Gunner sat on in his usual perch in the cherry-blossom tree, watching everyone walk by. Gilbert, to his disliking, was busy with the Bad Touch Trio. He wasn't exactly fond of their antics, but it wasn't like the Icelander could just lock Gilbert in a closet for all eternity. Of course, when everything was going fine in Gunner's life, something had to go wrong.

"See? Isn't he kind of cute?" A blonde asked his two friends.

"Y-yeah, he s-sure is, I-I guess...b-but, w-what if he a-already has someone?" One responded, trembling.

"I think Raivas has a point, Eduard." The third responded, and the first two names gave away who they were.

They were called the Baltic Trio.

"Toris, Raivas, why would he already have a lover?" Eduard asked too hopefully. "Not that he isn't amazing, but I think he's still on his own."

"You're like, swooning like, waaay more than I've ever seen, I mean, really? That's like, totally creepy. Especially the staking." Felix appeared out of thin air as he usually did, with little, invisible pink hearts filling the air around him. "And I think he's already taken, so like, you totally need to like, calm your ponies and stuff."

"Felix, the expression is-"

"Oh my god Liet!" Felix pouted. "If I don't make new phrases, then they'll like, never be made! Seriously..."

"Um..." Raivas saw exactly what he didn't want to see. He went to warn the others, but the poor Latvian found himself alone.

"Raivas!~ I found you, да?"

"Um, uh, H-H-H-HI IVAN! I-IT'S VERY NICE TO SEE YOU, SIR!"

"Oh no..." Toris muttered as Ivan closed in on Raivas.

"Totally not cool, commie."

"I think he's going to be okay." Eduard mumbled. "See? Now that he fainted, Ivan wouldn't hurt him...r-right?"

"There's Matthew as well." Toris added. "I think Ivan will keep his sanity this time around..." An awkward silence enveloped the three.

"OKAY! So like, anyway. What I think you should do is like, very smoothly, ask him like, what he thinks is totally cool in a guy. Then you see if you fit that, 'cause like, honey, you don't, you're out. Oh Liet? Who are we talking about?" Toris shook his head, shrugged, then nudged the Estonian sitting to his left.

"Gunner."

"...okay like...who?"

"Gunner." Eduard repeated. "He's one of the newer students here?

White hair, purple eyes...he has a pet bird?"

"...you mean like, Valdis's brother?" Felix asked, having to cover his mouth with both hands to stifle a laugh. "Oh my GAWD, Eduard! Soooo out of your league, I mean like, really!"

"Well, it could happen." Eduard replied with determination. "Just wait."

"Okay, honey, but I'm like, only giving this like, a week or so." At that, Eduard left, leaving a Pole and a Lithuanian in a bush. At the mention of the two alone in a bush, a Hungarian ran for her camera.

"So...did you mean how long the relationship would last, or how long Eduard could hold out?" Felix smiled his sly, schoolgirl 'I totally got this' smile.

"I meant like, how long he could go before getting a glove-smack."

Fancis made 'the signal' to Antonio, both of which were still attempting to expose Gilbert's secret relationship.

"So are we getting beer tonight or what?" Gilbert asked, putting his arm around the Spaniard, who's other arm was around the Frenchman.

"Yep! Oh, and Lovi-Cake has been being just the cutest lately! Sure, he's been being a bit fussy and acting like he doesn't care, but I know how he really feels!~" Francis smiled at the brunette's performance. He knew as well as anyone that Gunner shared some of the same character traits as Lovino. They again planned, this time using Antonio's usual ranting to bring out a reaction to jump at.

They practiced the emphasis for an hour.

"Oh, oui. Dear Joan has been being quite sweet as well! She's even made me some sweets!" Francis swooned, adding in the sweets due to Gunner's love of licorice.

"God, you two. Acting all lovey-dovey and sappy. Next I guess you're going to go running off without me! Kesesesese!" Gilbert smiled, and for once didn't feel bitter about his friends' rambling. The plotters exchanged glances, suddenly realizing they just made the best opportunity to jump on they could have.

"Oui, maybe. I'm glad you aren't upset like you usually are."

"Si. Find something else to preoccupy you when we're out?"

"Ja. I'm all good."

"And what could that be, mon cher? A...oh, I don't know, an...amant?" Francis pinned Gilbert to the side of the building with his shear molestation grip, preventing Gilbert from even attempting to squirm away.

"Ah, um, a friend." The albino answered, suddenly realizing why his two friends were suddenly so obsessed with their lovers. His mind raced as he squirmed, trying to come up with a makeshift excuse.

"A friend? Un con beneficios?"

"Wait, what?" Gilbert looked at Antonio, denying to himself what he might have said in Spanish.

"Un amigo con beneficios? A friend...with benefits?/"

"Uh, n-no, just a friend!" Gilbert yelled, still trying to get out of Francis's grip. "What are-"

"And who might this 'friend' be?" Francis asked in almost a menacing tone of voice.

"J-just-"

"OI! Elrösung ihm flugs!"

"L-Ludwig? !"

"Danke Gott..."

Antonio and Francis didn't retreat.

They advanced in the other direction.

"Hey, Eduard!" Tino shouted, running towards his cousin in a slight panic.

"Tino! What's the matter?"

"Raivas said Ivan needs to see you...as in this very moment."

"Um, t-tell him I'm busy."

"Raivas already said you were free."

"..."

"Eduard?"

"..."

"Oh, no, Eduard don't-"

"LATVIAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

A/N

Hi thar!~

It's been way too long, hasn't it? I didn't really mean to go all AWOL on you people there. However, you know how when you want a plot/chapter bunny, it doesn't come, and when you least expect it, it attacks you? Yeah. That was me. For much too long.

Also, I do ship FrancexJoan of Arc, but it's one of hose pairings that you keep on the side because it's sweet. It's a "decoration pair" as I call them. However, I rabidly ship Russia/Canada. Very, very, very rabidly. Hence the phrase, "There's Matthew as well."

So, why, of everyone I could pick, was it Estonia? Well, I suppose Hong Kong could have worked, but I couldn't make everything else work. You see, Estonia wanted to be a Scandinavian nation in this thing called 'real life.' I'm not very acquainted with it, but I figured it could work. Iceland is a Nordic, Estonia wants to be a Nordic, Sweden hates Estonia, Norway is Sweden's friend and Iceland's brother, and Gilbert is already Iceland's boyfriend.

As the title suggests, nothing good can happen next.

I'll go to translations. If the Internet lied to me and something isn't right, I'd like to know please!~

Si, Oui, Ja; all mean yes, Spanish, French, German

Mon cher; My dear, French

Amant; lover, French

Un con beneficios?; one with benefits?, Spanish

Un amigo con beneficios?; a friend with benefits?, Spanish (Spain translates it already, but just in case.)

Elrösung ihm flugs!; Release him at once!, German

Danke Gott...; Thank God..., German

Tino is Eduard's cousin. Don't deny me this.