Chapter 2: Depressing Flashbacks and Mental Breakdowns

Over the next few weeks I didn't get any better; truthfully, I got worse. I had nightmares that I couldn't even remember almost every night; I kept reopening my wounds because of them and I barely got any sleep. During the day I acted normal, as if my "mental breakdowns"—as the doctors called it—never had happened. Well, almost normal; I'd usually zone out while someone was talking to me. Also, when someone mentioned Maria or Rouge, I'd have one of those "mental breakdowns", so everyone avoided speaking about them around me. Though, once in a while, I'd catch Maria's or Rouge's name being spoken. The physicians that were assigned to me were puzzled about the sudden decline of mental stability and were just about ready to give up. I didn't blame them; actually, I had already given up long before they started losing hope.

Sonic, Amy and Tails visited me regularly. I didn't mind their company; truthfully, their presence was comforting to me. Somehow, though, they managed to treat me like nothing was wrong with me, even though there obviously was. Once in a while, they'd come on a day where I was having a "mental breakdown" or I was on the edge of one. They always tried to calm me down, despite that they almost never could.

One day they did end up coming while I was having a "mental breakdown". Luckily, it wasn't one of those big, noticeable ones per se, just one of them that was barely noticeable. When they had entered the room I was barely awake because of all the meds I was on (most of them had a side effect of drowsiness). Though, I wasn't facing them, so they had assumed that I was asleep.

As I heard them starting to leave the room I muttered, "I'm awake." I wasn't sure they'd hear (actually, I was hoping they'd be unable to hear me), but when I heard their cautious footsteps I knew they had.

Someone sat on my bed, I wasn't sure whom, but guessed it was probably Amy. They put their hand on my shoulder and they whispered, "Hey, how are you doing today?" It was Amy, I could tell by her tone; low but kind and soothing.

"Fine," I muttered, my left hand briefly rubbing against my right arm's fresh bandages. "The wounds on my arms keep reopening," I confessed my voice low.

"We heard," this time it was Sonic. Ever since the first visit, he's been more sympathetic towards me, despite the fact that I hate it. "You really need to stop doing that. Soon enough you're going to kill yourself, or at least inflict permanent damage to your arms."

I didn't say anything, my thoughts wandering towards last night's nightmare.

Darkness was around me. I'm not one to be afraid of the dark, but this was different; as if it was choking the life out of me. I heard a voice to my right. I turned towards it but saw nothing. There was another voice, except it was coming from behind. I didn't turn this time, knowing that nothing was there; but the voice didn't disappear this time. It kept saying something; I couldn't tell what it was saying until it got closer, "Why didn't you protect me?" It was a little girl's voice, and it kept saying that phrase over and over again. I tried to think of a little girl that I hadn't protected but I knew it would be in vain, since I only knew one "little girl". I realized who it was, and I didn't like it, "Maria." I muttered.

My eyes widened and my breathing quickened, I didn't dare turn around in fear of what I might see; but the curiosity won over the fear and I turned and what I saw terrified me. Maria's lifeless body hung in the air, the gunshot wound located over her heart that had killed her the first time had just been bleeding. Her body was pale and I didn't have to touch her hands to know that she'd be ice cold. Maria's eyes were closed and her dress soon had streaks of bloodstains going down it from the fresh blood. I looked away but the image still haunted me and the knowledge that the body was still behind me didn't help much either, so I ran away from it. More voices reached me, all of them belonging to the GUN soldiers I had killed in order to get my memory back and all their children and their significant other cursing me 'cause I had killed their loved one.

Once there were no more voices I stopped running; kneeling over to catch my breath. Then there was another voice in the air, whispering. I didn't want a repeat of Maria so I straightened and tensed to run, but it didn't matter; the body was in front of me this time. "Why didn't you stop me?" It whispered, making my blood run cold; it was Molly's voice. Her outfit was ragged and in tatters, her hair singed. Her now white as snow skin had blood on it; I wanted to look away but couldn't.

After a few minutes I heard another voice to my left, it was also whispering something. I didn't want to look but somehow I was forced to. The body was also that of a female's, but this time it wasn't human. "Why didn't you go with me?" I saw Rouge's body also floating in the air, her muzzle and exposed skin was pale. Her body was pierced with many gunshot wounds, I couldn't stand looking at her, so I looked away, but I only saw Maria once more. They all whispered their damning words, and I sank to my knees, basically pleading for them to stop and begging for forgiveness.

I had awoken from that nightmare crying, my self-inflicted wounds bleeding anew. It had taken some time to calm me down and yet I still wasn't fully recovered from it yet.

"Shadow, are you alright? Shadow," it was Sonic's voice pulling me out of my flashback. "What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing," I stammered, trying to hide the fresh pain the memory of that nightmare had brought me.

"Shadow, don't lie; just tell us the truth." Tails' voice was compassionate, as if he didn't want to upset me more than I already was.

Why don't they believe me, I asked myself. I felt something wet fall down my muzzle, and I realized that I was crying. Just great, why does this have to happen now when they're here? "I-" my mouth was dry, and it took me some time before I told them about my nightmare.

I was tired by the time I was finished explaining, and they all said soothing and comforting words to me, but I was already falling fast asleep once more, only to enter another nightmare.