This is just a short chapter, mostly about Bella's past.
Hope you enjoy reading :)
R & R
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.
Where Are You Now
Chapter 2 – The Past
When I got home, I locked up myself in my room and cried.
I just don't know what to do anymore. My life is a big mess. I don't even know if I can support this baby. I have no job, no money, and I don't know how I can survive now.
If I'm just able to finish college, maybe I have a good job now. Two more years and I'm done with college, but I lost my scholarship. Really, when I was in high school I have no plans in going to college, but when the scholarship was given to me, my whole point of view change. I realized what I really want in life. I realized that I can have a better future when I finish college. I thought I could fulfill my dream of being a writer.
But that won't happen now. When I failed one class, they took my scholarship; they said that I was not worth it, that other brainier student deserves it. At first it was fine. I found jobs and I used my savings to pay my tuition. But in my third year in college, the tuition fee increased in 30%, it was too much. I can pay the first semester with my savings, but after that I cannot afford the following sems anymore. So I decided that I will stop studying for a while. I'll have to save up money first so I can continue and finish college.
You must be wondering why I have no parents to support me.
Well, I don't have parents, and I never had any.
I grew up in an orphanage in Montana. When I was seven I started asking questions to the nuns who are taking care of the kids there about my parents and how I got here. They refused to answer my questions. But I didn't give up, until they have answered my questions. Finally somebody answered me. Sister Marissa said that they just found me in front of the gates of the orphanage, that my parents left me there, with nothing, but the necklace with a crest pendant. I cried and cried during that day. I cried because my parents do not want me. They don't care for me. I regret why I even asked that question.
Five years passed, Sister Marissa, my only friend and the only person that I trust here in the orphanage died. I grew up an outcast and distant to others. I only have one friend, Camilla. Of all the children here she is the only one who dares to talk to me and she listens to me. She comforts me when I feel sad and she's always there when I have nightmares. We also have two things in common, the color of our hair and eyes. She declared that we are sisters so we should stick with each other no matter what.
One day, we were hanging out in our room (we share a room), and she asked me if we could play dress-up. I said that it was so girly and boring, but she said that it would be fun.
So she started digging up in our closet, and she suddenly stopped when she found my necklace. She was amused by it; she said that it was beautiful. She likes it so much, so I said that she could have it. She was so happy that day. And also since that day she started wearing the necklace and she never removed it from her neck.
Two weeks passed and a married couple came to the orphanage. I was walking on the hallways when I accidentally heard a conversation going on Sister Marion's office.
"We left a baby here twelve years ago," a man said.
"We have ma—"
I was caught eavesdropping by Camilla. She said that I shouldn't listen to adults' conversation because it is bad.
So we just went to the library and we looked for good books. Camilla was the one who influenced me to read books. And so I developed an addiction to classics and fictions. I have been sneaking up books from the Library and reading it during late nights.
During that day, all of us were called for an inspection. I don't know what they will inspect, but I hate inspections. So I hid in the Sister's Quarters, no kids are allowed there so they wouldn't be inspecting me to go there.
When I heard the children's noise and their running feet I took it as a sign that the inspection was done. I went out of the quarters and I looked for Camilla.
But she was gone. I asked some of the kids, if they have seen her, all they said was Camilla was already taken by the couple who came here earlier.
I became even sadder and distant. I stopped talking to anyone. Nobody ever shared the room again with me. They all think that I was crazy and I would try to hurt them. But they were wrong.
When I have started high school, I changed again. I started having friends, and that's where I met Rose. She changed me. I know, when I like a person I get easily influenced by them.
We are complete opposites, but we are close as sisters. She taught me many things, and she brought out the Bella that I didn't know exists.
We go shopping together, we go to parties together, we often have sleepovers at her place, and much more fun things.
During our senior year, we were more inseparable. I thought I was not going to college, but she has. Their family is that not rich, but they can still afford to pay for her college. But me, I don't have money except from my allowance that I have saved.
Two months before graduation a scholarship offer came to me. It was a scholarship from NYU. Maybe my hard work in studying was really worth it, that was what I thought during that time.
When I told Rose about it, she was so ecstatic because she was also going there. She said that she would be the one to find our apartment, and that our college life will be so fun.
It was indeed fun and enjoyable...at first. The allowance that I am receiving every month from the scholarship was not enough. Soon I started working, which made my schedule very hectic. I study by day and work by night. Even during weekends I work so I barely have time to rest.
I grades also suffered. I fell asleep during my classes. I lack lectures and some books. That was the time when I failed one of my classes. I was so depressed that day.
After just a week, I received a letter that says that my scholarship was gone. My world came crashing down. Thank God Rose was there. She even offered me help, but I declined it. That would be too much.
But still I continued studying, until the time that I can't support myself anymore.
And now I am here.
...
I don't want to kill the baby, that's one thing for sure. I am not a killer and a murderer.
But I don't want my friends to shoulder this problem—my problem. I can manage. I don't easily give up.
But first, I need to get out of this place. They should not know that I am pregnant.
So I packed my things. I'm glad that I still have money for the plane ticket.
I wrote a note to Rose. I know she will hate me after this. But this is my only option.
I am going back to where I grew up.
Sorry for the errors.
Kindly follow me on TWITTER: twitter . com /IshiLovesIchigo (just remove the spaces:) )
Thanks for reading!
ishi :)