All i can do is apologise endlessly for my absence! I can assure you all i have not given up on this story, and now college isn't taking up my time anymore, i should have more time to write. Thank you for being so patient and for all those who've left wonderful reviews and added me. You make me proud of what i write.

This is for you Cheynee. Love you.

Chapter 9

After Lily had replied from upstairs and James had established she had not actually left (because wouldn't that just be his luck) he set the flask of hot chocolate down next to the several new bottles of Butterbeer, ruffling his hair nervously whilst Lily was still absent.

He needed to pull himself together; and fast. To think he had been just a moment away from kissing Lily Evans.

The thought both thrilled him to no end, and simultaneously scared the shit out of him.

For almost five years now he'd been imagining that moment, in a whole visage of different scenarios. It ranged from the pair of them arguing, Lily screaming at him, until he pinned her against the nearest wall, and her lips unerringly meeting his in a dominance-fighting, fiery, full bodily contact kiss.

And then came the other end of the spectrum, the kind of kiss that they had almost been presented with that very night.

Firelight, a comfy sofa, Lily looking irresistible and that light first kiss that James would grace her with, attempting to tell her just how precious she was in his mind. His fingers would trail through her hair and she'd give herself over to him, hands splayed on his shoulders as their kisses deepened.

He sighed in exhaustion, sinking back onto the squishy cushions he'd vacated before. Merlin Padfoot's right I'm such a girl sometimes.

And at that thought he felt another pang of annoyance towards his fellow Marauders. Although he really shouldn't have expected any less from them, should he? Of course they'd spy on him when he informed them he'd be alone with Evans for more than five minutes. His knuckles tightened a little as the thought occurred that this may not have been the first time... merely the first time they'd been rumbled.

But the annoyance abated quickly; another part of his was actually grateful for the interruption, no matter however unwelcome it had seemed at the time. He'd had a very near miss tonight.

He knew Lily was not stupid; Lily was brilliant. And that meant trouble if he couldn't keep himself in check. He dropped his head into his hands, scrubbing his face. He suddenly realised the effort was futile. Lily Evans was his Achilles Heel. Everyone in the school knew that. This effort to be better behaved around her was working, true, but this tight leash was starting to cut at his neck, rendering him unable to breathe and think and function properly. He couldn't fight down the ever persistent animal need to be close with her. Mentally they were taking steps, why not with physicality too?

After all, perhaps it was this look but don't touch thing that was driving him out of his fucking mind.

And so James sat up, draining the Butterbeer from his earlier opened bottle and letting the liquid warm his stomach and lend him confidence in his choice. Light touches, he told himself. Don't be greedy, but don't starve yourself. If she twitched, flinched or pulled back, he revert in a second.

If she blushed, he thought with a purely male grin on his face, he most certainly wouldn't.

Back and forth. Back, forth, back...

Merlin this was difficult.

Lily rocked upon the balls of her feet, stood on the very last step before the door back into the heads room. Her face was flaming.

How in the name of Merlin was she supposed to look him in the eye?

Not two minutes ago she'd been sat in the bathroom, thinking of James Potter having his hands on her, touching herself and aching –

Woah and there was the rest of her blood flaming her cheeks and neck to previously unseen proportions.

He's going to know! Her thoughts were gaining momentum on her like a growing hurricane of craziness. He's going to look at me and he'll know!

She could just picture the grin on his face, and the way his ego would inflate at the victory. The swagger he'd perform upon approaching her, all masculine, and the way he'd pull her against him and claim her lips with the certainty she wouldn't fight him off...

Hmm, perhaps if he knew it wouldn't be so bad.

But another wave of embarrassment rushed over her when she realised she hadn't really cooled off as much as she'd thought upstairs. He's going to know! And the scenario played over. The power he'd hold with that knowledge was terrifying.

A little cartoon light bulb might as well have appeared about her head a second later.

Well duh. Hadn't she suspected he was touching himself earlier? James was a guy. Guy's wanked all the time.

Her flush renewed yet again, but not entirely from Potter, to the best of her knowledge had only ever had eyes for her. Which meant he must think of her when he...

A realisation that would have previously disgusted her now caused a little grin to appear on her face. Lily still had the upper hand in this. She skipped off the last step, scoffing at her earlier notions. How could he possibly know she had thought about his hand on her breasts while she touched herself?

As soon as she walked back into the room, he smiled widely at her and the flush hit her cheeks.

Shite he knows!

"Hello again," he said, cheerily and clearly oblivious to her discomfort.

Giving an awkward, answering smile, Lily plopped down onto the sofa again, hearing a purring sound down by her feet. She especially tried to ignore the fact that James had stripped his own jumper off now, clad only in a deep blue t-shirt. She was hyper-aware of his muscley forearms and biceps pulling the material taut.

A wave of heat re-assaulted her middle. Damn him!

"Made a new friend while I was gone did you?" she laughed, watching Tigger curl himself around James' ankles.

"What can I say? There's just something about red hair that holds my attention," he said with a smirk.

Oh hell he was trying to make her blush.

The heat remaining in her cheeks told her he was succeeding.

"So what's the story behind Tigger here then?" James asked after handing her a fresh hot chocolate-Butterbeer concoction. "Careful it's hot."

Her lips turned up in a smile at his sweet concern for something so small. But by this point her drink wasn't the only thing that was hot. With a roaring fireplace and James' jumper the room was progressing into uncomfortably warm. She'd have to strip it off soon...

"Well," she said, blowing gently on the hot liquid. "When I was little I read these books called 'The Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh'."

Lily watched as James' lips twitched at the name and she rolled her eyes. He was still such a little boy in some ways.

"It was about a little boy called Christopher Robin and his teddy bear. It had different animals as characters and one was an orange and black stripy 'Tigger'," she said, specifying when she saw he still didn't get it. "Like Tiger but spelled wrong."

"Oh," James said, nodding. "Go on. This is a Muggle book?"

"A series of them," she said smiling. "Tigger bounces around on his tail and crashes into things. He was my favourite because he was so full of energy and silly!"

James grinned slyly at her, scratching behind Tigger's ear. "Sounds familiar."

Lily bit back a chuckle. "I have simply no idea what you mean Potter," she said, sipping her warm drink. "Your turn."

James immediately feigned ignorance. "For what?"

"Don't give me that," Lily wheedled, prodding his side."You owe me a truth."

She watched as he squirmed, uncorking another Butterbeer and chugging rather a lot of it quickly.

"You get to ask me one after," she said, bargaining.

James fiddled with the label on the bottle, before meeting her eyes.

"All right," he agreed. "Fire away Evans."

Hmm, the opportunity to ask James anything? A million things sprang to mind. That curiosity to know him better washed over her with a renewed vigour. Before she'd even considered her options, she blurted the words.

"Your first kiss?"

James paled. His hands stilled from his attempts to peel the label off his bottle.

"What about it?"

Ah so he has kissed someone. A little insecurity pulled at Lily but she attempted to push it to the back of her mind.

"Tell me about it?"

When he didn't answer immediately, Lily shifted her eyes to the fireplace, wondering if she was probing where she shouldn't. After all, if James asked her the same question...

"You don't have to-"

"I hated it."

Her eyes snapped back to him. James' voice was full of powerful regret, the flames of the hearth flashing in the lenses of his glasses, hiding his eyes from her.

"It was after losing the Quidditch cup in fifth year."

Lily frowned. "You mean the game when you were injured during play and missed the end of the match?"

James glanced at her, looking surprised she remembered. She shrugged.

"It was awful seeing you hurt like that."

"It was no party on my end either, trust me," he said wryly.

Lily's stomach churned, suddenly feeling the weight of all that chocolatey drink swirling around in the gut. James had collided with a Ravenclaw beaters bat so hard, his arm had snapped clean and his shoulder had dislocated so severely it looked like his arm was going to fly off. The way he'd passed out cold with the pain still made Lily shudder.

"Well when I woke up in the hospital wing, I was pretty out of it," he said, jaw clenched. "Whatever pain potion I was on was hardcore. Sirius thought it would be comforting if I woke up surrounded by sympathetic women. When he turned his back, one of them started to kiss me and I couldn't do much to stop her. And because I was all woozy, I wasn't sure who it even was. Moony pulled her off me and Sirius persuaded them to leave."

Swallowing a little, Lily watched as James exhaled, ruffling his hair.

"Not what I wanted you know? First kisses should be a test of a blokes courage. An experience that leaves you buzzing for days after."

Her heart went out to him. Never would she have suspected that James was so deep emotionally that he'd thought about something like that so in depth. Anger filled her that some stupid air headed bint could take a moment like that from him, without even a thought.

"Fucking bitch!"

Even James snapping back, staring at her with surprise couldn't abate the urge to interrogate every girl in Hogwarts until she found the right one and give her a good jinx to her, no doubt, perfectly make-uped face.

"Not jealous are we Evans?" James said with a chuckle.

"She had no right to do that," she said vehemently.

Worked up as she was, James' jumper became cloying and with a growl she plunked her mug down, pulling the scarlet material over her head. His hitched breathing did register, but she was too annoyed to care fully at the moment.

"I can't believe someone would take advantage of you like that. She's probably giggling about it even now! 'Oh check me out! I'm amazing I snogged James Potter when he was practically incapacitated!'

"And those idiotic, air-headed bimbos in your 'fan club' probably have her as their ultimate leader! She's probably never brushed her teeth since that day and spends all her time reliving that moment that so validates her! Brainless, puerile, insensitive, egotistical-"

Abruptly, James wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to his side and resting his face softly against her temple. That stemmed Lily's angry rant instantly, the feel of James' warm form pressed to hers, his scent, his hold on her and his bare skinned forearm touching the large expanse of her own hot skin flustering her. But in a good way.

In an amazing way.

Breathe. Remembering to breathe would be good around now.

"The way I see it," James said softly, into her hair. "Is that that was my first time being kissed. That wasn't the first time I kissed someone. No one can take that away. Do I wish it hadn't happened? Of course. But regardless, I'll have that same nerve wracking moment as every other bloke leaning in to kiss their dream girl. No one can take away something like that."

Knowing it would seem extremely suspect, but unable to resist, Lily snuggled in closer, breathing his warm scent.

"Good," she said with a grin. "Wouldn't want James Potter deprived of a buzzing power trip would we?"

All James managed was a slight chuckle at her sarcastic tone.

He was holding Lily Evans. Holding her! And he was still in one piece!

Oh Merlin he must have died. There was no other explanation. Oh well at least he'd ended up in heaven. All that looking out for ickle firsties had paid off!

His eyes flitted down involuntarily, watching Lily's full breasts rise and fall, every single detail of their graceful curve barely contained in the thin white vest top she wore. So much of her ivory skin was exposed, and James' bare arm across her shoulders was registering every warm inch against his own.

Merlin she's trying to kill me.

He tried desperately not to squirm, but he was somewhat uncomfortable in his jeans now. Lily snuggled closer again, yawning and he froze where he was.

Distraction, distraction, need a distraction!

His Adam's apple bobbed with a swallow.

"Are you going to ask me something then?" Lily said with another yawn. "If you don't hurry up I'll fall asleep on you."

Glancing at the clock, James' eyes widened when he saw it was just gone half eleven. From over the years, James knew Lily was one of those early to rise types, and was usually in bed by ten. In contrast, being the Marauder that he was, James was able to stay up all night if he felt like it, opting to take a midday nap during History of Magic. Now that Lily had pointed it out though, he was starting to feel drowsy too. He was comfortably warm on the plush sofa, belly filled with Butterbeer and Lily's small body snugly against his.

A yawn pulled at his mouth and Lily giggled.

"Infectious yawning. Gets people every time."

James grinned. "Funny that. Yawns are infectious but so is laughter? That's just weird."

The vibrations from her chuckle made his hair stand on end. Suddenly, James was almost painfully aware of his hand resting on her upper arm. His fingers felt very heavy and almost itched with the urge to trail over her soft skin. Breathing seemed to become less of an involuntary reaction, more something he had to think about to keep steady. Desperately his instincts called for him to move, and at the same time that fear of reprisal kept him frozen in place.

His palms sweated. His heart jumped to an uncomfortable pace. But James was a Gryffindor, and bravery was what they did best.

With the tiniest fraction of movement, his fingertips tickled up. Then down. He felt and heard Lily's breathing shift unevenly, repeating the action with a little more certainty.

He froze in terror when she shifted, but she was just curling her legs up onto the sofa. With another swallow and breath, he softly trailed his fingers over her silky skin, pride swelling in his torso, adrenaline from his success making his beam.

Her small hand settled on his thigh. And her fingers began slowly swirling patterns.

The rush of exhilaration from the fissions of her touch through his jeans made James bite down on his lip to keep from making a noise. He wanted to pant from the sheer delicious torture of having Lily Evans touching him in a way that encouraged his over-active imagination. The throbbing returned in his pants, and he closed his eyes at the thought of her moving her touches higher.

"I feel so comfortable with you," she said softly.

And just like that, the magnitude of their current position overwhelmed him. All he had ever dreamed of having was almost in his arms, and here he was thinking like a horny git!

Be a man, he thought angrily. Be a man, not a teenager.

"I can still ask you anything?" he said quietly, allowing that burning curiosity about everything Lily Evans to over-rule his hormones.

"Yes James," said Lily. "You were totally truthful. I want to be too."

"You don't have to answer," James said hesitantly. "But I was wondering... about your sister?"

Immediately, Lily tensed and her fingers stilled. James kept up his light strokes on her arm, and after a few moments, she relaxed a little.

"You got a letter from her the other day," he said, clarifying. "And you didn't seem very happy after reading it. Actually you always seem a little down after you get a letter from her."

James felt her torso expand as she took a cleansing breath.

"My sister," Lily began softly. "Hasn't been the same with me since the day we found out I was a witch. Or a 'freak' as she now calls me."

James felt a rush of anger. Bloody hell she couldn't catch a break could she? Shunned in the wizard world by those idiotic pure-blood bigots, then at the same time insulted by her own family because she has this amazing gift. He didn't realise how much crap she had to put up with.

"I know it's nothing to be ashamed of," she continued, watching as she continued drawing those distracting patterns on the blue denim covering his thigh. "I'm so proud of being a witch. I feel bad for Petunia most of the time; overshadowed by her little sisters special gift. But the sly digs she has in the letters, especially since Mum-"

She abruptly cut off. James knew why, and pulled her a little tighter against him.

Lily had carried a shadowed expression for months during their fourth year. It was the only time he'd seen her cry after one of their arguments. Alice had explained to him afterwards that Lily had lost her Mum over the summer, in a car crash. Echo's of pain from the loss of his own Dad pulled at James' mind and he took a breath.

"I know," he said softly, knowing he didn't have to clarify.

Lily nodded against him. The death of his father had been all over the wizarding newspapers in his second year, after an auror mission went wrong. Clearing her throat, she continued.

"Petunia has this boyfriend. Absolute whale of a bloke. I can't stand him and he can't stand me; and this is without him knowing about the magic. Petunia refuses to tell him. Needless to say, we're growing even further apart as we grow older. I love her, and always will as my sister, but I don't think we'll ever get along."

With a sigh, James slouched lower on the sofa, his head leaning against Lily's.

"That isn't fair for you," he said after a while. "But if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that blood doesn't always matter. Look at Sirius. You know his brother is into all that pure-blood bullshit, but Sirius despises it. My mum treats him like a second son, and he is my brother, regardless of the blood in us.

I see the way you and Alice are connected, and it's exactly the same. You're sisters, just as much if not more so than you and Petunia. And now you have me too. And the Marauders. We're a family Lily and we look out for our own. Maybe in time, Petunia will realise what she's missing with you. And I rally hope she does, because with you, even the Muggle world is more magical."

The slight sniffle she gave was answer enough. When James pulled back slowly to look at her, he saw two identical tears rolling over her cheeks, her eyes closed and she looked dog tired.

"Thank you," Lily said a little hoarsely.

James gently brushed the tears from her face, before making to stand up.

Lily grabbed his arm.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"You're tired Lily," said James lowly, tucking her hair behind her ear. It didn't even register how much he was touching her right now, not when she was the most precious thing in existence and needed taking care of. "Lay down. I'll bring you a blanket."

"Please don't go," she said, complying with the lying down part of his plan.

James looked at her for a moment, unwilling to deny her. Summoning a blanket from the dorm upstairs, he draped it over her, lying down beside her. The way she snuggled close to him when he wrapped an arm over her form made him happier than he'd ever been.

"Sleep now Lils," he said with a yawn, feeling his own eyes droop.

Yay its done! Finally we can move on to more sirius things :p as you can tell i've made things a little more focused on the pair connecting in this chapter rather than mindless smut. Fear not there will be heated moments to come, but i want this to remain realistic. xxx