have had a restraining order put on you and my brother, who wishes he could!" Alex smirked, despite her aching heart.
"Shut up," Harper said, narrowing her eyes to glare at her friend.
Alex continued smirking for a few more seconds until she realized there was still a pain in her chest.
"Do you know how much it hurts to want someone so much, but know you could never have them, that you're not what's right for them?" she asked. "And I'm not talking about your crush on Justin. I mean, have you ever felt like you met your soul mate, but someone stepped in first and screwed it all up for you?"
"No," Harper said honestly, shaking her head.
"Good." Alex sighed. "I hope you never have to. Because it hurts so fucking much."
Mitchie stood looking at herself in the mirror, admiring her new outfit. The day before, her mother had had off from work, so they went shopping for clothes that Mitchie could wear for the rest of her pregnancy. At fifteen weeks, she didn't need too drastic of a change in attire, just pants that fit and shirts that weren't too snug.
She was currently wearing jeans made just for a woman's second trimester of pregnancy−which she was in−and a powder blue blouse that hung somewhat loosely over her stomach. Her mother had also been kind enough to bring her to get her hair cut, and she was loving it. She'd decided to keep her bangs, after all, getting a style that would look great once they grew out a little more. But for now, she still found her hair looked great. It was curled in brown ringlets, hanging freely over her shoulders.
She guessed this is what they called the 'pregnancy glow.' She wasn't sure if she was really experiencing the glow she'd heard people talk about, but she felt like she was glowing. She was just plain happy. Her mother had made her a doctor's appointment for two weeks from then and gotten her special vitamins to take until the baby came.
She once again looked through her closet at all of her new clothes; ones that no longer fit were put in storage bins that were now hidden beneath Mitchie's bed. She couldn't wait until she could start buying clothes for the baby. When she'd been in the mall with her mom, they'd gone to a store that specialized in baby clothes, just to look. All of the clothes were so cute; she wanted to buy the entire store. But the problem with that is they didn't know the sex of the baby yet. And she still couldn't decide whether or not she wanted to know.
She went over to her calendar and flipped to April, where she thought she was supposed to deliver. She furrowed her brow. Was she really only fifteen weeks along, or was she sixteen weeks along? She really had no clue. This is why she so desperately needed to go to the doctor.
She set the calendar back to the current month: November. It was only three days before Thanksgiving, it being Monday and Thanksgiving being on a Thursday. She'd already invited Caitlyn over to eat with them, but she was flying back to California Wednesday morning to be with her mom. And since her grandparents thought it would be too much of a hassle for them to fly up from Texas, just to have to sleep in a hotel because the apartment was too small, it was just going to be her and her parents.
She felt a little panicky when she realized tomorrow was the last day Justin and Alex would be coming over that week, giving them three days off plus the weekend as a Thanksgiving holiday. Technically home schools weren't supposed to do that, but since they were so ahead, Justin said it would be okay.
But she wasn't panicky because she wasn't going to have school for five days. She was panicky because she'd have to spend those five days without Alex. Sure, they could still text, but it wasn't the same as seeing her beautiful face every day.
As much as Mitchie knew she shouldn't, she couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like to be in a relationship with Alex. She was sure, if circumstances were different, Alex would be a wonderful girlfriend to her. But could Alex take on the responsibility of being a mother/father−or whatever she would be to the baby− if things got serious? Part of her wanted to believe that Alex would be a terrific parent, but with the whole wizard thing, would that be a safe environment to put her child in? It wasn't even that safe for her. It was all too confusing.
Mitchie couldn't deny that she felt the strong urge to see Alex right at that moment, though. Sure, she'd only seen her a few hours ago, but she missed her already. And when she tried to text her, she got very short answers, as if Alex had something on her mind.
Looking around, she realized that she really had nothing to do. All of her schoolwork was done. She'd even read ahead to the next chapter in her science book out of pure boredom.
What she really wanted to do was go see Alex, to spend as much time with her as she could before she wouldn't see her for almost a week. But Alex wasn't exactly in the talking mood. Would she appreciate a surprise visit, like the one she'd paid to Mitchie?
Deciding not to think on it anymore and just follow what her heart was telling her, she grabbed her apartment key and her phone. She left a note for her parents in case she wasn't back before they got home from work and set out for Alex's without a second thought.
Fifteen minutes later, she was standing in front of the Waverly Sub Station. She was quite proud of herself for taking the subway all by herself. So maybe she'd gotten off one stop too early and had to walk the rest of the way, but it was progress!
When she entered the restaurant, she partially hoped Alex would just be standing in the doorway like she had been last time so it would be easier to find her. No such luck. She did see Alex's mother, though, standing behind the cash register. She put on her best smile, one reserved for adults, and went over.
"Hi, Mrs. Russo," she said pleasantly. "Do you remember me?"
Theresa's face lit up when she saw her daughter's new friend (who was replacing Harper at the moment as the Russo parents' favorite). "Of course I do," she said. "Hi, Mitchie. How are you?"
"I'm good, thanks. And yourself?"
"Wonderful," Theresa said. "Does Alex know you're here?" She jutted her thumb to the staircase, signaling that Alex was upstairs.
"No, actually," Mitchie said, blushing a little. "I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd stop by." Not exactly true, but she didn't need to know that.
"I'm sure she'll be happy to see you," Theresa said, nodding towards the staircase. "If she's not in the living room, she'll be in her bedroom."
"Thank you," Mitchie said, offering a final smile before going over to the metal spiral staircase. She started climbing them slowly, wondering how much longer it would be safe for her to climb stairs at all. She'd started using the service elevator near the back of her building, even though it was so inconvenient, just to be sure, but she really needed to ask the doctor about that when she went in for her appointment.
When she reached the living room with its bright orange furniture, she found that it was completely empty.
She sighed heavily through her nose. More stairs. When she finally reached the hallway, she was out of breath. Okay, from now on, she was always inviting Alex over to her house. Or at least arranging a public meeting place. This was ridiculous. How did Alex, the laziest person she'd ever met, do this every single day?
That was actually going to be the first thing she said when she entered Alex's room, but something she heard made her stop. It was a voice that didn't belong to Alex, and was unfamiliar to her. She stopped to listen. The next voice she heard was Alex's, but what had she said?
"Did she confess her undying love for you?" The unfamiliar voice said. Jealousy boiled inside Mitchie. Who could they be talking about? Did Alex have a crush on some other girl? She knew she had no claim on Alex, but she didn't want her with anyone else, either.
There came a groan. This was Alex. "No, Harper."
Oh, so it was Harper she was talking to. Mitchie knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but she just couldn't help herself. She just had to know who they were talking about.
"Did you confess your undying love for her?" The voice Mitchie now knew as Harper's asked.
Mitchie was standing where she could just barely see into Alex's room since the door was ajar. But all she saw was Alex's weird, pink, fuzzy wall.
"Harper, I don't love her! She's just my friend," Alex's voice said, a little harshly.
"That you're attracted to!" Harper.
"Yeah, so what if I am? I'm attracted to a lot of girls. Doesn't mean I love all of them." Alex. This made Mitchie's stomach turn unpleasantly. Lots of girls?
She could then hear Harper saying something gently to Alex, but what it was, she wasn't sure. Harper was speaking too softly.
Alex's voice hit her next, but once again, she was speaking too softly for Mitchie to hear. So, she took a step closer, standing right in the crack of the door. A slender strip of light coming from Alex's room illuminated part of her face.
"Okay, maybe sometimes she makes me catch a breath or stop breathing completely when I look at her. And possibly, when we embraced on that bench the other day, I didn't want to let go. And so what if I kissed her forehead? It's not like my lips burned for hours after."
Mitchie's heart fluttered. It sounded like Alex was talking about…Her.
"Alex…" Came Harper's voice, with a sad tone.
"Okay, so maybe they did!" Alex yelled, which was followed by two loud clank sounds. Mitchie hadn't expected them, so she jumped slightly.
Suddenly, Alex appeared in Mitchie's line of vision. She looked so sad that it broke Mitchie's heart. From where she was standing, she could see tears making damp streaks on Alex's cheeks.
"Alex…" Harper's voice said, still where Mitchie could not see, though she sounded closer.
"You're right, Harper," Alex said, sounding like she was struggling to speak. "I am falling in love with Mitchie."
At this, Mitchie's heart went into overdrive. It's like the world was moving in slow motion. Alex's words rang in her ears as she turned away and walked back down the hall. She descended the obnoxious amount of stairs and rushed out of the sub shop, thankful that neither of Alex's parents tried to stop her.
She went straight home, in a daze. This time, she walked. She didn't even realize she was home until she was unlocking the door. Any normal day, she would have stopped to ponder how she knew how to get there, having only walked back once, but she didn't have time to dwell on it.
She went to her room, closing the door behind her. She sat on her bed, slipping her phone out of her pocket. She dialed Caitlyn's number and pressed the phone to her ear.
It went straight to voicemail. Of course. Caitlyn had dance practice.
"Hey, it's me. Come straight here after practice. It's urgent. Bye."
She hung up and tossed the phone on the bed beside her. She began replaying the conversation between Harper and Alex in her head over and over again. The entire time, she fixed her eyes on the wall and just starred.
A knock at the door pulled Mitchie from her trance. She looked at the clock. It was half past five. She'd been sitting there for over an hour without moving, hardly blinking.
She groaned when she stood up, her muscles a bit stiff. When she entered the living room, the pounding started.
"Mitchie, open the door!" Caitlyn's voice called from behind the wood.
Mitchie swung the door open to reveal her flustered, sweaty friend.
"What is it?" Caitlyn asked, out of breath.
Mitchie shook her head and grabbed Caitlyn by the wrist, pulling her into the apartment. As she was pulled, Caitlyn shut the door with her foot, then was dragged to Mitchie's room. Mitchie slammed the door shut as soon as they'd entered.
"Okay, now what is it?" Caitlyn asked, dropping her gym bag on the floor. She was wearing a sweat shirt that had had its sleeves cut into short sleeves that hung off her shoulder a bit, revealing her black undershirt. She also had on black leggings with bright yellow shorts and black sneakers. Her hair was in a ponytail, a few loose strands sticking to her forehead, which was still slick with sweat. Her makeup was even smudged a little. She really had gone straight there as soon as practice was out.
"Alex is in love with me," Mitchie said with no emotion, her face showing indifference.
"Oh boy," Caitlyn said, sitting on Mitchie's bed. "How'd you find this one out?"
"I overheard her talking to Harper today when I went over to her house," Mitchie said, sitting beside Caitlyn.
"What are you going to do now?" Caitlyn asked, reaching out and tucking a strand of Mitchie's hair behind her ear. "I like your hair," she commented.
"Thanks." Mitchie sighed. "I don't know, Cay. I was hoping you could tell me."
"You know I can't do that, Mitch." She smiled sympathetically. "Only you can make that decision."
"But how?"
"Ya know, smart listens to the head. Stupid listens to the heart." Caitlyn shrugged. "Sometimes you have to be stupid."
"But with the exception of last summer, I've never been stupid," Mitchie said. "I don't know how to do that."
"What do you feel for her?" Caitlyn asked. "I know you said you like her, but what do you really feel for her?"
Mitchie thought about it for a few seconds before answering. "I think I might be falling for her, too…"
"Well then maybe you should be telling her that, and not me."
"And then what?" Mitchie asked. "We stay together until the baby comes, then she decides she doesn't want that responsibility and dumps me?"
"How do you know that's going to happen?" Caitlyn turned Mitchie's face, holding Mitchie's chin between her thumb and forefinger so that she had to look her in the eye. "You don't know that. She could be the best damn parent in the world for all you know."
"She's dangerous, Caitlyn." Mitchie moved her head so that Caitlyn didn't have a hold on her anymore. "She's irresponsible, destructive, immature, lazy, complicated, hard headed, sexy as all hell, scary, sweet, kind, loving… She's just too confusing and unpredictable. I should be with someone more stable. More safe. Someone I know for a fact won't hurt me. Someone…Someone…Someone like you."
She lifted her face and just then noticed how close she'd gotten to Caitlyn. She stared into those confused brown eyes, her brain screaming at her to not do this. But did she listen? No. She brought her hands up and cupped Caitlyn's face gently.
"Mitchie, what are you doing?" Caitlyn asked quietly, though she did not move away.
"I just want to see something. Please?" She continued looking into Caitlyn's eyes, which were wide with wonder.
Even though Caitlyn knew this was a terrible idea, she also knew Mitchie needed to do this. So, she gave a slight nod of approval.
Mitchie closed the small gap between them and placed her lips on Caitlyn's. It was a soft, sweet kiss, which Caitlyn returned. It was honestly the best kiss of Mitchie's life. The only other person she'd ever kissed was Shane, and his lips didn't mix well with hers at all. They were too rough and dry. Too masculine. But Caitlyn's, Caitlyn's were smooth and gentle. Caitlyn's lips really did feel fantastic against her own. But at the same time, they also felt wrong.
Mitchie pulled away and released Caitlyn's face.
"I'm sorry," she muttered, blushing deeply and scooting to the left to give Caitlyn more space.
"It's okay," Caitlyn said. She really wasn't offended. "If I'd be interested in girls, I'd want to kiss me too." She smirked, making Mitchie blush deeper. "Seriously, though, if I was interested in girls, I would have made you mine a long time ago."
"I know that, actually." Mitchie smiled a little. "And I also know that you like guys. I just had to know what it was like to kiss a girl."
"And how did it feel?" Caitlyn asked. "Did it confirm anything? Because for me, it was nice, but it's confirmed that I really do, without a doubt, like guys. No offense."
"None taken." Mitchie shook her head. "It was a great kiss…"
"Very good." Caitlyn nodded. "You're a really good kisser, Mitch."
"You act like you're surprised." Mitchie raised an eyebrow at her friend.
Caitlyn cleared her throat. "Hey, stay on topic." She hit Mitchie's shoulder playfully. "Did you figure out what you needed to by doing that?"
"It was very nice," Mitchie said, crossing her arms over her chest while nodding and staring at the ground. "But it wasn't right…" She absentmindedly bit her lip.
"And why is that?" Caitlyn leaned forward, anxious to hear the answer.
Mitchie starred at the ground for a few more minutes before releasing her lip from her teeth and looking at Caitlyn.
Then she said, plain and simple, "You're not Alex."
Yes, I used one of Demi's old twitter quotes as Caitlyn's line. Some of you are going to love this chapter, and others are going to hate it. Hey, that's life.
Twitter: xxMusicxSpazzxx. Just so you know, I'm not getting as involved on twitter. I'm still gonna be on and stuff, but I'm trying to keep from getting too involved. I think certain lines need to be drawn. I want to be more professional about it, even if my tweets are utterly silly at times. I just want to keep my personal life…Well, personal.