Scenario 28- ''...I'd Love You Better.''
Kel would watch him with her, and Kel would watch the way he looked at her.
His eyes would shine while hers stayed dull. His smile was as bright as a million suns, while hers remained impassive.
Albeit she was a Yamani, and he was not. Culture allowed him to show his emotions, but the same was not the case for her.
Yet... She did not love him. Kel felt that innately. Yuki did not show her love for Neal, and that was not because her culture dictated it.
It was because she did not love him.
Maybe that was wishful thinking, and maybe it was a bit biased. All Kel knew is that she felt the blood rush to her face and her fists clench, whenever she saw them together.
She should have told him. She should have told him when she had the chance, when he sat down with her and asked her if she thought that Yuki would be good for him. She should not have let the lump in her throat and the shaking in her hands stop her from telling her how she really felt.
She should not have let herself plaster a smile on her face, and even worse she should not continued to do so.
She should talk to Neal, she knew. She should tell him what she thought. Yet she found herself frozen at the thought.
One night, Neal knocked on her door.
''Yuki is not receiving me in her chambers today,'' he said. ''She hasn't received me yesterday either.''
''Oh,'' Kel said.
Her friends came to her for advice about love all of the time, and she could usually come up with better than this. But this advice would affect her too, and her prospects for love.
''Do you think she's angry at me, Kel?''
No, she thought. I just think she doesn't appreciate you enough. She doesn't appreciate you nearly enough.
She tried to think what she would say if it were Seaver or Owen or Cleon coming up to her. If she were unbiased, if she was just thinking of how both he and Yuki would benefit from this.
''Have you said anything hurtful to her?'' Kel said. ''You know how thoughtless you can be with your words sometimes.''
''No,'' he said. ''I don't think that I have.''
''Maybe you should try to talk with her.'' Kel knew that him talking to her probably wasn't the most productive thing to do.
The words were under her lips, ready to burst those words. Those words. I love you, stay with me, dump her...
Kel clamped her mouth shut, wishing that she was not such a coward when it came to love.
''She refuses to talk to me,'' Neal said, his eyes full of confusion and worry. ''I... I don't even know what I did.''
Kel's thoughts refused to stay back. Maybe it's not you, Neal, she thought. Maybe it's just her. She shouldn't have you if she doesn't even know how to treat you.
Kel flinched at her own cruel thoughts. She's your friend, she thought to herself. So is Neal. They are both very good people and they both deserve each other. You put yourself into this situation not her.
Kel held back these thoughts by trying to think of a solution for this problem. ''Maybe Shinko can try talking to her.''
''Or you could,'' Neal said.
Yes she could. She just didn't know how she could ever be able to.
''I'll do my best,'' she said.
I'll do my best not to convince her that she isn't good enough for him, Kel thought.
''Thank you,'' Neal said. ''It would mean a lot to me.''
Kel gulped, trying to swallow the lump that was beginning to form in her throat.
Neal left, and Kel chastised herself for being so stupid. It was a stupid thing to cry over, her love for Neal. She knew that he could never return her love, especially not with Yuki in the picture.
She wondered, for what seemed like the billionth time, how she could be so cowardly and insensible when it came to love.
In the weeks to come, this scenario would play out again and again and again. Neal would come knocking at her door, asking her advice as Yuki refused him yet again. Kel felt anger broil in her veins each time, swearing that she would know better to treat Neal like a piece of garbage if she ever had him.
He would swear that he would not go back to her, and then go back to her every time with some pseudo argument that she used.
Yuki did not love Neal. She was making that clear now; even their friends were becoming turned off from her. Kel knew that she could not make a move on Neal; if she did, she knew she would get a negative response. Her friends were trying to talk to Neal about Yuki, but he would not listen to them.
One day he came too her room, and she noticed that something had changed. His face was contorted with anger and bitterness instead of the usual mix of desperation, sorrow and resignation.
''Neal?'' she asked. ''Neal, what happened?''
''Yuki,'' he said.
''What did she do?''
''Janjii. She and Janjii…''
''She cheated with him?''
''I should've seen it coming.''
''I'm sorry, Neal.''
He sighed, and Kel swore that she saw tears swimming in his eyes.
''I was so stupid.'' He shook his head and laughed bitterly.
''No, Neal, you weren't. You were just in love.''
''Isn't that one in the same thing?''
Kel did not know what to say.
''Of course she did it,'' Neal said. ''Because I am so smart and so resistant to love, right? She figured I was perfect for her.''
''More like the perfect target,'' he added.
''If I had you,'' Kel made herself say before reason got the better of her, ''I'd have loved you better.''
''What?'' Neal said, looking at her suddenly.
''You heard me,'' Kel said, looking at the ground with an uncharacteristic shyness. ''I would have known better than to have wasted you. She's lucky to have had you in the first place.''
Kel, despite everything in her head that screamed at her not to do it, leaned in to kiss him.
He did not pull back. For a moment, she let herself savor the feeling of his breath on her tongue.
''I have to go practice,'' Kel said when she pulled back. ''Make sure to lock the door behind you please.''
Just like that, she got her glaive and a coat, and walked away leaving a stunned Neal gaping behind her.
Okay, so that's the last of my scenarios... Leave a review if you have an idea for anything else.