Ok, sorry I haven't posted in forever… I've been working on Wings (give me a break, writing 200 pages in 6 weeks is hard work. Not to mention trimester finals and editing everything) but I promise I'll have stuff up sooner! Now, just to let you guys know, my laptop got a virus so I lost everything I had (yes, I had a chapter almost done only on my laptop) and not I have nothing. So currently, the only reason I still have my past two chapters is because I loaded them up to so please, don't kill me, not my fault. I'll have them up soon this time!!
When I woke up, I noticed I was in my room, on my bed and under my blankets. How had I gotten here? Charlie must have carried me up here after…Then it hit me. Alice was here. Edward was here. I cringed, waiting for the pain, but it didn't come. Instead, something else hit me. Why did he come back? He didn't love me any more, didn't want me. If he didn't love me any more than why had he come back?
I slowly sat up and looked around my room, expecting Edward there. I was wrong. I was all alone. Charlie had probably gone fishing with Billy like he usually did on Saturdays. But if he was gone, who was talking downstairs?
I pulled my legs so they were hanging off the bed but didn't move anymore. I wanted to find out who was talking.
I couldn't make out any of the words, but I could recognize the voices. Charlie. Edward. They didn't sound like they were getting along, like they were just barely keeping their voices down so I could sleep. Edward was doing a much better job of keeping his voice down than Charlie. I decided to make my presence know. I got up, knowing Edward would here the floor boards creak, even though Charlie wouldn't. I got up, went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up slightly then went downstairs to greet Charlie and Edward.
When I saw Charlie, it looked like he was going to bust a vein in his head. "Hi, Dad," I said, ignoring Edward.
This seemed to surprise both of them. It at least calmed Charlie down a bit.
"Bella! I wasn't expecting you to be up for a while! Are you ok? You took a nasty fall when you saw Alice," Charlie said, rushing to my side.
"I'm fine, Dad. How are you? Have you gotten breakfast yet? And I thought you were supposed to go fishing with Billy today?" I asked him, trying to keep the conversation light. Edward was completely oblivious.
"Bella?" he said, tentativly, as if I might do something irrational.
Instead of the relief I though I would have at hearing his voice, the feeling of being healed, I felt something else. Something I couldn't explain. I thought I knew something of what it was, but it confused me even more. I felt hatred. Why was I feeling this? It was irrational, completely out of the question. Yet, I still felt it, and the longer I pondered on that thought, the stronger the feeling got.
I stepped away from Charlie, walking toward Edward. Instead of the warm embrace he had been expecting, all Edward would see was cold, hard hatred.
"What do you want?" I asked him in the vilest voice I could muster. May his heart break as much as I did. May he suffer as much as he made me.
"Bella?" hurt was now visible in his eyes and thick in his voice.
Those eyes, those amazing eyes. How could I hurt such a beautiful creature?
No! I couldn't fall into the same trap as before, I just couldn't.
"Look," I said, turning back to Charlie. "How about you go fishing with Billy. I'm fine. Plus I want to see Alice. I haven't seen her in ages." I didn't really want to see Alice, but I knew I would have to get rid of Charlie if I ever wanted to figure out why he came back. It sure couldn't be for me, not in a million years. Yet why was he standing here in my kitchen?
Charlie gave a suspicious look at Edward, not trusting either of us before he said, "I'll stay here. He probably already left anyway. You go visit Alice, but be back for lunch. Got it?" he said.
"Of course. Come on, Edward, let's go see your family. I'm sure they've missed me while they were away," I said to Edward, still giving him cold eyes.
He silently walked out of the house, shut the door and got into the car. He drove us in the opposite direction of his house.
"How are you," he said, first to break the silence.
"Like you care," I said, every ounce of coldness in it.
"What's wrong? Did I come at a bad time?" he asked, concern and hurt thick in his voice.
"Come at a bad time? Come at a bad time!" I screeched. "Do you have any idea what the hell you put me through? Do you have any idea what you did to me? Come at a bad time!" I continued.
At this Edward quickly turned the car around, most likely to take us to a more privet place. "Bella, please, we need to talk. But not here, not now. Wait until we got to our meadow, ok?" he asked trying to calm me, hurt coving his face.
"Our meadow?No, no, it is your meadow! I want nothing more to do with it! Its hurt me enough in the past six months, I don't need to add to that, thank you very much!" I continued screaming at me. Edward winced slightly, I noticed, but I didn't care. Instead of continuing with my rant, I sat there, fuming while he drove us to the meadow.
Once we got there Edward silently got out and started walking toward the meadow
I followed him silently. It was a quick walk to the meadow. When we got there, I just stood there, glaring at him. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. Too bad for him. He should have left me. I was perfectly fine without him. I had Jake, Charlie, Billy, Jess, and Angela. I was perfect. All he did was destroy a good chunk of my life. And now he would pay.
"What do you want?" I asked him.
HE looked hurt beyond compare.
How can you do this to him? He loved you, my mind was trying to tell me. I didn't care. He didn't love me anymore. That's why he left, he said so himself.
He was trying to protect you because he loved you. How can you not believe him? My mind was trying again. No, Edward did that because he no longer loved me. I knew that. That was a definite. He said so himself. I don't love you anymore the words rang through my head. I tried to hold back tears, tears of anger and tears of sadness.
"Bella, I came back because I missed you, because I love you. I'm so sorry I left, please forgive me," he said, sincerity rang with every word. But he was lieing. How could he leave me for almost a whole year and then expect me to love him and welcome him with open arms? Inexcusable.
"So now I'm your toy? When you're tired of me you just pack me away, but when you start to miss me or get bored with your other toys," I spit the word. "you come back and expect me to welcome you like nothing ever happened? No way, mister. Life is not like that and sure as hell I am not your toy," I screached.
"Bella, I never said you were my toy. And you never were and never have. You are my love, my one and only love, my meteor, my shining star in my sky. Please, please, forgive me," he said. He looked like he was about to cry, if only Vampires could.
"So now I'm your shooting star? What the hell does that mean? Stars die! And in your sky, I have! That's why you left me! Because my star 'died'! Get a new star if you still want the light! Find someone elses life to ruin and waste!" I screamed.
"Bella, please, listen to me! I only left you-" he tried to say but I interrupted him.
"You only left because you grew bored of me, because I wasn't good enough for you! You said so yourself, you didn't want me anymore!" I screamed.
"Yes I do! I love you with all my heart! Please believe me!" he said, starting to yell, trying to come closer.
At the first step I took a step back and said make another move and you die. That made him take a step back. "Lies! All you're good at is ruining lives! Don't tell me you love me anymore! You know it's a lie, I know it's a lie so cut the crap!" I screeched.
"Bella, please, calm down. I told you that because I wanted to-" he started again.
"You wanted to break my heart in as many ways possible! Well, let me tell you! Ask any one who's ever seen me after you left! Ask Charlie, Billy, Jake, Jessica, anyone! They'll all tell you how badly you left me hurt! For God's sake, Edward, stop lying," I said, my voice quieting down towards the end.
For some reason I broke down sobbing. I fell down to my knees. In under a second, edward was next to me, holding me close to him. I knew I should push him away, but I knew a girl always needs a shoulder to cry on and Edwards was the only one available.
After a few minutes I managed to pull myself together enough to look Edward in the eyes.
I slowly, deliberately moved myself away from him, like how he acted after he first showed me how powerful and strong he was the first time we went to the meadow.
I then slowly stood up, with Edward mirroring my every move, arms out wide to give me a hug. I shook my head slightly to tell him not to.
"Look, Edward, can you just take me home?" I asked him.
He looked like he was expecting something different, but silently nodded yes and motioned for me to get onto his back. I silently complied and soon we were racing through the forever.
When we got to the car, Edward opened my door for me so I could get in. Once I was seated and buckled he closed my door and walked to his side to drive me home.
The ride was quiet, the only sound besides the low engine thrumming, was my soft breathing and the slight sobs that would escape my chest.
When we arrived at my house, neither of us made a move to get out.
"Shall I see you tonight in your room?" Edward asked, as if nothing happened, in the last six months or in the last six hours.
"Look, Edward, I need to tell you something," I began. I could feel the tears running down my face like a steady waterfall.
Edward looked curiously at me, with both concern, worry, confusion, love and hurt.
I took a deep breath and said, "Edward, I don't love you anymore. Please, leave me alone. You've messed with my life enough, I don't need you ruining it any more," and with that I slowly, deliberately got out of the car, closed the door and went inside. As soon as I went inside I ran upstairs to my room, Charlie, having heard my sobs, stayed away from me. I never did hear his car leave.
A little cliffy eh? Well, i promise i'll be updating more often now. I am finally at the part of the story i've been wanting to get to! Hope you guys enjoyed it and PLEASE REVIEW!