Alternatives

Chapter X: Too Late

Based upon Stargate: SG-1

Rating: PG

- RMI - Based on the Season 7 episode: "Death Knell"; takes place during and immediately following said episode -

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"O'Neill," Teal'c pointed at the fireball in the sky.

Jack smiled for a millisecond before taking off running towards the explosion. The only coherent thought on his mind was that Carter was alive. Sprinting at top speed, Jack only glanced up from the uneven ground to make sure he was heading in the right direction.

Energy bolts flew by his head, so he threw himself at the ground. "Teal'c!" he shouted, making sure the Jaffa was aware of the danger. The Super Soldier. He peaked his head up to see the black clad figure striding past them, apparently uninterested. Jack took aim and fired two shots, neither of which had any effect.

The Solider kept walking.

He attempted to fire a third shot, but the weapon was spent. Jack cursed silently. Waiting a few more moments, making sure the Super Solider was on his merry way, he jumped to his feet and continued towards the explosion they had seen.

Not even a minute later, he arrived in what looked like a sand stone pit; the smoking UAV was propped up on a rock pile pointed toward a smoking crater.

He looked around. "Carter!" he shouted. Jack ran over to the rock pile and skidded to a halt when he saw her. Blood covered a deep gash on her thigh, which was loosely bandaged. His eyes traveled up to the energy burns on her chest, then to her face. Her eyes were closed and there was a large slash on her forehead. "Carter." Dropping his weapon, he dropped to his knees.

She wasn't breathing.

He put his fingers to her throat, searching for a pulse, but found none. "Carter!" he shouted. He folded his hands and started chest compressions. Taking a moment to breath himself, he tipped her head back into the proper position and tried to restore the life to her body. He didn't last very long, working very frantically.

After a few sets, he simply collapsed on her chest, heaving. He leaned back to see her face, and ran his hand along her chest. "Carter, I'm sorry," he breathed through the tears coming to his eyes. "I'm sorry," he repeated over and over.

He sat back on his knees and pulled her body up to him. "I am so sorry."

- . - . -

Jack followed the covered stretcher through the Stargate with Teal'c at his side. Jacob was waiting at the bottom of the ramp, leaning heavily on a cane. The medics stopped in front of him, and he lifted the sheet that covered his daughter.

He looked away and closed his eyes for a second. He kissed his hand and cupped her face before putting the sheet back and allowing the medics to continue.

Jack made eye contact with him as he walked down the ramp. "Jacob," he tried.

Jacob shook his head and put his hand on Jack's shoulder. He took a deep breath, as if he was going to say something, but didn't. He just shook his head and walked away.

"Jack," Daniel walked in.

"Daniel," Jack walked past him. He felt filthy and wanted nothing but a shower. "Don't try. Just don't try."

Numbly, he made his way to the locker room, stripped off his utilities and made his way to the showers. He washed the dirt and grime out of his hair, and watched the blood spiral down the drain. He hadn't realized he had gotten that much of her blood on him.

It was her blood, Carter's.

He leaned his arm against the tile and rested his head on his forearm. Samantha Carter was dead.

He didn't know how long he stood there, the water beating down on him, remembering every moment with Samantha Carter he could. He smiled, thinking of the time they first met. They had both been so confrontational. She was merely responding to his demeanor, he supposed, and Kowalski's and Ferretti's. She was a little spit fire.

Was.

He sighed deeply and turned the shower off, and went in search of clean clothes. He was hungry, but the thought of food was making him nauseous, so he skipped the commissary and headed straight for Carter's lab.

The lights were off, and it seemed eerily empty. He stood in the doorway for a while, feeling like an intruder. Eventually, he did take that first step and he was alone in Carter's lab. He hit the lights and looked around. It was so Samantha Carter.

Everything was neat and tidy, except for the pile of whatever that sat on the table in the center. It was stern about in a seemingly careless fashion, but Jack knew that Carter would have been able to pick up exactly where she left off when she came back. But she wasn't coming back.

"O'Neill," came a deep voice from behind him. "Doctor Fraiser wishes to see you."

Jack didn't respond, but simply turned and brushed past Teal'c, making sure to turn off the lights on his way out. He quietly made his way to the Infirmary. No one noticed him as he walked in, so he took a seat on the nearest bed, knowing that eventually the Doc would make her way over to him.

He was mildly aware of Teal'c standing near him, but really wasn't paying that much attention. When he closed his eyes he could see her face. Sometimes it was her battle bruised face as he had last seen it, and sometimes it held that infectious smile. He wet his lips, thinking of the mere handful of kisses they had shared over the years.

"Colonel," Doctor Fraiser interrupted his thoughts.

He looked up at her.

"How are you feeling, Sir?" she asking, taking out her pen light.

He didn't even flinch when she shinned his eyes.

She turned to Teal'c. "He's in shock." She gently pushed him back. "Lay down, Sir, we're going to get you something to drink."

Shock sure did explain how he was feeling. Samantha Carter was dead. That was pretty damn shocking.

He just laid on the bed like Doctor Fraiser had told him too, unable to think of a good reason to defying the good doctor. He was still vaguely aware of Teal'c standing next to him.

Someone eventually brought him some water, which he sat up to drink. And some time later, Doctor Fraiser returned. "Why don't you go get some sleep, Sir? Just stay on your base quarters, and I'll have someone come check on you in a few hours."

He didn't reply, just stood up and started to head out.

"Would you like something to eat, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked just before they got to the door.

He spun at Teal'c, suddenly very aware of what was going on. "No, I don't want anything to eat!" he shouted. "Are you kidding me? She's dead, Teal'c!" He grabbed Teal'c upper arms. "She's dead because I wasn't fast enough! I got there too late!" He shook Teal'c a little. "Damn it, Teal'c! Are you kidding me! You were there!

"You were there! You saw the explosion! We knew it was her and we didn't there fast enough! I didn't get there fast enough. I got there too late!

He inhaled sharply and paused for a second. "She's dead because I was too late," he hissed.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and spun towards it's owner, ready to shout. However, he was met by Doctor Fraiser, and he suddenly couldn't think of anything to say. "I'm going to give you a sedative, Sir."

He nodded, taking a deep breath. Looking back towards Teal'c, he mumbled an apology.

He let Fraiser lead him by his arm to his base quarters. He was aware of her watching him as he took of his boots and BDU jacket, which he left carelessly in the middle of the room. He laid back on the bed, and held his arm out

She took a syringe out of one of her many pockets and sterilized his arm with a swab. He didn't flinch when she stuck him, and simply waited while she pumped the sedative into him, and messaged the area with a couple fingers.

"Come see me in the morning when you get up, Sir."

He nodded. "Sure, thing, Doc."

He watched her leave before turning his attention to the ceiling.

"Sir," she said from the doorway. "It wasn't your fault."

He only answered after she had left and closed the door behind her. "You say that, but you weren't there . . . and neither was I."

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