Author's Notes:
This bit was actually the first piece I wrote for this fic. It may be written slightly different from the other chapters because of this, but it should be quite an unnoticeable difference. I hope. You tell me, lovely readers.
Pardon all of the Sirius/Charlotte. Honestly, I am quite inspired by their relationship. It will not be as prominent in the next few chapters, though.
Thank you to all those who have reviewed/favourited/alerted: I truly love you all.
To make up for my tardiness, I have a nice long chapter for you lovely people. Enjoy.
It was early that morning when the sun woke Lily Evans through the cracks in the scarlet curtain of her four-poster. She sighed, knowing more sleep would not come, rolled out of bed, and tried not to disturb her roommates as she gathered her clothes and slipped into the shower. A quick charm to dry her hair when she was clean, a little dab of mascara in the mirror, and she was off to breakfast.
She liked Hogwarts in the morning; it was the quietest before and after hours, but at night it gave off more of a spooky vibe than it did during the day. She would definitely not want to be wondering down a dimly lit corridor in the middle of the night, and she rather favoured the way the sun shone in from the many stain glass windows and made patterns on the stone walls. She was just admiring this particular feature when she turned a corner and ran straight into someone.
"Christ—oh, Lily!"
"Dorcas," Lily smiled, taking in the brunette, "I thought you were still in bed."
Dorcas played with the ends of her rather tousled hair. She looked a bit jittery; her eyes were bloodshot from what appeared to be lack of sleep, and she was still in her bed robes. "I—I couldn't sleep," she said with a much too bright smile. "Figured I'd eat early, good start to the year, and all..."
"Are you all right?" Lily asked. "You look exhausted."
Dorcas flashed that fake smile again. "Oh, yeah—like I said, couldn't sleep."
"Shall I bring back coffee?" Lily smiled kindly. "It looks like you might need it,"
Dorcas smiled in return, beginning to walk down the corridor. "Yeah, that would be great."
Lily frowned after her for a moment before continuing on her way to the Great Hall. Dorcas was usually quite put-together. She was also keen on appearances: you never saw Dorcas Meadowes looking anything less than flawless, though just then she had been dressed in her bed clothes, supported no makeup, and it didn't appear as though she had brushed her hair that morning. But it was early, Lily reasoned. Perhaps she had been thinking she wouldn't run into anyone.
Shrugging it off, Lily entered the Great Hall. It appeared the rest of the castle had the idea of sleeping in since few people littered the four House tables. She idly spotted Charlotte's younger brother, Collin, at the other end of the Gryffindor table and waved. He returned the wave, and she saw his friends sneaking glances at her and looking her up and down as she poured several cups of coffee for her and her dorm mates. Third years. She couldn't help but smile.
When she had buttered herself a piece of toast, taken a bite of it, and successfully managed to levitate six cups of coffee on a tray with her wand, she headed back towards Gryffindor Tower. She had gone about two steps out into the corridor, however, when she ran into the second person that morning. Artfully, she managed to balance the coffee mugs so that only one of them spilled a tiny drop of its contents.
"Lily, I'm sorry—"
Lily stepped back and realized who it was. Her lips formed a line on her face; her expression not one of welcoming. "Severus."
Severus Snape looked just as he ever had: hooked nosed and greasy haired. He appeared to have grown at least an inch since they had last met since he was now the taller of the two.
He said nothing for a moment, and just as she was about to be on her way he stammered, "How—how are you?"
She stopped walking and faced him. "We're not going to play this game, you and I, Severus. I don't intend to spend the good part of the year, or any part of it actually, trying to make you see reason, either. I think it would be best for both of us if we continued to go our separate ways."
Severus reached for her arm as she made to turn away again. "Lily, I'm—"
"You're what, Severus?" She faced him, voice incredibly calm for the words she was uttering. "Sorry? I've already told you that I've forgiven you."
"No—" Severus tried desperately. "I want to be mates again, Lily, and...I—I'll do anything to make that happen." She opened her mouth to say things he would not want to hear, and he knew this, so before she could speak he quickly added, "Just—please...just think about it."
He looked so sincere. So much like the way he used to when they had been close. She didn't have it in her heart to crush him. Later she would blame the time of the morning, but the truth was, she wanted to forgive him. She wanted Sev back.
He said nothing more and shrank away from her and into the Great Hall, leaving her with more to think about than she wanted to handle.
He was in the wrong, not she, but if that was so, why did she feel like the bad guy? The end of their friendship hadn't had the effect on her she thought it would. She had cried for days, but it felt like their friendship had ended weeks before it actually did. He hadn't contacted her all summer, which was odd to her. She had spent every summer with him since she was five. They hadn't spoken since she had forgiven him, and she had told him that didn't mean they would both go straight back to being best friends again, it meant that she could let go, not hold any resentment towards him. She did not believe in holding grudges. And as much as she tried to convince herself that their friendship was over, she had doubts.
Without realizing it, Lily had reached the fat lady, who was staring expectantly down upon her.
"Password?" she inquired for what didn't seem like the first time since Lily had been standing there.
"Right—sorry," Lily said while proceeding to say, "gobstones."
The fat lady opened and Lily climbed through the portrait hole, still conscious of the beverages floating in front of her, and was barely to the other side before she ran into the third person that morning. This, she had not been expecting, and her wand hand slipped, sending the coffees tumbling to their ultimate doom, and stumbled backwards and tripped on the ledge of the portrait hole. She felt an arm wrap around her waist and watched as the tray of drinks landed gracefully in the hands of one James Potter: valiant savior.
"This must, be a record or something," Lily muttered, realizing she had run into three people within the last hour. She straightened and flattened her skirt as James elegantly balanced all six of the coffee cups in front of her. She had to admit that even she was impressed, and it showed slightly in her facial expression.
James, noticing this, raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Pardon me?"
"Oh, nothing," Lily sighed. She smiled. "Thank you."
James smiled too, his expression mellowing slightly. "Anytime, Lily."
This spontaneous first-name-basis was so casual, Lily, as preoccupied as she already was, failed to notice it.
"Wait," he called after her as she headed for the Girls' dormitories, "aren't you going to ask how my summer was?"
He nearly sounded polite, Lily observed as she turned around to humour him. He looked rather handsome; his jet-black hair as messy as it always was, his skin elegantly tanned from the summer sun, and that cute smile on his face. It was genuine, not cocky as it normally was. "I would love to, James, but as I have roommates that desire none less than to murder me in the morning without a hearty dosage of caffeine in their systems, I really must be getting them their coffee before it becomes cold."
He kept that adorable smile, his eyes quite sincere. "Later then?"
She smiled slightly, narrowing her eyes only with slight suspicion. "All right." She watched him exit the portrait hole and then continued on her way up to the dorm, thinking that this morning could not become any stranger.
-...-
Dorcas climbed the stairs to the girls' dormitories and entered her dorm as quietly as she could. She had already run into Lily, but she thought she had lied quite sufficiently about it, and hoped Lily wouldn't think anything of it. After all, she was Dorcas Meadowes, and she had nothing to hide.
She slipped into the bathroom and checked her appearance in the mirror, frowning slightly. Her eyes weren't too bloodshot, considering she had gotten about three hours of sleep, and a fair amount of makeup could cure the rest. She turned away from the mirror and stepped into the shower, intending to fix the tangled mess that was her hair. A few minutes later she wrapped a towel around her middle and preformed a quick drying charm on her hair before exiting the bathroom to retrieve her makeup bag and clothes for the day. She was surprised when she saw Charlotte was sitting up in her bed, her back to Dorcas, legs dangled over the edge.
"'Good morning, Charlotte," Dorcas said quietly as she made her way to her trunk, aware that Mary and Marlene were still asleep. "Up a bit early, aren't you?" She smiled teasingly. It was a well known fact that Charlotte was about as far from a morning person as was possible.
Charlotte craned her neck, her hair trailing down her back in messy curls. She looked exhausted. "'Morning...what time is it?"
"I think around six-forty-five," Dorcas drew a pleated skirt and black stockings out of her trunk.
Charlotte groaned, running a hand through her fringe.
Dorcas stood, her clothes in hand and closed herself in the loo.
It was strange. Charlotte had never been the most social of people; she had always sort of kept to herself and Dorcas was about as close to her as everyone else in the dorm was, but ever since the train she had been acting odd. They had exchanged a few letters over the summer, and she hadn't sounded any different in those, but Charlotte, like Dorcas, was also an excellent liar. However, no one knew this because she didn't pry into other people's lives, and they didn't pry into hers. So Dorcas wouldn't pry; she didn't want the favour in return.
When she had put on her makeup (dark eyeliner around her dark eyes, thick mascara, cover-up for the bags under her eyes), she exited the loo and set her sights on locating her hairbrush in the confines of her trunk. Charlotte was lying down on top of the covers in her bed; her knees propped up, a hand to her forehead.
"You all right?" Dorcas asked as she looked through her trunk.
Charlotte said nothing. Then, "I need a bloody gigantic cup of coffee, is all."
"Lily's bringing some back from breakfast," Dorcas smiled, pulling out her hairbrush and sitting at the foot of her bed. "I expect she'll be back soon."
"Brilliant." Charlotte sat up, then stood and made for the loo. "Save a cup for me, will you?"
Dorcas smiled. "Will do,"
She ran the brush through her hair a few times then pulled it back into a plait.
"You have to teach me how to do that."
Dorcas turned towards the door and watched as Lily entered the room, supporting six cups of coffee with her wand. Dorcas smiled as she wove the stands of her hair intricately together. "It's not as hard as it looks, it just takes practice." She finished by tying the end with a black ribbon, throwing the plait over her shoulder.
Lily grinned in an "if you say so" sort of way and handed her a cup of coffee before sitting down of the bed adjacent and taking a sip of her own cup.
Dorcas took a sip as well. "Why are there six cups?"
"Two for Charlotte," Lily grinned. She looked around. "Looks like she's already up..."
Lily was quite chipper, as was her usual morning demeanour. She was really quite a positive person all around, although around certain people she could become quite a hurricane if set off the right way (certain people meaning almost solely James Potter). This was why Dorcas was a bit more than shocked when Lily said quite nonchalantly, "I ran into James this morning."
There two things odd about this statement. First, she had called him James. Second, when speaking with Lily Evans about James Potter, nothing was ever nonchalant.
Dorcas used a large part of her self-restraint to keep her eyebrows from shooting upward. "Did you?" Now, she was not one for gossip, but this wasn't exactly gossip if coming from the source.
Lily nodded, sipping her coffee. Her green eyes were nearly pensive at the thought of the boy who had once made her skin crawl. "He was nearly pleasant." Her green eyes were faraway and pensive.
"Was he?" Dorcas asked, trying to look as if this weren't a miraculous breakthrough.
"Mmhmm." Lily thought back on their conversation and fingered her dark red hair that hung to just below her shoulders. Dorcas wondered how someone could be so unfazed with James Potter at their beck and call. Not that Dorcas herself fancied him, though she certainly wouldn't protest if her came after her. But that was just Lily. She was clever, though admittedly horrible at Herbology (she was in fact known as the Plant Mass Murderer quite widely), and stunning: in that cute sort of way, with freckles trailing across her small nose and covering her arms.
"What are we talking about?" Mary asked sleepily, drawing back her scarlet bed curtains.
Lily smiled brightly. "'Morning, Mare. Coffee?"
Mary stood and stretched. "No, thanks. Who's in the loo?" she asked, noticing the door was closed.
"Charlotte," Dorcas crossed her legs and pressed her skirt.
"It must be the apocalypse." Marlene propped herself up on her elbows from her bed. "And I'll take that coffee,"
Lily nodded towards the tea tray. "The two that are black are on the right,"
Marlene slid out of her bed and sat down beside Dorcas, taking the one of the non-black cups of coffee and taking a sip. "What time is it?"
"Seven-fifteen."
Marlene groaned. "It must be the apocalypse."
"Early to bed, early to rise, Mar," Mary said from the floor where she was gathering her clothes from her trunk.
Marlene took another sip of her coffee as Charlotte emerged from the loo, dry and wearing a black pleated skirt with a red blouse. She smiled at everyone before taking her wand off of her night table and waving it once over her head to dry her hair.
Mary headed into the loo while Lily said, "'Morning, Charlotte."
"'Morning," Charlotte smiled a bit half-heartedly. Spotting the coffee, she said, "I don't suppose that's for me?"
Dorcas nodded and handed her a cup as she moved closer. "Decaf, right?" she grinned.
"Yeah," she said sarcastically with a dry laugh as she accepted the cup. She remained standing while she took several large sips. "Merlin, I needed that...thanks."
"No problem," Lily cradled her mug. "I saw your brother in the Great Hall."
Charlotte cradled the cup in her hands. "Collin?" she smiled; it made her look less tired. "He has a bit of a thing for you."
Marlene laughed, hair falling into her eyes. "That's so CUTE."
"Lily seems to be the subject of most underclassmen's affections," Dorcas grinned.
Lily shook her head, a smile playing at her lips. "Don't exaggerate—that was once. Last year."
Dorcas continued to grin. "I'm not exaggerating, darling, you are just in denial."
"And it was adorable," Marlene added. "With the roses, and the poem—"
"I thought we had sworn to never speak of it?" Lily interrupted. "I don't want to be reminded of—"
"—the second year that declared his undying love to you in front of the Great Hall—"
"I will hex you!"
Marlene looked as though she highly doubted this. "It was sweet. Just give him a couple of years..."
Charlotte swept her fringe to the side. Her mind looked like it had wondered off throughout the bickering. "I'm going to head down to breakfast," she started for the door. "See you down there?"
"Marlene hopped up off of Lily's bed and walked over to her trunk. "Could you wait a minute? I just need to get dressed..."
Charlotte looked hesitant as she hovered in the doorway.
"I'll go down with you, Mar," Dorcas piped up noticing this. "I need to fix my makeup anyway."
This was a lie, but Charlotte looked as if she really didn't want any company, and Dorcas was glad to spare her the obligation.
"Okay," Marlene nodded, not really seeming to mind either way as she laid out her clothes. "See you later, then."
Charlotte smiled slightly at the three girls and disappeared out the door.
"Has anyone seen my hairbrush?" Marlene asked after a moment of digging through her trunk.
"Accio?" Lily suggested.
Marlene rolled her eyes a herself. "Right," she said the incantation with a casual flick of her wand and grabbed the hairbrush as it zoomed out of her trunk. "I forgot how useful that is..." She set the hairbrush on top of her clothes for the day that lay on her bed. "Thank Merlin I'll be able to do that next summer—I don't know how I survived without magic for three months."
"I know," Lily agreed, sighing. "It's like forgetting this world exists."
"Where did Charlotte go?" Mary asked, emerging from the loo in a brown pleated skirt and a white blouse.
"Breakfast," Lily supplied.
Mary floated over to the window. "Beautiful day, isn't it?"
Marlene assessed her outfit with blatant disapproval; a small frown on her lips. "Can I make a suggestion, Mary?"
"All right?" Mary followed Marlene's gaze, her eyes trailing down her torso.
Marlene analyzed her for another moment before mussing Mary's hair up and unbuttoning the top button to her blouse. She stepped back to admire her work, her hands clasped together in a very Marlene-esque way. "Better."
Mary turned to the mirror and looked at her reflection, unsure of her appearance. "Yeah?"
Marlene nodded encouragingly and looked to Dorcas and Lily for support. Lily had chosen that moment to become deeply involved with the liquid remaining in her mug, while Dorcas nodded absently, her mind drifting as she spotted a neon-pink piece of parchment sticking out in between the pages of one of the books that littered Lily's nightstand. It wouldn't have stood out to her at all if the subject hadn't just been broached, but she knew at once what it was from the memory. She reached for the book before Lily could stop her and pulled out the parchment, a grin creeping up on her face.
"You kept it."
Lily began to blush. "It's not what you think—"
"What is that?" Mary asked, peering at it from across the room.
Marlene spotted the parchment and squealed. "Lily!"
Lily tried to grab for the parchment, but Dorcas simply couldn't have that.
"To my Lily Flower," Dorcas began to read, "When I was just a small first year, you showed me how to handle my fear. You were kind and gracious, sweet and bodacious—my goodness, I don't remember this part…."
Mary was beside herself with laughter while Marlene was grinning and slightly gushing.
"You helped me in class, with you're very fine ass—"
"It doesn't say that!"
"How would YOU know? He's a second year, remember? Well third year now...perhaps he and Collin are in cahoots."
"All right—it was sweet. Happy?"
"Not entirely. You're named after a flower, and you—"
"SO HELP ME, DORCAS!"
-...-
"FIFTEEN points?" Peter asked, his fork half-way to his mouth. "That's it?"
Sirius shrugged, though he too was surprised at his lack of punishment.
"You must've intimidated her with your leather and ripped jeans," James grinned as he spread marmalade on a piece of toast. His anger from the previous night had evaporated, which Peter in particular found to be quite strange. Sirius had arrived in the dormitory and James hadn't said anything to him besides 'goodnight.' Peter had at least been expecting a shouting match with possible wands involved, but it seems as though James just wanted to brush the whole thing under the rug. Of course, Peter was unaware of the successful conversation James had shared with one Lily Evans that morning, which had contributed immensely to his chipper mood. "There are porno films that begin like that, you know."
Remus's eyebrows shot above his hairline, a trademark expression to anyone who knew him. "You, James Potter, are truly perverted."
Peter did not think neither Sirius nor James saw it, but Remus's eyes kept flickering back and forth between the two of them. It was as if he sensed some sort of invisible tension.
James grinned sideways. "Hey—I wouldn't mind seeing Minnie—"
"Please refrain from finishing that sentence. I don't need the mental image." Remus implored. "And I don't think I would be able to meet McGonagall in the eyes again."
Peter snorted into his orange juice.
James smirked. "Would you like to co-star, Wormy?"
"I can't believe we are discussing this." Remus looked down, but whether he was disturbed, ashamed, or merely laughing was not to be determined. "I don't want to know what runs through that perverse mind of yours that you don't say."
James took a bite of his toast, gesturing with it as he spoke. "Many a thought, Moony. Many a thought..." He glanced absently around the Hall; eyes landing on something that made him smile cockily and run a hand through his hair. "For instance, right now I'm trying to picture Evans—"
Remus coughed loudly and held up a pitcher of coffee as if threatening to drown the thought. "I don't need that mental image either, James." He poured the coffee into his mug. "Thank you for that insight, but I think I'll be keeping to my own head."
"I was going to say 'with blonde hair.' WHO'S the perverted one?"
Remus gave him a look that said quite plainly that he doubted this.
Sirius had tuned out for the larger part of this banter; his eyes following one long haired and copper eyed Charlotte Hartry as she entered the Hall. She stood there for the briefest of moments and their eyes locked, sending a queasy feeling into the pit of his stomach. The feeling only deepened when Charlotte looked away and was taken into the arms of burly and handsome Oliver Bratton, and kissed fiercely. He looked away.
So it hadn't meant anything then. It was just a one-time thing. It was his fault, anyway; he had sprung on her if he remembered correctly. It was still slightly hazy. But it didn't matter: they wouldn't have to talk and she wouldn't be expecting a relationship. This thought should relieve him, but somehow it made him feel worse, that feeling in his stomach creeping into his throat.
He looked back over to where she was standing just in time to see Bratton lead her by the hand out of the Great Hall and, he presumed, into a nearby broom cupboard. The thought shouldn't surprise him, but he still felt odd about the entire situation. It was a feeling he couldn't quite shake. And it bothered him. She should not have such a firm hold over him, for seemingly no reason, none the less. He had been with many other girls before and felt nothing save momentary heat and shallow lust that any female with a pretty face and decent calves could give him, so why was she so different?
"Pads?" James asked, his hand outstretched. Sirius looked at him blankly. "Marmalade?"
Sirius acquiesced, his eyes still faraway. And suddenly he felt fidgety. He wasn't sure if it was Charlotte or nicotine deprivation or James acting strangely chipper and Remus going along with it or that he hadn't yet run into his brother, but something was causing his leg to convulsively twitch up and down, and his need for fresh air and solitude was becoming unrestrainable. With some bull shit excuse underway, Sirius left the Great Hall and dashed out the front door to the grounds. Sometimes everything was just too much to handle.
-...-
She hadn't really known what to expect upon entering the Great Hall. Well, of course she had known, a better term for it would be she hadn't stopped to think about it. In Charlotte's mind, things that were very complex seemed quite simple sometimes. She would enter the Hall, talk with Oliver, possibly see Sirius, and go off to class. Of course, Charlotte also had the unfortunate ability to underestimate her emotions, which was why the moment she spotted Sirius seated at the Gryffindor table, she stopped in her tracks. Emotion rose to her throat and she swallowed fiercely to keep it all down.
It was vulnerability, and she hated it. She hated how one look at him could make her throat close up and all the thoughts buried deep inside her mind swim to the tip of her tongue. He was Sirius-God-Damn-Black, and just because they had had a moment of intimacy—no, no it wasn't even intimacy—just because they had gotten drunk and fornicated, it did not mean anything even remotely relevant. These feelings were absolutely irrational and there was no reason for her to analyze them.
Before she knew what was happening, strong arms were wrapped around her and soft lips brushed hers roughly. New emotions mixed with the old combined and she felt tears sting her eyes. She broke away almost immediately, pink flushing her cheeks as some of the younger students in then Hall stared at them. "Oliver—what are you—"
"Shhh." Oliver Bratton put a finger to her lips and smiled a handsome smile, their bodies still pressed together. "I've missed you, Lottie."
Oliver Bratton was tall, burly, and had a fair amount of muscle. He had short brown hair, caring eyes, and an adorable smile that made Charlotte's knees weak.
Charlotte couldn't meet his eyes. That feeling in her throat was rising, and she knew if it became any larger she wouldn't have the strength to contain it. It was too much. She needed some place to think. Or at least a place to escape from her thoughts.
"Ollie, I—"
He pressed that finger up against her lips again and linked his hand around her wrist, leading her out into the corridor.
"Wait," Charlotte tried again.
He drew her in close to him once more. "Can't it wait until we've caught up? I haven't seen you all summer, Lot."
She looked into his eyes, tucking a red curl behind an ear. "No, Oliver. I'm...just not feeling very well. And I'm hungry—I skipped dinner last night."
This was half true: she was starving (though she didn't think her stomach could hold anything at the moment), and she certainly did not feel up to snuggling up to Oliver, who was so sweet and loyal and caring and protective and—
She bit the inside of her cheek.
Oliver kissed her softly on the mouth, only deepening her guilt. It was such a gentle gesture.
"Then of course I can wait." He smiled. "I'll see you in Trans, then?"
Charlotte nodded weakly. He tucked her hair behind her ear and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I'll miss you." His eyes were almost too much for her to bear, but then he was gone, and she was leaning against the corridor wall, wishing things could just be simple for once in her life.