Atuhors Nose (Author's Notes): I apologize to the people following this story (read: one person at the time of writing this note) about constantly getting notifications for re-uploaded chapters. I have a habit of not proofreading chapters before I upload them to the site, and thus, a few errors slip through unnoticed. It's only until after the chapter is published that I spot these errors, and I have to go back and correct the document, and re-publish the chapter. This results in people following the story getting multiple notifications for the same chapter. Once again, I apologize, and from now on I'll proofread the chapters before I upload them. If you happen to spot an error that I missed, I.E. a misnamed character, a logical falicy going against either the source material or something that's already established in-story (keep in mind that this story takes place before both Dan Vs. Technology and Episode 12 of Panty and Stocking, and your ships, pairings, and head-canon don't apply here), or a simple spelling/grammar mistake, feel free to inform me about it via review or email. I can be reached at . Thank you for your time, and enjoy this corrected version of Chapter 4.
-EverSoNitro
Dan Vs. The Demon Sisters
-Chapter 4-
"...and you'd better not scratch it one bit! Just because it's slightly damaged doesn't mean I won't be able to tell!"
The group was back at Chris and Elise's house. Dan had decided to call a tow truck to pick up his car, as much as it pained him to have it sent to a lot, while the others discussed Dan's feud with the Demon Sisters. Chris was finishing his explanation about Dan's apartment when Dan hung up the phone.
"...and so, Dan's decided to get back at Scanty and Kneesocks, like he usually does in situations like this." Chris said.
"This is a common occurence for you two?" Brief inquired.
"Oh, you wouldn't believe the things I've been through!" Dan said, sitting down with the group. "I've had to exact vengeance on the beach, my super-villain dentist, baseball, Canada, heck, just a couple weeks ago George Washington made a palm tree fall on my car!"
"Yeah, I'm not even gonna begin to ask about that last one," Panty said with a very bored expression on her face. She pulled her pinky out of her ear after using it as a makeshift q-tip, then continued. "So, bottom line is, the bitches fucked with you and you want to get back at them."
"Pretty much," Dan said. "And I've had a pretty good track record with this, other than that incident with Elise's vertigo toxin when I was getting back at traffic." He muttered the last part under his breath. "So, thank you, but your services will no longer be required."
"Our services?" Stocking repeated. "We're not here on some fucking errand, we've been dealing with those two for fucking ages! If anyone should back off and let the others take care of it, it's you!"
"Alright, it's not going to do anybody any good to just sit and argue about this," came a voice from the hallway. Everybody turned to look, and Elise walked out into the living room. "Seeing as you three know more about them, and Dan's... well, the most stubborn person I've ever met, why don't you all just work together?"
"Yeah, Elise is right!" Chris said, standing up. "Besides, there's strength in numbers, and we out number those Demon Sisters almost three to one!"
Panty sighed. "I guess we could give it a shot. Just try to stay out of our way, shorty."
"Would you stop it with the shorty bit?" Dan said. "You're barely two inches taller than me!"
"I'll call you shorty if I want to!" Panty shouted. "It's your fault we lost the Demon bitches back at the restaurant!"
"You wrecked my car!" Dan shouted back. The two quickly began squabbling, and both Chris and Brief stepped in to break up the fight. Once it was all sorted out, they began discussing their nest course of action.
"Were not going to get much done just sitting around here watching Panty and Dan go at it every five minutes," Stocking said.
"Agreed," Brief said, nodding. "Maybe we should try to determine why Scanty and Kneesocks have decided to turn their interests to Dan's building."
"We should probably go take a look around Dan's apartment." Chris suggested. "Maybe they were actually looking for something when they did that inspection."
"I wouldn't reccomend taking your car," Elise said. "The Demon Sister's building is right next to Dan's. I'd imagine that they'd be spending more time in there, now that they know you three are here. You should probably all take our car."
"Maybe we should disguise you three as well," Dan said. "It wouldn't do us much good if those two spotted you near my place."
They all agreed, and they began thinking up some disguise that would let Panty, Stocking, and Brief get into Dan's apartment without arousing too much suspicion.
The next day, the five pulled up to Dan's building in Chris's vehicle. Chris and Dan climbed out first, looked around. There wasn't any indication that the Demon Sisters were around, barring their limosine being parked outside their building, so Dan motioned for the remaining three to climb out.
The three of them all got out of the car, each in a beige jumpsuit and wearing ridiculous oversized mustaches. On the backs of the jumpsuits was a logo bearing the name "Heavenly Cleaners".
"I feel so stupid," Stocking said. "This jumpsuit is so stiflingly hot!"
"Would you keep it down?" Dan said. "You and Panty were complaining about them the whole time down here, but Brief hasn't said a word!"
"That's because he wears jumpsuits all the time, he's used to it!" Panty said. "God knows why, I wouldn't be caught dead in this thing."
"It's official ghost-hunting attire!" Brief explained. "I have to have the right equipment if-"
"Shh!" Dan warned. "Someone's coming!"
The doors swung open on the Démon Arms building, and a crimson carpet rolled out and stopped just at the curb beside the limo. A short moment later, the Demon Sisters strolled down towards their vehicle, noses high in the air. Suddenly, Kneesocks stopped, as if sensing something was amiss. Her sister didn't notice at first, but then Scanty realized that Kneesocks wasn't next to her.
"Miss Kneesocks?" Scanty asked, looking puzzled. "Is something the matter?"
"Forgive me, but I've detected a rather foul odor in the air," she said.
"It always smells out here, Miss Kneesocks," Scanty said. "I thought you'd have realized that by- oh! Well isn't this unexpected!" She said suddenly, noticing the group. The two walked over to Dan and Chris. "Why hello there, gentlemen," she said. "Fancy meeting you two out here after the... fiasco last night."
"Oh, that?" Chris said, nervously. "It wasn't really a fiasco, I'd say. More of a situation, or a pickle, or-"
"What Chris means to say is," Dan said, ending Chris's rambling, "we're both sorry about what happened last night, and I'm deeply sorry about the awful things I said to you two fine ladies. I should have realized that you two are simply trying to run a business, and I hope that you two can forgive me."
"Oh, that's quite alright, Mr. Dan," Kneesocks said. "You two actually helped us out of a rather delicate situation last night with those two mad-women. I hope they didn't give you too much trouble."
"Them? They were pushovers!" Dan said waiving his hand. "They went running right after you two left, but not before I walloped 'em one!"
"Well, thank you for that, at any rate," Scanty said. "Our offer still stands on that money for your knew home, by the way. Are you sure you wouldn't like it?"
"No thanks, I'm fine," Dan said. "Though, I'm sure you noticed the damage done to my car by those crazy chicks when you left the restaurant. If it wouldn't be too much to ask, could I borrow some money to pay for repairs? I'm afraid the insurance company has stopped covering me after all that's happened to my car."
"Fair enough," Kneesocks said. She gave a sharp whistle through her fingers, and a small, red, insect-like creature scuttled out of the limosine holding a velvet pillow with a stack of bills on top. It brought it to the sister's side, and Scanty picked up the money. She took a small portion off of it, and held it out to Dan. "Will two thousand dollars do?" She asked.
"Yeah, that's plenty, thanks!" Dan said. He pocketed the money, and continued. "Anyway, we should probably get out of your hair, we were just about to go clean my apartment." He said, gesturing to the disguised angels and boy. Kneesocks gave them an evaluating look through her glasses. "You three are cleaners?" She asked them.
"Uh, yes ma'am, we're Heavenly Cleaning!" Brief said, with a falsified deep voice. "We'll make your home shine like the gates of heaven!"
"That's funny," Kneesocks continued. "I don't see a truck with you. How do you take your supplies with you?"
"Uh, they're a relatively new company," Chris said. "It belongs to my cousin... Paul." He put around Panty. "I'm just trying to help him get his feet off the ground."
"Uh, yeah, that's right!" Panty added with a somewhat unconvincing man-voice, slapping Chris roughly on the back. "I can always count on my good old cousin... Chris?"
Scanty and Kneesocks stared at the trio appraisingly. Finally, they seemed convinced. "Yes, well, I won't keep you any longer," Scanty said. She produced a business card and handed it to the disguised Panty. "Why don't you give us a call, and we might see about arranging a cleaning contract with you people." The two turned and walked back to their limo. The small red creature stayed behind for a moment, staring at them all intently, before a whistling came from the limo. It scuttled back to its masters, and shut the door before rounding the front of the vehicle and getting into the driver's seat. The limo pulled away, and the Demon Sisters shouted a farewell as they left.
"We bid you adieu!"
They all waved until the limo dissapeared from view, and Dan suddenly clutched his cranium.
"Agh! I've never had to be that nice before!" He shouted. "I think I gave myself an anyurism from suppressing my urge to punch them in the face!"
"Whatever, let's just go search the place and leave before they get back," Chris said. They all nodded, and the group headed up to the apartment.