Nightmare
Written by: HoshiHikari
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI NY
Summary: Stella's son gets abducted. As she waits anxiously for the kidnappers' to call, she ponders how she is going to find Mac, who had gone undercover, and break the news to him. Little does she know, her husband already knows about the kidnapping as he had participated in the abduction of his own child.
Parings: Mac and Stella
Author Notes: First off I want to apologize for the long delay. I'll also like to thank everyone who has checked up on me and encouraged me to write despite Melina's departure and that huge writers block that I suffered from.
Chapter 4
"Did Pete and Evan hurt you while I was away son?" I asked quietly after having gobbled my dinner and then retreated into Adrian's room after telling the other two that I didn't mind keeping a watchful eye over the boy as they made sure the ransom was progressing.
"The skinny man checked on me twice just to make sure I was here but he didn't do anything."
"Wonderful." I sighed with relief. From inside of my jacket pocket I took out a bag. I took out two Costco sized sliced pizzas and handed it to Adrian.
"I know you're not that fond of pizza but it'll have to do for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow. I'm sorry son, but its the best I can do without being too obvious."
"I know dad. This is better then nothing."
I gave my son a tentative smile.
"I'll make it up to you, Adrian, I promise."
"You'll more then make it up by making sure both of us gets out of this alive."
"Don't talk like that Adrian. If you're going to die it'll be from your mom squeezing you to death the next time we see her. If I'm going to die it'll be because your mother murders me for pulling this stunt. Of course then I'll die a happy man because at least I know you're in capable hands."
"But then I'll be put in child custody and probably end up in an orphanage because mom becomes a murderer and you're well, dead."
"Do remember to tell your mom that the next time we see her. That may very well save my life." I tried to laugh but ended up choking.
"Thanks dad." Adrian said after my coughing fit finally stopped. "Thanks for trying to make me laugh, for tying to get me distracted."
"Speaking of being distracted, I know just the thing to help you keep your mind off of this."
It was 7:30AM and I was already standing outside the small diner that Mac, Adrian and I always went to every Sunday morning. I was half an hour early but I didn't care. I was hoping that by the time Mac arrived, I would have composed myself enough to either not tackle him for the little stunt of dropping off the face of the Earth or to not breakdown in panic as I broke the news of our son being kidnapped.
Kidnapped. Oh god, how in the world was I suppose to tell Mac that? How was I even suppose to break the news to him? No parent would ever want to hear that their child had been taken away from them.
And then another thought entered my mind.
Will Mac blame me? Is he going to hate me for this? Will this tear us apart? My head ponders.
The answers came quickly. Yes, yes and yes. Of course Mac will blame me. Of course Mac will hate me. Of course this was going to end up with an ugly divorce.
Closing my eyes I tried to calm down a little by regulating my breathing. The negative thoughts and possibilities were not helping.
But this is Mac we're talking about. My heart protested. Once he finds out, he'll abandon his operation and turn his full attention to finding our son. We're work together. We'll find Adrian together. We'll put those criminals behind bars together. We'll do that and more together. We'll be able to pull through.
At the same time you lost his trust Stella. My head counters. And you know how important trust means to him. He trusted you to care for Adrian. And you failed him. Out of all the things he trusted you to be able to do, you failed him with the most important one.
Taking another deep breath, I tried to push my thoughts and feelings aside. I've already been bombarded with enough what ifs and I'm sure I'll continue to be be bombarded by them later on. The least I could do now was to clear my mind as much as possible when I finally face Mac. Having decided that, I stepped into the diner.
"Stella," I was immediately greeted by James, the manger of the diner.
"James," I acknowledged with a small smile. "You look great."
"So do you Stella, so do you." He said with a smile, using one hand to beckon me to follow him.
"James, Mac's coming in later so perhaps a bigger table?" I mentioned when he stopped at a table meant for a single person at the back of the diner. "Perhaps a little more private too? Mac and I haven't seen each other in a while so you know."
I had noticed a single occupant whose back was toward the wall and was reading a newspaper so that I couldn't see his or her face was seated at the next table and didn't really want anyone overhearing our conversation.
"The usual?" James asked, ignoring my request which was strange. He's usually quite accommodating to his regulars, especially to us since he had claimed we were his favorite NYPD couple.
"Stella?" James asked again when I didn't immediately reply.
"Yes the usual. Thanks James, I'll take it from here."
I jumped when Mac's voice came from the single occupant seated at the other table. I turned to face the occupant completely, noticing that the newspaper was now on the table. I frowned when I noticed the man staring back at me was wearing one of those tourist made NYPD baseball caps low so that the shadows it created shaded most of his face.
"Mac?" I questioned, immediately making my way to his table. He stopped me halfway with a small shake of his headed and nodded to the table that James had originally brought me to.
"But." I tried to protest.
"Stella, just sit there."
"Mac.."
"Please Stell." Mac's voice was serious and almost pleading. "and just pretend we don't know each other."
"But..."
Mac had already picked up his newspaper and had already buried his head in it. Letting a frustrated sigh, I returned to the table that James had brought me to and plopped myself down. A minute later, James brought me my usual before leaving quickly, once again leaving the two of us relatively alone in that section of the diner.
"Mac," I tried to talk to him again, yet he completely ignored me. Instead he kept on reading the paper. Once in a while he would pick up his coffee, take a sip and then put it down again. Never again did he spare a glance at me, talk to me or even acknowledge my presence. He just kept drinking his coffee and reading that damn paper.
Finally I couldn't help it anymore. I was angry. I was already angry before with the whole undercover thing and then the kidnap thing and now I was angry that Mac had the nerves to suddenly surface, request my presence and then pretend that I don't exist.
"Damn it Taylor!" I hissed as loudly as I dared to so that we wouldn't attract too much attention. I went over to his table again and yanked the newspaper out his hand. I tried to grab his cap but he merely pulled his head away so that it was out of reach.
"What the hell are you playing at Taylor. First you disappear from the face of the Earth for a year without explanation or reassurance of your safety. Then you suddenly decide to resurface and request a secret meeting between us. Now I'm here and you have the nerve to pretend that I'm not here, that I don't exist. How dare you..."
"Stell, you know why I disappeared from the face of the Earth for the last year."
"I know now. The Chief was kind enough to inform me..."
"Then you should know the risk I'm taking to see you before the operation is complete. Besides I told you..."
"No you didn't. You just said undercover and not a word more. I had to beg the chief..."
"I heard you the first time. Besides if the chief told you then it makes..."
"but you didn't hear me McCanna Boyd Taylor!" I snapped back with his full name, effectively cutting him off. "and what does it make easier? Makes you going undercover easier?"
"Makes it easier for you to understand where I come from!"
"Come from what? What are you talking about?"
"There's a package under your chair." Mac suddenly stood up, pushing me aside. "It'll explain everything."
"Explain what?"
"Everything!" he snaps back. He strides pass me but I reach out and grab his wrist.
"Our son's been kidnapped." I finally hissed. "Do you think I care about what's in that package? Do you think at this very moment I give a damn about what you were doing this last year? Our son has been..."
I had expected to be cut off with a loud what or at least with Mac spinning around to demand an explanation. Though he did interrupt me, the response wasn't one that I had expected.
"I know." Mac said ever so quietly, not even turning around. The words shocked me to my core. My hand slacked and he pulled away. Rooted to the floor, I watched him walk out the diner without turning back.
I don't know how long I stood there. Mac's last words kept repeating in my head on replay. Finally I made my way back to my table, reached under the chair and pulled out the manilla envelop. Taking a seat again, I spilled the contents onto the table.
Suddenly my world was swirling again. I gripped the table and hopped to regain my composure although I knew that was impossible. The implications that the items in the envelop presented was terrifying.
I know.Mac's last words floated into my head again. Of course he knew and this was why.
Again I stared at 2 items on the table. One was a disposable phone and the other was a photo of Adrian tied up, lying on a bed in a fetal position.
There was only one possible explanation that Mac would come across this photo and that reason was just absolutely sickening.
Mac Taylor, my best friend of 2 decades, my partner at work whom I would not hesitate to die for, my husband who is my prince charming had kidnapped his son, our son, and didn't seem at all interested in returning him alive.
I know I shouldn't have treated Stella like that. I know I shouldn't have broke the news to her like that and fled like a coward. But I had and somehow I couldn't picture myself doing it any other way. Truthfully I am a coward. If I was a man then none of this would have happened. I would have stepped up and stopped this madness long before it got this far. But I didn't and now everything's just spinning out of control.
Stella, now you know what I'm doing. I just hope you understand why I have to continue doing it this way.
I pull myself together as I step into the house that has been turned into a criminal's lair, wishing that I could have just told Stella the address and let her bring the big boys. However I knew that she was probably very emotional strung at the moment and having known her for so long, I knew that an emotional strung Stella was going to mess up and this was one operation that could not afford any mistakes.
"Where have you been Mac?" Evan demands as I shut the door behind me.
"Decided to pick up some breakfast after my morning jog. You know I do that right?"
"Morning jog yes, breakfast no. You don't eat breakfast, ever."
"I was hungry. Don't know about the two of you but last night's meal didn't quite agree with my stomach. I was up most of the night suffering from diarrhea."
"Now that you mention it Mac, you don't look too good." Evan continued.
I didn't expect to look good. The undercover operation was already a lot of stress and now that Adrian is involved, I didn't think I'll look any better.
"I'll be okay. I'm sure whatever it was is out of my system now." I paused as I noticed Pete dialing a number on a disposable phone. "What's he doing?"
"Giving the money drop off location." Pete replied as his fingers continued to press the numbers.
"I doubt the money's ready." I say. "It's one million dollars. Money don't grow off of trees. Aren't they usually given 72 hours or something to come up with the money?"
"What makes you think that?" Pete asked, pausing his fingers.
"TV shows and movies."
"This isn't one or the other." Evan cut in. "This is real life and..."
"Good thing too because the bad guys always get caught in fiction." I say with a forced smile. "I'm just saying we're not in a hurry or anything. We can give them a few more hours to come up with the money."
"You're not in a hurry but Drake is." Pete pointed out.
"Drake runs the damn operation. He has other people providing him with a steady supply of children in the meantime." I tried to reason, doing my best to conceal my anger. "Besides he gave me the okay to run this by my rules."
"Very well. I suppose he did say that." Pete hung up the phone.
"Thank you." I made my way to Adrian's room again.
"Babysitting again?" Evan asked.
"Got nothing better to do."
"Come join us. We're finalizing the plans of how to successfully retrieve the money."
"I'm not good with that. I'm still new remember? Just tell me what to do." I said. Without waiting for a reply, I stepped into my son's room and locked the door behind me.
"How are you doing Adrian?" I ask with concern as I approached my soon.
"As good as I can be considering the circumstances."
"Just hang in there boy." I walked up to him and drew him into a tight hug.
"So were you able to take some photos?" I asked after releasing my son.
"Uh huh." he replies, taking out the disposable camera that I had given him along with the pizza the night before.
I flipped through the photos and smiled, using one hand to affectionately ruffle his hair.
"These are good son, very good."
"I learned from the best." Adrian replied proudly.
"So did this help you stay distracted?"
"Very."
"And did they suspect anything?"
"I don't think so. I'm sure they would have done something if they did."
"Indeed, they probably would have. Thanks son, you don't know how much you've helped with this case."
"Then maybe you and mom can let me help with more cases in the future? Instead of those hypothetical cases I get, perhaps I can solve real ones now?"
"Sure Sherlock. You can do all my paperwork."
I had to conceal my laughter when Adrian launched his small body on me and I fell flat on my back, falling mercy to his tickling fingers.
I don't know how I made it back to the lab safely but one minute I was at the diner and the next minute I was on Mac's computer again. At first I was going to run prints on the phone and photo but then I was afraid of getting caught examining either one. So far no one else knows about my detour this morning, nor does anyone else know about Mac's involvement or how I came into possession of these items. The repercussions of anyone finding out would be deadly. Not only would I be kicked off of the investigation but I would probably become a suspect too. After all how I am suppose to explain what happened in a logically and reasonable way. How can I explain that I had let Mac walk out of that diner and disappear into thin air after finding out the he's responsible for Adrian's disappearance.
Can't believe I'm aiding Mac with kidnapping our son by hindering the investigation by withholding vital information that could probably lead to rescuing Adrian safely. Can't believe I'm breaking the law yet I have no reassurance of desired results.
Desired results. What exactly were those again? Rescuing Adrian was one. Catching the criminal was the other. But how was that suppose to be achieved. How could that be achieved when the person I'm going against is Mac?
My team does not sacrifice integrity for desired result. Mac had once said with pride at one of those police conventions. Back then I had basked in the praise. Now I didn't know what to feel.
To hell with integrity. My brain screams. Mac had obviously sacrificed that when he decided to partake in kidnapping. He broke his oath to the badge, he broke his oath to you. You have every right to do the same Stella! Why are you even sitting here? Why haven't you let you motherly instincts take over by doing something rash.
I really wanted to do that last part. I really wanted to act irrational. After all my son was kidnapped and my husband was the one that did it. Surely I was entitled to act crazy.
But you can't Stella. You do that and he walks. You lose your integrity, you break protocol and Mac walks. Mac walks for kidnapping.
I really didn't know what to think about that last part. I know that Mac will eventually have to pay for this stunt but I don't know if I really wanted to. The police side of me had said that yes, Mac deserves to pay for this. However the wife side really wasn't sure. Did I really want to send Mac away? Do I really want Adrian to grow up without a father?
Gods Mac, look at the kind of moral dilemma you placed me in. How do you expect me to chose? How do you expect me to do what's right in a situation like this. What exactly is the right thing to do in a situation like this?
Thankfully I was spared from answering those questions. The vibration of the disposable phone in my pocket drew me back to the present. Taking out the phone I noticed there was a new text message. I hesitated for a split second before opening the message.
I know your world has been turned upside down. Believe me when I say that so have mine. I know seeing me right now is probably not the best thing to do, but if you can promise to refrain from murdering me at first sight then I have something to give you that you may find of interest. Name the place and I'll be there shortly.
"Chinese take out for lunch?" I asked to no one in particular as I stepped out of Adrian's room.
"Sure. Get me one of those chicken fried rice." Pete replied.
"How about you Evan?"
"Same thing. I'm not that hungry."
"Alright then. Be back as soon as I can." I say, taking my leave. Once outside, I pulled out my own disposable phone and read the text that I had received moments ago. I frowned at Stella's choice of meeting area. It was a crummy neighborhood and definitely an area that neither of us would venture without good reason.
She's definitely going to kill you. Despite my head's protest, I hail a cab and give the driver the address. The ride turned out to be a quick one and after I had gotten out, the cab drove away quickly, not wanting to linger in a bad part of town.
Hoping to at least be giving the chance to explain myself before I get killed for my actions, I ducked into the alleyway where I was half expecting to come face to face with the barrel of a gun held by wife. I let out a sigh of relieve when all that greeted my was an empty alleyway.
This is the right spot is it not? Better double check. Like you said, this isn't an area that you or Stella would willingly frequent.
Just as I take out the disposable phone from my pocket, a pair of hands come from behind, grabs a hold of me and then slams me against the wall, effectively knocking the wind out of me. The NYPD hat that I have been using to conceal my identity goes flying, landing a good distance away. Before I could protest I feel something cold press against the back of my neck. Then a set of hands, an all too familiar set of hands none too gently frisks with for concealed weapons which of course I have none.
"Gods Stell, play nice will you. I know you're pissed but this isn't neces..."
"Where is he Mac?"
"Stella.."
"Where is he Mac?" I feel the gun being pressed further into the back of my neck. "Give me a reason and I swear..."
"Lower the damn gun Stella!"
"Where is he Mac?"
"Lower the damn gun!"
"Where's Adrian, Mac?"
"Lower the..." I pause when I hear the safety trigger being released.
"If you don't answer the question in the next two seconds then I swear I'll blow your brains outs."
"Which I would have thoroughly deserved." I say quietly. "However if you kill me now you won't ever get to see Adrian alive. If I'm not back by a certain time, the others will know that something's happened to me and knowing that they won't hesitate with killing him."
I let out a sigh of relief when Stella lowers her gun. She spins me around so that I am now facing her instead of the wall."
"There are others?"
"Of course there are others. Did you really think I did this by myself? Did you really think that if I was acting alone, that I would even ponder kidnapping, let alone kidnapping my own son?"
"I don't know Mac, you've done some crazy things..."
"not by choice."
"Prove it! Your unwillingness to offer me the exact location of where my son currently is residing at states otherwise."
"You know I can't..."
"Yes you can!"
"I brought you names." I say, pulling out a manilla envelop and throwing it onto the ground in between us.
"I need an address!"
"You know I can't give you that. You and the team will merely charge in and create havoc. Adrian's going to die in the crossfire."
"Not if you're there protecting him!"
"Not if I get shot first! Shoot now, ask later. I know how hostage situations work. I'm part of the NYPD too or did you forget about that?"
"Oh I remember." Stella says coldly. "You're the one who seemed to have forgotten!"
"Believe me Stell, I haven't forgotten my roots. That tourist cap reminds me everyday."
"Really?"
"Really Stella. Please believe me. In all the years that we've known each other, I've never given you a reason to believe otherwise."
"Until now. Until you decided to add kidnapping onto your rapt sheet."
"Do I have one of those now?"
"You tell me Mac." She snaps back.
"I already told you that I'm an unwillingly participant."
"Your actions state otherwise. Your unwillingness to..."
"I already told you Stella that I can't give you the address. Why can't you understand that..."
"You're right. I don't understand. How can a father kidnap his own son? How can a father do nothing along the lines of helping his son escape. You're right Mac, I don't understand any of that!"
"I love Adrian." I say ever so softly. "I will die for him if I must. However I will not die if my death only leads to his demise. Do you how reckless it would have been if I stopped the kidnapping? The school would have turned into a shooting ring. Do you know reckless it its now if I suddenly grab the boy and leave. They'll shoot the both of us even before we reach the front door."
Stella said nothing and so I continued.
"The only way to protect him now is if I'm in the loop. You and the team do your job and I do mine."
"Give me the address Mac."
"If I do that, you'll just do something rash and irrational." I paused."I want them caught Stella. I don't want them to walk. I know if I give you the address now, you'll skip procedure and then they'll walk."
"But at least Adrian will be alive and safe. Isn't that enough."
"No Stella, it's not. They have to pay for what they did."
"Please Mac, just give me the location."
"I'm not asking much Stella. All I'm asking is for you to trust me. You do your job and I'll do mine. If this is going to work, we've got to trust each other." I ran my hand through my hair. "I know my word probably means nothing right now, but I promise that no matter what happens I'll make sure Adrian comes home safely."
Well here it is, chapter 4, the chapter that I had been struggling with because of the types of emotions that Mac and Stella should be experiencing. It's not really how I pictured it, but I hope that I was able to get Stella and Mac's perspective across. Please take some time to review. Positive feedback and criticism will really help me get back on track, so thanks in advance.