Dan Vs The Demon Sisters

-Chapter One-

"Get out here, you fiends! I will not stand for this blatant thievery of my home!"

Dan was standing out in front of the Démon Arms Apartment building the next day, throwing rocks at what he assumed was the window of the main office. There were two problems with this strategy, however. First, most of the rocks he was throwing landed slightly off target, either hitting the building surrounding the window, or landing in the street in front of it. Second, the room the window belonged to was, in fact, the security office. Dan hurled another stone glass-ward, and the rock managed to meet its target, leaving a sizable hole in the window. "Ha!" Dan shouted trumphantly. "Take that, you scoundrels! You no-good crooks!"

A security officer looked out of the hole and noticed Dan. Glaring angrily, the officer quickly dissappeared from the hole, and a second later, dashed out of the main entrance. Looking around, he spotted Dan. "You there!" The officer shouted. "Stop right where you are!"

Realizing that he was out of rocks, Dan quickly made a run for it, the officer in hot pursuit. After about ten blocks, the officer lost sight of Dan. Giving up, he began heading back to the building. Once the officer was out of the vicinity, Dan peeked out of a nearby dumpster. Believing that the coast was clear, he climbed out and stood in the alleyway. After picking a stray banana peel off of his shoulder, and muttering something about clichés, Dan fished his phone out of his pocket and called his trusted partner, Chris.

Chris was sitting at home, watching TV with Elise, when his phone began vibrating. An uncomfortable buzzing sensation shot through his leg as the phone vibrated in his pocket, causing him to yelp and jump up. Elise looked up, wondering why her husband jumped up so suddenly. "Jeez Chris," she joked. "I didn't know you were this into The View."

Chris chuckled at his wife's joke. "No, no, it's just Dan," he replied, seeing his friend's angry face staring back up at him from the phone's screen.

The smile slid from Elise's face. "Oh." She said flatly. "Whatever it is this time, you can't help him, we were going to spend today together. WITHOUT Dan."

"I know, I know," Chris said, answering the phone. "Hey Dan, wha-"

"Get over here now, Chris!" Dan shouted from his end, as he walked back to his apartment. "I need you to help me get back at a couple of theives."

"Wait, what?" Chris said, surprised. Usually it was just some minor issue Dan hassled him about. "Theives? What did they steal?"

"They stole my apartment, Chris!" Dan shouted. "Some sleazy jerks bought out my building and are making me move out! Get over here so you can help me think of a way to get back at them!"

"Alright, Dan, I'll be right over, and we can figure out what you're gonna do about-" Chris heard a long beep, signifying that Chris had hung up on him. He turned to Elise. "Sorry, honey, I've gotta go. This sounds pretty serious, I've gotta go help Dan."

"Alright, just be back before dark, and don't do anything illegal," Elise replied, pecking her husband on the cheek. "I'll see you later."

"Don't worry about a thing, I'll try to keep Dan from pushing me into something stupid." Chris headed out the door. Elise shook her head. Whenever Dan came up with some silly revenge plot, Chris always found a way of getting into trouble.

Chris arrived at Dan's apartment, and Dan answered the door. Before Chris had a chance to step foot inside, Dan immediately thrust a crumpled piece of paper in his face, the note that Dan had found on his door earlier. "Look at this!" Dan said. "Can you believe it? They want to make my apartment three street-facing parking spaces on level B!"

Chris took the note and began reading. "Man, that's tough," he said, looking it over. "What are you gonna do about a place to live? I could probably talk to Elise, and we could let you stay in the guest room until you find-"

"I'll tell you what I'm gonna do!" Dan said, interrupting his friend. "I'm gonna make those Demon Sisters wish they hadn't messed with me and my living arrangements! Now, take me down to the hardware store, I need you to buy me some explosives."

"Whoa, Dan, settle down," Chris said. "Before we do anything drastic, why don't we just talk to them and see if they won't just leave this building alone, or at least let you live in their building?" Chris paused for a moment. "And I think it's pronounced 'Démon'."

"You saw the note. Apparently, I didn't pass their stupid 'examination'." Dan said. "I'm telling you, we should just blow up that building of theirs and be done with it."

"I'm pretty sure that's VERY illegal," Chris said. "Besides, there's the possibility that you'd do damage to your apartment in the process."

Dan thought for a moment. "Yeah... I guess you're right. I wouldn't want to go through with it just to end up with a giant hole in my cieling. Fine, we'll try it your way." Dan huffed.

"Glad you see things my way," Chris said. He looked at the note again, and located the number for the head office. Dialing the number, he brought the phone up to his ear, only to have it snatched away by Dan.

"You listen to me you-" Dan began as someone picked up on the other end. "Oh, it's automated," Dan realized. He tossed the phone to Chris. "Here, you take it, I'm no good at reasoning with machines."

Chris took the phone and followed the instructions to talk with someone. Eventually, he reached through to a secretary.

"Hi there, my name is Chris, I'd like to talk with one of the Démon sisters, if that's at all possible." Chris said. "Really? That's great, thanks!" Chris waited for a moment, Dan glaring up at him all the while. "Hello, Miss Démon? Yes, my name is Chris, I'm calling on behalf of a friend of mine, you recently purchased his apartment building, and he's quite upset. Uh huh. Okay. Really? Yes, that works for us, thanks! Alright, thank you, good bye!" Chris hung up the phone.

"Well?" Dan said.

"They've agreed to speak with us in person, they're going to meet us tonight at seven o'clock at Chéz Soirez. Dinner's going to be on them!" Chris explained. "They seem pretty generous, don't you think?"

"Yeah, real generous, other than the fact that THEY'RE KICKING ME OUT OF MY HOME!" Dan shouted.

"Alright, alright, we'll talk to them tonight. Just find something fancy to wear, and I'll meet you back here at six thirty to pick you up."

"Why can't I come pick you up?" Dan said. "Why do I have to be rushed to get ready?"

"Well... these are probably sophisticated people, Dan, to be treating us to a place like Chéz Soirez. I don't think we'd be making the best impression if we showed up in... your car."

"I'm coming to pick you up, end of story." Dan said. He then turned his back to Chris and scanned his apartment. "I think I have a suit around here somewhere..." He muttered to himself.

"Alright, fine, I'll just head out then." Chris headed toward the door. "Oh, you don't mind if I take this note to show Elise, do you? It might help my case if I have to convince her to let you stay with us."

"Go ahead, take it, I don't care," Dan said, rifling through a pile of clothes.

"Alright, thanks," Chris said. He then headed out the door and climbed back into his car.

Chris arrived back at his house about ten minutes later. He walked in and gave his wife a hug. "Hey honey, I'm back," Chris said.

Elise pecked Chris on the cheek. "Hey there sweety. So, what'd Dan want?"

"Oh, somebody bought out Dan's apartment building and now he has to move out." Chris said. "It's all in this note," Chris handed the crumpled note to Elise. "Dan and I are going out to talk to them at seven, they're taking us to dinner at Chéz Soirez. Do I have a suit somewhere?"

Elise was looking at the note Chris gave her, and barely noticed Chris's question. "Huh? Oh, yeah, it should be in the closet."

"Thanks, honey, and sorry you can't come." Chris said. "They didn't specify whether or not we could bring guests, and I don't want to cause any issues with these people." Chris hurried into the bedroom.

About a half hour later, Chris walked out, wearing a smart-looking suit and tie. "Well," he said to Elise. "How do I look?"

"You look very handsome, sweety," Elise said, giving Chris a kiss. "You two have fun, and I hope you can work something out with these people."

"Alright, honey, I'll-" Chris was interrupted by a honking from outside, followed by some muffled shouting. "Oh, that'll be Dan now," Chris said. "I'll see you later, honey!" Chris quickly kissed Elise and dashed out the door. Elise watched him climb into Dan's car from the window, and watched the two of them pull away. As soon as they rounded the corner, Elise pulled out her phone, and dialed a number. A deep voice answered on the other end.

"Hello, Father?" Elise said, looking at the note Chris gave her. "I've located them, send out the troops."