Come Saturday, Nina was exhausted after being dragged by Lily into what felt like every clothing store in Manhattan. Although, she had to admit to herself, she was having a good time being fussed over. She had initially been reluctant to allow Lily to redesign her wardrobe, but after a while, even Nina had to admit that Lily's taste in clothing was impeccable, if breaking significantly from her own. Instead of the monochromatic attire that Nina usually chose for herself, Lily had selected an array of brightly colored jewel tones and soft pastels. Nina turned in her dressing room at Charlotte Russe examining the sleeveless top she currently wore. It was a deep, almost blood red with a plunging neckline and embossed with rhinestones that formed a pattern of intertwining roses. A pair of skintight black pants completed the ensemble.
"Nina!" Lily called. "You done?"
"Just a second!" Nina called, unlocking the dressing room. She stepped out, and twirled around theatrically. Lily whistled.
"Whoa, that outfit's definitely you," Lily said, an eyebrow raised appreciatively.
"You think?" Nina asked, somewhat shyly. She frequently wore little more than a leotard and leggings, but the somewhat risqué outfit she now wore made her feel almost naked.
"Sure!" Lily chirped enthusiastically. "Come on, Nina, for God's sake, it's not like you haven't been seen wearing a hell of a lot less." Once again Lily unnerved Nina with her ability to accurately judge her moods. She glanced at Lily, who smirked in response. Nina felt herself flush under her wilder friend's scrutiny, and quickly ducked into her dressing room. A few minutes later she rang up her purchases and added the bags embossed with the Express logo to the plethora of other parcels she and Lily were carrying between the two of them.
"Okay, one more stop," Lily announced, her eyes twinkling mischievously. Nina could have sworn that she felt the bottom drop out of her stomach.
"What?" She asked, doing the best she could to keep the trepidation out of her voice.
"Well….." Lily said slowly, obviously doing her best to make Nina squirm, and succeeding magnificently. "We have the tops, the pants, a few nice skirts, and some shoes. All that's left is…" she again trailed off, and Nina held her breath. "Underwear." For the second time that day, Nina felt the blood rise to her face. Lily doubled over with laughter. "Come on, Nina," she said. "It's not like you don't wear it already!"
"Of course I do, but that doesn't mean I like shopping for it!" Nina retorted.
"So what are you gonna do, buy it online?" Lily deftly countered. Nina looked down; guilty-as-charged.
"Oh…my….god. Oh my god, omiGOD!" Lily squealed. "You totally do! I can't believe it!" Nina shushed her angrily. "Okay," Lily said, "We've got to teach you how to do this right," Lily stated, and before Nina could quite process what was happening, Lily grabbed her by the arm and began dragging her through the mall. A few minutes later, she was shoved through the door of Victoria's Secret, Lily's clucking overriding her weak mewls of protest. A smiling, short haired saleswoman of possibly Chinese ancestry approached them.
"Hello, ladies, how can I help you?" She chirped. Lily clamped her hands on both of Nina's shoulders.
"Nina here needs some new undies," She said, a wicked smile lighting up her face. "She needs some basic, everyday things, and then she needs to try on some of your sexier stuff." Nina's insides twisted uncomfortably, and at that moment she fervently wished that she could evaporate through the floorboards. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lily shoot her a glance. "She's a little shy," Lily said to the saleswoman, Alice, the nametag read. Alice smiled at Lily, and now Nina had the distinct impression that the two of them were ganging up on her.
"No problem, we'll get you sorted out," she said to Nina. "Come on," she gestured, and Lily deftly passed Nina into Alice's hands. Alice seemingly from nowhere produced a tape measure and proceeded to apply it to parts of her body that Nina would just have assumed she'd left well enough alone. Alice then proceeded to drag her through the store, grabbing items off the shelves that Nina wouldn't have chosen if she'd been on one of Lily's all weekend Ecstasy benders. Alice then led her into a dressing room, hanging the items on a hook.
"Have fun," she said, offering a knowing wink, pulling the door shut behind her, which Nina quickly locked. She turned around to face the dressing empty dressing room, and the brightly colored undergarments that awaited her. Now that she was alone, she had to admit that the bright colors and patterns appealed to her. In fact, she was thoroughly enraptured. A soft smile lit up her face as she ran her fingers over a soft lavender bra with a butterfly print, and without another thought, threw herself into trying it on. She turned about in the mirror examining her reflection. She felt…..different somehow, more confident, more grown up. For the first time in her life, Nina Sayers felt….sexy.
A few minutes later, she and Lily linked elbows and exited the Victoria's Secret, laughing. "See, was that so bad?" Lily quipped.
"Definitely not," Nina concurred. "I can't believe I let you talk me into that."
"And I can't believe you buy your underwear online," Lily returned. Nina had to burst out laughing-she had to admit, it had been borderline puerile behavior.
"It seems kind of silly now," Nina laughed. "Come on, let's dump this stuff in the car, my arms are about to fall off."
"Definitely. And after that we stop at one of the department stores and we both get our makeup done," Lily said, a statement rather than a request.
"I don't know if my poor credit card can handle any more of this without melting," Nina replied.
"Well, you can't keep swiping Beth's lipstick. At some point you're gonna have to buy some of your own," Lily pointed out. Nina was shocked. She was so sure that nobody had known about her petty theft of Beth's possessions.
"I returned it!" Nina protested.
"I know you did," Lily replied. "Beth has the scarred up face to prove it." Nina stopped dead in her tracks.
"How did she end up with scars?" Nina asked. Lily looked at her quizzically.
"You don't know?" She asked. Nina shook her head. "She stabbed herself with a nail file three times," Lily replied. "I thought you were with her at the time."
So that explained it. Nina searched her memory, trying to fit this new piece of information into the jigsaw puzzle that had become her reality. She remembered Beth stabbing herself, viciously spitting out that she was nothing. Nina had wrestled the nail file out of her grasp. But she had continued to stab herself, hadn't she? No, Nina had seen her own face instead of Beth's, and she had fled the room as fast as she could, only to realize in the elevator that she was holding the nail file and that her hands were covered in Beth's blood. So, that meant that Beth had stabbed herself, and Nina had snatched the nail file away. Everything that followed had been a figment of her own fractured imagination. An involuntary shudder coursed down her spine.
"Nina?" Lily asked tentatively. "You okay?"
Nina forced a bright smile. "I'm fine," she replied.
"You sure? If I had a dollar for every time you've said you're fine when you're not I wouldn't have to work for Thomas anymore," Lily said, eyeing Nina suspiciously.
"I'm fine, I promise. Let's just dump this stuff," Nina replied.
Nina arrived back at her apartment later that evening, and immediately dumped the shopping bags in her bedroom. It was nearly seven, so she dialed the number of a sushi restaurant down the street that she knew delivered, and quickly placed an order, digging into her purse for cash and setting it on the counter beside the door. She then headed into her bedroom and changed into one of the new outfits she had purchased; a pair of dark denim capris and a tightly fitted white lace blouse. Smiling, she went into her studio to examine the ensemble. It showcased her body perfectly; tight, but not overly so, clinging as though it had been cut for her. The sleeves were a sheer lace, and thin satin ribbons had been sewn onto the bodice to create the illusion of boning. Nina had fallen in love with the top almost immediately, in spite of Lily's protests that she already wore too much white, and she'd been adamant about purchasing it. She wondered what Lily would say now.
She glanced one more time at the top before turning to leave, but then did a double take. A dark red stain had appeared over her abdomen, and was spreading at an alarming rate, soaking the shirt and sending rivulets of dark fluid down onto the pants. Nina tore off the shirt, beginning to panic. Blood spurted fourth from her abdomen, from the place where she knew the shard of mirror had pierced it. Instinctively, she clasped her hand over the wound, and the warm liquid gushed fourth from between her fingers. A shrill scream built up in her throat as she frantically wiped it away, trying to find the source, but found none. Her abdomen was thoroughly smeared with her own blood, and still, more continued to pour fourth, a gruesome geyser that pumped her life away with every beat of her heart. The capris were now completely saturated with it, the blood now spilling onto the wooden floors. Nina finally let out the scream that had been threatening to tear fourth from her, brutally slashing through the silence of the apartment
Quite suddenly, the doorbell chimed. Nina quickly glanced towards the door, and then back down at herself, her breath hitching. She was standing in one of her new bras and spotlessly new capris. Her skin shown translucently white, bathed in the incandescent glow of the halogen track lighting she'd installed. The floors were immaculate, the pristine white top in a heap where she had discarded it. All traces of the gore were gone.