Scenario 15-''I Still Love You.''
Neal professed his feelings for her after her ordeal with Blayce and Stenmun. When they finally had the opportunity to be alone, he sobbed and held her.
''You scared me,'' he told her, ''oh Kel, I was so scared.''
She personally was scared, too; however, she could tell a different, more potent sort of fear rocked his bones. His breath conveyed a helpless terror that conveyed more than words ever could.
And then... he kissed her. He kissed her with a frenzied, hard need; one fueled both by the feelings he had been suppressing for so long and the feeling that had wracked him to his core for the past hour. And that kiss also told her more than he ever could.
The following nine months of their relationship were amazing. They were a brilliant fiery burning in both of their hearts.
He proposed to her on an especially cold winter day. The wind whipped hard against their faces but neither of them cared. Neal just took her out to the forest and bent down on one knee.
''Keladry of Mindelan, will you marry me?''
She said yes, of course, with tear-stained eyes and a big smile plastered on her face.
But then something happened. Kel didn't know what but something did. It was something that Neal didn't speak about but she could feel its presence there.
The next time that Kel saw Neal she knew something had happened. His face was stony as he went up to her.
''Neal what....'' she began.
''The engagement's off,'' he said.
Kel felt her face fall, though she immediately tried to pick it up. ''You're kidding me, right?''
She was waiting for his face to soften and smile, but it never did. He simply shook his head, his facial expression unchanging.
''Why?'' she asked. Despite her attempts, hurt still leaked through her voice.
He looked away and didn't answer.
''Is it me?''
''No, it's me,'' he said.
''That's the most cliché line ever,'' Kel said. She couldn't help but have a little bitterness seep through her voice, for it was finally sinking in that he was serious.
A bitter, angry semi-laugh escaped from him. ''I know,'' he said, ''but it's true.''
They were both silent for a while, before Neal started to walk away. Kel grabbed his wrist before he could, though.
''What?'' he asked, his voice tinged with something she couldn't identify.
''Why?'' she asked, ''if you're going to leave me, if you're going to do this to me, tell me why.''
Neal looked away. ''I don't love you anymore,'' he said, a slight quaver in his voice.
Kel was overcome with shock; she found she couldn't say anything.
It was then Neal walked away, and it wouldn't be until twenty years that she would ever see him again.
She moved on with her life after he left- she advanced in her career, took on various squires, and met and married another man.
Despite everything, her love for him prevailed. She tried everything she could to forget him, but she never could. When he left her, a part of her left with him. His leaving her was something that she never really got over; sometimes she stayed up half the night with his words still burning on her heart.
When her husband died, she felt the sorrow that comes with losing a friend, not a lover.
The next time she saw him again was when they were happened stationed together. It was purely by chance, and more than Kel had ever hoped for.
At first when she saw him, she didn't recognize him. The scars and wrinkles on his face made him look a decade older than he was; the fire and brilliance that had lit up his eyes were replaced by dark shadows.
That lack of recognition only lasted a moment, however.
When she did recognize him... A strange feeling shot up her heart. It was one mixed with joy, shock and renewed heartbreak.
She didn't know what to do; it had been so long. For a moment, she just stared at him.
He didn't notice she was looking at him for the longest time. And then she caught his glance.
When her hazel eyes met his green ones, he couldn't look away. Those were the hazel eyes that he had haunted him all those years, the ones that he had so often dreamed of, so often thought of.
A look of yearning crossed his face before he remembered that he could not have her, even now. It was the flare of despair and frustration that tore his gaze from her.
Kel felt that familiar feeling well up in her at his silent yet abrupt dismissal of her.
She decided then that it was with great urgency that she had to see Neal, and soon. She had to ask him why he had left her and irrevocably shattered her heart, and confess to him that even now she loved him with an irrevocable passion.
But he avoided her. He only communicated or met up with her when he had to, and that was always when they were around others.
She approached him at dinner. He was alone, at a table far away from everybody else. This surprised Kel; Neal may have been sarcastic but he was still personable. It began to hit her how much he had probably changed.
But still.... she had to know.
Upon seeing her, Neal got up to move.
''Hello, Neal.'' She had tried to be pleasant to him, despite how she had a sinking feeling that he wouldn't respond to that.
He didn't; he just quickened his pace.
''No,'' she said, gripping his arm, ''You've put off this conversation for twenty years. We need to talk.''
''There isn't anything to talk about,'' he said, refusing to look at her.
''There is,'' she said, ''and you know it.''
His mouth tightened and he shook his head.
They stood there for a moment, not doing anything.
''Please, Neal,'' she said, ''Talk to me.''
The way she looked at him tore him up the same way it did all those years ago. He couldn't stay as solid as he did years ago; something within him broke as her face did.
Even though he knew this conversation would hurt her more than it would help her, he nodded. ''Can we do it outside?''
''Of course.''
So outside they went, the air between them heavy and thick with the storms brewing inside of them.
''How have you been?'' Kel asked.
''Good,'' Neal lied. The years without her were some of the worst of his life. Sometimes he regretted what he did, but it was usually before remembering that he didn't have a choice.
She could sense his lie. ''Really?''
''Of course,'' he said, not meeting her eyes, ''How have you been?''
''My husband died a year ago,'' Kel said.
Husband? The word hit Neal hard. And... he died. Kel must be devastated right now. He had no idea which words to say to comfort her, as he would have in the past. ''Oh. I'm sorry.''
''It's all right. He was very sick. His death was just an end to his suffering.''
''Oh.''
''At least he lived long enough to see my daughter knighted. He and I were so proud.''
''You have a daughter?''
''Two, and a son.''
Silence fell upon them.
''What about you?'' Kel asked.
''I don't have any children,'' he said, ''or a wife.''
''Oh.''
For a moment, both of them couldn't help but think of when they both yearned to be each other's spouse, both yearned to have children together. And then they couldn't help but think how much they wanted that still.
''I still love you.''
The words came out before Kel could stop them, unpolished and raw.
Neal's face changed before he could think about it, also unpolished and raw. And Kel saw it then... He still loved her.
She reached in to kiss him, and he did to. But just as Neal was about to kiss her too... All reason came flooded back in.
''No!''
Kel looked at him, utterly shocked.
''Why?'' she asked, feeling just as hurt as he had all those years ago.
Neal knew exactly why, and he knew that the Incident, the Incident that happened twenty years ago, still was enough to overcome his feelings for Kel.
Once again, he had felt the sting of it, and the storm of emotions that came with it- the loss, the shame, the guilt, the rage...
He wished with everything left in his heart that he could tell her. But he hadn't told anyone, in all those twenty years, and he still couldn't.
He turned away from her, so she couldn't see the storm raging in his soul, the shadows darkening in his eyes, the tears flowing down his cheeks.
''I can't tell you,'' he whispered, his voice strained with tears.
Kel put her hand on his shoulder.
''Yes you can,'' she said, ''You can tell me, and you can love me and...''
''No!'' he shouted.
Kel's hand on his shoulder froze and Neal could feel her flinch.
He shrugged his shoulders, forcing her hand to fall. ''I don't love you anymore,'' he said, forcing his voice to be as cold and emotionless as it had previously.
A frozen Kel watched him, he walked away, once again shattering both of their hearts.
Okay, so last time I updated pretty quickly but this time.... Not so much. So sorry! But life has been so busy... SSAT prep, my 13th b-day party, my sister's play, etc... The next chapter to In Her Darkest Hour isn't even close to being done, unfortunately. However, I will try to cram it in ASAP, and with Spring Break being so soon, I may have a more ample chance of that happening.