A/N: Thank you for your reviews! Please enjoy the beginning of the Marauders Second Year. Oh and by the way since I forgot a disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own any of this world. Cheers!

No Sucking up and There'll be Mucking Up

"I still hate this," Remus muttered as the four Marauders gathered at the end of the table closest to the stage.

"You're losing your nerve Lupin," James teased, clicking his tongue playfully.

Remus looked at him pointedly. "I never had one in the first place!"

"Well it's time you got one!" Sirius put in, making Remus roll his eyes and frown.

"Who do we pick?" Peter whispered as McGonagall led the First Years in to the Hall and lined them up by the stage.

"I know which Slytherin I want…" Sirius said rather maliciously as he glared at his brother near the front of the line. The younger boy looked very much like Sirius, especially as Sirius scowled at him, but the other boys noticed that his eyes were not as kind and looked particularly shifty as he looked at the Slytherin table.

"Well, I'm sorry but I have to go with that Hufflepuff," James said, pointing to a tiny girl with freckles and bright red hair.

"Remind you of someone?" Sirius teased, looking pointedly at Lily Evans who was watching the Sorting quietly with Mary MacDonald a few seats away.

James shoved him hard and Sirius burst in to laughter. Regulus snapped his head around and glared but Sirius simply put a finger to his mouth and grinned at Professor Dumbledore who smiled at him indulgently.

"Who should I do?" Peter said, scanning the line.

"How about him…looks like Davey Gudgeon's brother. So probably, Ravenclaw," James said, nodding to someone who was waving to Davey.

"And that leaves Remus with good old Gryffindor."

"I won't!" Remus said defiantly.

"Gryffindors are the most likely to laugh it off as a joke Remus…it's easy."

Remus sighed at this reasoning. "Fine, I'll choose her. I think she's Jessie Leon's sister."

"Brill…" Sirius said, rolling up his sleeves.

"Don't make it so obvious!" Remus protested. Sirius clicked his tongue, but lowered his wand under the table.

After two students went through their Sorting painlessly, the small redhead who James thought would become a Hufflepuff walked up to the stool, quivering.

"Keira Abbott!" Professor McGonagall called as the girl put the hat over her head. James got ready as the hat opened it's flap of a mouth and yelled, "HUFFLE-"

Keira landed with a plop on the ground as one of the stool's legs buckled and the hat finished "PUFF!"

The crowd was slightly stunned but a few could not hold back their laughter. As the poor redhead turned a brilliant shade of crimson, James heard Lily groan.

"Aw…poor kid."

But the Hufflepuffs would not allow their House member to be embarrassed, they rose to their feet and clapped raucously for her, with huge smiles on their faces. She smiled tentatively at them and walked over with a little more skip in her step. Professor McGonagall, fixed the chair and looked around the room with narrowed eyes. She stopped momentarily on the Marauders but they weren't laughing any harder than anyone else and seemed to be clapping encouragingly, so she let it go.

Sirius gasped for breath. "God, my sides ache. Hard to keep it down when Minnie's watching eh?"

"Don't call Professor McGonagall Minnie!" Remus said in shock but Sirius grinned.

"Shush, my brother's up next."

"Regulus Black!"

Regulus Black walked to the stool, his head held high and tested it before sitting down. The crowd quieted down, watching the newest member of the Black family and wondering whether he would follow his brother's path. The Hat took a few moments of pondering and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"As if he's not in Slytherin."

"SLYTHERIN!" The Hat shouted almost immediately as he spoke.

The Slytherins stood and clapped, but as Regulus tried to get up from his stool, it also crashed from under him and he skidded to the edge of the stage. Lithe, with good reflexes however, Regulus managed to jump off the stage at the right moment and did not fall. This had the Slytherins erupting in appreciative applause and Sirius scowling.

"Stupid idiot," he muttered.

"He'd be a good Seeker," James said quietly but shrugged when Sirius gave him a glare.

McGonagall again watched the crowd but saw that Sirius was frowning and once again

gave them the benefit of the doubt.

Gudgeon's brother, Samuel fell shortly afterwards and though he cleverly managed to grab hold of the teacher's table and only stumble rather than fall, people still laughed, shaking their head at the random occurrences. McGonagall however was certain she now knew who was behind the pranks. The Marauders were laughing this time, though she noticed Peter Pettigrew hastily stashing his wand and Sirius hissing in annoyance at him. She hurried through the rest of the sorting at last coming to the final student, "Effy Leon!"

She watched the Marauders the entire time and saw Remus Lupin mutter some words, though seemingly reluctantly and Effy's chair collapsed just as she was announced a Gryffindor. The girl fell right on to her bum and the crowd looked stunned once more, as it had been quite a nasty fall. But Effy jumped right to her feet, rubbed her bum and took a deep bow making the Hall fall in to appreciative laughter and loud clapping from the Gryffindor table, especially the Marauders who were on their feet and patting her on the back as she passed.

"It seems our stool has been quite dysfunctional today, though I am certain Professor McGonagall had found the culprits for the mishaps. A silly prank, though I must say it did bring out the best qualities in each of our Houses. All right, speeches after we're nice and full! Pip, pip!" Professor Dumbledore said, standing with a wide smile and twinkling eyes. Professor McGonagall however was making a beeline to the Marauders who were exchanging sheepish, guilty looks. When the Hall noticed her yelling "Detention!" at them, several students laughed while others nodded knowingly. "Of course it was those Four!"

"The Marauders again!"

"Should've guessed!"

The first week of term began slowly, nothing much happening on the first few days as life at Hogwarts began to settle in to swing once more. On Friday they had their first Potions lesson and of course the Marauders paired off immediately.

"No, no none of that!" Professor Slughorn said, walking over to them chuckling. "I don't want my classroom blown up. Black, please pair off with Miss Wood and Potter with Miss MacDonald if you please."

Remus and Peter shrugged sympathetically at their friends but were happy that they did not have to split up. Meanwhile, James went over to a blushing Mary and Sirius ignored Kelly's scowl as he sat.

As they began to make their Potions, Kelly turned to Sirius. "Don't talk to me."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I really hadn't planned on it."

"It's only this Potion we need to work together on, so just keep out of my way."

"Hmm…I guess I'll just sit back then, shall I?"

She glared at him fiercely with her dark blue eyes until he shuddered.

"Merlin, ice queen, what do you want?"

"Go get the ingredients while I light the fire," she hissed irritably as she opened her Potions kit and pushed his cauldron aside.

Grumbling, Sirius got to his feet and went to the store cupboard where James was collecting he and Mary's ingredients.

"Why are girls so stupid?" he said as he angrily collected vials and bottles from the shelves.

James shrugged. "Mary and I are both useless at Potions…I reckon she only got by before when she had Evans nearby."

"Why do we have to do Group Potions anyway? We never had to do it last year," Sirius said as he poked his head out of the cupboard to check the ingredients list.

"I don't really care. It could be worse."

"You mean you could be stuck with the Ice Queen loner?" Sirius said angrily.

James laughed. "Don't let her get under your skin mate. We avoid her, she avoids us."

But suddenly his face got serious.

"Hang on, she's Devon Wood's sister. He's Quidditch captain."

"So?"

"Sirius, I have to be on the team!"

"So you will be."

"Not if she hates us!"

Sirius gave James a look of disbelief before he left the cupboard. As if Kelly Wood would stop James Potter's getting what he wanted. He dumped the supplies on the desk beside Kelly's cauldron, which she was carefully filling with water from the end of her wand. She scowled at the disturbance.

"Cut up the roots."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Sirius said, grinding his teeth. Oh if only it wasn't wrong to hurt a girl.

"Well do what the board says then!" she snapped.

"Just. Stop. Talking," Sirius said slowly and deliberately as if she were two years old. She rolled her eyes and went back to stirring. Reluctantly Sirius began to cut up the roots into perfect shreds. He was much better at Potions than James, even better than Remus and miles and miles superior to Peter but he wasn't sure if Kelly Wood was any good or not. Since he'd decided to leave her to herself last year, he hadn't even noticed her. He cut his roots up carefully and placed them beside her before turning to the newt eyes and squeezing the juice out of them efficiently. He then quartered them and checked on her progress. She was doing all right, stirring in the roots, but her motion wasn't consistent so the color was a tiny bit off. He remembered vaguely from his mother's instructions to Kreacher in their kitchen at home that a little lemon juice solved that, so he dug in his bag for one of the lemons he'd been planning on throwing at Peeves on their way to their next lesson.

He cut a slice and held it out to her.

"Er, the colour is a bit off…one squeeze of this should fix it."

"The colour is not off. I've been doing everything perfectly," Kelly said, barely looking at him.

"Um…then why is it pale blue instead of lavender?"

"It just takes a minute."

"Add the lemon juice. I promise, it helps," he said trying to smile at her. She looked at him and rolled her eyes, laughing.

"Do you really think a smile is all it takes to change my mind Black? I said, stay out of my way."

"Bloody hell," Sirius said throwing the lemon down. "Fine, I won't help."

"Good," she said, snatching up the tray of newt eyes and pouring the juice in before adding the eyeballs. Sirius opened his mouth but shut it immediately. The juice was supposed to go in second, now their Potion would blow up about seven minutes after she added the thyme. Sirius finished measuring out the remaining ingredients and leaned back on the hind legs of his chair with a smug smile. The cauldron was starting to billow thick red smoke and Kelly's deep purple-black hair was frizzing up around her head. She coughed as she continued to stir, looking around frantically.

"Miss Wood! Mr Black! Whatever did you do wrong?" Slughorn said, running towards them and fanning the smoke away.

"Nothing!" Kelly answered, her voice more high pitched than usual.

"She put the eye juice in first," Sirius said matter-of-factly.

"And you knew this would happen?" Slughorn said as Kelly's mouth dropped open.

"Yup!"

"But Mr Black, this is a team effort!"

Sirius shrugged, "She wanted me to stay out of the way."

"But why Miss Wood when Black received higher marks in Potions last year?"

"I didn't know that," Kelly sulked.

"Well unless you find a way to fix it, you'll both get a zero," Slughorn said, shaking his head and walking over to where Lily and Severus were beaming at their perfect shiny grey Potion, two steps away from being silver and finished. Even James and Mary's light coloured potion looked better than Sirius' but he wasn't going to back down.

"How do we fix it?" Kelly said, flipping through her textbook.

"We?" Sirius laughed.

"Come on, you heard him! You'll get a zero too."

"Don't care. I can make it up…you though…probably won't."

Kelly stared at the Potion and back to Sirius who was still smiling.

"Just fix it ok? It looks like it's going to explode."

Sirius smiled serenely and leaned back in his chair once more. "Nah, I don't think I will."

"Look, I'll knock you off that bloody chair."

"Won't help the Potion," Sirius sing-songed.

Kelly was getting desperate as Sirius started to walk over to talk to James.

"Black!" she yelled when he was half way across the room. He turned slowly and looked expectant.

"Please," she muttered under her breath.

"I'm sorry?" Sirius asked theatrically, cupping a hand to his ear.

"I said, Please!" she said louder.

Sirius grinned widely and winked at James. "And what am I?"

"Besides a git?" she snapped.

Sirius sighed dramatically and turned back to his friend.

"Ok, ok, what do you want me to say?" she asked desperately.

"That I'm the Potions Master."

Kelly glared.

"No sucking up and you'll be mucking up," he grinned, tauntingly.

"Fine, You'rethebloodyPotionsMaster….. Just Help!"

"Thank you," he said bowing and practically skipping back to her. He nudged her out of the way and began to throw some ingredients in to the cauldron. Slowly the smoke stopped billowing and Kelly saw the Potion was at least grey if not silver. He looked at the Potion and tapped his chin thoughtfully before reaching for the lemon and giving it a squeeze.

The Potion blew up in their faces.

As the smoke cleared, everyone stared at the two Gryffindors with bright purple, smoky faces and fell in to silence. Sirius blinked and then chuckled. And then burst into full blown laughter.

"Oops I guess lemon and brushian root don't mix."

The class began to laugh as he turned and shrugged at Kelly who was blinking at him in disbelief. She seemed to be lost for words as Slughorn came over.

"Ah well, at least you saved it from becoming Poison. Pop it in a vial and I'll mark it with the rest," he said, handing them both a wet towel to clean up.

"I….I…." Kelly was mumbling with fury as she cleaned her face.

"Oh relax, it won't be so bad," Sirius said with a shrug as he grabbed their towels and tossed them in the bin.

"Never…ever…" she muttered, still furiously refusing to look at him.

Sirius looked at his friends mouthing the word "nutter" and pointing to his temple with his finger going in circles. The class began packing up and Kelly was the first out of the room, slamming past Sirius forcefully as she went. Sirius rolled his eyes as he shouldered his bag and walked with the rest of the Marauders. Slughorn stopped him at the door however.

"It seems my classroom will be blown up as it is, so I suppose you and Potter can sit beside each other again next lesson. Miss MacDonald can switch places with you Black."

"Thanks Sir," Sirius said, grinning at James as they left the room. At least he'd never have to talk to that loon Kelly Wood again.

James was sitting in the library hiding from Sirius. It was the last possible place he would look, he was sure. Sure, Hide and Seek was a kids game but it was really fun at Hogwarts, especially when they played "Sardines" and one person hid and everyone else seeked. When you found the person hiding, you stayed with them and hung out until the last person found everyone. The Marauders had been playing this game since the start of second year and had become rather adept at sensing where each others might hide. James had volunteered to hide this time since Quidditch trials were just a week away and he wanted to look up some strategies. He sat in the back corner, at a table behind the stack with old issues of magazines like Witch Weekly and Which Broomstick? Shrugging at the silence, James sat down and pulled out his copy of Quidditch Throughout the Ages, looking up a Chaser tactic that would set him apart from the competition. Just as he was getting really in to the book, a girl cleared her throat. James looked up and flattened his hair when he saw Kelly Wood, looking at down at him as she shifted the weight from one foot to the other. She looked a little apprehensive.

"Um. Hello."

James nodded.

"Pince said you have the last copy of Quidditch Throughout the Ages."

James looked at it and then shrugged. "Oh, yeah."

"Do you mind if I look at it too?" she said, looking at the floor instead of him.

"Er…why?"

"Well…oh God, never mind," she said starting to walk away, her fists clenched.

"Wait. Why?" he asked curiously, half standing to stop her.

She turned and took a deep breath and muttered, "I'm trying out."

"You are?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"I am."

"So am I."

"I thought so. You flew well last year during lessons," she said biting her lip. For the first time James noticed that when she wasn't scowling she didn't seem as intimidating. He flattened his hair again.

"Thanks. Um, here, pull up a chair."

She stared at him for a moment and then smiled. "Thanks. I thought…." She trailed off and shook her head as she sat.

"What did you think?" he asked, pushing the book between them.

She shook her head. "Whatever."

After a few moments of silent reading, he spoke.

"I've never really talked to you before."

"Shall we keep it that way?" she said with a slight edge but he looked at her and laughed. It made her mouth twitch despite herself.

"You're funnier than you are mean, you know…" he said, looking at her with a genuine smile. She couldn't help returning it.

"Well you're nicer than you are arrogant," she said with a shrug.

"So, what position?" he asked.

"Beater."

James was surprised. "That's unusual."

"Girls are as good at boys at Quidditch."

James shook his head. "I know. Just…aren't you a bit small for Beater?"

"I have a lot of hidden rage."

James laughed. "That I can believe. I'm going for Chaser."

Kelly smiled but then hesitated. James wondered why Sirius found it so difficult to get on with her. He didn't think she was so bad.

"You don't want to practice together tomorrow, do you?" She bit her lip and scowled, as if angry at herself.

"Sure," James shrugged.

"Really?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"But do you need it? Isn't your brother the captain?"

"Would you let your sister on the team if she wasn't good enough?"

"I don't have a sister."

Kelly laughed, "You know what I mean!" she said, punching his arm in a friendly way.

James grabbed it and feigned pain. "You do have a lot of hidden rage."

"Wood? James?" Sirius was standing in front of them a look of shock on his face as they laughed together.

"And there's my cue," Kelly said standing up. "Bye James."

"See you tomorrow? After Transfiguration?" James said, nodding.

Sirius was looking between the two of them, his mouth hanging open.

"Sure, I'll see you on the Pitch," she said, a half smile on her face.

"Are you guys going on a date?" Sirius asked in disbelief.

Kelly rolled her eyes, didn't answer and waved at James before leaving. Sirius sat down, still watching as she left and then turned to James.

"I thought you'd be the last to find me!" James said, ignoring Sirius' questioning look.

"Do you fancy her now too?" Sirius demanded.

James rolled his eyes. "No, she's just not as terrible as we thought. And she likes Quidditch, so she must be all right."

"I don't believe it."

"Well, her brother is captain."

"No you dolt. I don't believe she's nice. That girl is the devil reincarnated."

James shrugged. "She's ok."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You are girl-crazy."

"Have you seen the others?" James asked, changing the subject.

"Remus is on the Quidditch Pitch looking under the stands and Peter is still searching in the dormitory," Sirius snickered.

"Snap?" James said, pulling out a deck of cards.

Ten minutes later they were being chased out of the library by a livid Madam Pince and ran head first in to Remus and Peter. Deciding the game was over, Remus suggested homework and the others reluctantly agreed, trying to avoid detention that week.

A/N: Hope you liked it, Review please! :)