12 The Resolution
What you are today is due to the choices you made along the way.
"Let's go Shizuru," Natsuki said. They decided to use Natsuki's car because Natsuki intended to drive. She said she doesn't like bringing a driver.
"But it's a long drive. If you get tired, I could get on the wheels," Shizuru said. She knows how straining it is to the eyes when you drive for hours in the evening.
They were silent along the way. They only talked when Natsuki needed directions. Shizuru didn't mind the silence because her mind was occupied by her worries about how Natsuki would react when she learns the truth. Natsuki was busy with her thoughts as well. She was now sure that she liked Shizuru but she felt like she's betraying her own feelings since she went out today looking for a different girl.
When they reached the region, Natsuki glanced at Shizuru on the passenger's seat and she saw that she was sleeping. She pulled over to the sidewalk because Shizuru's head was hanging loosely on one side. Thankfully, Shizuru didn't wake up. Natsuki removed here own seatbelt and she got out of the car. She opened the door on Shizuru's side and she angled Shizuru's seat. She gently positioned Shizuru's head against the headrest.
"That's better," Natsuki said to herself. On impulse, she touched Shizuru's face with the fingers of her right hand and then she cupped her cheek. "I really think I should be honest with you." She hesitantly pulled away her hand when she started staring at the slope of Shizuru's exposed neck. She gulped and went back to the driver's seat.
She reached the town and soon she found the small inn suggested by her father. Shizuru was still asleep. Natsuki left her on the car to check in. As soon as Natsuki was out of sight, Shizuru opened her eyes.
A while ago she was awakened when her chair was inclined but she chose to keep her eyes close. She almost gasped when the hand supporting her head stroked her cheek and eventually stayed there. She almost cried. How could she break the heart of someone so pure like Natsuki. Her guilt was ripping her apart. She then saw Natsuki on her way back to the car.
"You're awake," Natsuki said as she went back to the driver's seat.
"What are you doing?"
"We're looking for another inn because they only have one more room available," Natsuki explained.
"But it's late, why don't we get the available room?" Shizuru said. She was surprised at her own boldness but she couldn't take back her words. And then she realized the complications of her own suggestion. How could she remove her contact lenses?
"Okay, if that's okay with you. I was just thinking that you might feel uncomfortable with sharing a room. Let's go then," Natsuki casually said. She was internally jumping out of joy. They checked in and Natsuki tried her best to make Shizuru feel at ease in the small room.
Shizuru opened her luggage bag and took out her towel and toiletries. Natsuki watched her from the corner of her eye as she sat on the couch in front of the small TV in the room. Natsuki took papers from her laptop bag and she arranged them in a folder. She heard a clicked on the bathroom door and then she sighed. She turned on her laptop and began scrutinizing new package models for the rice wine produced by their company. She read some reports that she needed to study until she heard the bathroom door open. She turned her head around and her eyes almost popped out.
"Shi-" Natsuki's eyes traveled the length of Shizuru's towel-clad body. She blushed furiously and then she stood up. "Put your clothes on!" Natsuki yelled as she ran to the bathroom door and locked up herself.
"Ara, Natsuki's so cute," Shizuru said. She then wore her nightgown and she dried her hair with her towel. "Natsuki, Im dressed. You can come out now." The bathroom door slowly opened and Shizuru chuckled as Natsuki slowly moved her head out to check if she wasn't lying. Her face was red and Shizuru found her really irresistible. Natsuki was relieved for a moment and then she soon turned her head away from Shizuru. The lavender nightgown clung closely to Shizuru's body. Her arms, neck and legs were exposed. And the low neckline showed Shizuru's cleavage.
Natsuki opened her own luggage bag and she took her clothes and toiletries.
"For you to react like that-," Shizuru teased.
"What?" Natsuki glared at Shizuru, who was running a comb on her hair while sitting on one side of the bed.
"—it seemed like it's you first time to see a woman's body. With your looks, you'll qualify as a player," Shizuru teased. She couldn't help it even if she wanted to just stop. Natsuki's eyes narrowed to slits.
"I'm not a player! In fact, I've never been in a relationship!" Natsuki said without thinking. Shizuru was somehow shocked to hear this but soon her gaze softened. "And how dare you think of me as a player when you yourself are so good at seducing people?" Shizuru was shocked at the retort and was mildly irritated that Natsuki was accusing her.
"Ara. For your information I haven't seduced anyone because I've never been in a relationship either." Shizuru yelled back. She was surprised at the sound of her own voice. Natsuki blankly stared at her because Shizuru has never been angry before. There was a moment of silence. Natsuki saw that Shizuru was still glaring at her but she didn't take her eyes off her face. Shizuru soon realized her mistake. Isn't she the one who started the teasing? She looked away and then retired to bed with her back facing Natsuki.
Natsuki went to the bathroom door after she turned off the lights in the room.
"Sometimes I hate the fact that she is so nice to me. She even turned off the lights because I'm already in bed," Shizuru thought. She then took off the contact lenses and felt comforted. She had to put them back again a while ago before she came out of the bathroom. "I have to wake up early tomorrow so she couldn't see my eyes." She was tired after her encounter with Nao, her confession to Hayato, and her problematic life in general. She's falling in love with someone that she didn't want to hurt but eventually she would if she couldn't help herself.
Shizuru thought about her escape on Tuesday. Normally, she's happy whenever she could escape from her problems. That's what she did her entire life - escape from pain caused by relationships. She treated people casually. She didn't established relationships that would last long. She has several admirers and acquaintances but in the end she only trusted her mother. Haruka and Yukino were there for her but she didn't bother them most of the time.
Natsuki took her time on the bathroom. Shizuru's words were running inside her head and she was grinning. "She looked even prettier when she's angry." Natsuki then thought about the events of the day. She found Shizuru Fujino but she's a part of the past. She just had to close that chapter. "When I see Fujino-san, I'll just be honest with her. I'll tell her I admired her once and I'll tell her that I owe her father everything. And then that's it. If she gets mad at me, I guess it's okay. At least I have been honest with her. So it's decided, I'll tell Shizuru about my feelings before we go back to Tokyo. That's it. Enough of my what-ifs. I just need to let it out. I'll just think about the consequences depending on Shizuru's response."
The faint moonlight diffused in the room through the high glass windows. The silence comforted her. She felt like she was in her mother's house in Kyoto. She heard the bathroom door gently open revealing a towel-clad Natsuki. The light from the bathroom made the room a bit brighter. She saw Natsuki looked in her direction before the latter turned off the light in the bathroom. Both of them relied in the faint moonlight to steal glances of each other.
"Glad she's asleep," Natsuki murmured to herself. She removed her towel and she used it to dry her hair. Shizuru saw Natsuki in her bra and boxer shorts and she felt something travel inside her body. Natsuki pulled a loose T-shirt on her body and then she glanced at Shizuru's direction again. She saw that Shizuru occupied only half of the bed but she was scared to occupy the other half so she retired on the short couch. Shizuru saw Natsuki's bare legs dangling on the edge of the couch.
"What? She's not sleeping here?" Shizuru was upset by Natsuki's behavior. She didn't want her to sleep in that small couch because she'll wake up in the morning with muscle pain.
"Natsuki," she firmly called out.
"Shiz-" Natsuki sprung from the couch. "You're awake?"
"What do you think are you doing in that small couch?" Shizuru said without looking at Natsuki. "Get in here if you don't want me to get mad at you." Natsuki reluctantly got up thinking how Shizuru could easily turn her to a puppy. She stood beside the unoccupied side of the bed while watching Shizuru's back.
"Are you sure? I tend to turn a lot when I sleep," Natsuki reasoned out.
"Would you please stop thinking that I feel uncomfortable when you're near me because that's not true at all." Shizuru said. She tried not to say the words but they slipped. She knew that her actions only make things more difficult for her. She felt Natsuki slither under the blanket that they had to share. Natsuki's arm was pressed against her back because the bed was meant for a single person.
"You just lied. Why are you so stiff if you're not uncomfortable?" Natsuki thoughtfully said. Shizuru was caught off-guard and words won't come to aid her. But she really surprised Natsuki when she turned around and wrapped her arm around her. Shizuru placed her chin on Natsuki's shoulder and her leg over Natsuki's. She fitted perfectly to Natsuki's side. Natsuki felt warm all over and she imagined she had a sudden high fever. Her body was reacting because her senses are filled with Shizuru - Shizuru's shampoo, Shizuru's soft breast against her arm, Shizuru's crotch against her thigh and Shizuru's forehead against her cheek. "Kami, she's torturing me."
"Sleep Natsuki and stop thinking," Shizuru softly said.