Author: Alliegirl4life
Title: I've Lost My Smile
Disclaimers: I own nothing but the story idea itself; that is all.
Warnings: Slash, sexual situations and strong language. You have been warned.
Characters: Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart, among others.
Pairing: Shawn/Bret
Author Notes: Enjoy this story for what it is worth, or don't. The choice is yours. Also I want to take this time to thank my reviewers for sending me some great feedback (55 reviews? That's so awesome!). Thanks so much you guys and I hope this chapter does not disappoint.
Part 18 of I've Lost My Smile:
Bret glared at Shawn in disbelief. He instantly knew that Shawn had lied to him once again, but there was nothing he could do about it. Solemnly, Bret grabbed the remote control setting on the bed and turned on the television. He didn't know what to make of this crazy situation anymore.
As the silence between him and Shawn lingered, Bret began reminiscing about the days before he gave his heart to the Heartbreak Kid. How happy he'd been. What he would do just to experience those days again. But he knew that was now impossible; Shawn had his heart and that's the way it was going to stay.
Glaring at the television screen before him, Bret tried his best to ignore Shawn, but to no avail. He instantly noticed Shawn staring at him the moment he changed the channel. "What?" he asked.
Shawn said, "Nothing. I just notice that you're giving me the silent treatment."
Bret sighed, "You know why, Shawn."
"Do I?"
"Yes. It's because you can't stop lying."
Shawn snarled, "Lying? What are you talking about?" As if he doesn't know, Bret thought to himself.
Bret gritted his teeth in frustration. He couldn't believe Shawn was still willing to lie to him after everything they had just endured. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Shawn, and don't deny it either."
"What? You expect me to tell you every single little thing? Let me tell you something, Bret. I don't go stickin' my nose where it doesn't belong!" Shawn argued.
"No," Bret replied. "But your feelings for me don't prevent you from lying to my face, do they?"
All Shawn could do was look down at the blanket wrapped around his waist in silence. He didn't know how to respond to Bret's question because deep down, he knew the Hitman was right.
"Yea, that's exactly what I thought." Bret said.
Bret's POV-
I was foolish to believe that Shawn wouldn't lie to me again. I merely glance at the bouquet of roses still laying upon the floor and sigh; now I know how manipulative he really is.
"Bret, you know I…" I hear Shawn say. All I can do is look at him. I don't say a damned word because he knows he lied to me once again.
"I know what, Shawn?" I ask. "Go on ahead and tell me."
"Nevermind." I hear Shawn say before lying back down upon the hotel bed. "It's not worth it."
I look at him, daring him to continue. But he doesn't. Great. "What's not worth it, Shawn? Seriously, what did Vince tell you?" I see Shawn stare up at the ceiling in complete silence. Why can't he answer my question? What the hell did Vince say to him?
Shawn's POV-
I continue glaring at the ceiling as Vince's voice bombards my mind.
'I knew you wanted to keep your belt, so I gave you the chance to do just that.'
Do just that? All he did was cause more problems. More problems that I don't want to deal with.
'I told you I'd make it up to you, didn't I?' Make it up to me? Is that Vince's idea of 'making it up to me,' when it comes to the damned championship? I roll my eyes and sigh. If Bret could understand where I am coming from then he'd finally leave me alone. But he won't, damn it! He just won't let it go, will he?
"Shawn, answer my question already. What the hell did Vince tell you?"
I lie there with my eyes open and my mouth shut. I don't say a damned word to Bret as he continues.
"Shawn, I'm talking to you, damn it!"
I try my best to feign sleep, to pretend that I can't hear him. But I can't, can I? There he is waiting for me to answer him, for me to say something. Maybe I should just acknowledge him already. But what do I tell him? That I lied to him? That I just wanted the championship and that Vince set me up as a result? Would he really believe me then? Or will he walk away from me like he did the last time? After a few minutes, I finally turn over on my side and face him for the first time in over ten minutes. "What?" I say to him, waiting for an onslaught of obscenities. Instead Bret's words leave me absolutely speechless.
"Shawn, what did Vince tell you? And be honest, please. I want you to tell me the truth for once."
What do I say to that? Thinking to myself, I gradually gain the courage I've been seeking and tell him the truth. I tell him everything that Vince said to me over the phone and to my surprise, Bret doesn't react the way I thought he would. Instead of becoming angry, he asks me, "What is he talking about?"
"Bret, you know that I didn't really want to give you the championship, right?" I ask him. He nods. "Well, that is what he's talkin' about. He supposedly thought if he could manipulate the situation by putting us together and stuff, that you wouldn't want to take the belt away from me."
"What?" He asks. Oh boy, here we go. "So, is any of this real?" For once in my life, I find myself unable to speak my mind. I want to scream, 'Yes, this is real! I love you so much that I never want to lose you!' But in reality, I just can't force myself to say those words. For some reason, I can only lie there and wait for him to say something to me. But he doesn't. He simply looks at me, waiting for me to answer his question. But I can't. I just…Can't.
I know that we were making love to each other about an hour ago, but now it feels like an eternity. I want to hold him tight and never let him go. But thanks to Vince's phone call, I'm starting to have second thoughts. After all, what Vince said was true, but I just can't admit it, can I? I don't want to lose Bret, I really don't, but with my knee, I might not have a choice. I might have to leave the WWF and return home to San Antonio, Texas, alone. And I won't be able to take Bret with me if that's the case. And I don't want to hurt him anymore than I already have. Trying to hold back tears, all I can do is look at him and say, "I don't know, Bret."
Bret's POV-
He doesn't know? He doesn't know if any of this is real? What? I look down at the flowers scattered upon the carpeted floor and feel my heart begin to break. Slowly, maturely, I regain my composure and utter the words, "Are you serious? You mean none of this is real?"
"Bret, I…" I hear Shawn say before finally losing it.
"You know, I'm really getting sick of you lying to me. I love you, Shawn, and I don't lie to you. Instead I'm honest with you. I'm sincere, and I tell you the way it is, the way I feel. Doesn't that matter to you at all? Doesn't anything about me, about us, matter to you?" I wait for a response, but receive nothing. Not one single word from the Heartbreak Kid. So, I continue. "You mean to tell me that you have no fucking clue whether or not any of this is real? You don't know? Are you kidding me? We just made love, Shawn; you just bought me flowers a few hours ago, for crying out loud! How could you tell me that none of this is real?" I sit up and wait for him to answer me. But he doesn't utter a damned word. Instead all I receive is silence. This is just great, you know? I've done everything in my power to forgive him, to take him back, and this is how he repays me? Unbelievable.
Still experiencing the shock of everything that has transpired within the past twenty-four hours, I quickly climb out of the bed, throw on some clothes, collect my belongings and prepare to make my exit. As I do, I hear Shawn mutter some sort of apology. But I won't have any of it. I'm finished playing Shawn's games, and I'll be damned if anybody or anything is going to stop me from leaving him this time around.
As I open the room door, I hear Shawn calling after me, and for an instant I stop to listen to him.
"Bret, I didn't mean it that way. It's just that Vince…He might make me leave…" I shake my head upon hearing Shawn's excuse, and leave the room. I cannot believe I fell for him again, and I cannot believe that I, of all people, was stupid enough to sleep with Shawn Michaels in the first place! If I'd known what he'd put me through, how many lies he would tell me, then I wouldn't have agreed to share the same room with him to begin with.
Shawn's POV-
Damn it! I throw the covers off of me before quickly putting on some clothes, opening the door and looking for him, but he's already gone. I scan the hallway only to find a woman walking passed me, uttering the words, "Hello," as she makes her way back to her room. This is just fantastic! After the money I'd spent buying him those flowers, he fucking snaps and leaves after I tell him what Vince said to me. I really didn't want this to happen either. Everything was going great until I had to tell Bret the truth, and now he's gone. This is just great!
Closing the door behind me, I run down the hotel stairs and ask the desk clerk if she's seen Bret. She shakes her head and I quickly make my way towards the hotel exit. While scanning every face that passes by the glass doors, I finally realize that Bret is not among them. Feeling defeated for the second time, I slowly retrace my steps, return to my hotel room and wait for Monday to arrive. I just hope it arrives sooner rather than later.
To Be Continued
A/N 2: I know it has been such a long time since I updated this story and I am terribly sorry for making you guys wait. All I can say is that life can be completely chaotic sometimes. Anyway, I sincerely hope that you enjoyed reading this chapter, and hope that you can find the time to review. Thanks!