A/N: This took a few days longer than it should have, due to internet connection issues. This is quite a long chapter, by far the longest I've wrote. Hope its enjoyed.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins in any way.
Cook walked into Naomi's house, glancing around there were a lot of pictures of Naomi and Emily, up on the walls, together in various exotic locations looking happy. Cook's emotions were all over the show, life had moved on so much for Naomi and Emily, they had done lot's. This was obvious just from the pictures. Where as Cook had done nothing of any importance, except dwell miserably on things whilst he was locked away. Despite these thoughts, Cook's face remained mostly blank.
"You got any smokes?" Cook asked. "I've not had chance to get none."
"Yeah of course." Naomi smiled as she obliged, handing Cook a Mayfair cigarette and lighting it for him once it was in his mouth.
Cook took several long deep drags of the smoke, inhaling deeply, smoke pouring from his nostrils as he exhaled. "So, where's Emily then?" Cook asked, noticing that Naomi was texting quickly.
"She'll be home soon, she's just gone to the shops." Naomi replied cheerily. "Come on, I'll show you your room."
Naomi took Cook upstairs, more pictures of the happy couple upon the walls, but then Cook noticed another photograph in a mahogany frame, it was the whole gang as he remembered them. Himself with a spliff in one hand, stood next Freddie, JJ to Freddie's other side, the three of them looking happy with broad smiles, arms over each others shoulders. Naomi and Emily pressed close together on the other side of JJ. Katie was next to Emily, looking a little awkward but a smile upon her lips none the less. Stood behind her peering over the top was Thomas, a bewildered but cheerful look to him. Pandora and Effy next to Thomas, Pandora looking positively exhilarated, Effy clearly distracted looking over at Freddie. Naomi noticed as Cook was staring sadly at this picture.
"You should try to focus on the happy memories…" Naomi said weakly.
Cook just grunted something inaudible in response, tearing his eyes away from the photo he followed Naomi to the bedroom.
The room was painted in a dark maroon, the borders and carpet a pale yellow. It wasn't really his thing, but it was certainly much better than the dull grey of a prison cell. A double bed and large flat screen TV catching his eye. He looked at Naomi for a moment before reaching out, pulling her to him and embracing her in a genuinely heart felt hug.
Later that night Cook was sat on one of the two sofa's in Naomi's house, the house that had once belonged to her mother. The whole gang except Karen were now there. They had all made great effort to engage with Cook and although he was pleased to see them, he just couldn't find it in himself to be happy. So he was mostly keeping quiet, sat drinking can's of lager, smoking his third spliff. JJ was sat next to him telling Cook all about his life now. Explaining how he was now a university student and worked part time to help support his girlfriend Lara and her baby Albert. As JJ spoke of Lara and Albert it was obvious he had a lot of love for them, Cook felt real pride as he listened.
"I never would have thought it, JJ all grown up… not socially awkward anymore eh" Cook said. Before adding with a friendly nudge "Well, not 'as' socially awkward anyway."
As the night went on everyone was getting drunk, all merry, dancing and having a good time. To his side, Cook could hear Pandora talking animatedly about life in America. JJ had left a short time ago, gone home so he wouldn't be to tired in work the next day. Cook just sat, keeping to himself, drinking more can's of Stella Artois. Not a day had gone by that he hadn't thought about seeing his friends, getting drunk with them and just being happy.
As Cook sat there, he was struggling inside his own head. It seemed as though life had moved on and left him behind, he was finding it impossible to feel a part of the gang again, even though it was obvious they were all overjoyed to see him. He had gotten to used to life imprisoned, now he just felt overwhelmed by his freedom. Felt as though he was sinking in his own freedom. He felt like he needed Freddie, he just couldn't shake Freddie's face from his mind, his brother from another mother. However whenever he attempted to concentrate on happy memories of Freddie he remembered those blood soaked clothes, imagined how Freddie must have begged for mercy, suffered a brutal and prolonged death. As Cook thought of this he couldn't help but blame himself. Then there was Effy a girl he'd loved, fought with Freddie over, but now he felt nothing but pain when he looked at her. A part of Cook wanted to be back in prison, after all he felt he deserved it. He thought of how much anguish he'd brought to the lives of his friends, surely he was better out of the way. Besides, it may have been self defence, but he was a murderer, that was something he still hadn't managed to come to terms with. He may have got away with it, he may have been in danger himself and John Foster had certainly deserved it. However, the knowledge he had taken the life of another man, with his bare hands, Cook still couldn't get his head around that fact, it was a thought that always lurked in his mind, haunting him.
Cook's face was clearly quite miserable but nobody noticed this more so than Naomi. Cook was concentrating very hard on not looking at her to much. Every time he made eye contact with her, he could see pity on her expression and this ashamed him. However as Cook downed more and more lager his misery was slowly transforming itself into pent up anger. Rage that was pressing against his chest, rising slowly up him so he felt as though he would surely soon be able to taste it. His hand clenched on an empty can crushing it. Cook knew he shouldn't be feeling this way, he knew he should at least get out of the house to avoid taking it out on his friends. But he just couldn't seem to order his legs into moving.
"Hey Cookie, come and dance misery guts." Pandora's high pitched cheery voice pierced into Cook.
How the hell could they all be so happy when everything was completely and utterly fucked up, when his whole world made no sense, Cook thought furiously to himself.
"FUCK OFF!" Cook yelled, his temper snapped as he leapt to his feet. Cook didn't even register the shocked looks on the faces of his friends, didn't register how all movement ceased in an instant. He gave a roar of rage, no words just a primal scream. Launching the crushed can in his hand as hard as he could, barely noticing the noise as it connected with the wall facing him. Cook stormed out of the room, punching the door as he did so. He was completely oblivious to people watching him, his friends moving back into action heading out of the room after him. Cook didn't even realize how they were all clearly completely shocked and frightened. He gave an animal like snarl throwing a head butt straight into the wall, ignoring how dazed he felt as he exited the house slamming the door behind him and beginning to walk away. As soon as the fresh air hit him however his anger subsided, replaced by guilt and embarrassment. He was still dazed, vaguely aware of a slight trickle of blood dribbling down from his forehead. Cook hear the sound of the door open, heard Naomi's voice shouting his name, Cook's brain registered the sound of fear and the pleading tone to her normally self assured voice. Before he even knew what he was doing, Cook was sprinting away, desperate to be alone.
Cook had by now slowed to a walk, his breath some what heavy. It was a cool night, the moon glowing silvery. Cook walked onto the graveyard, nobody else was around it was by now very late at night. The ground was barely illuminated but Cook was searching desperately. His search so determined he didn't even notice how spooky a graveyard in the dark was. After almost an hour of frantic searching however Cook stopped. He had found what he was searching for. In front of him stood a shiny looking grey headstone.
'Freddie McLair. 1992 - 2010. Beloved Son, Brother, Friend and Boyfriend.'
It was quite difficult to make out the writing as Cook sat himself down on the grass staring at the headstone. There were plenty of flowers lay down in front of it. As Cook lay there he was completely bowled over emotionally, tears leaking from his eyes, occasionally his whole body would shake with a sob he was unable to stifle. Cook made no attempt to stop the tears though. He just sat there, feeling sorry for himself. Wishing Freddie was still alive. Wondering how he could possibly move on with his life with all that had happened, all that he had been a part of, all that had changed.
What Cook failed to notice was the girl approaching quietly from behind him. Her footsteps light on the ground. Wearing a stylish black and baby blue dress, it was quite revealing, but not to much so. A baby blue cardigan pulled tightly around her body.
"Cook…" Katie Fitches voice welcoming Cook back to reality as she sat herself down next to him slipping off the cardigan so she could sit on it.
"Katie.. What are you doing here?" Cook said, now wiping his eyes, feeling embarrassed.
Katie was not used to seeing Cook like this, so emotional and upset. She spoke quietly. "I figured you'd be here, I just wanted to make sure your alright.."
Cook nodded his head, not speaking for a couple of minutes. "It's the first time I've visited the grave, you know."
Katie's hand took a hold of Cook's own hand, Cook looked down at her small hand holding his, feeling as she gave a little squeeze.
"Is that why you got angry?" Katie asked, not wanting to pressure Cook but still curious.
Cook gave a shrug. "I don't know, kinda. I just, everything's fucked." Cook muttered, not really making much sense. "I just can't handle it, Freddie's gone. I'm a murderer, I mean how the shite am I supposed to get used to that. Everything's changed, I dunno where I fit in anymore, I don't even know who the hell I am. I belong in a cell." Cook said, voice quiet but the words clear. "I need Freddie." He finished.
Katie stayed quiet for a moment, taking in Cook's words. Tears in her own eyes, Cook had always seemed so tough to her, yet now he seemed truly helpless.
"You still have lots of friends. Everyone of us cares for you, including me. Freddie is watching over you, I know it. Your one of us, were all here for you, I'm here for you." Katie said delicately. "Your Cook."
Cook turned his head looking at Katie who was looking right back at him. He'd always thought she was hot but only now did he realize she wasn't hot, she was beautiful. Cook felt so much affection for Katie in that moment. He noticed her head inch toward his slightly and without thinking Cook responded, his own head tilting to her, lips meeting. A gentle kiss before they looked at each other again. Cook quickly muttered an apology. Katie however shook her head.
"Come on, you have blood on your face, we'll go back to Naomi's and get it cleaned there. They will all be worried about you." Katie said standing up with Cook.
It was only when they were both stood up and starting to walk that Cook realized, Katie was still holding onto his hand, Cook smiled as he adjusted his hand, so his hand was also holding hers.
Cook and Katie were soon facing Naomi's house, the sound of music, was still audible, however the volume had certainly lowered since Cook had left. Katie reached under a plant pot at the front of the house and showed Cook the key that was now in her hand.
"They seem to think nobody knows." Katie said in explanation to Cook, a grin on her lips.
Cook just laughed at this, but it was a genuine laugh. Cook felt the goodness of the laugh, as though it was touching his very soul for a moment.
Katie unlocked the door and the two of them stepped quietly into the house. Within a few short seconds though Naomi and Emily had come rushing to a halt in front of them.
"Cook.. Are you alright? Where did you go?" Naomi asked her words practically tripping over each other she spoke so fast.
"I'm fine, sorry." Cook said in a quiet reply. Katie stood quietly by his side.
"You should be fucking sorry! We only want to help you and you behave like that." Emily was clearly annoyed her eyes squared directly on Cook. However despite Naomi herself telling Emily to shut up, Katie now spoke up herself, drawing the attention.
"Shut up Emily." Katie started. "None of us have any idea what it must be like, just think about it." Katie continued, it unnecessary to explain what she meant. "Cook, c'mon let me clean that cut." Katie finished, her last words aimed at Cook himself. Katie looked abashed to have been spoke to like that by Katie, but she gave a nod, realizing the situation. Although as she stood looking at her sister and Cook she couldn't help wondering if something was going on between them.
Cook gave a small nod to Katie "I'm sorry." Cook said his words aimed at both Naomi and Emily.
"Fuck it." Naomi said grabbing Cook into a tight hug. Which he returned. Before turning to Emily.
"If you don't want me here, it wouldn't be a problem, I would understand. I could find a hostel or something." Cook said to her. But she shook her head quickly offering her arms open so Cook moved and gave her a hug to.
"Don't be stupid, besides, I was kinda in the wrong anyway." Emily muttered to Cook.
Katie and Cook started to walk to the kitchen, Katie a step in front, Cook taking the opportunity to have a quick glance at her rear. However before they had taken even three steps Emily voice called out.
"Is there anything I need to know, about you two I mean?" Emily asked.
"Go to bed." Katie's response was not engaging, however unseen by anyone else she did have a smile on her lips.
"Yeah, everyone else is gone, its bedtime." Naomi said, quite clearly giggling, Cook glanced back for a second and could see Naomi tugging Emily to the stairs, the two of them heading up to bed, Naomi clearly laughing and deliberately teasing Emily. Cook laughed as he heard Emily swearing.
In the kitchen Katie cleaned the dried blood off Cook's face. Her touch was gentle as she rubbed the damp cloth over his face before cleaning the cut.
"That cut's quite deep. I don't think it needs stitches, but its pretty nasty." She whispered as she looked at the wound Cook's rage had inflicted upon his own body.
"It's nothing, it'll be fine." Cook replied simply.
Katie's body was moving bit by bit closer to Cook, it seemed as though she didn't even notice. However she certainly noticed when Cook leant down and kissed her again on the lips. As she kissed back this kiss quickly became much deeper and more passionate than the kiss earlier, Cooks hand moving around Katie's back and onto her pert arse pulling her in close against him, her own arms around the back of his neck. There bodies beginning to grind against each other somewhat. Cook had gone three years without any intimacy at all, now he had Katie Fitch.
"Your not going to use me are you?" Katie whispered nervously.
"No." Cook replied straight away and he certainly meant it.
The two of them went back to kissing, beginning to move themselves out of the kitchen towards the living room. Yet even as they were moving along this short journey they were kissing and removing each other clothes, hands exploring each other. By the time they were in the living room, the two of them were naked. Cook looked at Katie with a grin. Loving what he saw.
"Perfect." Cook whispered audibly.
Over the next couple of hours Cook and Katie had sex all over the living room. Both of them in immeasurable amounts of pleasure. As Cook looked at Katie he genuinely felt he could be happy with her forever, unknown to him she thought the same.
Cook had woke up the next morning in the bed made available to him by Naomi and Emily. He woke up lay next to Katie. Clothes piled on the floor. He had smiled contentedly before getting up and starting the day.
Cook and JJ met up in the afternoon and were now walking around the town centre. JJ had got a new phone off his girlfriend Lara when he had got home last night. The bonus to this was he now had no need for his old phone and so had given it to Cook. It was by no means the newest model, but it did the job for Cook. The best part was Katie's number was already in the contact list and so Cook was now regularly texting with her.
Cook noticed a small tattoo parlour across the road and a thought struck him. "C'mon." Cook said leading JJ across the road, the two of them walking into the tattoo parlour.
It was a couple of hours later when the two of them emerged from the parlour. Cook was now sporting quite a big new tattoo on the outside of his left forearm. Three crossed Rapier swords, the three crossed of the Musketeers. The Three Musketeers. Freddie, JJ, Cook. The tattoo was a deliberate memorial of that friendship, an ink tribute to Freddie.
JJ who would normally be set against having anything like a tattoo done upon his body had surprised Cook. JJ had surprised Cook by also getting tattooed. It was the same three crossed swords design, however it was smaller and on the right bicep of JJ. JJ's reasons for getting the tattoo were the same as Cook's.
Cook had woken early the next day, he had no reason to be awake so early, but he didn't mind. Once again he woke with Katie next to him, her arm over him the two of them naked and close. A broad smile had found its way to Cook before he carefully got out of bed and got himself ready without disturbing Katie.
Cook had left the house before anyone else in there had even woke up. Cook walked along smoking a couple of cigarettes and generally just killing time. As soon as a local florist Cook walked inside and purchased an attractive bunch of flowers. The lady who served him told him the names of the flowers, but Cook didn't give a fuck what the flowers species were, they look good and that was enough. Cook walked along smoking another cigarette as he walked onto the graveyard, able to find Freddie's grave much quicker this time. Cook stood in front of the headstone, tears welling up in his eyes, but he didn't allow them to escape this time. Cook leant down placing the flowers down carefully in front of the headstone. The bunch of flowers now laid down amongst other bunches.
"Fuck." Cook muttered. "I miss you so fucking much mate." Cook was mumbling to the grave. "I'm so sorry man, always gonna love you though bro." Cook whispered wishing Freddie could hear.
As Cook was stood there considering his thoughts he heard a light cough behind him. When Cook turned around he saw Karen stood alone.
"On my way to a dance group, figured I could take a diversion past here." Karen said in an unnecessary explanation.
Cook nodded his head. "Its good to see you.." Cook said. He was a bit lost for words due to the suddenness of Karen's appearance.
"Yeah. You to. I wanted to be there at Naomi's house the other day, when you were released. I couldn't make it though. Sorry." Karen said, rushing her words.
Cook gave a small smile. "Don't worry about it. You didn't miss anything." Cook said. "I want to sort something out tonight, I'll text you the details, be good if you could make it." Cook finished.
"Yeah I'll be free tonight. I'm going to have to dash now. Take care." Karen said and gave Cook a smile, before kissing her hand and touching it to the headstone. Karen walking away. Cook shouted out to get her attention.
"I'm still grateful to you, for what you did for me before I handed myself in." Cook called out. Noting Karen's nod Cook shouted out again, this time with a slight grin. "See you tonight."
It was already dark by the time Cook was heading to the pub. Walking along with Naomi, Emily, JJ and Katie. His arm around Katie's waist. It surprised Cook how close he was to Katie now, clearly he must have matured somewhat whilst he was imprisoned.
"Effy just texted me, everyone's in the pub waiting for us." Naomi said.
Cook just grunted in response, noticing Katie's expression at the mention of Effy. Cook could understand why Katie would be uncomfortable though, after all Effy had stole Freddie from Katie. Add to that the history between Cook and Effy, it was understandable Katie may be a little paranoid.
"I'm with you babe." Cook said quietly so only Katie could hear. "Simple as."
A small smile on Katie's lips, her response silent but clear. The small group walking along laughing and chatting. It suddenly dawned on Cook, he was happy. Like properly happy.
"So what's the plan Cook?" Asked Emily.
Cook shrugged looking at her. "Tomorrow I find a job, I think Uncle Keith will sort me out. After that, I dunno, I'll figure something out though."
Naomi giggled a little. "You know Cook, you almost sound sensible." Naomi teased.
"Screw you blondie." Cook laughed as the pub came into view. Grabbing JJ around the shoulder and pulling him close with a big grin. "Tomorrow I can be sensible, but for tonight, lets go fucking mental!" Cook shouted out.
A/N: I'd love some feedback..
So that's it, this story is over now. I could do another chapter, but I feel it would be better to end it now before it just loses steam and turns boring. I hope I've managed to end it in a good way and I hope people enjoy this story. I do have a few other Skins fic ideas, so I will begin work on my next story soon.