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The Odette variation came to Nina so easily; she embodied everything that the White Swan was to the point that dancing her was as natural for her as breathing. That was why Nina chose to practice the part today. It was Saturday, her day off, and after yet another week spent in utter aggravation repeating the Odile variation until she thought she would be crushed by the pressure, she had decided that she needed a day to regroup. Which was not to say that she wasn't driven. It was noon, and she had already been practicing for four hours. Ballet was something of an obsession for Nina; there was very little in her life that didn't revolve around performances, rehearsals, the attainment of perfection in her dancing. She had achieved it once, and though she was struggling, she'd be damned if she was going to let it slip away from her.

Which was, of course, why she routinely pushed herself to the point of exhaustion.

These days, when Nina looked in the mirror she barely recognized herself. She had always been thin; ballet fostered body types that bordered on the anorexic, and often crossed over. But these days, even Nina was surprised at how much weight she had lost. Her face had developed deep hollows under her cheekbones, and if she looked in the mirror, she could count her ribs. She had been eating foods that were calorie-rich by the standards of a ballet dancer, but half of these rushed up past her burning throat and out through her open mouth. Not that she did it intentionally; she had never considered what she did as purging. It was just that, more often than not, her stomach was tied up in nervous knots, and it simply rebelled against anything she asked it to digest. Between that and her almost compulsive practicing, she could almost feel the strength emptying from her bones.

And she would be on the stage again in less than five months.

Nina glanced one more time in the long mirror, checking her posture as she went into a deep plié from fifth position followed by a long, slow développé when the doorbell rang. Nina went to answer it, and, to her surprise saw Lilly, dressed more casually than she'd ever seen her in beat up sneakers, faded blue jeans, and a worn grey sweatshirt embossed with the logo of the San Francisco Ballet School, her hair pulled back into a loose, careless ponytail. Lily's eyes widened when she saw Nina dressed in a workout leotard and pointe shoes. "It's our day off, and you're still practicing?" Lily asked, her voice dripping with incredulity.

"Well, you know…practice makes perfect," Nina said, waving Lily inside.

"Suzie told me you'd moved, she said, walking over to the large window in the living room. "Nice view of the river."

"Thanks," Nina said, hating the fact that her voice still sounded so timid.

"So is Mommy Dearest home?" Lily asked, and Nina had to smile at the reference. She hadn't spoken to her mother much since moving out; just a few quick phone calls once or twice a week.

"Mommy Dearest doesn't live here," Nina replied, now beginning to wonder why Lily had shown up at her door unannounced.

"Really," Lily said. "That's good, God knows you needed to get her out of your hair. Anyway, I just came by to see if you wanted to go out and have lunch with me."

Nina weighed her options for a minute. She was glad that she was on better terms with Lily these days. She was the complete opposite of Nina in many respects; the quintessential Wild Child, while Nina was demure, even timid. But she was fun to be around, and fun had been something that had been missing from Nina's life for far too long.

"One condition, alright?" Nina said, and Lily nodded expectantly. "No Ecstasy."

An hour later the two dancers were at an Indian restaurant on 46th street, just off of Times Square. Nina had never tried Indian food before. It had been Lily's suggestion, and Nina had discovered that she loved the foreign flavors and the exotic spices, all of which Lily happily described to her.

"How do you know so much about Indian cuisine?" Nina asked, for the first time, genuinely enjoying the other girl's company.

"I'm kinda surprised you don't." Lily replied. "I mean, California isn't exactly Hicksville, but this is New York City. Ethnic everything, including food, is a way of life."

"Well, let's just say that most my time has been spent in a studio at Lincoln Center," Nina admitted quietly, the words more true than even she would have liked to believe. She had lived in New York City her entire life, but her life had been so utterly consumed by ballet that she hadn't truly seen much of it. Even the traveling she'd done, both domestic and international, had been for engagements, and the demanding schedule of rehearsals had kept her from really taking any of it in.

"Mmmmm," Lily said, clicking her tongue reprovingly. "Well, we'll have to fix that, won't we?"

"Sorry?" Nina asked, not completely understanding what Lily was getting at.

"I've only been in New York for a couple of months. Sounds like you've lived here your entire life without seeing much of it. It's perfect. Meaning, one of these days you and I are gonna hit the town," Lily grinned, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

Nina didn't quite like to consider what Lily's idea of "Hitting the town" was. More than likely, she thought, it would involve something licentious, illegal or both. Even the thought of participating caused a hot blush to light up her throat. "What's that you're drinking?" Nina asked to change the subject.

"This? This is strawberry lassi. It's made from strawberries, yogurt, milk, and and Indian rum. Want to try some?" Lily asked sweetly. Nina considered for a moment. She usually avoided alcohol; It just wouldn't do to show up at rehearsals hung over. On the other hand, it just might be what she needed to help her to loosen up. She gestured, and the waiter dutifully scurried over to their table.

"Could I get one of those strawberry lassis. please?" Nina requested.

"Alcoholic, or non-alcoholic?" The waiter asked.

"Alcoholic," Nina responded, surprising herself with her uncharacteristic self-assurance.

Two hours and four more lassis' each later, Nina and Lily were both giggling like schoolgirls. Nina couldn't honestly recall the last time she'd had so much to drink, but she was more relaxed than she'd been since she had been appointed the company's principle. Hell, she was more relaxed than she'd been since she'd joined the company in the first place.

"So, I asked you once, and you never responded. How is he?" Lily asked.

"Who?" Nina was already in an alcohol induced fog. Now, she was genuinely confused.

"Thomas!" Lily almost shouted, as though it should have been completely obvious. Nina was suddenly overtaken by another fit of giggles.

"He's a good kisser," She choked out through hiccups of laughter, eliciting more giggles from Lily. "Truthfully, I can't vouch for how he is in the sack."

"What, you're kidding, right?" Lily said, an incredulous eyebrow raising. "You've never fucked him?"

Nina just shook her head, more laughter bubbling up, Lily losing control of her own.

"I can't believe it," Lily said between fits of giggles. "I was so sure that you and he were-"

"Sorry to disappoint." Nina shrugged in mock sorrow. "Okay, my turn. Why did you leave San Francisco?"

"California's too damn sunny," Lily replied. Nina shot her a reproachful look. "Truthfully?" Lily said, the laughter dying on her lips. "I slept with the director, who is incredibly hot, incredibly good, if you catch my drift, and incredibly married. His wife caught wind of it. It was either come out here or have her making my life a living hell." Lily related the story of her fall from grace at the San Francisco Ballet with surprisingly little emotion.

"Wow," Nina breathed softly, unsure of what else she could say. She wasn't exactly surprised; sleeping with a married man was exactly the sort of thing Lily would do.

"Hey, what are you gonna do?" Lily replied. "I knew he was married at the time. It was pretty clear what the eventual outcome was gonna be. So tell me something; did this drag you away from ballet for a few hours?" Lily asked. Nina nodded. "Good, then it accomplished exactly what I was hoping it would. Thomas told me you've been having some trouble in rehearsals. I thought you could use a break, she said.

"I never thought I'd catch myself dead saying this, but I actually did." Nina admitted, as much to herself as to Lily. She loved ballet, but she had been in desperate need of a distraction. "My Black Swan's falling to hell," She grumbled.

"You were incredible the night of the performance," Lily offered.

"Thanks," Nina sighed heavily, beginning to sober up. "But I'm pretty much right back to where I started."

"You have what it takes, Nina," Lily said, reaching out a hand and gently placing it on Nina's shoulder.

"So do you," Nina pointed out. "So do any of the other girls."

"No we don't, Nina. We're all good. We wouldn't be in the company if we weren't. But you're the best, and everybody knows it. Why do you think Veronica has been such a little bitch ever since you were cast?" Nina was growing uncomfortable under Lily's scrutiny, and began to fidget in her seat. Lily sighed. "You just have to find that place inside yourself again."

"I know, but-"

"But what, Nina?" Lily asked.

"It nearly killed me," Nina whispered.

Lily nodded slowly. "Well, we can't have that, now, can we?"

A few minutes later they signed the check and went their separate ways. Nina was waiting on the subway platform for the train when she caught sight of another woman out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head to glance at her, and was greeted by the sight of her own face, her own body dressed in macabre black clothing, heavily shadowed eyes for the briefest of instants flashing orange.