There will only be a couple more chapters for this story. But only to make sure I stop it at the right time for the sequel! Yes, I will be writing a sequel to a story I write!
Haha. Enjoy the chapter.
Alex awoke that night with a start. She quickly looked the room over just to make sure that she was in her Manhattan apartment and no longer in the midst of a terrible nightmare. It had to be the booze from last night, right? There's no good reason for her to be having these dreams. And yet she still saw their faces. Dozens, it seemed, of dark-skinned, gaunt faces stained with months of tears that screamed their feelings of betrayal at her. She'd been screaming back—"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind! What good will my death be for you?"—but they shouted at her still. But now she was silent, and the voices in her nightmare dimmed from a white noise mess to a comparable silence.
She ran her hands down her body and gripped her blanket, making sure it was real. Why, why were they torturing her so?
It was 4:37 in the morning. That meant it would be 9:37 A.M. at the station. If she didn't call them right now to tell them she wasn't coming back, she never would.
"International Criminal Court, Prosecutor's Office."
"Good morning, please transfer me to Mr. Coughlin. This is Alexandra Cabot," she spoke tiredly.
"One moment, Ms. Cabot."
She noticed her heart beginning to pump a bit faster. A tiny layer of sweat was forming on the back of her neck, even though her apartment was cold. You have to do this, don't be a baby!
"Alex?"
"Hey, Tom," she began, her voice catching a little bit.
"Are you well, Alex?" he asked with concern in his voice.
"Yes, sir, I'm fine. I just needed to inform you that…"
"Oh, good. You have made your flight arrangements for tomorrow, yes? Dominique has arranged for a car to pick you up from the airport and there's a fresh stack of files with your name on it! Sorry about that. But your presence is missed here."
"Sir, I have not made any flight arrangements."
"No? Honestly, Ms. Cabot, where is your head? Alright, I'll have Dominique book a last minute flight for you, I'm sure we can find something…"
"Coughlin, I'm not taking any flight!"
"Well what will you do, swim across the Atlantic? Of course you're taking a flight!"
"Can you just listen to me for a minute? Please?" Alex asked exasperatedly. Coughlin went silent. "Thank you. The reason I don't need a flight is because…I'm not coming back. I have reason to fear for my safety and I am opting to withdraw from the ICC."
"Alex, why are you worried about your safety?"
"I'd prefer not to share that information with you, sir."
"Well…fine, then we'll get you some sort of protective detail. You can't be serious, Alexandra, this is such a brash decision!"
"I have my reasons. If you refuse to accept my resignation, I'll just quit."
"Do you have some better job offer?"
"That's not my reason for leaving. It's been a pleasure," (Alex bit her tongue at this) "working with you, sir. I will be submitting the necessary paperwork to the New York ICC office, but I felt it warranted to inform you personally first."
She heard Coughlin sigh on the other side of the line. "Alex, you had such potential. Nobody got through to the victims like you did."
"Yes, but at what cost?" Alex almost whispered. And then she hung up.
At his desk in the Congo, Thomas Coughlin stared at the phone, wondering just what Alex Cabot had meant.
In Manhattan, Alex Cabot drifted back to sleep as the voices began to ring in her ears again and the faces floated behind her eyelids.
"Good morning, Casey," Alex smiled at her co-worker when she entered the office they shared. Casey had already situated herself into her chair at her new cherry wood desk, reading glasses perched on her nose and a file spread out in front of her. She held a cup of coffee in her hand.
"Hey," Casey responded. "Oh, hold on a minute…" Casey put the coffee down, stood up and came out from behind her desk. She went over to Alex, who stood there confused. Casey reached into the pocket inside her blazer and pulled out some sort of makeup stick. "Close your eyes a sec," she said, and Alex shut her eyes. Casey rubbed the stick underneath Alex's eyes, smearing a light ivory shade over the bluish skin. "Good thing we have a similar skin color," Casey mused.
"Ugh, do I really look that bad?" Alex frowned.
"As I have no good response to that, I will say only that you should be grateful for my concealer. No sleep?"
"Not very good sleep."
"Well then, you'd better grab a coffee and make it strong. We got a case that we weren't expecting."
"What case?"
"How the hell did that happen?"
Olivia and Elliot were in Cragen's office, each wondering why the trial they were supposed to testify at today was suddenly postponed due to lack of prosecution. It was supposed to be Hardwicke's last trial, but she had apparently pulled out.
"Her husband called the DA's office. Said he didn't know who to talk to, but that Gillian had a change in plans and would be leaving early to accept her position," the captain replied.
"I didn't even know she was married. I never saw a ring," Olivia mused.
"She might've left it off to keep it safe. Some women get paranoid like that. I didn't know she'd accepted a different position," Elliot said.
"She did. I firmed it up with Boston Homicide. The lieutenant I spoke to said that they were expecting to meet her two days from now," Cragen responded. "So without an ADA, the trial has to be put off until Casey and Alex have enough time to prepare to prosecute it themselves."
"Talk about a welcome back present," Elliot scoffed. "I don't understand this. All this crap lately wasn't like Hardwicke."
"The job must've gotten under her skin," Olivia said thoughtfully.
The pair exited the captain's office and sat back at their desks. "Guess that means paperwork for us today," Elliot sighed. "Hot dog."
"Mmm, that actually sounds good." Olivia pulled out her phone and started to text Alex.
"Lunch date?" Elliot smirked.
"Shut up."
"Okay, Liv, if you're going to be eating crappy food, can we at least order it at a nice deli?" Olivia and Alex were stopped in front of a sidewalk cart. Alex found herself looking for sanitation violations where the hot dogs were spinning, where the relish had been left out, where the pretzels were standing, and all over the cart.
"Hot dogs are NOT crappy food, little princess. But I do know a nice deli if it will make Her Highness happy," Olivia winked.
"Quit it, you know I hate that," Alex replied sticking her tongue out. "And forgive me if I'd like to avoid food poisoning."
Olivia rolled her eyes at her paranoid girlfriend. "Come on, follow me."
They arrived at a tiny deli a few blocks over. Alex was wary, but it looked pretty clean and she smiled her approval at Olivia, who laughed.
"What would you like?" Olivia asked.
"I don't know, what's good here?"
"The hot dogs, silly."
"I'm not eating a poor excuse for a sausage filled with animal by-products and blubbering fat!"
"That's your problem. You're worried about what's in the food," Olivia teased. "Fine, they also make a really mean pastrami sandwich. I know you like that."
"Yes, I do. I'll take it, but make sure they don't put any mustard on it," Alex said, making a face.
"You got it."
Alex pulled up a chair at a table that hardly looked bigger than a tray table, but would do for two people if they didn't spread out too much. She had been through the two extremes of the world—eating at fancy dinner tables with three different sets of silverware, and eating on a bench in the middle of nowhere, Africa, sweating through blistering heat. She thought she could get used to this middle-ground.
Olivia came a few minutes later with her hot dog and Alex's sandwich. She also brought a couple of root beers and put them beside each plate.
"Olivia, what is this?"
"You're not serious, are you?"
"Actually, no, this time I just wanted to see your reaction," Alex grinned. "I'm not so high society that I can't appreciate a good root beer," she said opening it eagerly.
"You'll kill me, counselor," Olivia joked. "Hey, I'm sorry about your housewarming gift. We had no idea Hardwicke was going to bail like that."
"I'm kind of surprised. She doesn't seem like the type," Alex said. "Must've been some kind of emergency. But Novak and I will be fine. We've been reviewing it all morning. Seems pretty open and shut. You guys make our jobs almost somewhat easy," she winked.
Olivia smiled. "I'm still so amazed we get both of you. What did we do to deserve Wonder Woman and Supergirl on the same team?"
"Superheroes deserve superheroes."
"Indeed they do." Olivia took a bite of her hot dog and groaned in satisfaction.
"Attractive," Alex teased.
"Thuddup," Olivia tried to talk through her mouthful of mush.
"I resigned from the ICC this morning," Alex said more seriously. "I thought you should know."
Olivia swallowed. "How did that go?"
"It wasn't so bad. I confused the hell out of Coughlin, and he was trying like hell to get me to stay. But I managed it. I'm bringing the formal letter into the city station sometime tomorrow."
Olivia smiled at Alex warmly. "I'm proud of you, sweetie," she said sincerely, but Alex had a troubled look on her face. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"I keep seeing them. The women. Every time I try to sleep, the women are there screaming at me. Telling me I'm betraying them, that I'm betraying myself. I thought I'd convinced myself that this is the right thing to do, but I can't stop seeing them. I'm not going anywhere Liv," Alex reassured, "but I can't sleep. How do I get them out of my head?"
The detective sighed. "I suppose suggesting therapy again will go the same way it always does?" Alex nodded with a slight smirk. "Then I think it'll just take a little time. Once you start winning cases for the victims here again and you put bastards behind bars, you'll get the feeling of worthiness and your sanity back. Until then, coffee is your best friend. And ask Casey for some of her concealer."
"Oh good, it wore off already," Alex pouted.
Olivia laughed. "For now, Alex, just sit here with me, eat your pastrami, glug that root beer and don't worry about the sugar or the fat. Talk to me, laugh with me, and remember that life is more than suffering." Alex smiled at this. "And then you can go back to Casey and remember that life sometimes is suffering."
Alex play pushed Olivia's shoulder, and then, with a quick glance around, kissed her sweetly. "I can always count on you to ruin the moment," she teased.