Alright, so I'm new at this. The only reason this story is rated "T" is because of the violence and mild language (though, I don't count "damn" and "hell" as swears.) I hope you enjoy this story and here's chapter 1.=)

Chapter 1: Stuck in a Living Hell

I don't know specifically when but the first time I had regained consciousness was around two or three days after I tried to kill myself. I kept my eyes closed as I listened to the voices I thought I heard (I couldn't be sure because I had been hallucinating a little prior to this whole mess). They were far away, as if I was listening to them through a wall. I felt disconnected to my body, like I wasn't actually there. My head hurt but I didn't acknowledge it because of the fact I felt like I wasn't really there. My eyelids were heavy from weariness, so I didn't open them. At one point I couldn't stay awake any longer and, just as I heard a fast beeping sound, blacked out.

Once I awoke for a second time I had regained enough function to actually feel the bandages on my arms, legs and chest. I could also feel the pain coming from my self-inflicted wounds. It wasn't as bad as it had been on the cliff side, but it was still overwhelming. I tried to move but found I couldn't, probably because they had sedated me or I was just too weak to do anything. I heard no voices this time but that didn't bother me.

After a while I had finally decided to open my eyes, and what I saw surprised me. Sonic, Amy, Tails, Cream and Knuckles were there. Knuckles seemed to be the only one unconcerned, for when they saw me open my eyes they all came rushing at me.

It was strange; they weren't supposed to be concerned about me; but there they were, running at me as if they had thought they'd never get to see me again. Truthfully, I wished I never did see them again. I wanted to die and they were negatively contributing to that feeling one way or another.

"Shadow; why did you do it," inquired Sonic, getting straight to the point.

I sighed; shouldn't they know why I attempted suicide? No, they shouldn't—wouldn't know why I had tried to kill myself. If they had understood how devastated I was when Maria and Rouge died, than I might have not attempted what I had a couple of days ago. No, that's not true; I'd probably of done it sooner if they had understood what I've been feeling.

"Shadow, hey! Answer me! Was it because of Maria and Rouge's deaths?" Sonic demanded, drawing my attention from my clouded thoughts. He softened a bit, I don't know why, as he continued, "I'm sorry if that's something that's too hard for you to answer but...Oh forget it, just tell us why you tried to commit suicide."

"Humph, why should you care?" I muttered, not looking at them. "Besides, are you sure it's a good idea to have Cream with us as we discuss this?" I was trying to avoid the subject and I knew Sonic could tell.

"Oh come off it. You know very well that Cream's 9 years old now!" Sonic pointed out. "She's old enough to hear this. Now stop avoiding the subject! Was it because of Maria and Rouge's deaths?"

He knew I couldn't run away from it any longer. I broke far earlier than I thought I would and confessed that that was, indeed, the reason I had attempted suicide. It was hard for me, because every word I spoke brought back the sad memories of their deaths. I hadn't been there for Rouge's but I had witnessed Maria's. She had died of her terminal illness this time, but I still blamed myself 'cause I had brought her back only to die three years later. The world I had brought her back to see had been literally killing her every second she spent on it. If she had been on the ARK, I can guarantee that she would have lived for six more years than only three, despite the fact that Maria could've died any day anyways.

"There, you happy now? You got me to confess." Why are these damned tears flowing down my face? I asked myself, turning away from them so they wouldn't see the tears.

"Shadow, are you alright?" It was Cream's voice this time. She sounded older than I thought she would, since she's only 9. It reminded me of the time when Maria came looking for me after Rouge's death (Rouge died before Maria had.)

"Shadow, Shadow where did you go? Shadow," I could hear Maria's voice echoing in the halls of Rouge's empty house. I wanted to call to her, telling her that I was right here and that I was fine, but I couldn't. Maybe it's because I would have been lying if I had told her I was alright—for I wasn't—or maybe because the shock of Rouge's death had hit me so hard that I simply could not find my voice; whatever the reason, I did not yell back to Maria. "Shadow, please answer me! Shadow-" She stopped abruptly when she entered the doorway of my room. The sight she had saw must have terrified her—I was sitting on my bed, in the corner of it, cradling my bleeding right arm with tears sliding down my face and a bloody knife on my bed next to me—for her beautiful blue eyes widened and she gasped. She, then, ran towards me and took me into her arms and that's when I completely broke. I sobbed into her shoulder—even though it should be the other way around—and started rambling on about how Rouge's death was somehow my fault. Maria kept shushing me, saying that it wasn't my fault, that I could have never stopped her from going on that mission for G.U.N. but I kept giving excuses and shooting down her soothing words. At one point, I finally calmed down enough to fall asleep but the sleep was restless, full of nightmares and images of Rouge being shot down out of the sky by the terrorists that she had gone after.

I don't know why, but her voice stirred some anger in me. Maybe it was self-loathing, or maybe the anger really was targeted towards the others. I'm not sure but the anger still caused me to snap at them. "You know what, I'm not! I'm lost without Maria and Rouge! When Rouge died, heh, the only thing that kept me sane was Maria and when she died…You guys didn't even notice. All you guys did was ignore me when I needed attention the most; and do you know what?" I gave a halfhearted, half-crazy laugh. "It sent me even further into this depression; sent me further into this living hell!"

"Hey, don't blame us!" Finally Knuckles began to speak. His voice was deeper than I last remembered it, but maybe that was because Knuckles is now 19. "You're the one that attempted that suicide, not us! Besides we t-" Knuckles was cut off by a soft sobbing sound. I turned my head to see who was crying when I saw Cream with tears flowing down her face. I looked away guiltily; I hadn't meant to make her cry; especially since she reminded me so much of Maria.

"You know what, just…Just go." I said, curling up my legs so they came up to my chest, despite the pain it caused me. Tails tried to protest, same with Amy and Sonic, but I cut across them, saying, "No, just…Just go. You're making it worse." They didn't do anything at first but after a few moments I heard their reluctant footsteps as they left my room; leaving me with my own suicidal thoughts.