Dissociation

Chapter Eleven

-Mending-

Akito slowly opened his eyes, squinting at the small slip of light that was streaming right over his eyes. He blinked a few times in order to let his eyes adjust, and when his vision cleared, he could see the tiles in the ceiling. His brow furrowed as he tried to think of where he was.

The last thing he remembered was the pain in his shoulder from the gunshot wound, and seeing Natsumi's assailant run away before everything became blurry. He vaguely remembered the sound of his name being shouted by someone, but before he could figure out who it was he was unconscious. He sighed. That must mean he was in the hospital, and he was fine.

His shoulder felt a bit stiff, and he experimentally moved it, wincing at the pain that shot down his arm. Along with the movement he felt something on his hand, and he rolled his head to the side to see what it was. Surprise lit his gaze before it softened to a small smile when he saw the top of Natsumi's pink head lying on the bed next to his arm, and the object over his hand being her own.

He rolled his hand so that he could hold her hand as well. "I love you." He said softly, not wanting to wake her. "And I'm so sorry. For everything." He began to rub the back of her hand with his thumb, continuing to watch her as she slept. He wondered how long he had been here, and hoped that he hadn't scared her too badly. That thought only made him feel worse about the whole situation.

The movement seemed to have roused her slightly, and eventually her eyes opened slowly and she looked up at his own. She sat up quickly and moved closer to him, "Akito, you're awake! Are you ok? How's your head. You aren't seeing double are you? Do you need anything? Water? Something to eat? You've been asleep for two days."

He just stared at her for a moment, surprised that she wasn't still upset with him, and that she was actually concerned. Because the last time they spoke, she had said she hated him and was going to take the kids away from him again. Well, he thought, might as well test the waters and see if she had forgiven him or not. "A striptease would be fantastic." He joked, smiling at her.

She hit him over the head harshly, not caring that he was injured. "Be serious you idiot! You were seriously hurt!"

"It was just a bullet wound." He said, rubbing his head with his free hand. "And in the end, I saved you, so it's worth it."

Natsumi rolled her eyes. "You are the most pompous man I have ever met." She sighed, sitting back down and crossing her arms tightly over her chest. "And what, dare I ask, makes you think you saved me?"

"He was aiming the gun at you." He sighed, becoming serious then as he rolled his head and looked back up at the ceiling. "The case that I've been working on lately involves one of the worst thugs in the city. He threatened to hurt you…or one of the kids…if I took the case against him. That's why Toshiro or I have been with you guys a lot over the weekend. And after you left the police station, I followed you on foot to make sure you would be okay. That's when I saw the guy across the street tailing you as well, and when he pulled out a gun, I panicked. I'm sorry if I hurt you, when I pushed you out of the way." He said softly, his body slowly tensing as he waited for her reaction. He glanced at her, praying that the look on her face wasn't a pissed off one.

"So…you we're just with me…because you had to be." She asked, her voice dangerously low, which meant he had to be extremely careful in what he said next.

"No." he said, turning his face towards her once more. "I was with you because I wanted to be with you and the kids. I didn't lie when I told you that that was the happiest I'd been in years. Even if there wasn't a threat to your life, I still would have followed you from that station, because I love you Natsumi. And I know I screwed up, and you have every right to hate me, but please don't take the kids away again. I'm not strong enough to survive losing my family once more. Not after I've seen what I could have had if I hadn't ruined everything." He said, his desperation and fear evident in his voice and his eyes.

"Why would you do that?" she glared back at him. "I lost my job because of you. Do you have any idea the severity of what you've done?"

He looked down in shame. "I'm sorry. I'll take care of everything, don't worry about it. You'll have your job back by the end of the week, I promise."

She shook her head, leaning back in the chair and looking off. "You don't have any pull at a hospital Akito, my reputation is ruined. It's one thing to be accused and it be false but they actually found drugs. It's not like I don't look as guilty as if I was covered in blood and claimed I didn't kill someone. And even when I get proven innocent the rumor is still there and me working there will be bad for the hospital."

"What about finding work at a different hospital?" he asked, looking up at her.

"Like anyone would want me as a resident now." She closed her eyes and tried not to cry. "You've destroyed my life again." She said harshly.

True hurt and pain fixed itself on his face, and his entire body went stiff at her words. He turned his head to the other side, staring at the wall as his face went slowly blank. What did she mean by again? Was she talking about him getting her pregnant when they were young? Causing them to marry early, and then the way he had ruined the marriage? Or was it just the fact that he had insisted on staying in her life growing up, having fallen in love with her as a child and wanting to stay with her forever?

His fists clenched when he realized she was right. His very presence was what had ruined her life. If he hadn't been around she could have finished college, gone to medical school, met some nice guy and had a few kids with him. She would have been perfectly happy with that, and he wouldn't do anything to ruin her life. It seemed…that maybe it would be for the best if she left with the kids. That way he wouldn't be there to ruin anything else.

"But…" she sniffed. "As much as I hate you right now. And as mad as I am. I realized, when you were hurt, that it didn't matter how imperfect you were or how insane. Because the thought of losing you…was absolutely unbearable. The thought of not being able to find you again, tore me to shreds. Because I love you so much that I don't care," she looked at him, fully crying now. "Because I know how flawed I am as well and I cannot live without you anymore…I know I can't…because I could have picked anywhere to be transferred to…but I picked here…because I missed you so, so much. And I want to be with you because you make me happy and sad at the same time. You make me laugh and cry. But you make me feel real and raw and I've only ever felt that with you. And I thought…maybe you still wanted to be with me too…especially when I found this." She trembled, lifting up a small black velvet box.

Akito turned his head back to face her and went wide eyed, his gaze shooting to her teary one, and then the box in her hand. "I…bought that after that first night I saw you when you came back." He said softly. "I hated you for leaving, and I was angry as hell, but you're the only one who makes me feel things. You know as well as I do that I wouldn't be a normal human being if it weren't for you. And…after being with you again, I knew that you were what I wanted, no matter what. I wanted to be with you and the kids for the rest of my life, and so I decided to try and get you to love me again. I didn't know if you had kept your ring from our first marriage or not, but I like this one better, because it symbolizes a new life for us. It's the ring you deserve, the one I should have gotten you the first time." He looked at her.

"I love you so much Natsumi. I would have asked you to marry me sooner…but every time I was I always seemed to screw things up, and I didn't want to risk you saying no if I asked. Because that would kill me…if you didn't want me…the way I want you." He said softly.

"I do want you…" she whispered softly. "But I don't want you to hurt me anymore. And so I want to go back to California, where I lived with the kids."

Akito sighed and looked down, his entire being filled with sadness at the prospect of his family being so far away. The only bright side to this was that at least this time he would know where to find them, and so could visit them whenever he got the chance. It would be hard, but he supposed he deserved it, after everything.

"And I want you to come with me."

His eyes shot to hers. "You do?" he asked, hope filling him.

She nodded and smiled softly at him. "Yes. We can't be together there Akito. Too many bad things happened between us here and we can really start new there. And I know this case you have now is important, so we don't have to go now. But after…" she trailed off. "We could go and buy a house together."

He smiled. "I would like that. I could probably transfer to a firm out there, and still be a partner too, so that I don't have to work so hard. And if not, I'll just open up my own firm." He held his hand out for her to take.

"Well that's the thing." She smiled. "Toshiro and Minako are moving with us." She said taking his hand in hers.

"Then Toshiro and I will probably just open up our own firm. It's much easier that way." He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "So…does this mean you're accepting my proposal?"

"What proposal?" she smirked evilly. "I don't believe you've got down on one knee and asked me to marry you again."

"Am I even allowed to get out of this hospital bed?" he asked, raising a brow at her.

"Does it make a difference?"

He sighed, slowly sitting up and trying not to use his right arm. He reached out and took the box from her, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and standing. Then he got down on one knee, holding her hand in his the entire time. Once he was situated, as best anyone could be in a hospital gown that was currently giving him an uncomfortable breeze, he looked up at her. "Natsumi, I love you, more than life itself. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife once more?" he asked, popping open the box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring set in white gold.

"Hm…" she tapped her chin with her free hand. "I suppose." She snickered, getting down to her knees as well and kissing him. He cupped her cheek, threading his fingers into her hair.

"You know…with my shoulder busted like this, you'll have to be on top for a while. Can you handle dominating me?" he asked deviously against her lips.

She pulled away slightly, giving him an amused look. "Please. If you think you're getting sex after what you did you are seriously mistaken. For your punishment, I'm not going to have sex with you until our wedding night." She replied smugly.

He pouted, sticking out his lower lip. "But Natty…I took a bullet for you…" he whined.

"Akki," she poked his forehead. "You planted cocaine in my locker and had me arrested and fired. It's not happening." She told him gleefully.

"Can we elope then?" he asked, still trying to look as adorable as possible.

"Nope!" Natsumi laughed and pulled away from him, helping him to his feet and back into bed. She looked at the ring on her finger and relished in the familiar weight. "You'll just have to wait till it's all planned and we're in California."

"Well then you'd better be ready for the best night of your life, cause' we're gonna keep going until we pass out." He smirked, grabbing the control to move his bed to a sitting position.

She sighed contently and shrugged. "Alrighty. I'll be ready." She waved him off and headed for the door. "I'll go get the kids and bring them to visit you and make some calls and start the planning."

"The kids are here?" he asked, perking up even more.

"No." she blinked. "They're at home. Probably just got back from school."

"Oh yeah." He scratched the back of his head. "I forgot they had school." He shrugged. "Alright, I guess I'll just sit here and harass the nursing staff while I wait."

"Don't be too mean." She laughed and walked over, kissing him on the head. "See you in a little while." She told him and left the room.

He sighed, leaning back against the head of the bed and smiling. Finally, things were beginning to look up. He couldn't believe his luck in finding such an amazing woman, and was extremely grateful that she had taken him back. He closed his eyes, beginning to drift off as he pictured what their new life together would be like, his entire being filled with a peace and happiness he hadn't felt in years.