A/N: Not sure what to think about this chapter. All I can say is please bare with me. Many thanks for those of you reviewing, it helps like you wouldn't believe. I wanted to dedicate a chapter to Joker, because one: I love him and two: i've been itching to give him a bit of a backstory. Now that my itch has been scratched enjoy. If you don't like it when stories take a turn like this then don't worry I don't plan on doing this a lot, however if you do like it then yaaay!

I do not own Bioware or Kill Bill :(

Joker wasn't one to believe that just before you die your life flashes before your eyes.

However despite his lack of faith his entire existence played before him the moment Zaeed counted to five. His peripheral vision began to blur as he slowly descended into the darkness.

His tenth birthday appeared in a flash when his dad got him a cake that resembled a ship. It was the best and last birthday he ever got to share with his father. The icing looked perfect and every little detail stood out among the sponge.

As he leaned down to blow out his candles Joker felt a sudden force pommel his face into the cake with success. If it wasn't for the lack of air Joker would have liked to remain sunken into his once awesome ship, however the odds were against him. Tumbling from the wreckage heavy amounts of chocolate cake began sliding down Joker's face.

Joker turned to look at his father. His cheeks were blue from where he had held his laugh in for so long and the bright sparkle in his eyes suggested that he was not sorry for his actions.

Joker reacted quickly by grabbing a chunk of icing that was once the cockpit and splattered it in the middle of his father's forehead.

Every guest gasped in the exact same way they did when his dad played the cake prank on him.

Silence now occupied the atmosphere, creating a tense mexican standoff between Joker and his father. Both father and son had their hands stretched out towards the crushed cake ready to begin the war, there was no anger on either side but there was a sense of honor, a craving to be the victor.

Penetrating their defences a sausage roll smacked Joker's father in the face in a highly comical fashion. Joker and him both turned to face the culprit: His mother.

It wasn't long until a food fight broke out between all the guests. It was the most fun Joker had ever had as a child. Looking back at it now he had actually lost his first ship at ten years old, to his dad, and Joker wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

The priest continued to drone on and on about how his dad was in God's hands despite never knowing the guy personally. However this is what his father would have wanted and therefore Joker decided to endure the torturous ceremony.

The lights were dimmed in the chapel so that all your attention was turned to the priest who was embracing the spotlight. Joker couldn't help but look outside the massive window which presented a wide berth of citadel space. He couldn't help but think how the whole idea of Christianity clashed with the existence of other races in the universe. Space was something that was associated with science and facts, yet here the priest was preaching about a higher power in front of a scenic overlook of the horse head nebula.

Joker's mother ripped him from his daydream with a gut-wrenching sob. He hated it when she cried, she had been a wreck leading up to this day but now she was just falling apart.

Her eyeliner was smudged as well as her mascara. He remembered clearly explaining to her before the shuttle arrived that wearing make up would be a bad at idea. However now didn't feel like the right time to say,"I told you so."

Instead Joker pulled his mother into his soft grasp pleased that she wasn't pulling away out of petty self respect.

She hid he face into his chest where the black make up was beginning to stain his white shirt. But Joker didn't care, he needed to accept that he was all his mother had right now. He had to grow up and follow his father's example.

Cradling his grief stricken mother is his arms, a quick scan of the room showed the rest of his family was on the verge of break down too.

This was the first funeral he had ever been to, and he wasn't up for experiencing another one any time soon.

The priest said his final worlds before cremating his father's remains. The sobs within the room grew louder by the second.

As the flames ate away at everything his dad once was Joker felt empty. A piece of him was gone.

Joker despised Earth.

Every time he visited the place it had something to do with something going to shit.

His mother decided that now was the time to scatter his dad's ashes despite Joker's protests to keep them.

Joker's father was Earthborn from a colony in Vancouver. He remembered his dad always talking about how magical the place was and how it was like being on Noveria only there was no snobby businessmen in sight.

As a child Joker vaguely recalled his father repeatedly informing his mother that when the've saved enough credits they are going to live in Canada or at least spend christmas there with the family.

Earth was one big tourist attraction, which explained Joker's undying hatred towards it. Asari, salarians, hell even turians visited Earth. But people like Joker's father who were actually born on Earth had to go out of their way to visit family.

The shuttle-ride to make a quick drop off to scatter the ashes was costing his mother a fortune, and yet she didn't seem to care. Her eyes continued to remain fixated on the scenery as she clung onto the case that contained what was left of his dad.

She sat in front with the driver who was a friend of his fathers. The driver: George, had been at the funeral a few years back as well.

Joker didn't see the harm in eavesdropping in on some of their conversation. After all they knew he was in the back of the shuttle trying to get asleep, a few words had a high probability of being picked up. There wasn't much juicy gossip to quench Joker's attention but they did discuss his father and how overjoyed he would be to see the day Canada won it's independence. According to George another colony known as America, which is the capital of Earth, wanted to claim Canada and become one. Canada rightly refused and so broke out the 'Borderland War' for three years.

By the time the dispute settled Joker was fourteen. He had no idea his mother ever planned on scattering his dad's ashes. He simply assumed that they was keeping them.

The shuttle began to descend further and further into the Earth. The land that was Vancouver was remarkable. Everything was purely white like a blank canvas.

An odd feeling of happiness overwhelmed him. Canada was exactly how his father had explained it. It was much like a dream, so beautiful and unreal. A part of him felt at peace with departing with the ashes now. It was if at that moment in time he was exactly where he had to be.

"Make sure you video-chat me at least once a week," his mother sobbed. Tears were rioting down her face excessively as she tried to pull herself together.

"Mum can you please stop crying so loud, everyone's looking," Joker grumbled with embarrassment.

He already had the 'I will miss you' talks for the whole five hour journey to the station and it was only now when he was about to board the ship that his mother decided to break down.

His mother wiped her eyes for the hundredth time and stared down at him with a guilty look of concern washing over her face. She grabbed Joker's cheeks with both hands gently and whispered,

"All grown up and going to flight school…your father would be so proud."

That hit him harder than he thought it would. She stopped mentioning his father back when he was fourteen. He guessed that she was trying to move on. But the way she spoke, the distant memories in her voice told him that she never really had gotten over it.

Sirens blared into the air while an Alliance soldier shouted loudly on the speaker for everyone to to board.

Joker didn't say goodbye. He couldn't. He was worried that if one word left his mouth he would choke up and never end up going. Instead he smiled and pulled his mother into the tightest hug he'd ever given her, before gathering his belongings and heading towards the airlock.

She waved frantically as the doors began to painfully close.

That's when he felt it.

A tear flowed freely from his eye as it struck him that he will never be able to hug her again for three years.

"I'm sorry Moreau am I boring you?"

Finding a unique interest in the floor Joker continued to lose himself within his imagination blissfully unaware of Mrs T'sanmo's attempts of getting his attention.

"Moreau!" she shouted causing Joker to jump out of his little trance.

He usually sat at the back of the class so that nobody would talk to him espicially Mrs T'sanmo. Clearly his little strategy was failing.

"Sorry, I just zoned out for a bit there," Joker explained picking up his pen and hoping T'sanmo would just lay off and continue her lesson. She didn't.

"Moreau there are pupil's here that take their education seriously, if you have no interest in learning to pilot a ship then you should not be in flight school," she hissed holding her hips in a provocative manner.

He hated it when she did that, she was such a bitch but she was able to make being a bitch look sexy. Every lesson she wore a very revealing asari dress and the beauty of it was that because she was indeed an asari she was able to get away with it. Nobody wanted to start an argument in case it started a race row.

"I do take it seriously," Joker defended lazily allowing his eyes to run along her blue skin.

T'sanmo shook her head, "Then why do you spend your time looking miserable at the back of the class not paying any attention to anything i've said?"

"No offence Mrs Samo…"

"T'sanmo," she corrected him, slightly peeved at how he could never pronounce her name right.

Joker got a few laughs from the class as he attempted her name again. "My bad, tus ammo? tas ano?…Look my point is, and like I said before don't take offence to this…but I already know everything you are talking about. All of this isn't knew to me."

The whole class turned back to the teacher to see her reaction. She had a evil smile creeping on her lips. "Well then Joker perhaps you would like to teach the class?"

"I'm sorry what?" he asked surprised.

"I said perhaps you would like to teach the class…"

"No, no before that," Joker interjected.

"Joker?" She smiled innocently.

"Is that suppose to be funny? Ha ha ha…" Joker grumbled sarcastically.

"You treat this lesson as a joke and you never smile," she explained eyeing him dominantly.

"Oh, i'm sorry i'll just get my pilot licence grinning like an idiot shall I?"

Mrs T'sanmo did not reply and continued to lecture about the inside of a cockpit that he knew like the back of his hand. Today was going to drag.

"Hey, are you the pilot for the Normandy?" asked a soldier standing outside the ship.

This was it, Jeff Moreau had finally worked his way to the top of the Alliance and became the pilot of one of it's most respected ships: The Normandy. She looked perfect.

"Yeah I am, the name's Joker," he replied shaking the soldier's hand.

"Kaidan Alenko," he smiled. "I've heard your the best pilot the Alliance has in it's ranks?"

"Well…I don't want to boast…but yeah, you heard right," Joker stated reveling in the matter of fact compliment.

Kaidan gave a hearty laugh before giving a forceful cough and stood up-straight.

He suddenly raised his right arm to mimic a salute.

"Commander!" Alenko acknowledged.

Commander Anderson. a well respected Alliance figure approached Alenko and Joker with an expression that shouted 'I mean business.' But beside that Joker was certain that this Anderson, his commander had a soft spot.

Joker followed Alenko's example only to be put at ease. That was the down side. You finally escape flight school where you're practically bombarded with rules, procedure and conduct, then you join the military and it's about the same.

A woman appeared from behind Anderson. Her hair was jet black and her eyes were a crystal blue. Joker just wanted to jump into those tantalising pool of eyes and forget about all his worries. Unfortunately he had just been told something to which this woman was expecting a response.

"Im sorry what?…" Joker mumbled incoherently.

"I was just telling you Mr Morea-" Anderson began, but before he could finished his sentence Joker already wedged himself in there again.

"Joker…"

Anderson looked very annoyed at his disruption.

So much for a good first impression.

However much to Joker's delight Anderson's expression suddenly changed as he let out a full belched laugh.

"Joker it is, I look forward to hearing the story behind that. I was just informing you that this is your XO Shepard." Anderson gestured to Shepard with his arm.

Shepard stuck out her hand gently, "It's a pleasure to meet you Mor…I mean, Joker. I've heard great things about you."

She smiled as Joker's hand clasped hers tightly, he had heard great things about this Shepard, he couldn't believe he was actually meeting her. And it was her complimenting him.

"The pleasure's all mine. You were that survivor on Akuze right?" Joker asked in a flirtatious tone. Well, what he considered to be flirtatious.

Shepard blushed slightly, "That would be me yes."

"That's fucking incredible!" Joker blurted out. Shepard turned to Anderson as they both began laughing. Even Alenko had relaxed a bit and joined in.

Anderson muttered something about getting Shepard to her quarters and giving her a tour of the ship. As they both headed off Alenko was soon to follow them up the stairs eagerly.

"Hey!" Joker called out. "Don't even think about it I got dibs first," Joker growled chasing after Alenko as fast as his weak legs would take him.

"Since when?" Alenko shot back playfully. He sped off ahead fully aware that Joker couldn't catch up.

"Sorry Joker, but i'm going to be the one who gives her tour, forgive me!" he laughed shimmying through a sealed door near the galaxy map.

Joker damned his brittle bones to hell. This new chapter of his life was going to be interesting.

Bring it on Alenko!

Joker had tried and failed to explain why Zaeed's daughter looked a mess, which is something Joker never thought he'd ever have to experience. Zaeed? A father? It seemed like anything was becoming possible in this universe. There were billions of lines and boundaries but everyone crossed them regardless.

Marla had tried to help him out. That was strangest part. Standing up for your attacker…

Logically Shepard was the one who attacked her and Joker was the one who smashed her over the head with an ashtray. He just couldn't work out why Marla was trying to help him.

Joker closed his eyes out of complete fear. This was not how it was meant to end.

Marla screamed at Zaeed painfully.

A single shot resonated within the room.

An unwelcome silence beckoned him.