Let me just be clear-I have never written a story that I have updated on a daily basis like this. That just proves how great my readers are.
I received a private message that asked if this was actually a femslash or just a friendship. I promise that it will be romance in time-but it simply isn't realistic to return after seven months and hop into bed with someone you've never had a romantic relationship with before, right? Patience, grasshopper! :) Enjoy the chapter.
Alex knew that dinner with Serena would be easy. If there was one thing her old law school friend loved to do, it was talk about herself. She wasn't conceited, but she sure had a lot to share. Luckily, that meant Alex didn't have to.
"So anyway, Michaels completely mishandles the evidence and then tries to convince me that the cops at the scene were tampering. I swear to God, I remember now why I wanted to be a prosecutor and never a skeevy defense attorney," Serena rants between California rolls.
"Damn, what crap," Alex replied. She picked up another piece of sushi and savored the taste in her mouth. They definitely did not serve this in the Congo.
"You know, you're thinner Alex. Don't they feed you in Africa?"
"Serena, you say that every time you see me. If it were ever true, I'd be dead by now. So what else is going on? You still talk to Abbie?"
"Oh, yeah. Poor woman gets her ass kicked every day by the feds, but she usually ends up shoving them down in the end. Still, she enjoys the occasional rant over the phone. She used to have Casey to vent to but she apparently left out of nowhere a couple of weeks ago."
"Novak? I didn't even know she was in Washington. I don't think anyone really knew what happened to her after she left SVU."
Serena laughed. "So is there any way you'll go back to the District Attorney's office? I hear a certain precinct misses you very much," Serena winked.
"Nah, I think I need to stick to this for a while," Alex said, her voice slightly far away. She was trying to convince herself of that fact as she was saying it. It was fulfilling, right? Fat chance. She found no pleasure in putting away a rapist just so his brother could strike next. But she was making a difference. Sure, it may take the rest of her life, but she will get justice for at least a sixteenth of a percent of the people who were violated. But she'd think of some reason why she kept on. Eventually.
"Hmm. Well, if you say so. But I was talking to Gillian Hardwicke the other day, and she told me that when she's preparing a case with your detectives, they're constantly making references to tactics you used."
Alex laughed. "Really?"
"Well, Benson mostly," Serena admitted.
"Oh," Alex said, grinning slightly and looking down.
Serena put a hand to her mouth. "Oh…my…god!"
"What?"
"You've got feelings for Benson!"
"Excuse me? Are you insane?"
"Please, Alex, I haven't seen that cheesy look on your face since you got the letter that you passed your LSATs and Bobby Mathison kissed you on the cheek. You've got the hots for your detective," Serena leered. "Priceless!"
"You really are insane. Olivia is a very good friend. Nothing more." But Alex was nervous now. Did I really do that look again? Uh oh…
Serena wasn't convinced.
"Liv!"
"Huh?"
"Oh nothing, I've only been asking you about Mellick's background check for the last three minutes," Elliot said rolling his eyes. "What's got you on another planet?"
"Maybe she went through a bad breakup," Olivia thought aloud, ignoring her partner.
"Please don't tell me you're still thinking about Alex," Elliot sighed. "You're going to see her tonight anyway."
"No, it must have been a tough case."
"Olivia Benson, you DO have a job, remember?"
"I'm sorry. I just keep thinking about her and the way she was acting yesterday."
Elliot studied her eyes. "Oh, no."
"What, aren't you worried?"
"I am. About you. You've fallen for her!"
"Funny, you don't look like Munch," Olivia sneered.
"I was wondering how long it would be before you fell for Alex Cabot…"
"Okay, first of all, I don't FALL for people. Secondly, I've known Alex a long time and I have a right to worry about my friend."
"You have other friends Liv. They've never taken your mind off the job. You have fallen, and fallen hard."
"Even if I had, which I have NOT," Olivia paused and sighed, "telling her something like that would only make her run, and she's already got her track shoes on." She ran a hand through her hair.
Elliot observed his partner stare off into space. "Yeah, but you DON'T have feelings for her," he chuckled.
"If it's anything, Stabler, it's just a crush," Olivia said waving her hand dismissively.
"Oh no, Benson. If there's one thing you actually DON'T do, it's having 'just a crush'."
Alex rose to the sound of knocking. She padded to her door and opening it to a grinning Olivia, holding precious bags of takeout in front of her.
"I come bearing gifts!"
"If you brought an egg roll, you're my new hero," Alex replied appreciatively inhaling the scent.
"Well that would be an honor, but what am I if I brought two?"
"A saint." Alex stepped aside to let Olivia in. "Just drop them on the kitchen table."
Olivia put down the bags and began removing container after container. Alex's mouth dropped open.
"Is this for us or the U.S. Army?" Alex asked.
"If I know you, you're not going to buy groceries for a week's stay. Therefore, your refrigerator is completely empty. So I figured leftovers wouldn't be such a bad thing for you," Olivia replied, half-smiling at Alex.
"That was very thoughtful of you," Alex said gratefully.
"Well I'm a detective, I get paid to think. That and flash my badge on demand." Olivia pulled out one of the egg rolls and handed it to Alex. "Your hors d'oeurve, my mademoiselle?"
"Merci, mon détective jolie," Alex replied, smiling.
"Okay, you know I don't actually speak much more French than what I said, hello and goodbye, and the Miranda warnings, right?"
"I do. I wanted to learn French when I was ten years old when my older cousin told me it was the most romantic language."
"I see, so what did you say?"
"I said thank you, my detective!" Alex answered, not needing the detective to know she'd just called her beautiful.
Olivia smiled, though she knew Alex had said some other word in there and resolved to look it up later on.
"I'll go get the plates and forks," Alex offered. "There's a movie I wanted to see on the television in a few minutes, you mind if we do TV dinner?"
"Not at all," Olivia called out to Alex who was pulling out paper plates from a cabinet in the kitchen. "It's what I usually do anyway!"
"I can't believe I just sat through Legally Blonde with Alexandra Cabot," Olivia mocked.
Alex wasn't moved by Olivia's sarcasm. "I can't believe I ate a whole container of lo mein…"
"Where do you put it all anyway?"
"It's the running that takes care of it. Not that I've been doing a lot of that lately. It's not all that fun breaking a sweat by exercising when the Hades-like temperatures already have you dripping. And I'm sorry for that mental image," Alex said squeezing her eyes shut and opening them again.
Olivia laughed. "Not a problem. So tell me more about what it's like there."
Alex turned her head and drew in a sharp breath. "I really wish you'd take the hint and stop asking about the Congo."
Olivia looked at her confused. "Alex, it's your job. Exactly what is so hard to talk about?"
"Do you enjoy talking about your work all the time?"
"Actually, I do. Because I enjoy my work. Don't you enjoy yours?"
"Of course I do!" Alex replied defensively.
"Okay, okay. So then why won't you talk about it?" Olivia said backing off.
"Maybe it's just none of your business!"
"You had no problem talking about it when we were emailing!"
Alex pushed away from Olivia and pointed a finger in her face. "Just…drop it."
"No, Alex. I've dropped it enough. There's something wrong with you and as your friend I refuse to let it eat you alive!"
"Who said we're friends?" Alex yelled gritting her teeth.
"You KNOW we're friends, Alex!"
"If you were really my friend you would stop asking all these questions!" Alex quickly got up and glared at Olivia.
"I'm not giving up, Alex," Olivia said gently, looking up at Alex with pleading eyes.
Alex hesitated for a minute, but hardened. "Yeah, well good for you. I'll be in the shower." She stormed away and Olivia swore she saw a smoke trail from how quickly Alex made it from the living room to the bathroom and winced as the door slammed.
Olivia frowned and took a deep breath. This was going to be harder than she thought. But she'd made a promise to herself that she would do anything if it would make Alex feel better. And now she'd all but confirmed her suspicion that Alex was NOT well.
Slowly and quietly, Olivia walked over to the bathroom door with half a mind to pry it open herself and settle things right away. But the relative silence of the apartment amplified the noises on the other side of the door. The sounds of water running and sobbing.
Olivia's mouth dropped open in surprise. Through the worst of times—when they saw Cheryl Avery after she was gang-raped, when Sam Cavanaugh tried to kill himself, when the shots had just plowed through Alex's body and she lay bleeding out on the sidewalk, when Alex told her and Elliot that she'd be "dead" indefinitely, when she faced the "ghost"—never, ever had Alex shed a tear or even come close.
Olivia took her hand off the doorknob and instead backed against the wall across from the bathroom door and slumped down to a seated position, watching the door and listening to the foreign sound of Alexandra Cabot crying.