Chapter 11 – The End

Summer had just started. The last of the ice in the lakes had melted off (though people talked about that time in 2004 when there had been ice in Sebago until July), and green forests dominated the view of the lake country. Boats were being put out on the water, and flatlanders from New Boston were starting to move into their cottages.

Mana and Shinji were sitting together in a booth inside the general store on Harrison's main street. Behind them a group of women went on and on about what they had to get done before the end of the week.

"It's family, what are you going to do?" one of them said, "Good thing she was flat-chested!" At which the table guffawed, and Mana and Shinji smiled at each other, trying not to laugh.

Mana hit Shinji's arm as he took a bit out of his sandwich. "So when's the first performance?" she asked.

He glowered at Mana, chewed his food, then answered. "Two weeks. June 11."

"And that's in Augusta?"

"Yes indeed. And don't worry, you've got a pretty nice seat, from what I've been told of the space."

Mana leaned on Shinji's shoulder. "Good. You excited?"

"I am for any performance." He took another bite and swallowed. "Did you get that message from Uri?"

"About the interview? Yeah." Mana took a drink from her soda.

"Think you'll do it?"

Mana paused for a moment. "I think so. I'll probably let him know I'm free for two weeks in October, so he can pick my brain then. Have you done it yet?"

Shinji shook his head. "A couple of times. They're an... interesting experience. I don't think I'd do it for anyone besides him."

They ate quietly, watching and listening to other people as they came in and left the store. Every so often someone would say hello to Mana, and they would talk about the small, perennial matters. When they were both done, they left the store and started walking towards Crystal Lake. They passed the baseball diamond and approached the water. A few dozen yards to their left kids played on the sandy beach, yelping at the cold water.

Mana sat down on a large boulder, looking across the lake. Shinji sat down beside her, propping himself up with his hands.

"So I sent a letter to Edward, asking him how he's doing," Mana said. Shinji turned to her, and she to him. "Don't worry," she said, putting her hand on his, "it's just to see."

"You know I'm not worried about that."

"I know. But I'll reassure you anyway. For my sake." She squeezed his hand. They spent a while at the lake, and Mana convinced Shinji to wade into the water. 'It's not that cold, they're just kids. You'll be fine.' He yowled at the cold, and Mana just laughed and laughed.

That evening they had dinner at the Old Factory with the Fredericksons. David was ecstatic to meet Shinji, whom he had heard so much about from the news over the years, and Mana recently.

The dinner went well, even when David made his 'joke' about how you can tell the Maine women from others - "It's the big asses they have!" - which left Mana and Lisa holding their heads, and Shinji just confused. "It's because they don't get out in the winter!" David said, laughing louder.

Mana stared at the quilts hanging parallel to the ceiling and felt embarrassed. But Shinji laughed as well, and joked back with David. They got on very well, and the Fredericksons said they would do their best to get to one of Shinji's performances that summer.

After dinner, Mana and Shinji walked back up the hill towards her home – the night was too nice to spend driving. They walked side by side in silence, listening to the sound of their feet slapping the asphalt and of various insects chirping in the woods. Mana would glance at Shinji, trying to gauge his thoughts. She was still a little surprised he had accepted her offer of staying the summer with her, going across New England now and then to play his cello.

It was under the stars and the fireflies that Mana had her revelation. She stopped dead in the middle of the street. Shinji did not love her because of what she did, but who she was – it was as much a giving of himself as it was a recognition of her. That was why he could say he still loved her, even after what she had done.

Shinji turned back to Mana. "Hey. What's up?" he asked.

And that was the way out of the labyrinth. That was how she could get out of the trap she had set for herself when she had left Japan. She didn't need to either hate Shinji or herself. Love was not a give and take, an economic transaction made for favors given and received, the way Mana had thought of it for most of her life, but a free gift from one person to another. It was always a risk, putting yourself in someone else's hands, but to do otherwise was only a slow suicide. Mana knew that now.

There would be ups and downs, steps forward and steps back, but now that she knew this she could not unlearn it.

Mana could not say the words just then, but she would someday.

Mana smiled, and without a word kissed Shinji.

The End
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