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Chapter 3 : Apologies

Everything was quiet when she appeared in front of Grimmauld place. She spoke the password quietly, got inside then walked along the dark hall carefully. Trying her hardest not to step on anything or trip over. It was essential that she stay quiet The Order meeting was definitely over and after that everyone usually left or went to bed, it almost seemed like everyone hated to linger and socialize. She was kind of glad; she just wasn't in the mood for interrogation or people questioning her. They would only put her down and she didn't think she could take it at the moment. She needed that fact that she was still useful to help her keep going, and the thought that she would be able to avenge Ron, or even find out where he was made her more determined.

It was obvious that Snape was her best bet but she knew the Order would never accept him after Dumbledore's death. Therefore she would have to work with him on her own, in secret. Hermione reached the end of the corridor and was about to start heading up the stairs when the kitchen light came on. She froze. The door opened slowly and there stood Harry, looking like he'd been running his hands repeatedly through his hair. It was all sticking up, more than usual. He looked so tired that Hermione immediately felt bad about the way she had left. "Hermione? Are you ok?" He asked obvious concern etched on his face "I didn't mean to-"

"I know Harry, I'm sorry for storming out, I just…" She faltered, not knowing what else she could say...finally she stumbled on some words. "You should get to bed, you look half dead"

Harry smiled softly."I just wanted to make sure you came back safely…when we couldn't find you…I didn't think you would want to be interrupted" Hermione felt tears come to her eyes. He was trying so hard. Harry continued, a little more upbeat

"So I thought I'd use the time to catch up on my reading" He held up what looked like another old, heavy, difficult book. At this another twinge of guilt ran through her. Harry didn't get enough sleep as it was without her giving him more reason to stay up. He headed towards her, pausing to give her a quick, comforting hug before continuing up the stairs.

"I'm sorry Harry" she blurted out. He looked down from the steps,

"Its ok, I know you are". Hermione had just turned away when he spoke again

"Hermione, it was you who destroyed the portrait wasn't it?"

Hermione blanked then said without faltering "No, it wasn't" His eyes bore into her questioningly but she managed to hold the look steadily.

"Ok, I believe you, but Hermione, you'd better have learned from your mistakes, we can't afford any more mess ups ok? I need to know we can rely on you"

"You can"

"Good. And there's a raid on in a few days. So there won't be many people around-"

"Can I-"

"No, it's not a good idea, not after last time. You'll stay here and help injured members that return" Hermione nodded.

He continued away then seemed to remember something. "Hermione, the Order discussed it and we think more noticeable members of the Order like you need to go out in a disguise if you leave at any point during the day. If you weren't doing so already" And with that he left her standing there.

The next morning Hermione got up as soon as she opened her eyes. She got dressed and headed down the stairs cautiously, listening for the tell-tale murmurings that would let her know if there was an Order meeting on. Everything was silent but just to be sure she checked the dining room where they usually had the meetings. It was deserted so she continued on to the kitchen. She sighed. Everything was quiet but she didn't mind, she made herself some toast and coffee and sat down to read the newspaper that Kreacher brought in every morning for Harry.

Harry emerged into the kitchen a couple of hours later when the sunlight was just starting to stream through the windows and Hermione handed him the newspaper as she got up to get him something to eat. He took the newspaper but held his hand up when she started preparing food. "There's no need to do that, I'm not hungry," Hermione continued pouring him some coffee as if she hadn't heard him. She wasn't the best cook but whenever Kreacher made him something and Harry didn't eat or finish it, he punished himself without Harry knowing; the third time Hermione caught him ironing his ears she decided she would be the one to make Harry's meals and make sure he ate them.

This was another reason Kreacher wasn't too keen on Hermione. There had been an unfortunate incident where he attempted to slip something in Harry's food. It had caused an outrage among the present Order members and several wands were drawn. Instead of punishing the elf Harry had protected him from the angry people. That and Harry's continuous kindness and understanding caused a radical change where all Kreacher wanted to do was please his master. The problem was, Hermione was there doing the jobs as well. She knew she shouldn't but she couldn't bare to sit around doing nothing while the house elf did all the work. She placed the eggs, bacon and coffee in front of Harry

"Eat" She said, hands on her hip.

"Yes Mrs Weasley" He smirked into his coffee mug. Blushing, Hermione immediately removed her hands from her hips and sat down on the chair next to him huffily. Plucking the newspaper from his hands and silencing him with a glare when he objected.

There was silence for a few minutes as she continued to read. "Another one of the Unspeakables have disappeared today, that's the third one this month" She muttered more to herself than to Harry. She put the newspaper down again, not wanting to read about any more disappearances or deaths. She wished Harry wouldn't read the news every morning, she knew how guilty he felt. He said he only did it to be kept up to date with Voldemort's movements. Since they only had a couple of minor spies it was the best place to get information. But Hermione thought otherwise. She sat at the table watching him thoughtfully until he had finished his breakfast. Finally realising she was staring she got up to leave.

"Sit down Hermione" She did as she was told, trying to avoid making eye contact with his powerful green eyes, instead staring at the table. "Where did you go yesterday?" there was a pause while she tried to find the words but Harry got there first "There?" and Hermione nodded. Not trusting her nearly overflowing tears not to fall. "Did you sort-?" Hermione nodded again, still staring at the table as if it was fascinating her, her fingers tracing the scars of the wooden table. Her nails scratching little indentations of her own. This table had seen so much.

"I know it's hard 'mione and I'm sorry for suggesting what I did when your still getting over loosing them… You know I didn't mean to upset you." He reached out and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. She couldn't help herself, she looked up and instantly saw the pain in his eyes and the guilt wash over her again. He was too young to have to deal with this, they all were. She forced a smile onto her face.

"Harry it's my fault…don't blame yourself… I overreacted I'm sorry" She got up. "Do you know when the next Order meeting will be?" He shrugged

"I'm not sure…in a couple of day's time. Any more than that and we're wasting time, we need someone on the inside as soon as possible…" Hermione nodded

"I understand, I'm going to look for any possible way but... if I don't find anything by the time the next Order meeting takes place…we'll work from your idea. Is that..does that sound ok?" Harry looked up at her empathetically.

"I'll let you know when the next Order mee-" A thought popped into Hermione's head and she interrupted him

"Can the memory block be removed?" Harry's look said more than his words could.

"No" he said gently. Hermione managed a small smile, but that didn't stop her heart shattering

"Thought not" she turned to leave when Harry spoke again.

"I won't be into today; I've got some…stuff to do."

"Are you going on your own? Do you want me to come with you?" The words slipped out before she could stop them, so desperate was she to do something useful.

His reply was curt and blunt "No"

His answer was like a kick in the gut. "You're not going alone are you?"

"Charlie said he would come with me" Hermione felt her heart sink slightly, she wouldn't be seeing him today then. But at least Harry wasn't going off on his own. That would be plain stupid.

Hermione tried to keep herself occupied during the day, cleaning, researching, cooking, anything to keep her mind from turning to what was going to have to be done if she couldn't find a way to get into Voldemort's ranks. It was going to be incredibly difficult, mostly because she was one of Harry's best friends (she refused to think she was only one). But that could be used…he would suspect she would get more information than any other spy perhaps... By the time that noon arrived she was out of things to do, Harry had disappeared for the day and Hermione had no idea where he was or when he would be back. The silence of the house seemed deafening, she tried putting some music on but the sound echoed through the empty house so Hermione quickly switched it off and the unnerving silence returned. About two o'clock she heard someone come through the door and she quickly left her bedroom, eager for any social interaction. "Charlie" She squealed when she saw him, running straight to his arms.

He chuckled. "Hello Hermione"

She pulled away. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be with Harry…" Charlie just shook his head looking slightly confused.

"That wasn't me, I didn't have any work so I thought I'd come and spend time with you" Hermione answered by throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him fiercely. He kissed back, his arms wound around her waist pulling her against him. Eventually Hermione had to break away to breathe, but she didn't pull away. "Upstairs?" he muttered his voice slightly husky. Hermione raised her eyebrow, and Charlie started kissing her neck. "Don't worry" He whispered, "I know your not ready yet" his breath brushed against her skin and Hermione shuddered slightly as small shivers of pleasure went up her spine. He pulled his head away from her neck and brought her lips to his again, forcefully kissing her, parting her lips with his tongue. One of his hands moving from her waist up to her breast and caressing gently, by this time Hermione was starting to feel unsteady on her feet, breaking away for a brief second she whispered

"Upstairs" Charlie grinned wickedly. Picking her up and ignoring her sequels of protest he headed up the stairs. With more ease and speed than she could have managed in this state. He reached her room in what seemed to be record time and placed her on her bed, lying down next to her on his side, propped up on his elbow, watching her. His hand reached forward, stroking her face softly and brushing some strands of hair from her face before his hand moved down, following the curves of her body, pausing every now and again to trace little circles, his fingers stopped as they reached the waistband of her jeans, tracing the skin underneath her top. His touch light and teasing, soon Hermione couldn't take it any more, she reached forward, pulling him closer, crashing her lips to his again, needing more contact. Before she knew it he was on top of her, her legs wrapped around his waist.

Later that afternoon Hermione found herself alone again. It was starting to get dark now and she felt the familiar edge of worry start filling her mind. Harry should have been back by now, or at least sent a message, she couldn't believe he had lied to her, Charlie hadn't known anything about it. They had talked about it briefly after their makeout session, before he had to leave again. Harry obviously wanted to do whatever it was on his own, but why? Order members had started the usual entering and leaving routine but none of them could tell her anything about Harry. She had given up. So now she was sitting in her room in the dark and staring out of the window, she could barely see anything apart from the street lamps but she liked watching people apparating to and from. She felt so utterly and totally useless and trapped, trapped by this house, trapped by her mind, trapped by the Order. Now she knew how Sirius had felt. She wanted to go out and do something, but there was nothing to do. What was strange was that she really wanted to talk to Severus, she'd missed their talks when he'd gone over to the 'Dark' side. It had always been much more interesting talking to him than Harry and…Ron. It wasn't as if she didn't like talking to them but it just wasn't the same. When they were younger it was always about sports and as they grew up…more serious matters but with Severus…his intelligence shone in discussions and his opinions so strong she could talk to him for hours.

She sighed and got up, unable to sit still any more. She headed out of her room and down the stairs in time to see Remus come in through the door looking very haggard. "How did it go?" She asked. He smiled tiredly at her.

"Not as well as I'd hoped…but some progress was made…I think" He looked disappointed.

"Its ok, at least you made progress. Are you hungry?" Remus just shook his head.

"I don't think I could eat anything at the moment"

"Are you sure?" Hermione took in his frail looking form.

"Yes, I've got to go out again now anyway, I just needed to speak to Harry, is he back yet?" Hermione shook her head.

"He hasn't been in all day; he didn't tell me where he went" Remus looked slightly concerned at that statement and Hermione's worry took root again.

"Well, never mind, I'll stop by later" She watched him leave and then headed towards the dining room, hearing voices from inside. She didn't want to go back upstairs. Two aurors sat at one end of the table, papers spread in front of them. She recognised them so, eager for conversation she headed towards them.

"What are these?" she asked the nearest one to her, Tom Davies his name was, he was quite a new auror, a few years older than she was but he didn't look it. With his bright blue eyes and messy blonde hair he looked young and naive. Davis jumped when he heard her voice, obviously engrossed in his work but the other auror just continued on, ignoring her. Davis ran a hand through his hair. Seeming flustered.

"Well...uhh...we've been trying to work out what muggle villages he will plan to attack, going by the ones he has attacked and the ones that he may think hold non-magical relatives. But we don't seem to be getting anywhere," Hermione moved round so she was behind the desk looking over their shoulders. The papers were mostly charts and maps with dots all over them. "Red signify where he had attacked, blue where our sources have said there will be attacks and yellow where we think he will target" Hermione couldn't help but notice that there were an awful lot of red dots compared to the yellow dots, and very few blue dots. She could understand his frustration.

"What makes you think he will attack all these places here and not there?" she asked gesturing to a small gathering off yellow dots, quite closely packed together and then to an area where there where no dots at all. He pointed to the area with no dots.

"Over here there is a magical town bang in the centre, we don't think he wants to encounter resistance as quickly as these witches and wizards could give it and over here there are no watch posts for miles therefore it would be harder to call for re-enforcements." Hermione continued to stare at the map.

"But wouldn't he want to target the place near the magical town? That was he could capture some of them, I'm sure they would be more use to him than the muggles"

"I suppose" Davies muttered, "But he would probably think that all the non-magical relatives would be placed away from other magical towns so to draw less attention to them"

"But that would just leave them open to attack wouldn't it?" Davis sighed slightly but continued to explain

"Not exactly because Order members are always near by the relatives to protect them if necessary" Hermione was eager to learn about the relatives protecting scheme because she had not trusted any one else to look after her parent but her, and that hadn't worked at all.

"But wouldn't you know who be able to tell where the relatives were hiding by the Order members that patrolled and protected them?"

"The watchers are hidden from view at all times so it's impossible to know they're there unless you know for certain."

"He would know before he moved because he has spies" Finally Davis seemed to give up and just gave her a small smile, admitting defeat. Hermione barely noticed, she was thinking about her parents. She was pretty much convinced that this system would not have saved them either, which seemed to make her guilt and grief over loosing them a little bit easier to bare. She decided to leave Davis alone to his work and went to start preparing dinner for the guests before heading up to her room to wait some more for Severus's letter . She stayed awake late into the night, each passing hour made it more certain that she wasn't going to get a letter. It made her despair; she had been so sure that he would have been able to help her. She drifted off into a doze, thinking about her parents and Harry's plan. There was no guarantee that the idea would work, so she would end up without her parents even more so than now and she would still be off no help to the Order.

She awoke from her doze at the sound of the door slamming then the faint sound of someone cursing. Hermione immediately headed downstairs to find out who it was, the Order members that came in at this time of night usually needed assistance so Hermione had placed a charm in her room that allowed her to hear people coming and going after a certain time, which could be quite annoying when there was a mission that didn't require fighting and they came to Headquarters to meet up. As Hermione came down the stairs she noticed the kitchen light on so that was where she headed straight away. When she slowly opened to door the sight horrified her, there was Harry, sitting on a chair, covered in blood and taking off his outer layers. He jumped as she came in. "Harry, What the hell happened to you?" Harry tried to smile.

"I'm fine Hermione, its not as bad as it looks" Now that he was facing her she could see a gash along the side of his face where a lot of the blood seemed to come from. She whipped out her wand but Harry got there first, sealing the cut quickly. "Go back to bed Hermione, there's nothing wrong with me" as he said this he got to his feet continued to pull off his bloody layers, letting them fall to the floor in a messy heap. When he was left with just a thin t-shirt on he sat down again and Hermione saw that it was clean of blood, meaning it was as he'd said, he was fine.

"I'm not leaving you until you tell me what have you been all day. Everyone's been worried." As if to prove her point she slammed the door behind her and walked over to the seat opposite him.

He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes, "I was following a Death Eater to try and find out some information when he heard me and attacked. I managed to get a few of the names of the towns and villages he's planning to attack before that happened though." His averted eyes made Hermione sense he wasn't telling the whole truth but she let it pass. She didn't want to force information out of him. He would just close up.

"So that's his blood then?" Hermione asked referring to the blood stained clothes. Harry nodded,

"I'm not sure if I killed him, but he was badly hurt when I left" She didn't bother to ask why he had not finished the job, she knew he hated killing and the Death Eater was no longer a threat.

"Did you obliviate him?" Harry nodded;

"Of course, I didn't want Voldemort to know we knew about the attacks and then change his plans so were left in the dark again. We can't afford that Hermione." He eyes were shining brightly. "I'm going to call an Order meeting tomorrow before the raid" Hermione's eyes lowered in understanding. Trying to hide the pain his words were causing her. "But the only matters we will discuss will be how to stop the raids, and we need to go over the plan." Hermione felt her heart lift, she still had time. Harry got to his feet, "I'm going to go and get some sleep Hermione, try and do the same." Hermione stayed where she was.

"I saw Charlie today" The statement made him turn round.

"I'm sorry for lying, it was just something I had to do by myself" His eyes asked for forgiveness and Hermione found herself willingly giving it.

"Just don't do it again please Harry, I don't want to lose you as well" He nodded then headed forward and took her hand, pulling her gently out of her seat where she had remained sitting.

"Come on 'mione" he said softly and Hermione obeyed. Together they made their way up the stairs.

The next morning Hermione woke up to the unusual silence of the house. Normally there was at least one person pottering about but this morning...nothing. Slightly unnerved she quickly climbed out of bed and got dressed before quickly brushing her teeth and heading downstairs. There was no one there; even as she searched she couldn't find Harry or any of the other Order members. He's probably gone of gallivanting alone again…she thought bitterly to herself. Just then she remembered Harry saying about the information he had found, he would have a list somewhere she knew it. She started to search. It didn't take long, the names were neatly written on a piece of parchment on the kitchen table. Hermione picked it up and scanned the names. The first one was dated today. So that's where everybody was. None of the names seemed familiar so taking the list she headed to the dining room to find the map she knew Davies had left. It was right where she remembered it to be. Hermione sat down at the table and began to locate the places and placing blue markers on them, more than doubling the amount of dots, also on Harry's list where the days on which the attacks were planning to be made.

How had Harry got this information so easily? There had to be something more to it. But if he didn't want to tell her, then she obviously didn't need to know. Of course that didn't mean she didn't want to know. She returned her concentration to the map, trying to figure out how he was selecting his targets, eventually she gave up, he just seemed to select them all randomly. What more could you expect from a mad man. She got up off the seat and went to wander around the house some more, hoping to find some clue about when they would be back. There was nothing. All she could do was wait. And that's what she did, until eventually she became fed up and headed to the library to do some research. Hopefully she wouldn't just be sitting around doing nothing for much longer. She was fed up of being treated so breakable. But that was soon going to change. One mistake had changed the way people treated her, it was amazing how fast people could fall. Now she knew a little about how Harry had felt.

At about three o'clock the owl came, but it wasn't until Hermione left the library at about ten past to get a snack did she finally hear the tapping. Abandoning all thoughts of food she ran up the few stairs separating her from her room and let the owl in hurriedly. Hoping it was from Severus. It was short and did not contain much information but it got the flare of hope inside her again. It read:-

Miss Granger

As you wished I have done some research into the topic you required. I believe I have an obtainable answer, but the results are unsure as it is a solution of my own making. I require your presence at the same time and same place tomorrow evening to explain further.

Of his own making? Did that mean he had created a spell not merely discovered it? She wouldn't put it past him, she had been labelled the brightest witch of her age but she was certain she would never reach the intelligence or creative level of her professor. Not that it stopped her trying. She quickly released the owl and folded the note, sliding it into her pocket for safekeeping. It would only be a couple of hours until they returned, Harry never liked to hold Order meetings late, and they needed one today if they were going to sort any plans out for tomorrow. With that comforting thought in mind she turned back to the library to continue her research on where the Lord held his prisoners. She planned on asking Severus that tomorrow night, but if she knew him at all, she probably wouldn't get any answers. But she'd had enough of waiting, if Ron was still alive, he needed to be found, soon. She was running out of time.

About four hours later Hermione was starting to worry. Even if the after math of the raid was still being carried out. Someone would be back. She was about to pace back to her seat when heard the door open and she immediately leaped down the stairs to see who it was. There in the doorway stood Remus. He looked like he could barely stand up so Hermione rushed to his aid, helping him through to the dining room. The seats were much more comfortable there than in the kitchen. When he was seated Hermione quickly went into the cupboard and found a couple of potions to help with the pain, after making the reluctant werewolf drink them she healed him cuts quickly, they were only shallow, the real damage seemed to be internal which the potions took care of. All the way through her fussing Remus insisted that he was fine, but Hermione purposely ignored him, continuing with her work.

When Hermione was finally satisfied she quickly made a cup of tea and placed it in his hands. Then she sat herself on the edge of the sofa next to him. Trying to look calm but she couldn't stop her hands nervously playing with her trousers. She stared at him patiently, waiting for an explanation. Eventually Remus seemed to realise he wasn't leaving until Hermione knew what had happened so he started to go into a detailed account that had her blood running cold.

Some key Order members had received a tip concerning the whereabouts of the prisoners that the Dark Lord held captive a day or so ago. So a select group had headed there to search for captives and of course Death Eaters while others went to counteract the raid. About twenty people had gone to follow up the tip including Harry, Charlie and Remus. They had found the place scarcely guarded which had alerted most of them to the option of an ambush. They had explored, finding nothing but what appeared to be an abandoned building. About to leave the building they heard the screams and cries of help from what sounded like one of the captives, so the group had continued on carefully. They followed the screaming, disabling the many, but weak wards that blocked their way. When they finally reached the source it was to see a black robed figure with a mask torturing what was later proved to be a muggle. The black robed figure was immediately disarmed and thrown against the wall. It wasn't until the hood fell from his face did they realise who it was.

The 'missing' Ron Weasley.

The group had stared shocked until Ron had started to laugh, this seemed to be a signal and the other Death Eaters had attacked. There was only a small band of them and none of the Order members were seriously hurt. The Death Eaters had still gotten away though. Leaving their one hysterical member behind. Because of who he was the minister wanted to make an example of him. Ron was immediately taken to the ministry where he was thoroughly examined to see if his body contained any potions and if any lasting hexes were on him. Finding him free of noticeable spells they continued by questioning him, it didn't take long for the interviewers to see that he was acting of his own accord. He refused to say why and seemed pleased about the damage he had done to the muggle. He was then put on trial and sentenced, and taken away. This was all within the space of the few hours Hermione had been sitting idle. Most of the Order had attended the trial but it was decided that Hermione should remain behind due to her 'emotional connections' the same would have been arranged for Harry if he hadn't been so important and intent on going. Remus looked into her tear filled eyes. Now she knew why he had been the first to come back. No one else wanted to break the news. She knew what was coming before the words left his mouth but they were still like rocks in her heart.

"I'm sorry Hermione, he's been sentenced to life in Azkaban"

Another Chapter done and dusted, hope you enjoyed. Tell me what you think about the whole 'Ron being evil?' thing. Review :P

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