(re-posted)

Okay, I'm not neglecting "The Truth"...I'm halfway done with chapter 18 and I'll be posting it on the day after tomorrow.

Thanks for the reviews, alerts and faves :)

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight, no copyright infringement intended.

Where Are You Now

Chapter 3 – Goodbyes

The three-hour plane ride to Montana was pretty peaceful. When I got off the plane, I checked my cell.

20 texts, 35 missed calls, and 18 voicemails.

Most of them are from Rose, and some from Angela. I didn't bother to check on the texts and voice mails. That will just make things even harder than it already is.

I went to the nearest trash bin and I threw my phone. I don't want them to track where I was. Even though Rose might know that I am here, there's no way that she would think that I'll go here. She knows how much I hate the orphanage.

…

After two more bus rides, I finally arrived at the orphanage.

It has changed so much. It looks older.

I pulled my suitcase and walked towards the familiar gates of the structure. When I was in front of the large grills of the gate, I spotted Sister Marion, the Mother Superior of the nuns here. She is wearing a habit that she and the other nuns here normally wear.

She does look older, when I last saw her, her wrinkles were just on the sides of her eyes, but now, there are wrinkles on her forehead.

"Sister Marion!" I called, and succeeded to take her attention.

She walked toward my direction, and when she got here, she opened the gates.

"Isabella? Is that you? You look beautiful, you have grown so much," she said softly.

"Yes, it's me," was all I managed to say before the tears fell from my eyes.

I feel ashamed of going here now. Maybe I shouldn't have gone here in the first place. I'm afraid that they'll kick me out of this place when they knew the real reason why I am here. But, I hope not. I know they are good people.

"Let's go inside, and talk?" She said with a weak smile on her face.

I nodded.

As I went inside, I can feel many stares on me. Maybe some of the people here can still recognize me. I know that most of the kids that I have been here with before are already gone. Because when they have reached eighteen (after high school), they are sent to some institutions where they can get help, work, or study…some things like that.

When we got inside her office, Sister Marion asked me to have a seat while taking hers.

"So can I know the exact reason why you are here?" She asked softly, but still demanding.

"I…I have nowhere to go," I answered softly.

"Isn't that you were studying college at New York?"

"Yes, I was but I stopped."

"But why?"

"They took away my scholarship."

"Oh, but I'm afraid you can't stay here. Remember that there are rules, that when a child becomes eighteen, we will have them choose whatever they want to do in their lives, except from staying here," she said sadly.

"But I am pregnant. And I don't know what to do. I don't know where the father of the baby is. I'm confused—I have never experienced this before. But I don't want to abort the baby; you know I'm not that kind of person. Please, I'll work here, just let me stay." I sobbed quietly after that.

After a few more minutes of silence, she finally spoke.

"Okay, I'll let you stay here. But you have to do some light chores, because you are pregnant. Maybe I'll duty you to the nursery so you can practice taking care of a baby."

I can't help but smile.

"Thank you so much," I said happily.

…

Seven months later…

"Push, Isabella! I can see the head already!" Sister Amery shouted.

I was washing the dishes when I felt a sudden tightening in my stomach, at first it didn't bother me, but after a few more times, it started to make me feel uncomfortable and I am starting to feel pain. And then a nun saw me and she called every one of them, and said I was in labor.

Sister Marion was panicking, but after a few moments, she decided that they'll bring me to the hospital.

But even before I could move I felt my water broke, and the liquid gushed on my thighs, then to my legs. I shouted that I can't take it anymore.

There is only one of them who have experienced helping on giving birth to a baby, and it is Sister Amery. So they brought me to the clinic, and they laid me on the bed.

And now I am here, facing the pain of giving natural birth.

I was pushing so hard that I felt like passing out. I'm just so tired, and my whole body hurts.

"Don't sleep Isabella, I think two more pushes and the baby is out," Sister Amery said soothingly.

I nodded incoherently.

I pushed with all of my strength, and then another, and then I was sure that I passed out. But before drifting off to unconsciousness, I heard the most wonderful sound that I have ever heard in my entire life. My baby's cry.

"It's a girl!" Sister Amery said excitedly.

And then I was lost. I can't feel my body anymore. I felt like I was going to sleep forever.

…

I woke up in a cold room. I can hear beeping and soft voices. Then I realized that I was inside a hospital. They must've brought me here when I passed out.

"She's awake!"

And then I heard a soft cry, and then it got louder.

That was my baby. My baby girl.

"Uh, can I hold her?" I didn't know that I said that. It just kinda came out of my mouth, it was natural.

Sister Marion handed her to me. As soon as she was in my arms, she stopped crying.

She is so beautiful. She was a little but heavy. Her cheeks were puffy and pink; there were soft curly brown hair like mine on her little head, and her skin was snow white. I wonder what the color of her eyes would be; I hope she gets the sparkling emerald color of her father's eye.

"What are you going to name her?" Sister Abigail asked.

"Emerald," I answered happily.

…

After that day, they have allowed me and Emerald to get home after our tests. Luckily, Emerald was healthy, same as me.

I have only been with my baby for a day, but I can't let go off her already. She is the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to my life. But I know I have to leave her. She will have no future with me. She deserves more. If only her father could see her now.

But I have made my decision seven months ago. I know I'm being so cruel by doing this, but it's for her good anyways. I am leaving her. I am leaving her, not because I want her to experience the life that I have experienced, but for her to have a better life. Who knows? She might be adopted by better parents. The one who could feed her, clothe her and of course, to love her. I cannot do that, now that I am alone and broke.

Sister Marion will not approve with this once I tell her about it. But once I have explained my reason, she'll realize that I'm just being reasonable. I'm just doing this for the baby's good.

…

Three months later…

Emerald is growing fast and she really has the color of her father's eyes. She is getting even more beautiful as each day passes.

I have decided to tell Sister Marion that I have to leave now. I have to make something in my life. I have to start work, and study again. I'll use my remaining money to pay for my first sem and for the enrollment fee, and I'll find a new apartment and jobs to sustain myself. I'll just have to transfer to another college, the one that will not cost a fortune.

I was checking out the map last week, and I have decided to go to Washington. There is an internet connection here, it's pretty slow, but it will do. I searched for some colleges, I found some, but I'll just decide when I get there.

But for now I have to talk to Sister Marion.

I knocked on her door, and then I came in.

She smiled softly to me, and she asked to me to sit. I have been here for numerous times, but I'm still nervous inside. Whenever I go here I always have explosive announcements.

"Is there a problem?" She asked worriedly.

"No, I just want to say something."

"What is it?"

"I'll continue college…and I'm leaving Emerald here." Yes! I've said it without stuttering.

"Leaving Emerald?"

"For good."

"For good? Are you on your right mind Isabella? You are leaving your baby? The one you carried for nine months?"

"But, she doesn't have a future with me. She could have a better life with another family. I don't want to make her life miserable, please understand," I said, a few tears and running down my cheeks.

"But if possible…if you think you could sustain her with her needs already, will you come back to her?"

"Yes, of course. She's the best thing that's ever happened to my life."

"Fine."

"Thank You."

…

Leaving her was the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life. But I didn't think twice.

I packed my things, said farewell to everyone, and I left.

When I got to the plane, I started sobbing hard that got me to have many stares from the other passengers. But I didn't care. Nobody understands me anyway.

When I opened my handbag to get some tissue, I found a thick envelope. There is writing in front.

Isabella,

Please use this in your study. Please use this for reasonable things. This might not last but, I hope this helps.

Take good care of yourself,

Sr. Marion.

I opened the envelope and I found many one-hundred dollar bills inside. She really never fails to help me.

I promise that I will have to make something good in my life.

Sorry for the errors...

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Thanks for reading!

-Ishi :)