AN: So I'm sorry about the delay. I was playing trumpet in a short run of the musical the WIZ. I wrote some of this on the train into the city and some more of it while I was on my lunch break at work. This chapter is a big turning point for our dear detective. We'll know what she does with that in the next chapter, which should be up sooner than this one was.
Remember, your reviews are like some kind of pill that makes me write faster. Soooo FEED ME. :)
Don't own 'em
Logically, Kate should have been the first one to fall asleep on that couch. It wasn't for lack of trying. She had found a comfortable position that took some of the ache out of her body and she was actually kind of happy that she was going to get to see her Dad in a few hours. She just found herself awake, relishing in the comfort that Castle's presence provided.
He had fallen asleep a few minutes into "Bridezillas," which Castle had sworn was a "Hot Mess of Entertainment." Kate had to admit, while these girls were acting ridiculous and mean, the show became amusing to watch. The show, however, was now muted and she was paying more attention to Castle's sleeping form than the television. She was watching and studying him closely; studying how his chest rose and fell; studying how he would twitch every few moments or so. It brought a small smile to her lips to reverse their roles, and learn about him.
The thought that she could get used to these moments shook her out of her gaze. Could she get used to this? Could she make this work? To make her work turn personal? "Who are you kidding, Kate?" a voice in the back of her head asked. "With him, it has always been personal."
She laid her head back against the couch and allowed herself to think about the kisses they had shared. There were amazing (like Castle said the first time). She had felt more in Castle's arms than she had allowed herself to feel in years. She wished she could say that that fact didn't frighten the hell out of her, but it simply did. Part of her wanted to feel again; the other part told her that feelings of intense love (if that's what they were) led to feelings of intense pain. Kate Beckett was stuck. She needed an answer.
She was weighing her pros and cons mentally when Castle made a snort/twitch in his sleep that made her giggle out loud. The word "cute" came to mind but she quickly dismissed the thought as juvenile.
She was tired and she wanted to sleep but she had so much to think about. Maybe Castle was right. Maybe he had changed for good. Maybe he could be the man she was looking for. Maybe he already was. He had proven himself to be loyal, protective, thoughtful, caring, and understanding in just about everything she threw at him. He seemed genuinely interested in her but she couldn't decide if it was infatuation, wanting what you can't have, or real. She wanted to try – God She wanted to – but Kate Beckett knew that you can't have your cake and eat it too. If they decided to become more than friends or partners, their friendship might be ruined forever.
"Damn it." She swore under her breath and sighed. Her eyes fluttered, closed, and she fell into a deep sleep. Her mind just couldn't fight her body any longer.
"Castle, damn it, would you PLEASE stay behind me?"
"But then I can't see anything!" He whined
"Yes, but then nothing can "see" you, and that's what's important." She replied.
"FINE." He pouted, crossing his arms over his WRITER vest.
She proceeded through the abandoned warehouse with caution, as she always did. She could hear Castle shuffling slowly and, to his credit, quietly, behind her.
He stepped with gentleness and care until he almost crashed into her back as she stopped short.
"DETECTIVE!" a male voice shouted through the empty space. "I was hoping you'd make it!"
Castle looked at Beckett with a look of surprise and she put a finger to her lips to signal that they should remain silent.
"I know you're there!" the voice boomed. "You and your little pet."
Castle and Beckett shared a sideways glance and she signaled for both of them to retreat. As they started moving, this time Castle leading, they were plunged into complete darkness as the lights blacked out. Beckett felt the cold steel of a gun press against her spine.
"Don't move, Detective." The man whispered into her ear so only she could hear.
"Beckett?" Castle asked in a whisper.
"Go, Castle." She said into the darkness. "I'm right behind you."
"Liar." The voice whispered again, his breath making the skin of her neck crawl.
"Kate, give me your hand." Castle told her. "We'll be able to find out way better and not get separated."
She paused. "I can't, Castle, go on, I'll follow."
"I thought I was supposed to follow your lead." She could hear him smile, saying the words.
"Just GO, Castle!" She said angrily.
The lights in the warehouse switched on suddenly and his eyes grew wide with fear.
"Beckett…"
"Castle, go."
"No, I'm not leaving you."
"Mistake, Mr. Castle." The man answered, smiling evilly.
As the cool, hard barrel of the gun was removed from her side, a sharp white-hot blade replaced it. She felt the knife slice through her back and stifled a scream as she collapsed to her knees. She reached for her gun but it wasn't there. She looked up to see Castle moving toward her and a muzzle blast lit up the dim room, getting her attention just in time to see a bullet slam into the word WRITER emblazed on his chest.
"NO!" She yelled, falling onto her hands and knees. She rolled her head around to see that the warehouse was now empty. Their attacker was nowhere to be found. She crawled to him and felt blood dripping from her onto the floor.
"Castle," She choked reaching him. His purple shirt was blossoming with red.
"You were wearing a Vest!" She whispered. "How?"
"Just lucky, I guess."He smiled up at her, chest heaving.
"Castle…" She gasped, her eyes fluttered and she crumpled to the ground beside him, doing her best to face him. She was bleeding fast. They were both dying and there was nothing either of them could do about it.
"Kate," He sighed. "We're together, that's all that matters."
"No." she replied, tears clouding her voice. "Your family." She panted. "Alexis. Martha."
"You're my family too, Kate." They were looking deeply into each others eyes.
"Rick…" She began coughing hard.
"We're in this together." He replied weakly. "Always."
"Always." She nodded, eyes closing.
"Let Go, Kate." He half smiled as she looked at him again. "I'll be right behind you; where I always am. I'll follow you anywhere you go."
"I love you, Castle." She gasped before breathing became too difficult to continue.
"I love you, Kate." He replied as both of their eyes slid closed. Together. Forever.
Castle woke up to movement next to him on the couch. He looked over at Beckett as she slept. He blinked a few times and embarrassingly wiped the drool from his lip with the back of his hand. He looked over at the sleeping woman and watched her relaxed features turn into something sinister. He didn't exactly know whether or not to wake her. Her face relaxed and he decided against it.
He smiled at the way her eyebrows twitched slightly in her sleep and the way her hair fell in waves against her face and the back of the couch. He decided that he could, quite feasibly, watch her forever.
Castle watched as she stiffened in her sleep. Her back arched and a groan escaped her lips. His brow furrowed and he leaned over to touch her arm.
"Beckett?" He asked softly, trying to wake her gently. Instead, she threw his arm off in a violent motion and murmured something unintelligible.
Castle didn't know what to do in this situation. He knew that you weren't supposed to forcefully wake someone who was experiencing a full-blown night-terror, but he didn't want to see her suffer, whether in sleep or out.
"Kate," He tried again, "Wake up, come on."
She moaned louder and arched back even further as if she was trying to escape her own body. It made him worry about her broken ribs and healing stitches, but his first priority was getting her out of this.
He leaned over and scooped her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. She was talking in her sleep, now, but none were words he understood. Tears were leaking out of her eyes and leaking on to his shirt. Castle began murmuring nonsensical words into her ear and he was drawing small circles on her cheek with the back of his free hand.
"Come on, Kate." He whispered lowly. "Wake up, I'm here. I'm here for you. Always."
Kate arched against him one more time and fell still. Castle blinked down at her and told her to wake up again. Her eyes fluttered open and landed on him. She seemed stunned to see him. Her hands came up and landed on his face. They moved slowly, cupping his cheeks, fingers running over his lips, nose, eyes, and forehead. He was completely confused, but he would allow this if she needed it.
When she was done, she looked deeply into his eyes and her palms fell from his face and encircled his neck.
"Kate?" He asked, his voice cracking. "Are you okay?"
She didn't reply, she just looked up at him, eyes filling with tears. She shook her head "no," before collapsing into his shirt with heavy sobs.
His breath caught. Kate Beckett didn't cry… especially not like this. He grabbed her tight against him, hoping to offer some sort of comfort. He wanted whatever was bothering her to go away. He couldn't stand to see her like this.
"Kate, what can I do?" He croaked. "Please, let me help you."
"Just don't ever leave me." Came the muffled response from his chest. "Don't leave me."
His eyes grew wide and he looked down at her. He grabbed her shoulders and looked at her tear-stained face that had dissolved into hiccups.
"I never want to." He replied. "What happened?"
"I can't…" She choked out, looking away from him. "Can we just… stay here… like this?"
He thought about it for a second. He thought about pushing her, but he didn't have the heart to watch her relive whatever she had seen in her dreams. He looked into her eyes and nodded, holding her to him a little harder and she buried her face in his neck. They both relished in the contact of their partner pressed against them and they both feel into a dreamless sleep.
CLICK ITTTTTT