Disclaimer : Nope

Chapter five – Enough

When Hermione arrived at Headquarters she was relieved the see the dark building standing before her, Harry obviously hadn't waited for her to return tonight. Good for him, she was too preoccupied with her thoughts to bother with another argument tonight. She hated seeing the hurt and confusion in his emerald eyes. When she turned on him, he didn't understand why, couldn't see what he was doing to her. A soft sigh escaped her and she rubbed her forehead, when had things gotten so complicated. Hermione stood there for a few seconds, staring at the house and all it stood for before taking the first few laborious steps. It was only then she realized how tired she was. Her body seemed to ache all over from the 'adventure' in the forest and she was mentally exhausted. Slowly she made her way to her bed (Why did there have to be so many stairs?). When her head finally hit the soft pillow she closed her pain filled eyes and drifted off.

She didn't sleep for long; she woke with a start a few hours later, immediately sitting up bolt right. Her eyes frantically darted around the room, her wand clenched in her hand although she couldn't remember it getting there. She could have sworn she heard a noise. She paused, hyper aware of the movement of her chest and the beating of her heart. The only sounds disturbing the silence of the room, but that couldn't have been right. Something had woken her. She slipped noiselessly out of bed. Her bare feet barely touching the floor as she headed out of the door and down the stairs, determined to find the source of her disturbance. Her wand stayed ready in her hand, a curse on the tip of her tongue. When she reached the bottom of the stairs she noticed the kitchen light was on, somebody must have come in and not alerted her wards. Only a few people knew how to do that, and she was now morbidly curious. She took a few cautious steps forward lining herself up with a gap in the door, what she saw surprised and worried her. It was Harry, once again covered in blood that wasn't his. What was going on with him? Satisfied that there was no intruder and reluctant to alert him to her presence she practically ran back upstairs into her room. The adrenaline had gone but she could still fell the rapid beating of her heart. The overall experience had awakened feelings she hadn't had in ages. The thrill of the fight, and it had made her feel more alive then she had since Ron's betrayal. She wanted to experience it again. And she would…tomorrow. She was sure there was some sort of raid. That is if she remembered the dots correctly, but she had never doubted her memory on facts before. It wouldn't be hard to sneak in with the rest. Whether they like it or not, they needed her, and whether they liked it or not…they were going to get her.

That morning she got up early to prepare. Making herself a full breakfast but hardly touching it. How was she going to do this? The dots had been checked and she was right about the raid. But what if they decided not to come back here or what if they did and she missed it. It was most likely planned for the evening but she couldn't be certain. She would just keep her distance; it would be easier if they still thought she was mad. She chuckled softly; the sound echoing around the empty kitchen, mad was no way described her feelings. Her fingers traced around the rim of the cup and she stared into her coffee. Furious, hurt, degraded, broken were more like it, her hand clenched the cup, her knuckles turning white with the pressure. Then she slowly released the cup. No more losing control of emotion. She had promised herself. She got to her feet, ready to disappear upstairs and practice when the door opened. Her heart jumped and she braced herself in anticipation of an argument. First she was surprised when she couldn't see the person then she heard the little angry muttering and looked down.

"Sorry Miss, Kreacher did not think there was anyone here." He walked round the table. "Is Miss finished with her dishes?"

"Yes, thank you" then she left the room, barely closing the door when the muttering started again, probably nasty things abut her. But she had given up caring. She had tried being nice but it hadn't worked. There was only so much she could do.

The day drifted on and her anticipation of the evening grew with every passing hour. She found herself wandering around the house pointlessly, her fingers were itching to grab her wand and practice but it was pretty pointless without a partner and she doubted anyone would agree. She mentally ran through the spells instead, trying to remember everything she had been taught. It got more difficult as the day went by and more people arrived. At one point Harry walked into the room when she been a little over enthusiastically practicing her wand movements but he didn't get a chance to ask her about it as she was out of the room in a flash, not even bothering to glare at him as she left the room. She did watch him carefully after that though. He was going to be on the raid for certain so he was an easy target.

Just when the light was starting to stream weakly through the windows Hermione felt the atmosphere becoming even tenser, it felt like it was crackling around her, seeping into her veins and pulling her along with it. She tried milling around with the people that knew what they were doing but she constantly felt disapproving eyes upon her, so she disappeared up a few stairs, hiding in the slight shadows. She wanted to polyjuice herself but someone might come looking for her at some point, better to wait as late as possible. When her searching eyes finally caught sight of Harry, gesturing everyone into the meeting room she headed to the landing and took the potion. Gasping as it took hold. A few painful minutes later she ran down the stairs and slipped unnoticed in the room to be briefed with the rest of the group. She wasn't stupid enough to go in blind.

It seemed only a few minutes later that they were spread out in the dark silently. Not having a proper assigned group she had tagged along with one of the smaller scout groups with no one there who would recognize her. She had just settled down when a small teen noticed her, she must have only been about a year younger than her but she seemed younger. She seemed extra scared so Hermione guessed it was her first proper raid. The girl smiled cautiously at her, bright eyes standing out in the dark. Hermione smiled back, trying to figure out what it was about the girl that seemed so familiar…but she just couldn't place it. Deciding to think on it later she then turned her attention to every sound around her. They were one of the scout groups and would be alerted when the fight, if there was going to be one, began. The silence was overwhelming, the sound of breathing heavy in the darkness. After about half an hour the group were starting to confer softly, wondering what they were to do if no one called them. She was starting to think that there had been a mistake when she heard a small pop a little to the left of her. It was hard to identify with the murmuring around her. "Shh" she hissed violently and everyone stopped muttering. Then she heard more of the same popping noise. Slowly she got to her feet, gesturing the girl next to her and the guy behind her. The girl got to her feet immediately but the boy hissed

"Get down, you'll blow our cover" Hermione ignored him, her eyes fixed to the left, her ears tuned for any other human noise.

"Hey" he muttered, "You're not in charge-" he got to his feet

"Don't you here that?" She hissed back, breaking her concentration for a second to glare at him as he stumbled, rustling a bush angrily. That was all it took. Suddenly a red light flew through the trees and Hermione flung herself and the girl next to her down to the floor to avoid it. There they remained silently. A couple of the group moved to get up but Hermione held her hand up to stop them, she had no guarantee that the Death Eaters knew they were actually there. But before she could stop the guy he was standing again his wand pointed in the air, she went to tackle him down but he had already sent a red warning flame in the air. They fell to the ground

"You idiot! Now they know were here" She spat at him. She barely had time to get to her feet before the spells came flying though. "This way" she said attempting to lead the group quickly away from their current position. They were a very small group, full of inexperienced fighters. There was no way they could fight the Death Eaters off by them selves, especially if they were the full raid.

Her plan was to try and circle around the Death Eaters, but she was dismayed when not everyone followed her out of the firing line. Some started copying the guy, shooting spells back in the blackness and some flung themselves to the ground in the confusion. Hermione sighed and muttered "Amateurs" under her breath before saying louder to the group.

"Come on, we've got to get within eye sight. Surprise them" The girl nodded, as did the rest of her following. Giving up on the rest she led her group away quickly, ignoring the calls of coward coming from the others, most of them coming from the people lying on the ground.

Less then a minute it took them to find the Death Eaters in a small clearing. There was about twenty - thirty there and they were advancing towards the group of Order members, dodging the badly aimed spells easily. There weren't nearly enough Order members left with the group to fight them off. They would be overrun; it wouldn't be a fight at all, it would be a disaster. She addressed her group

"We've got to distract them or they'll get the others. When I say, cast your spells then follow me as quick as you can" She paused, watching the Death Eaters intensely. She waited until the moment when at least one would know where the spells came from. "Now!" She sent her own stunning spell with the others then ran along their path away from the Death Eaters. Two spells hit the same mark, sending him to the ground, one Death Eater dodged one and another was hit by a freeze spell. It didn't do them too much damage but it did its purpose. They stopped moving towards the group and started shooting the spells in the random direction that Hermione and her group had come from.

"They've moved!" one called

"No you idiot they've separated"

Hermione waited until they started heading back towards the group then signalled again and another two were down. Their trick only worked once more before the Death Eaters twigged.

"Spread out, make a semi circle" the leader called and Hermione cursed, her mind working in overdrive as she attempted to figure out what to do next. Unable to find a way out she just called "Get down now" to her group. They all dove to the ground immediately and Hermione prayed it would work. Her eyes watched the Death Eaters as they raised their wands in sync. But as they were about to cast the main group of Order members burst through the undergrowth at the opposite end of the clearing, lead by Harry. They were firing spells off into the group of surprised Death Eaters. The sides were nearly even now and Hermione smiled as the fight began she turned to her group who looked unsure. "You, you and you go and tell the others what's happening". The small group split immediately into two and a few went back the way they came. "The rest of you have to help the Order with me" They nodded, except the young girl who looked shaken. "I've never been in a fight like this before." She whispered her face full of shame. Hermione turned to the rest of the group and gestured they enter the fight. "Good luck". She turned back to the girl. "I know it's scary, but they need every one out there. You wouldn't be here if you weren't ready" The girl still looked scared. Hermione sighed softly then looked towards the battle hungrily. "Look just stay by me and you'll be fine." the girl nodded. With that Hermione burst into the clearing and immediately claimed the attention of the nearest Death Eater. The girl did the same but she remained close enough for Hermione to watch her out of the corner of her eye. When she had stunned her Death Eater she moved on to the one who seemed to be winning against the teen, finishing him off quickly. From then on it was a messy blur of dodging, ducking and casting. She didn't even think about the potion wearing off. So when she met a pair of green eyes across the clearing she didn't even attempt to hide herself. Finally the Death Eaters apparated way and the Order was left to deal with the casualties.

Hermione immediately checked the girl over, feeling a strange amount of concern of her. "Are you ok?" she asked. The girl nodded seeming a little wary of Hermione now. "Thank you" her soft voice made her seem so much younger than she actually was.

"What's your name?"

"Zoey. Zoey Davies"

There was a pause

"You're Hermione Granger aren't you?"

"Yes she is" Hermione froze and turned around slowly. There she met a pair of furious green eyes. Zoey quickly left the conversation and attempted to make herself useful else ware. Hermione didn't know what to say.

"What the hell are you doing here Hermione? You're supposed to be back at the Order"

"I'm not a child Harry, you can't tell me what to do. I was needed here you know I can fight-"

"Don't you remember the last time we let you on a raid Hermione? We didn't stop you for no reason"

Hermione's eyes darted back and forth checking no one was listening. No one seemed to be but she cast a muffling charm anyway.

"Harry" she continued quietly "That was one time and I was grieving I just-"

"Well shouldn't the same be said about you now Hermione? The whole…" he paused trying to get the words out and Hermione felt the difficulty he had saying the name. "…Ron thing, your not in the right state of mind"

"That's complete and utter bullshit! I'm fine…they needed-"

Harry sighed "No they didn't. You jeopardized the mission" That was a surprise.

"What the hel-" Then her gaze was drawn towards the leader of the group. He was standing a little way away, but she could tell he was trying to listen. He noticed her gaze and smirked. Furious she started walking towards him wand out, forgetting the muffling charm "I saved you're ass you son of a-"

"Hermione" Harry grabbed her arm. "Listen to me, you weakened the group, split them up and assaulted the leader. It could have been a disaster." Hermione unable to reach the trouble maker glared at him before turning back to Harry.

"But it wasn't! I had to leave them, they were fighting blind! It would have been suicide to fight with them-"

"We were on our way, you should have waited"

"You would have been too late! We were out numbered three to one. I had to stop them getting to the group. We were distracting them for ten minutes before you showed up"

"Not necessarily. And that's not the point. Hermione, you were not supposed to be on the raid or in that group, if that wasn't bad enough, you ignored your group leader and encouraged others to do the same."

"That's not-"

"Enough Hermione. Go back to headquarters; help the members that are hurt. Like you were supposed to" he turned away and she was dismissed. As she watched his retreating back she couldn't help but feel more hurt than she had felt in a while but she decided not to say another word. There was no point, he wasn't going to listen to her, they never did. Instead she sighed and turned on her heel to apparate away. There was no way she would be able to sneak on another raid now, she had blown it. But at least one thing was certain. She smiled, she still had it.

She wasn't smiling later on that evening after a clean up operation for the raid. Wherever she went people seemed to have heard about her sneaking on the raid and 'jeopardising' it. From what she gathered, the stories were becoming stupider and people were even dredging up…older stories. She heard the words "Emotionally unstable" and "Anger problems" far too many times to make her comfortable being around people. She had just about had enough and was about to storm off to her room when there was a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Oh Hermione" a familiar but slightly reprimanding voice spoke behind her and overwhelmed by the comfort those words brought her she flung her arms around the person. Hiding herself in his warm scent. She sighed softly.

"Oh Charlie, I've missed you" She pulled away, and stared into his blue eyes. "Where have you been…things have been just awful…" she flung herself back into his arms. Charlie seemed unsure about what to do as he patted her back uncomfortably.

"Hermione" he muttered into her hair. "I've missed you to but the Order wants to speak to you. They sent me to come and get you" Hermione immediately pulled herself out of his arms and turned her burning eyes to him. He took a step back "Don't be like that love, they just thought that I was the only one you would listen to." She turned away and he brought one of his fingers up to her chin, making her look at him. "Hermione I know how you feel…They didn't tell me you didn't know…I didn't even get to go to the trial" she pushed his hand away. "But there not treating you like some fragile, insecure child" Charlie put his fingers to his forehead. "Hermione they just want to talk to you…come on 'mione…" Hermione felt her resolve melt away.

"Fine" she muttered. "But I'm not taking any crap from them" and with that she lifted her head up high and strode off to the meeting room. Avoiding and ignoring every hostile stare that came her way. She didn't really notice Charlie slipping into the room after her.

Later that night she lay staring at the dark ceiling of her wall, fuming. They were lucky that she had stayed and listened to their rubbish for the fifteen minutes she did. It was the most degrading thing since being sent to the headmaster's office when she was at school for slapping a girl who called her a "bushy haired, big toothed swot". They had sat there (they made her stand in front of them like a naughty school girl) and lectured her, all of them. Arthur, Harry, Remus, all the key members. It was like she was on trial. She didn't even get to tell her side. At one point she nearly blurted out about the potion but held it in. They were over- exaggerating everything as it was and would only turn it against her. The part that had caused her to finally walk out was when they finally brought up spying

"Hermione, I know that you feel like we're treating you like a child. But this is for your own good-" Yeah because that didn't sound like something you say to a child. "-and the good of the Order. We cannot let your overly emotional state override your usually spot on decision making…now as much as we regret-"

"You're forbidden to become a spy Hermione. We're going to find someone else." Harry cut in to Remus's long winded speech abruptly.

"Wha-What?" Hermione could barely get the words out, she looked at one Order member at a time, but they each avoided her gaze. "You know I'm the best one to-"

"Not at the moment you aren't Hermione between before and now this…" it was Arthurs turn this time. And before any of them could say another word she walked out, trying to cling on to the rest of her dignity. As she left the room she passed Zoey who was about to go in, sparing her a small smile before going straight to her room, locking the door and laying down. What was she going to do now? She had no where to go and if she stayed here then they would continue to talk down to her like this. She was about to attempt to sleep when there was a soft knock on the door. Hermione remained silent. The person knocked again then a soft, sweet voice drifted through the door.

"Hermione Granger…its me…Zoey…can I come in?" in surprise she got out of bed and opened the door, Zoey slipped in and went to sit directly on the bed Hermione had just vacated. Instead, choosing to be intimidating she stood and crossed her arms after casting a silencing charm.

"What are you doing here?" She said calmly. Zoey sat their fidgeting nervously for a few seconds until Hermione snapped "Well?" making the poor girl jump and Hermione feel bad.

"It's gonna make me sound bad" she whispered. Hermione continued to stare, giving the girl time to continue. Then it all blurted out "I don't think it's fair what they're doing to you, because they stop people like you going out they have to replace them with people like…me." She blushed and looked to the floor. "I'm not a very good fighter, I've only been training for a couple of months…and I think you should go instead of me on the next raid" The girl looked up and Hermione met her once again bright eyes.

"I don't-"

The girl continued, still rushed. "That's not all. I volunteered to be a spy and because…" she blushed "People say I'm a younger version of you…they said they would consider it" Hermione was strangely touched.

"But what does that have to do with me? They still won't let me go-"

The girl interrupted. "I don't mean go as you…I mean…go as me. You obviously know how to use a polyjuice potion" the girl smiled, and Hermione saw the hint of a smirk. Hermione smiled in response. "Of course"

Review?